BIG RIG

INT. LAWYERS OFFICE- DAY

Lawyer ( 56 years old) walks straight to his desk.

LAWYER

Derrick and Randall. Have a seat.

Two men hover over his desk.

LAWYER

Your Dad left some pretty specific instructions in this will.

Lawyer takes his glasses out.

LAWYER

To one of my two sons Randall or Derrick,

Waiting for his response.

LAWYER

I leave my entire estates.

Clears throat.

LAWYER

The double wide trailer, all contents inside, the one and a half acres the trailer sits on, my eighty seven Cutlas, and my most prized possession, the Big Rig 18 Wheeler. There is one important condition to this will. That condition is that since my boys have never been able to share anything in there life, they would probably just fight over my stuff and sale off my prized possessions. Therefore, I think it’s time they had a challenge. The son who delivers needed supplies to seven distinct Salvation Army stores fastest, will inherit it all.

Now since this is for charity normal truck driver rules and regulations are out the window on this one. Feel free to drive as long and fast as you can without sleeping. Jimmy Dale will be in charge of providing the vehicles and supplies for the trip he will also determine the winner.

Looks up from the will.

LAWYER

I want to leave the earth knowing my two sons did something good for someone that needed it. Final words to my sons, stop thinking about yourselves for once.

Glances back to the will.

LAWYER

This contest starts the day after hearing my will. Good luck boys and may the road be your wisdom.

RANDALL

Dad thought we needed to help the needy.

DERRICK

That doesn't sound like him.

RANDALL

Guess I’m going to have to get my riding gloves back on.

Randall (45 years old) - tall chunky unshaven man in his forties.

DERRICK

Consider it all mine. I’m going to whip your ass like always.

Derrick (42 years old) - smaller but, dressed in the same white trash fashion.

LAWYER

I expect You’ll both be getting a packet in the mail tomorrow or something. Your father was very specific in his instructions. He has this competition planned out to the T.

RANDALL

I don’t know were he gets off calling us lazy. Hell, I’ve been a door greater at Wally World part time now for the past five years. At least I’m standing. Hell, all he did was sit on his ass and drive shit somewhere.

DERRICK

Yeah, forty years. Don’t talk about our father like that. Besides couldn't handle being a trucker.

RANDALL

I hate it but, i did it for two years just to make him happy. What the fuck do you care? He used to beat you anyway.

Derrick looks down and scratches his head speechless.

DERRICK

Dad could be a fucking asshole but, he meant well. Now he wants to test us. He wants to see how bad we want his stuff.

Randall moves to the door.

RANDALL

Well, if it all has to go to someone I guess it ought to go to me. I’m the oldest.

DERRICK

Bullshit! I took more beatings from him than you did so, I think it ought go to me.

Randall points at Derrick.

RANDALL

Screw you! You deserved those beatings. If you hadn't of been such a dumb ass you wouldn't have gotten smacked as much.

Derrick looks furious.

DERRICK

He used to smack me for eating too much meat loaf, drinking the last of the milk, or one for holding one of his donuts too long.

RANDALL

Cause your a fat ass.

The two begin to slap at each other. The lawyer presses play on a vcr.

MR SPIT (V.O.)

Knock it off you shit heads and pay attention.

DERRICK

Dad?

Derrick and Randall’s father is addressing his two sons from a camera beside the hospital bed.

MR SPIT

Your two lazy bums that I’ve supported my whole life and not once have I seen the two of you do anything good for anyone other than yourselves. Hell! I’m dying in the hospital and I’m still waiting on that coffee the two of you were supposed to bring me five hours ago.

RANDALL

We had to brew it.

MR SPIT

Your whole life I have been sending you checks. My hard earned Money to support your habits and god knows what else. Now what do I have to show for it?

DERRICK

Two sons that love you.

Mr SPIT

Don’t you say two sons that love you. I know you just love money. You two boys are too selfish to love anyone other than yourselves. The sad thing is you two are just up the street somewhere at a bar getting drunk on my money. While I’m dying in this hospital.

RANDALL

What night did he film this.

MR SPIT

I have supported you this long because, I felt bad for beating the shit out of you when yall were younger. But, now your spoiled brats not men. I failed to raise you right in life so hopefully through my death you will learn to stand tall. I don’t know why you boys stopped driving trucks.

DERRICK

Cuz it sucked

MR SPIT

You’ve been driving my rig since you boys were five. You are going to take the one good thing I know I taught you and thats hitn the road.

DERRICK

Stand Tall! That was his favorite movie.

MR SPIT

That’s why I want you boys to compete for my last dime. I want to know if you two knuckle heads can find a home for over a million toys and canned foods. Jimmy Dale and I have been gathering for the past year over a million canned goods. That food needs to go to the starving family’s that deserve it. If at anytime during this contest you break the rules or do something other than what Jimmy Dale tells you than he gets it all. Now he’d rather see it go to one of my sons. The one that works the hardest for his fathers treasures. Now go to bed because this shit starts tomorrow.

The screen goes to black.

LAWYER

Well, there you have it guys that was your dad god rest his soul.

MR SPIT

And one more thing. Don’t be afraid to live before you die. Sometimes I wish I had just left your mother and taken some acid on a beach with some mexican prostitute. Guess there’s always heaven.

Mr. Spit smiles and fades into a picture of angles sitting on clouds.

RANDALL

Well I don’t know about you Derrick but, if dad thought we were two losers maybe we were.

Randall stands up.

RANDALL

If this is what he wants as his final wish I aim to let him down.

DERRICK

You aim not to let him down.

RANDALL

First thing I’m going to do is win this thing. I’m going to win this damn contest and you mark my words. Your fancy ass degree from that computer school don’t mean shit now. Cause, we driving now brother. You know I’ve been on the road longer than you. Don’t forget who Dad taught how to drive first.

DERRICK

Just cause your a year older than me don’t mean a god damn thing. I can run a rig better than you. I’m going to prove it and win that inheritance. Randall you aint shit and you never been shit. At least I have kids. A woman would’nt fuck you if you were the last man on earth and she was the last woman alive and she was about to die.

RANDALL

First off you may have accomplished more in your life and women admire and respect you but, that doesn't mean nothing now. When I win Dad’s stuff I’m moving down to Mexico. There I’m going to buy a whore from an abusive pimp and show her what true love is. We will have a small family and live on the beach somewhere. I see it in my head clear as day!

Randall moves around the Lawyers office with built up rage.

DERRICK

Now As far as the competition goes, we going to see don’t you worry about that. If this thing starts tomorrow you can bet I’m going to be up there at Jimmy Dale’s seeing what the damn deal is.

RANDALL

You can expect a challenge.

DERRICK

You know what I’m kinda glad dad did this. It’s going to give me a chance to finally prove to him who’s the better son.

RANDALL

Well I hope you get some rest fucker cuase it’s on now.

DERRICK

Shits been on Randall.

Randall walks out the door.

DERRICK

It’s been on our entire lives.

Derrick looks at the Lawyer who is eating a sandwich.

LAWYER

You boys have some serious issues with your father. I know a great therapist that might be able to help.

DERRICK

I don’t know what it is my father has planned but, I’m going to win. That’s what I always do.

EXT. DOUBLE WIDE TRAILER- DAY

Text: Twenty years ago.

Two boys, Randall (12 years old) - and Derrick (10 years old) - play football in the front yard with their father.

DERRICK

Touchdown!

Randall screams in agony as Derrick dances his father runs up to hi five him.

DERRICK

You just can’t run as fast as me. I’m seven touch downs ahead of you Randall just forget it. This games in the bag.

RANDALL

No!

Randall hits himself on the head extremely hard seven times.

MR SPIT

Your just killing your brain cells boy you need those.

RANDALL

I don’t care I’m a dumbass anyways. I’m tired of losing.

DERRICK

Why your getting so good at it.

Derrick dances around his brother.

MR SPIT

Alright boys lets take a break.

INT. DOUBLEWIDE TRAILER- DAY

The two brothers are sitting in the trailer living room. Their father comes in and turns off the tv.

DERRICK

Dad come on.

MR SPIT

What did you just say to me.

Derrick looks at the floor terrified as his father eyes him.

I’ve had enough of those fucking cartoons. The news is about to come on.

The boys start to walk out of the room sulking.

MR SPIT

Get back here. I want yall to play a game.

Their father holds up a jalapeño.

MR SPIT

Whoever can eat a whole one of these and go the longest without water is the toughest and deserves the most respect.

The boys walk towards the Jalepeno.

MR SPIT

Oh it’s its hot. This is how you prove your a man. Remember boys if you think it aint hot hard enough you can make it true.

The boys are writhing in agony as their father laughs hysterically.

MR SPIT

You did’nt think it would be that hot did ya.

DERRICK

Water!

MR SPIT

What you want your brother to beat you.

Randall’s got his hand in his mouth.

MR SPIT

Randall get your hand out of your mouth. Your trying to cheat and drink your sweat.

Randall runs to the kitchen sink and dips his head under the faucet. He starts to drink the water. Derrick follows him.

MR SPIT

You two are the biggest pussies. Sometimes you make ashamed. It’s like I have two girls.

INT. DERRICK’S ROOM- MORNING

A long loud horn wakes Derrick up in his bed. He opens the front door and Parked in the drive way is a large eighteen wheeler.

JIMMY DALE

Wake your ass up

Jimmy Dale, and older man wearing wranglers and boots, jumps down from the truck and pulls up his pants.

DERRICK’S DRIVEWAY- MORNING

DERRICK

My neighbors can’t get out.

JIMMY DALE

What?

Jimmy Dale puts his hand around his ear as if he can’t hear.

DERRICK

Your blocking in my neighbrs.

JIMMY DALE

Fuck them.

DERRICK

I’m sorry what?

JIMMY DALE

Your father just died and your worried about some fucking neighbors. You know our dad was so ashamed of you boys that he wanted to give me everything but, I said it just wouldn't be right not to at least give you two a chance to do some good. Now listen I’m going to tell your brother here in the next half hour. I expect to see both of yall at my transport dock ready to rig up by noon.

NEIGHBOR

Hey! Your Parked on my lawn!

Jimmy Dale just ignores her and continues talking to Derrick.

JIMMY DALE

Your father’s stuff was worth well over a million dollars. He has alot of antiques plus the rig alone has custom mods all over it. It’s the best damn rig I’ve ever seen.

The neighbor approaches Jimmy Dale.

NEIGHBOR

Who do you think you are sir?

Jimmy Dale whips around and punches the woman in the nose.

JIMMY DALE

I’m Jimmy Dale bitch and nobody runs up on me like that with a knife in their hands. You see that boy one punch knock out.

Derrick is on his knees checking his neighbors pulse.

DERRICK

She didn't even have a knife Jimmy.

JIMMY DALE

It’s Jimmy Dale mother fucker don’t forget the Dale.

He whips out a knife from his pocket and puts it in the woman’s hand.

DERRICK

What the fuck did you just do?

JIMMY DALE

First rule of truck driver school always carry a knife. Or, have you forgotten your training?

DERRICK

I remember truck driving school put nobody is going to believe this. She still has a pulse and if she does’nt wake up in the next hour here husband comes home from his night shift and he will see her laying here. Man you did’nt have to do this Jimmy Dale.

JIMMY DALE

Relax you just worry about the competition I’ll have this bitch.

Jimmy Dale picks up the neighbor and starts to drag her to his truck.

DERRICK

Are you going to take her to the hospital.

JIMMY DALE

Right after I take her to the woods and burry her.

DERRICK

Please don’t do that.

JIMMY DALE

Well you said it yourself. No one would belive me.

DERRICK

Thats not true Jimmy Dale they would you just need to cut yourself to make it more believable.

JIMMY DALE

I’m not cutting myself but, your right. I need to make it look like there was a struggle.

He picks her up and begins to act as if she is attacking him. He makes her limp hand slowly start to poke him with the knife then drops her body back down.

JIMMY DALE

You just don’t be late.

Jimmy dale hops back in his truck and drives off knocking down some mailboxes in the road.

EXT. ROAD- DAY

Jimmy Dale is standing beside and eighteen wheeler. He points at the Camera.

JIMMY DALE

Hi I’m Jimmy Dale, President and owner of Dale moving company. Here at Dale Transport you can trust us to move the most weight at the fastest rate. If you find someone better I’ll shave my mustache. I’ve had this mustache for twenty years and I don’t intend on shaving it for anyone.

Jimmy touches his mustache.

INT. JIMMY DALE’S OFFICE- NOON

Jimmy Dale hits stop on the vcr and looks at Randall and Derrick.

JIMMY DALE

What do you think?

DERRICK

It was great. I didn't know your mustache was that old.

JIMMY DALE

I don’t shave my beard or my balls for no one but, my x wife made me get a Brazilian wax every four months and I’ve never been able to grow a full beard.

RANDALL

I have a Mr. Belvidear.

DERRICK

What’s that.

RANDALL

It’s a butler mustache right above your penis. I shave it all but the Belvidear.

JIMMY DALE

Butler mustache, what the hell does that mean?

RANDALL

I means its sophisticated.

JIMMMY DALE

Listen Boys. I got two rigs the ones you boys were driving when you were eighteen. You thought you were too good to follow in your father foot steps now look at you. Don’t forget boys driving is in your blood it’s what your born to do.

DERRICK

When do we start?

JIMMY DALE

Now.

RANDALL

I can’t start now. I have kids.

JIMMY DALE

That slut you called a wife left you and took the kids. Your dad told me he’s been paying your child support and both of your rents for the better part of his life. You two are lazy and if you think you are going to weasel out of your fathers last dying wish you got another thing coming. I’ll keep that inheritance. I’ll feel nice about it too.

JIMMY DALE

The rules are in an envelope sitting on your passenger seat. It’s time for you boys to saddle back up and get ready to haul again.

RANDALL

Listen I can’t drive again my class C expired years ago.

JIMMY DALE

We’ll get you a fake one. Listen if you think for once you can pussy out of this I’ll give everything to your brother. That goes for you too derrick. Don’t fuck with me boys or both of yall will get nothing. Your father made that clear in his will.

DERRICK

Alright if it starts today it fucking starts today.

JIMMY DALE

That’s more like it. Derrick your rig is in the south lot. It’s fueled up and ready to ride. Here.

Jimmy Dale tosses Derrick a pair of keys.

DERRICK

Alright I’m gearing up see you in a different time zone.

JIMMY DALE

Now are you going to grow some balls like you brother.

RANDALL

I’m starting to wonder if Dad’s shit is worth all of this.

JIMMY DALE

It’s not about your fathers shit. It’s about beating your brother. Your going to just sit back and let him show you up. I know your father would have wanted you do this not for him or his stuff but for the the needy families that will benefit from the need food and supplies you guys will be delivering. Hell this is a charity gig Randall. Why don’t you stop thinking about yourself for once.

Jimmy Dale tosses a pair of keys to Randall. The keys hit the ground.

RANDALL

I just can't do this.

JIMMY DALE

Damn it Randy the pansy. Are you telling me your going to let your father down.

RANDALL

I’m sorry dad I haven't driven in so long. I just don’t know if I can.

Jimmy Dale stares at Randall furiously. Randall drops to his knees.

JIMMY DALE

Pick those keys up and do what you were born to do. Your father did’nt raise no pussy boy. Be a man!

Derrick drives by in his eighteen wheeler.

DERRICK

Looks like your just going to hand it all over to me.

Randall picks up the keys and looks over at his brother.

RANDALL

I haven't forgot what it’s like to lose.

Derrick laughs and drives off.

JIMMY DALE

Good luck.

Randall looks at Jimmy Dale.

RANDALL

It’s on.

Randall stands up and starts walking he picks up speed.

EXT. PARKING LOT- DAY

Randall chirps an alarm on a large eighteen wheeler truck.

INT. RANDALL’S RIG- DAY

Randall takes a deep breath and cranks up his rig. The large truck roars and Randall flips on his CB unit.

RANDALL

What?

Randall picks up an envelope and opens it. He pulls out a sheet of paper and a tape.

He then inserts the tape and the sheet of paper is a picture of the boys beside their father’s truck several years ago.

JIMMY DALE (V.O.)

Alright your mission is clear. It’s not about the speed or quickness of your driving. Well shit, I guess it is a little. We need you boys to make stops in forty eight states in the U. S. of A. All in about two weeks. At each drop point you will receive another load for the next stop. As you travel from city to city it is real important that you keep a low profile and get plenty of rest. We are channel four and you can fill in the rest. You got two smokey’s and two bandits. They will be clearing up the road and letting you ride free. You know you boys did good for doing this for your Paw. Don’t get ahead of yourself now boys. Don’t lose the real reason your doing this. It’s not for the inheritance, it’s for the road and the memories of your Paw. Well see you boys when you return may the best brother win.

Randall pulls out a picture of his dad and kisses it then sticks it on the glass by the speedometer.

Randall turns the keys and the giant truck roars.

He flips the switch to turn his CB on.

DERRICK (V.O.)

Whoo hoo! Big digger Derrick here on the waves. I’m just checking to see if my pussy as brother decided to grow a pair.

RANDALL

This is Road House wheel hands Randall letting his older brother know he’s got a ways to go before he can start talking shit.

JIMMY DALE (V.O.)

Maybe we should just get the sleep hours straight right now. I want you to get 8 hours a day. You can sleep at the drop points. Nap for an hour then get to the next drop. Remember these kids and starving and need this supplies.

RANDALL

I read you Jimmy Dale. Over.

EXT. RANDALL’S RIG- DAY

Randall heads down the highway.

RANDALL

This be raw dawg Randall on the mike who’s the beef?

Randall adjusts his chair and other knobs in the truck.

SMOKEY

Smokey on the mic. give me beef but, I’d rather have a beer.

HITCHER- The lot lizard doesnt think about love boy. She don't care about that sorta thing. See who you dealing with to is a straight up slut puppy. They aint got feelings like us boy. We are hopeless romantics and they are smart predators. It aint the god damn 1950s boy wake up. There aint no virtuous sex. It's just a fuck and shes got another twenty hard cocks waiting on her cell phone. This girl is living in the 21st century and knows how to get money. She's going to get what she wants till her inner clock tells her somehow that its time to slow cuz shes not quite the fuck machine she used to be. Then it pays to be the richest guy in town or in this case the nicest rig on the lot. Ain't no love like a Lot Lizard's tongue.

RANDALL

Dan ya think you could tag along sorta ride upstate with me I mean I just dont know the terrain as well as you. Plus Im bored and could use the chat.

CHEIF DAN

I’ll ride seven miles ahead of you and sniff out any cheap rats.

CHEIF DAN

I’ve been driving that truck for forty years now. Don’t make me no mind. I love the smell of the road. Plus the lizard dick is needs out of it’s cage

Michael believe of a study driving and talking 80 seats for the Taz every day when the fingers crossed paint smell the seats turned on their big Reagan listen to that tangle our always been about 25 years on the road is 25 years among so Smoky Mountains appellation Arizona desert redwood forest and a whole lot of that visit was

Randall -- did you ever see her again who want G. know Topeka

chief day -- sure didn't I already had one day in outside and it was raining missiles on one hop from trucker truck might've been Clinton remembered with Shea

tags she seen me she she would've noticed and I think the best thing would've been for her to walk a little way chief Dan starts to cry

Randall -- how long was she looking

Chief dan-I I noticed scribble on the bathroom walls Sammy Steve Topeka may not stand now know when she did not know it wasn't that long ago she set up their children from trunk to trunk somewhere might have been

Randall -- doesn't it ever since you knowing that she's making love to so many men who would just use their and never truly know her lover like you

chief day -- of course my man knows the wind is like a woman it feels good but never masks and breeze can blow off many masks and the everyone wears a mask we had on different masks we still wet different masks what's my mask

Randall -- it's probably some kind of red with black under the eyes

chief day in tunnel thing so son there is more yellow and blue in the eyes of nine year backbone

Randall -- was that mean

chief in -- means you got good but you got gold in your eyes

Randall -- everybody does it just

Chief Dan-I've learned shes out of my league now and we just where different masks now. She doesn't like my mask I cant take it off. It's the only one I got.

Randall-do you still think you see her a gain.

Cheif Dan

CHEIF DAN

I did’nt mean to tickle your balls boy just that this road starts to bring up all these memories.

DERRICK

I know what you mean. Seems like yesterday I was hurting real bad for some cash.

Derrick looks into the distance and drops the mic.

DERRICK

Honey I told you to iron my shirts or the interview won’t go well.

DERRICK’S WIFE

Sorry I was cheating on you with two other guys at the same time.

DERRICK

What do you mean?

DERRICK’S WIFE

I was smoking crack out of this pipe. At the same time plugging all three of my holes. Bla!

She opens her mouth.

Derrick drops to the floor and cries.

DERRICK

What about our fucking kid.

DERRICK’S WIFE

It may or may not be yours. I had it killed either way.

Derrick crawls on the floor to her knees.

DERRICK

Why?

DERRICK’S WIFE

I don’t know it what I need.

Pulls out a crack pipe and lights it.

DERRICK

You smoke crack?

She coughs.

DERRICK’S WIFE

Sure do. I also have some std’s I must have picked up from last months facebook orgy. You now have them too.

DERRICK

I noticed my penis burns when I pee.

DERRICK’S WIFE

That’s just the beginning. Oh and, my two front teeth they are fake.

Pulls out her two front teeth and smiles at him.

DERRICK

I still love you.

DERRICK’S WIFE

Your so pathetic just leave I’m expecting someone over in an hour.

DERRICK

I’m not going to leave you. In fact I’m going to prove to you how much of a man I am.

DERRICK’S WIFE

Oh yeah, and how is your broke jobless ass going to do that.

DERRICK

I’m going to be a truck driver.

DERRICK’S WIFE

Great and how is your broke jobless ass going to do that?

DERRICK

My daddy’s going to teach me how to drive aqnd you will see how much money I make and then you will come back to me.

DERRICK’S WIFE

Doubt it you disgust me.

DERRICK

Not when you see me pull up in that big orange eighteen wheeler.

INT. DERRICK’S RIG- DAY

He snaps back to reality.

DERRICK

This truck is too small to hold me right now. I need to step outside.

CHEIF DAN

Its probably the strongest shrooms I’ve ever gotten.

The rig pulls over and Derrick gets out.

CHEIF DAN

Just find your center son.

DERRICK

Dad! I will win your stuff.

CHEIF DAN

You will.

DERRICK

I will.

of course of course of course open to dissuade someone to so many in his and done yet he still good a lot of men and use it in your balls can only swell so they force up an Xbox and Xbox

RANDALL

You need a divorce.

DERRICK

Everytime i think about leaving here i shutter. I don’t think I’ll make it without her.

RANDALL

There are plenty of white trash women with std’s and wounded uteruses from botched abortions. Trust me you’ll find better.

DERRICK

No I won’t. Gad put a baby that was half me in her stomach.

RANDALL

And she killed it. That doesn't mean your love’s forever. That means you made the wrong choice. That happens in life.

DERRICK

No it doesn't. Not with me.

EXT. POLICE BARRICADE- DAY

Police cars are lined up with armed officers by their doors.

OFFICER

Alright he’s coming up now a mile away, lay out the spiked track.

MR SPIT

Don’t worry when he sees his father he will stop.

INT. DERRICK’S RIG- DAY

Cheif Dan is waving medicine smoke infront of Derrick who is now balls deep in his acid trip.

DERRICK

I will take my destiny in my own hands no longer will I be number two.

CHEIF DAN

Can you see the sun rising off the shore? It is you.

DERRICK

It’s an oasis. A mirrage.

CHEIF DAN

Your just tripping. Quite being a pussy and win your fathers shit.

DERRICK

It’s my shit!

DERRICK’S WIFE

It’s your shit.

DERRICK

Them are my kids.

DERRICK’S WIFE

They are your children Derrick they love you and respect you the same way I do and always will.

DERRICK

I knew you’d see me the way I am.

DERRICK’S WIFE

Your all I think about. Your my lover and you are the only one.

DERRICK

I was right.

DERRICK’S WIFE

You where right.

CHIEF DAN

Keep going. They are haters.

DERRICK

I’m winning I’m the leader!

Derrick has a Hitler mustache as the truck turns into his stadium.

MR SPIT

Derrick Stop I’m alive.

Cop cars line up along the desert highway.

CHEIF DAN

It’s a trick, win it.

Cheif Dan turns into a devil.

DERRICK’S WIFE

Your brother is trying to catch up with you.

DERRICK

It’s my Dad!

DERRICK’S WIFE

Keep going its a mirage!

The kids are in her arms.

DERRICK’S SON

Your the greatest dad in the world.e

Derricks tears up.

MR SPIT

Derrick for gods sake slow the truck down your heading tot

POLICE CHIEF

He’s going to hit the track. Boys get it off safety aim for the tires and try not to blow out the gas tanks. 5432 shoot shoot! He driving that puppy to hard.

The truck barrels past the tracks and they blow it you.

DERRICK’S WIFE

Oasis!

DERRICK’S SON

Mirage.

Khjlk the the only way to roll home.

DERRICK’S WIFE

Roll home to Garden of eden.

Police cars fly every which way as the explosions rock the truck on its side.

DERRICK

Oh Shit!

Suddenly Derrick is on his side flying down the highway at about a hundred miles and hour.

POLICE CHIEF

Every body get back The tanks been hit its going to blow.

RANDALL

Derrick get out of the truck. I know you can make it buy.

Derrick crawls out the cab and steps down from it.

DERRICK

This has been one hell of a mirage.

RANDALL

He’s alive!

Derrick starts to light his cigarette

POLICE CHIEF

He’s going to set it on fire.

The police wave at him and derrick act like he doesnt hear.

DERRICK

To think I though you were dead.

He flick the ash.

POLICE CHIEF

Get back its going to blow.

The tanks blow up derrick goes flying head first and the cargo goes up in flames.

POLICE CHIEF

Get back men the smoke it full of toxic Drugs.

A thick gust of smoke consumes derrick where he is standing.

DERRICK

Am I still triping?

POLICE CHIEF

Give me a gas mask.

He rips off his shirt and covers his face with it.

POLICE CHEIF

I’m going in.

DERRICK

Fuck you!

POLICE OFFICER

Hold your fire.

The Police chief wrestles derrick down but, the smoke proves to be too much.

POLICE CHIEF

HA! What the fuck are we fighting for? All the evidence is being destroyed.

Derrick sits on the curb looking up at the sunlight.

MR SPIT

You did well boy. I’m proud of you. All the needed supplies. The toys for children the sweaters to keep them warm at night. I failed you father.

MR SPIT

It’s ok boy don’t worry it was just weed in the truck. I mean the kids will get the food and sweater to keep the warm and warm chilli in the stomach to keep them from getting hungry. Not al was lost boy. Just let it burn.

DERRICK

No I failed.

MR SPIT

Your the best son.

RANDALL

You fucking lost! The Big Rig is mine.

MR SPIT

You did the best you could.

DERRICK

I just wanted to live up to your last name.

MR SPIT

And you did. And you did son. If there is anything left you have it all. You deserve it best.

DERRICK

Hit me.

Randall hits Derrick in the face the spits on him.

MR SPIT

Thats a little excessive isnt it Randall.

RANDALL

Yes but you said he won. What did he win?

MR SPIT

Well I’m not dead so none of yall get shit. But when I’m daed you definitely going to give more to your brother and you know derrick you proved you had real balls toady so what the hell Im giving you The Big Rig.

POLICE CHIEF

The Big Rig is mine to cover the damages you just did to my cars.

The cops pants are down with his finger pointing like a gun.

POLICE OFFICER

I think you have been standing in the smoke too long.

POLICE CHIEF

What do you mean I have the suspect in custody but i lost my keys so cuff him.

POLICE OFFICER 1

The drugs in the fog has altered his mind just go along with it.

The police officer grabs at the air infront of the police cheif.

POLICE CHIEF

Kick him in the balls if he resists.

DERRICK

I love you Dad.

MR SPIT

Don’t say that shit in public with people around but yeah boy i feel the same way but not so gay about it.

DERRICK

Sorry sir.

MR SPIT

Lets get out of here.

DERRICK

Have you seen my wife.

RANDALL

You must be high off your ass. I wouldn't call someone my wife just because you married her at a love truck stop with aluminum dragon rings and she fucked someone right before the wedding. How does it feel to fuck a worn out bag on your wedding night. I’m sure you had no problem carrying her to the back of your truck because she was so strung out on herion.

Jimmy Dale pulls up in a fire bird.

JIMMY DALE

You are free take my car Im going to confess to it all. It was all my idea I’m giving up.

RANDALL

Whoop whoop ill take that.

DERRICK

Im driving.

Mr Spit hops in the back and Derrick grabs the keys.

POLICE CHEIF

Where did they go?

The smoke starts to clear.

JIMMY DALE

I confess to running this whole operation.

POLICE CHIEF

Who the fuck are you? Where are my men?

The Police officers are all tripping in there own worlds.

POLICE OFFICER 1

That’s right two large peperoni pizzas. Oh yeah and put mushroms on them.

POLICE CHIEF

What the hell am I still here for?

A woman with purple hair pulls up in a corvette.

JIMMY DALE

Queen Moma! What are you doing here?

QUEEN MOMA

Do you think I was going to let my main pusher fall down to the man. Fuck them pigs hop in my ride bitch boy.

Jimmy Dale Jumps in the Queens red corvette and takes off down the highway.