Foot Models (slightly revised teaser)

FOOT MODELS

A screenplay written by Jacob Jones and Jeremy Beall

readfuriously@gmail.com

Aggressiveliterature@ymail.com and

Copywritten November 19, 2008

EXT. CITY SIDEWALK - MORNING

Music in: Upbeat disco rhythm.

A pair of fine dress shoes and slacks chop back and forth.

Ryan, an extremely overweight and arrogant male in his late twenties, talks on his blue tooth while drinking a frappuccino, eating a donut, and smoking a cigarette.

RYAN

(loud) I don’t have time for this. There’s no way I can squeeze in any charity work. When homeless people start paying my bills I’ll start serving them food.

Ryan walks down the side walk and approaches a street corner. As he passes the corner of a building an elderly woman rolls over his foot with a wheel chair.

Music out: Upbeat disco rhythm.

RYAN

(panic) Holy shit!

He screams and throws the wheel chair off his foot. The old woman flies out of the chair.

Ryan picks up his right foot and starts taking photos with his cell phone.

RYAN

What’s your name and where do you live? I’m going to need proof of insurance on that wheel chair. (holding his foot) I might have to rehab this foot.

WHEEL CHAIR LADY

Fuck your foot fat boy! What about me?

RYAN

Your too old to be driving that yourself. You shouldn't be behind those wheels, someone should be pushing you...

Ryan takes a drag from his cigarette.

RYAN

You know what... fuck it. Your probably rolling without insurance any ways.

Ryan takes a sip from his frappuccino and gathers himself.

Music in: Upbeat disco rhythm.

A look of self righteousness devours his demeanor as he proceeds down the sidewalk.

POV. THROUGH A LUXURY SKY RISE WINDOW - MOMENTS LATER

Deen, a sweaty obese male in his late twenties, jogs on a treadmill.

INT. SKY RISE APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS

Still jogging he takes a drink of water while reading the bible. His treadmill alerts him that the work out is over.

He grabs his water bottle taking a drink as he steps off the treadmill.

INT. HALLWAY - MORNING

As he strolls down the hallway several cheesy and unflattering pictures of him and his grandma line the wall.

INT. LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Ryan exits the kitchen holding a tub of hot water and random skin treatment bottles.

Taking the nearby towel he blots off the sweat from in between his manicured toes.

He then uses the same towel to dry off the line of sweat that runs down his butt. Without consideration of thought he takes the now completely wet towel to clean off his face.

He exhaustively takes a seat on a black leather couch and turns the T.V. on.

EXT. CITY SIDE WALK - MORNING

Ryan still strutting down the sidewalk talking on his blue tooth.

RYAN

I want to get into a new style of modeling. I just don’t know what.

STEPHAN (O.S.)

What new field are you talking about?

RYAN

Back modeling... Hello?

EXT. POOL SIDE - CONTINUOUS

Stephan, a high profile back of the head model, sits in a lawn chair with a drink in hand. The view of the back of his head is so profound and breath taking it demands to be seen at all times.

STEPHAN

No. no. no. I’m here. I was just having a deep thought.

EXT. CITY SIDEWALK - CONTINUOUS

RYAN

Hold on a second I’m getting a BEEP.

Ryan takes his right hand and pushes on his blue tooth to switch lines.

RYAN

Hello.

INT. MARV’S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

Marv’s assistant, a hot blonde, is sitting behind an expensive desk with her feet propped on the top of it.

MARV’S ASSISTANT

Marv told me to call and remind you about you and your brothers’ meeting this morning.

RYAN

Yeah I’m on my way.

INT. MARV’S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

MARV’S ASSISTANT

Should I call your brother and remind him or do you think he’ll remember.

EXT. CITY SIDE WALK - CONTINUOUS

He exhales the final collection of smoke.

RYAN

(arrogant) The hell if I know, I don’t keep up with him. (He thoughtlessly flicks the cigarette in to a baby stroller.)

Smoke rings are puffed one by one from the stroller.

EXT. DEEN’S CONDO HALLWAY - MOMENTS LATER

Deen stands waiting on the elivatore to respond. During his short wait his stomach starts to turn. A noise comes from his gut as he touches his self to ease the pain.

The elivatore indicator shows it’s only three levels away from his floor.

DEEN

(his facial expression becomes more intense) I’m not gonna make it!

He turns and quickly walks back in the direction of his condo door. The elivatore DINGS and the doors open.

He struggles to make the decision to either proceed to the meeting or go to the rest room. He glances at his wrist watch.

DEEN

You can do it!

He walks back to the elivatore opening to find several beautiful women crammed inside. He hesitates but eventually joins the stunning crowd.

As he stands directly in the center, his skin looks moist as he nervously anticipates the landing. On the way down his face becomes strained.

DEEN

(he whispers to himself) Don’t do it... (closes his eye) Be a team player...

A long high pitch fart consumes the elivatore. His eye’s enlarge. He turns and looks at one of the hot females.

HOT FEMALE 1

...Sorry...

The other females giggle and cover their noses. He looks deep into the embarrassed girls eyes and lets out his potent aroma.

HOT FEMALE 2

What the fuck!!!

Deen looks around stunned as if he was expecting the same humored response.

HOT FEMALE 3 (O.S.)

Smells like baby shit.

The elevator doors open and the women pour out holding their noses. Deen looks around innocently and covers his nose.

Deen approaches the front doors to the building. He exists first and holds the door open for a young woman. She ignores his selfless token.

Rose, an older, well dressed women steps out of a limousine and approaches the door where Deen is standing. She observes the young woman’s response to Deen’s gentleman gesture.

ROSE

Why don’t you think that nice young man. You know chivalry is almost dead because of girls like you.

The embarrassed young woman turns around and walks up to Deen.

EMBARRASSED WOMAN

I’m sorry that was wrong of me.

The woman reaches into her purse and pulls out a card.

EMBARRASSED WOMAN

This is my number. I’m free this weekend. I would like to buy you a drink.

Deen, stunned from her compliance, accepts the card.

DEEN

(stuttering) Sure sounds great.

DEEN and ROSE stand side by side as the EMBARRASSED WOMEN disappears amongst the people traveling back and forth on the busy sidewalk.

After the EMBARRASSED WOMEN wonders away, ROSE and DEEN bump fist.

ROSE

I wouldn’t waste your time.

DEEN

(still holding the door open) Why she was beautiful?

ROSE

It looks like she sleeps in a tanning bed, and that blonde hair is so 90’s. (She picks a piece of lint from his shirt) She’s to superficial, and that’s not what my Deenie baby needs.

DEEN

Are we still on for X-BOX...?

ROSE

Halo?

DEEN

Winner gets a foot rub.

ROSE

(seductive) Hope I lose. (waving her fingers as she enters the building)

INT. MARV’S OFFICE - DAY

Ryan sits in a as the secretary sits behind the desk with her feet propped on top.

SECRETARY

Thank you for calling “Better Looking Then You Modeling”... No I’m sorry, Marv’s in a meeting right now, can I take a message?

Ryan sits directly in front of the secretary’s desk. He leans over in his seat to sneak a glimpse down the secretary’s skirt.

SECRETARY

I will be sure to tell him.

He is pleased in what he is seeing. The secretary notices him looking down her skirt. She looks at him as if he’s pathetic and places her feet on the ground.

Ryan grins at her and readjusts his neck tie. Deen, out of breath and sweating, enters the office. Deen takes a seat next to Ryan while wiping the sweat from his forehead.

The doors to the bosses office swing open. Marv, a short fat Italian agent, walks out.

MARV

(arms wide) Ryan Deen! How are my boys doing? Step into my office.

The two brothers walk into the office. Over sized windows stand behind Marv’s desk. The furniture in the room screams success.

MARV

Take a seat boys.

Deen and Ryan take a seat in rich leather wing back chairs. The foundation of the chairs are replaced with manikin legs.

On the way to his desk Marv stops at a nearby aquarium and begins to feed the fish. He takes the bottle of food and shakes it several times over the water then looks back at the brothers and gives them a slick wink.

The top to the bottle comes off spilling all the food into the aquarium.

MARV

They say not to feed them to much but, I like my fishes nice and fat.

He sits the empty fish food down and takes a seat behind his desk. Marv peers over his conjoining hands as he briefly studies Deen and Ryan.

MARV

So how’s life treating you?

Marv tries to sit still but, keeps fidgeting at an uncontrollable itch.

DEEN

Work is steady.

RYAN

The bitches keep flowing like tides on a beach.

Marv rubs his stubby thighs together with a look of pure torture on his face.

MARV

(looking up at the ceiling in relief) Fuck it.

Marv jams one hand down the front of his pants and starts violently scratching.

MARV

Don’t ever go to the message parlor on the south side of China town.

Marv looks directly at Deen.

MARV

I think they have fleas in their lotion...

Marv then looks at Ryan.

MARV

Ryan, I set up a stand in with a pornographic company. This time all they are going to need you for is a few shots of you feet and your calves. Apparently this big porn star has the legs of a twelve year old boy and the director needs a pair of sculpted man legs.

Ryan anticipates a question and raises his hand.

MARV

(shouting) Don’t start with me about your porn career. No one wants to see that shit.

RAYN

But...

MARV

Not a word shut your mouth.

Marv looks at Deen.

MARV

Deen I have been looking every where for religious based modeling and son, I just can’t find anything.

DEEN

I might have some independent work coming up.

MARV

Independent. Well, does that mean your getting paid.

DEEN

Yeah! I’m getting paid. That’s what it’s all about! Right?

RYAN

See, that’s how you can tell we are brothers because we are just about money and modeling.

MARV

That’s right. That was the modo of your mom and dad before they passed away. Come on boys I have nothing but great intentions for you. I was there the day you were born. I can remember it just like it was yesterday.

Marv looks out his giant window.

INT. HOSPITAL - DAY

A pregnant woman lies on a birthing table with her legs raised in the air.

MARV (V.O.)

Your mother was in great pain.

A doctor sits on a stool between her legs with his arms extended anticipating the birth of two twin boys.

DOCTOR

(scream) Push your doing good!

The pregnant mother screams as her beautiful husband nervously holds her hand. Marv stands on the opposite side of the bed encouraging the pregnant mother.

MARV

(with a cigarette bouncing up and down in his mouth) Come on beautiful push. I can’t wait to see those beautiful twins.

As he speaks ashes from his cigarette land on her medical gown covered shoulder.

DOCTOR

Push once more. I see the feet.

A gold light shines from the pregnant mothers crotch as a set of oily bronze baby legs protrude out into the doctors arms.

DOCTOR

(mouth open at a aghast) That’s beautiful.

The further the baby is taken out of it’s mother the more the doctors facial expressions worsen.

DOCTOR

That is the ugliest baby I have ever seen.

The doctor hands the first baby to it’s mother. The mother looks down at the baby with a look of disappointment.

DOCTOR

Push her comes the last one. (whispers to himself) Hopefully it’s not identical.

Another golden beam shoots out of the pregnant mother’s crotch. The doctor pulls out one more set of oily bronze baby legs.

DOCTOR

(nervously) We have a problem. The umbilical cord is wrapped around the baby’s neck. I’ve never had this happen. I’m not trained for this.

Marv taking charge shoves the helpless doctor out of the way.

MARV

This isn't going to happen on my watch.

Marv while still smoking his cigarette grabs the baby’s feet and pulls.

MARV

(shouting) Nurse scissors.

A pair of scissors are placed in Marv’s hands. CLIP. Marv wraps the baby in a blanket and cuddles it with the feet were the head should be.

Marv stares graciously at the child’s glorious feet and ankles.

MARV

(amazed) He’s beautiful.

INT. MARV’S OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER

A tear drops down Marv’s cheek as he continues to stare out the window.

MARV

That’s how it all began.

Deen is asleep in the chair and Ryan is texting. A loud BUZZ rings out. Deen and Ryan snap awake before Marv turns around in his chair.

SECRETARY (V.0.)

Your two o’clock appointment is here.

Marv presses a button on the phone.

MARV

Send her in.

The office doors open and Alexus, a beautiful, full body model walk towards the door.

RYAN

Sweet Jesus.

DEEN

Holy cow.

Ryan and Deen jump to their feet.

MARV

Alright boys your free to go.

She gets up and shoots a sexy smile at the brothers, then turns to Marv.

MARV

One second sweety let take care of my foot talent.

Marv starts to shove the two brothers out of his office.

MARV

(In a heavy Italian accent) Forget about her boys. She’s the real deal. A total package, full body model.

Marv looks at Deen.

MARV

Not just beautiful below the knee.

DEEN

Marv you have to introduce me.

MARV

Tell you what, I will see what I can do.

Marv escorts Ryan and Deen out of his office and closes the door behind him.

INT. PORN SHOOT - DAY

Deen’s lower legs stand behind a naked female porn star. The sound of a woman climaxing and skin slapping consumes the room.

PORN DIRECTOR

Cut!

INT. PORN SHOOT - DAY

Ryan’s saggy, droopy, and pale white back side stands fixed with the female porn star’s legs on his shoulders.

PORN DIRECTOR

Uhhm... Ryan that was great but, me myself and the producers have told you several times that we don’t need you to be naked in the shoot... We are just filming your lower legs.

RYAN

(confused)

Sorry chief I just wanted to get into the role.

The director motions to his assistant. She grabs a white bedazzling robe and carries it to Ryan.

PORN STAR (O.S.)

That’s amazing. (Well known Porn star approaches Ryan) I’ve never seen anything so rock hard visually stimulating.

Ryan’s POV. Ryan and the porn star stand face to face.

PORN STAR

(passionate) Can I touch’em? (The porn star then slowly squats towards the ground.) Can I?

Ryan stands awkwardly still not knowing what he’s talking about. The porn star grips the back of Ryan’s calves.

PORN DIRECTOR

How do you get them defined?

Porn star looks up at the cast and crew and screams.

PORN STAR

(intensely)

Do you see this? This is perfection! This is time dedication and professionalism at it’s FUCKING BEST!

The assistant walks up and hands Ryan his robe. The porn star stands up as Ryan puts on his commanding robe. The back of the robe shows an impression of a large foot.

Above the foot impression reads “Ryan’s” and beneath the impression it says “La Foot” in cursive.

PORN STAR

Can you just give me a quick tip? How do you get your calves like that?

RYAN

(prideful) Why don’t you show me what your doing wrong and I’ll correct it.

Porn star stands with his feet shoulder width apart and performs the most pitiful excuse for calve raises ever seen.

RYAN

(insulted) What the hell is this shit? Your dick has better form than you do.

PORN STAR

Show me Ryan. Just show me how.

Ryan stands like a super hero with his hands on his hips and demonstrates an elaborative double foot calve raise. He then shows his ability with a single foot calve raise.

The cast and crew gasp. Ryan corrects the porn stars form.

RYAN

(slapping the porn stars ass) Straighten your legs and back.

The porn star corrects his form at Ryan’s command.

RYAN

Put your hands on your hips and thrust upwards.

PORN STAR

I feel it.

An empowered and aggressive look sweeps across the porn stars face.

PORN STAR

I feel it. (He gives a few thrusts.) I FEEL IT!

The porn star becomes wide eyed and intense. Ryan slaps him across his face and points to the female porn star still laying on her back.

RAYN

Take what you’ve learned and beat that shit up.

Porn star turns and steps toward the table were the female porn star is waiting.

INT. CHRISTIAN PHOTO SHOOT - DAY

The lower half of a beautiful leg and foot sits wrapped in a vintage brown leather sandal on top of a rock. Flash bulbs flicker.

PHOTOGRAPHER (O.S.)

Give me a little bit of calve flex... No. No. No. Too much muscle, never mind.

Deen stands in front of a photographer and photo crew.

PHOTOGRAPHER

Ok... Now hold that pose. (final bulb flashes)... and we’re done.

Deen takes his foot of the rock. The photographer shakes Deen’s hand.

PHOTOGRAPHER

I want to thank you again Deen for doing this. We wish we could pay you but we’re barely able to put this play on, let alone advertise.

DEEN

(compassionate) Don’t worry about it. I love doing this for the church. (He looks up at a stain glass window.)

PHOTOGRAPHER

Before you leave give sister Higgins your address. I’m going to send you a framed poster of the play.

DEEN

I’ll do that on my way out.