Foot Models (slightly revised teaser)

FOOT MODELS

A screenplay written by Jacob Jones and Jeremy Beall

readfuriously@gmail.com

Aggressiveliterature@ymail.com and

Copywritten November 19, 2008

EXT. CITY SIDEWALK - MORNING

Music in: Upbeat disco rhythm.

A pair of fine dress shoes and slacks chop back and forth.

Ryan, an extremely overweight and arrogant male in his late twenties, talks on his blue tooth while drinking a frappuccino, eating a donut, and smoking a cigarette.

RYAN

(loud) I don’t have time for this. There’s no way I can squeeze in any charity work. When homeless people start paying my bills I’ll start serving them food.

Ryan walks down the side walk and approaches a street corner. As he passes the corner of a building an elderly woman rolls over his foot with a wheel chair.

Music out: Upbeat disco rhythm.

RYAN

(panic) Holy shit!

He screams and throws the wheel chair off his foot. The old woman flies out of the chair.

Ryan picks up his right foot and starts taking photos with his cell phone.

RYAN

What’s your name and where do you live? I’m going to need proof of insurance on that wheel chair. (holding his foot) I might have to rehab this foot.

WHEEL CHAIR LADY

Fuck your foot fat boy! What about me?

RYAN

Your too old to be driving that yourself. You shouldn't be behind those wheels, someone should be pushing you...

Ryan takes a drag from his cigarette.

RYAN

You know what... fuck it. Your probably rolling without insurance any ways.

Ryan takes a sip from his frappuccino and gathers himself.

Music in: Upbeat disco rhythm.

A look of self righteousness devours his demeanor as he proceeds down the sidewalk.

POV. THROUGH A LUXURY SKY RISE WINDOW - MOMENTS LATER

Deen, a sweaty obese male in his late twenties, jogs on a treadmill.

INT. SKY RISE APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS

Still jogging he takes a drink of water while reading the bible. His treadmill alerts him that the work out is over.

He grabs his water bottle taking a drink as he steps off the treadmill.

INT. HALLWAY - MORNING

As he strolls down the hallway several cheesy and unflattering pictures of him and his grandma line the wall.

INT. LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Ryan exits the kitchen holding a tub of hot water and random skin treatment bottles.

Taking the nearby towel he blots off the sweat from in between his manicured toes.

He then uses the same towel to dry off the line of sweat that runs down his butt. Without consideration of thought he takes the now completely wet towel to clean off his face.

He exhaustively takes a seat on a black leather couch and turns the T.V. on.

EXT. CITY SIDE WALK - MORNING

Ryan still strutting down the sidewalk talking on his blue tooth.

RYAN

I want to get into a new style of modeling. I just don’t know what.

STEPHAN (O.S.)

What new field are you talking about?

RYAN

Back modeling... Hello?

EXT. POOL SIDE - CONTINUOUS

Stephan, a high profile back of the head model, sits in a lawn chair with a drink in hand. The view of the back of his head is so profound and breath taking it demands to be seen at all times.

STEPHAN

No. no. no. I’m here. I was just having a deep thought.

EXT. CITY SIDEWALK - CONTINUOUS

RYAN

Hold on a second I’m getting a BEEP.

Ryan takes his right hand and pushes on his blue tooth to switch lines.

RYAN

Hello.

INT. MARV’S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

Marv’s assistant, a hot blonde, is sitting behind an expensive desk with her feet propped on the top of it.

MARV’S ASSISTANT

Marv told me to call and remind you about you and your brothers’ meeting this morning.

RYAN

Yeah I’m on my way.

INT. MARV’S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

MARV’S ASSISTANT

Should I call your brother and remind him or do you think he’ll remember.

EXT. CITY SIDE WALK - CONTINUOUS

He exhales the final collection of smoke.

RYAN

(arrogant) The hell if I know, I don’t keep up with him. (He thoughtlessly flicks the cigarette in to a baby stroller.)

Smoke rings are puffed one by one from the stroller.

EXT. DEEN’S CONDO HALLWAY - MOMENTS LATER

Deen stands waiting on the elivatore to respond. During his short wait his stomach starts to turn. A noise comes from his gut as he touches his self to ease the pain.

The elivatore indicator shows it’s only three levels away from his floor.

DEEN

(his facial expression becomes more intense) I’m not gonna make it!

He turns and quickly walks back in the direction of his condo door. The elivatore DINGS and the doors open.

He struggles to make the decision to either proceed to the meeting or go to the rest room. He glances at his wrist watch.

DEEN

You can do it!

He walks back to the elivatore opening to find several beautiful women crammed inside. He hesitates but eventually joins the stunning crowd.

As he stands directly in the center, his skin looks moist as he nervously anticipates the landing. On the way down his face becomes strained.

DEEN

(he whispers to himself) Don’t do it... (closes his eye) Be a team player...

A long high pitch fart consumes the elivatore. His eye’s enlarge. He turns and looks at one of the hot females.

HOT FEMALE 1

...Sorry...

The other females giggle and cover their noses. He looks deep into the embarrassed girls eyes and lets out his potent aroma.

HOT FEMALE 2

What the fuck!!!

Deen looks around stunned as if he was expecting the same humored response.

HOT FEMALE 3 (O.S.)

Smells like baby shit.

The elevator doors open and the women pour out holding their noses. Deen looks around innocently and covers his nose.

Deen approaches the front doors to the building. He exists first and holds the door open for a young woman. She ignores his selfless token.

Rose, an older, well dressed women steps out of a limousine and approaches the door where Deen is standing. She observes the young woman’s response to Deen’s gentleman gesture.

ROSE

Why don’t you think that nice young man. You know chivalry is almost dead because of girls like you.

The embarrassed young woman turns around and walks up to Deen.

EMBARRASSED WOMAN

I’m sorry that was wrong of me.

The woman reaches into her purse and pulls out a card.

EMBARRASSED WOMAN

This is my number. I’m free this weekend. I would like to buy you a drink.

Deen, stunned from her compliance, accepts the card.

DEEN

(stuttering) Sure sounds great.

DEEN and ROSE stand side by side as the EMBARRASSED WOMEN disappears amongst the people traveling back and forth on the busy sidewalk.

After the EMBARRASSED WOMEN wonders away, ROSE and DEEN bump fist.

ROSE

I wouldn’t waste your time.

DEEN

(still holding the door open) Why she was beautiful?

ROSE

It looks like she sleeps in a tanning bed, and that blonde hair is so 90’s. (She picks a piece of lint from his shirt) She’s to superficial, and that’s not what my Deenie baby needs.

DEEN

Are we still on for X-BOX...?

ROSE

Halo?

DEEN

Winner gets a foot rub.

ROSE

(seductive) Hope I lose. (waving her fingers as she enters the building)

INT. MARV’S OFFICE - DAY

Ryan sits in a as the secretary sits behind the desk with her feet propped on top.

SECRETARY

Thank you for calling “Better Looking Then You Modeling”... No I’m sorry, Marv’s in a meeting right now, can I take a message?

Ryan sits directly in front of the secretary’s desk. He leans over in his seat to sneak a glimpse down the secretary’s skirt.

SECRETARY

I will be sure to tell him.

He is pleased in what he is seeing. The secretary notices him looking down her skirt. She looks at him as if he’s pathetic and places her feet on the ground.

Ryan grins at her and readjusts his neck tie. Deen, out of breath and sweating, enters the office. Deen takes a seat next to Ryan while wiping the sweat from his forehead.

The doors to the bosses office swing open. Marv, a short fat Italian agent, walks out.

MARV

(arms wide) Ryan Deen! How are my boys doing? Step into my office.

The two brothers walk into the office. Over sized windows stand behind Marv’s desk. The furniture in the room screams success.

MARV

Take a seat boys.

Deen and Ryan take a seat in rich leather wing back chairs. The foundation of the chairs are replaced with manikin legs.

On the way to his desk Marv stops at a nearby aquarium and begins to feed the fish. He takes the bottle of food and shakes it several times over the water then looks back at the brothers and gives them a slick wink.

The top to the bottle comes off spilling all the food into the aquarium.

MARV

They say not to feed them to much but, I like my fishes nice and fat.

He sits the empty fish food down and takes a seat behind his desk. Marv peers over his conjoining hands as he briefly studies Deen and Ryan.

MARV

So how’s life treating you?

Marv tries to sit still but, keeps fidgeting at an uncontrollable itch.

DEEN

Work is steady.

RYAN

The bitches keep flowing like tides on a beach.

Marv rubs his stubby thighs together with a look of pure torture on his face.

MARV

(looking up at the ceiling in relief) Fuck it.

Marv jams one hand down the front of his pants and starts violently scratching.

MARV

Don’t ever go to the message parlor on the south side of China town.

Marv looks directly at Deen.

MARV

I think they have fleas in their lotion...

Marv then looks at Ryan.

MARV

Ryan, I set up a stand in with a pornographic company. This time all they are going to need you for is a few shots of you feet and your calves. Apparently this big porn star has the legs of a twelve year old boy and the director needs a pair of sculpted man legs.

Ryan anticipates a question and raises his hand.

MARV

(shouting) Don’t start with me about your porn career. No one wants to see that shit.

RAYN

But...

MARV

Not a word shut your mouth.

Marv looks at Deen.

MARV

Deen I have been looking every where for religious based modeling and son, I just can’t find anything.

DEEN

I might have some independent work coming up.

MARV

Independent. Well, does that mean your getting paid.

DEEN

Yeah! I’m getting paid. That’s what it’s all about! Right?

RYAN

See, that’s how you can tell we are brothers because we are just about money and modeling.

MARV

That’s right. That was the modo of your mom and dad before they passed away. Come on boys I have nothing but great intentions for you. I was there the day you were born. I can remember it just like it was yesterday.

Marv looks out his giant window.

INT. HOSPITAL - DAY

A pregnant woman lies on a birthing table with her legs raised in the air.

MARV (V.O.)

Your mother was in great pain.

A doctor sits on a stool between her legs with his arms extended anticipating the birth of two twin boys.

DOCTOR

(scream) Push your doing good!

The pregnant mother screams as her beautiful husband nervously holds her hand. Marv stands on the opposite side of the bed encouraging the pregnant mother.

MARV

(with a cigarette bouncing up and down in his mouth) Come on beautiful push. I can’t wait to see those beautiful twins.

As he speaks ashes from his cigarette land on her medical gown covered shoulder.

DOCTOR

Push once more. I see the feet.

A gold light shines from the pregnant mothers crotch as a set of oily bronze baby legs protrude out into the doctors arms.

DOCTOR

(mouth open at a aghast) That’s beautiful.

The further the baby is taken out of it’s mother the more the doctors facial expressions worsen.

DOCTOR

That is the ugliest baby I have ever seen.

The doctor hands the first baby to it’s mother. The mother looks down at the baby with a look of disappointment.

DOCTOR

Push her comes the last one. (whispers to himself) Hopefully it’s not identical.

Another golden beam shoots out of the pregnant mother’s crotch. The doctor pulls out one more set of oily bronze baby legs.

DOCTOR

(nervously) We have a problem. The umbilical cord is wrapped around the baby’s neck. I’ve never had this happen. I’m not trained for this.

Marv taking charge shoves the helpless doctor out of the way.

MARV

This isn't going to happen on my watch.

Marv while still smoking his cigarette grabs the baby’s feet and pulls.

MARV

(shouting) Nurse scissors.

A pair of scissors are placed in Marv’s hands. CLIP. Marv wraps the baby in a blanket and cuddles it with the feet were the head should be.

Marv stares graciously at the child’s glorious feet and ankles.

MARV

(amazed) He’s beautiful.

INT. MARV’S OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER

A tear drops down Marv’s cheek as he continues to stare out the window.

MARV

That’s how it all began.

Deen is asleep in the chair and Ryan is texting. A loud BUZZ rings out. Deen and Ryan snap awake before Marv turns around in his chair.

SECRETARY (V.0.)

Your two o’clock appointment is here.

Marv presses a button on the phone.

MARV

Send her in.

The office doors open and Alexus, a beautiful, full body model walk towards the door.

RYAN

Sweet Jesus.

DEEN

Holy cow.

Ryan and Deen jump to their feet.

MARV

Alright boys your free to go.

She gets up and shoots a sexy smile at the brothers, then turns to Marv.

MARV

One second sweety let take care of my foot talent.

Marv starts to shove the two brothers out of his office.

MARV

(In a heavy Italian accent) Forget about her boys. She’s the real deal. A total package, full body model.

Marv looks at Deen.

MARV

Not just beautiful below the knee.

DEEN

Marv you have to introduce me.

MARV

Tell you what, I will see what I can do.

Marv escorts Ryan and Deen out of his office and closes the door behind him.

INT. PORN SHOOT - DAY

Deen’s lower legs stand behind a naked female porn star. The sound of a woman climaxing and skin slapping consumes the room.

PORN DIRECTOR

Cut!

INT. PORN SHOOT - DAY

Ryan’s saggy, droopy, and pale white back side stands fixed with the female porn star’s legs on his shoulders.

PORN DIRECTOR

Uhhm... Ryan that was great but, me myself and the producers have told you several times that we don’t need you to be naked in the shoot... We are just filming your lower legs.

RYAN

(confused)

Sorry chief I just wanted to get into the role.

The director motions to his assistant. She grabs a white bedazzling robe and carries it to Ryan.

PORN STAR (O.S.)

That’s amazing. (Well known Porn star approaches Ryan) I’ve never seen anything so rock hard visually stimulating.

Ryan’s POV. Ryan and the porn star stand face to face.

PORN STAR

(passionate) Can I touch’em? (The porn star then slowly squats towards the ground.) Can I?

Ryan stands awkwardly still not knowing what he’s talking about. The porn star grips the back of Ryan’s calves.

PORN DIRECTOR

How do you get them defined?

Porn star looks up at the cast and crew and screams.

PORN STAR

(intensely)

Do you see this? This is perfection! This is time dedication and professionalism at it’s FUCKING BEST!

The assistant walks up and hands Ryan his robe. The porn star stands up as Ryan puts on his commanding robe. The back of the robe shows an impression of a large foot.

Above the foot impression reads “Ryan’s” and beneath the impression it says “La Foot” in cursive.

PORN STAR

Can you just give me a quick tip? How do you get your calves like that?

RYAN

(prideful) Why don’t you show me what your doing wrong and I’ll correct it.

Porn star stands with his feet shoulder width apart and performs the most pitiful excuse for calve raises ever seen.

RYAN

(insulted) What the hell is this shit? Your dick has better form than you do.

PORN STAR

Show me Ryan. Just show me how.

Ryan stands like a super hero with his hands on his hips and demonstrates an elaborative double foot calve raise. He then shows his ability with a single foot calve raise.

The cast and crew gasp. Ryan corrects the porn stars form.

RYAN

(slapping the porn stars ass) Straighten your legs and back.

The porn star corrects his form at Ryan’s command.

RYAN

Put your hands on your hips and thrust upwards.

PORN STAR

I feel it.

An empowered and aggressive look sweeps across the porn stars face.

PORN STAR

I feel it. (He gives a few thrusts.) I FEEL IT!

The porn star becomes wide eyed and intense. Ryan slaps him across his face and points to the female porn star still laying on her back.

RAYN

Take what you’ve learned and beat that shit up.

Porn star turns and steps toward the table were the female porn star is waiting.

INT. CHRISTIAN PHOTO SHOOT - DAY

The lower half of a beautiful leg and foot sits wrapped in a vintage brown leather sandal on top of a rock. Flash bulbs flicker.

PHOTOGRAPHER (O.S.)

Give me a little bit of calve flex... No. No. No. Too much muscle, never mind.

Deen stands in front of a photographer and photo crew.

PHOTOGRAPHER

Ok... Now hold that pose. (final bulb flashes)... and we’re done.

Deen takes his foot of the rock. The photographer shakes Deen’s hand.

PHOTOGRAPHER

I want to thank you again Deen for doing this. We wish we could pay you but we’re barely able to put this play on, let alone advertise.

DEEN

(compassionate) Don’t worry about it. I love doing this for the church. (He looks up at a stain glass window.)

PHOTOGRAPHER

Before you leave give sister Higgins your address. I’m going to send you a framed poster of the play.

DEEN

I’ll do that on my way out.

Devil's Escort the Novel (teaser)

One hundred and eight degrees climbs another notch expanding matter and thresholds to heat. Players do everything they can to take in natural air surrounded by metal bleachers and standing on turf in the middle of a highly polluted city. Paul, a man’s body slapped with the brain of an adolescent, looks at the digital thermometer hanging from a huge blue scoreboard. The team’s mascot, a white mustang, was painted under the temperature. Somehow, the mustang looks more like a retarded mule then the majestic wild horse it’s meant to portray. The Ponies have the worst record in the league for the past three years and one could draw the conclusion a less then authentic cartoony horse has something to do with it.

Whistles belt out short loud chirps. “Alright, stop for a fifteen second break!” Paul puts his hands over his head and slowly controls a deep breath. Players struggle to encourage other teammates hunched down huffing and puffing. Paul “come on get up let’s go guys! Two more then we’re done!” Short, rigid and hairy Coach Benet blows his whistle. “Sprint you pussies!” Spit flies out his mouth as he bites down on the whistle. “Move your asses or everyone is getting two more laps.” Benet’s face glows bright red and blood vessels swell on his throat. “I want to see you winning this year.” Players drag their feet and attempt to stay focused as heat waves ripple off the stadiums metallic chairs like over spilt gas. “Oh, ya baby I’m cold!” Sidney shivers then transforms into a wild dog. “ Ruff, ruff.” Snarling at the teams slowest runner is Coach Sidney. A Former Cowboy’s linebacker and it’s easy to see he’s the biggest man on the field. He’s got weird style but wears it well. A tall mohawk afro with three separate sized shiny necklaces that match his gold ear rings. He claps his hands chest muscles bounce and stretch the pink tank top with black tiger paws on it. “Push it! Let’s go!” Sidney runs up to the fattest lineman and slaps the linemen’s slow plump sweaty ass. The whistle gives out one long last chirp.“Alright good job, get in here.”

The team runs to circle up on Coach Benet. “Take a knee.” They snap off helmets then shoulder pads and Benet twirls a whistle around his pointer finger. He brushes down a Tom Selleck mustache resting his chin and thinking as a copper bracelet slides down his arm. The sweat and skin alchemized a visible green stain around his wrist. “All the losers and tit suckers get off my fucking field. “ The team struggles to catch wind. He points up to the thermometer. “I know it’s hot, you can take it. Right?” The team responds with a massive “yes sir.” He takes off his ten gallon straw hat. “If you caint’, go play tennis or soccer because this is a man’s sport.” Sweat drips in his eye and he doesn’t blink. “If you want to play for me, you better bust your ass!” He spits the wipes down his mustache. “Don’t cramp up. I’m tired of players having to get I.V.’s.” Paul squirts cold water on his face. “Get hydrated before practice. Drink a Gatorade right when you wake up.” He looks over at Coach Sidney who is shuffling through his fanny pack. “Coach Sidney, anything to add?” Coach Sidney steps forward cracks open a quick whiff of ammonia meant to give power lifters a head rush before throwing weight in the air. Sidney snorts in the strong scented break stick then snarling he growls at the players around him. “I’m going to bench five hundred pounds twice then hit the showers, I got swamp ass.” The team laughs. “Alright, everybody up on me let’s get in here and get a loud as fucking break.” The players enclose on Benet shoving each other as the bounce around with pure testosterone. “Break it out three. One, two, three, the team joins in Mustangs!” As the players disperse Paul picks up his helmet and shoulder pads. “Paul, come here a minute I want to talk to you.” Paul runs to the sideline where his coach stands now accompanied by Sidney and three other assistant coaches.

Paul, “Yesser?” The assistant coaches silently stare at him judging the “Boy-Man” from head to toe. Sidney looks at Benet. “Doc needs to see you.” Paul, ok, just give me a few minutes. I got to take a shower.” Benet sighs. “Why don’t you just go ahead and hustle straight to Doc’s.” Hesitantly Paul replies, “Sure.”

As instantaneous as Paul turns and jogs to the exit assistant coaches snivel spitting out chew and relentlessly shooting fast glances back and forth. An assistant coach looks at Benet.” It’s a damn shame on that’s boy family, him Losing everything on account of stupidity. I’d be mad as hell at my boy if I was his Paw…” Another assistant coach spits out a slab of chewing tobacco. “Coming home with his tail tucked between his legs.” Benet, “Come on now guys, he’s going have to get a job pumping gas somewhere.” All the coaches’ share in an elongated laugh but, Sidney slows his chuckle sooner than the rest.

The inside of Docs office is pristine. Like a commercial set for some cleaning agent. Certain books in his shelf glisten making it surreal and almost fake clean or just impeccably kept. It’s got a motif the seemingly suggests that a professional cleaner comes every hour on the hour and signs their name after having thoroughly sanitizing everything on spot. It had a verifying the comforting feeling one would come to naturally love, believe and feel safe in. Scholarly looking papers hang framed and certified on the wall behind Doc.

(Foot note 1) Doc makes up an entire lineage of trainers working in sports medicine. His father was a trainer for the Bears and his father before him a trainer for the Packers. They were all dapper men claiming wives as mere puppets to lead on straight coaches who have always hired them on their remarkably inviting personalities. Doc senior did not receive any special training nor did he go through any specific course to obtain his job. He simply gave Vince Lombardy a blow job. That brings up the question of whether mere circumstance played into a lineage of bisexual football coaches bread into the business by men that couldn’t face society’s rejection of their homosexuality. At least one could arrive at the conclusion that these coaches felt comfortable around a particular breed of men so much so they provided jobs of rank to them for three generations. Their names are Doc, Doc sr. and Doc. Jr. (back to text)

He enters Doc’ Junior’s office. Three football players and a metro sexual tennis player get the total body ice down in a whirlpool room towards the back of the complex. Paul opens the door after taking off his shoes then starts a slow walk in before being immediately greeted by Doc.

Devil's Escort the Novel (teaser)

One hundred and eight degrees climbs another notch expanding matter and thresholds to heat. Players do everything they can to take in natural air surrounded by metal stands and standing on turf. Paul, a man’s body slapped with the brain of an adolescent, looks at the digital thermometer hanging from a huge blue scoreboard. The team’s mascot, a white mustang, was painted under the temperature. Somehow, the mustang looks more like a retarded mule then the majestic wild horse it’s meant to portray. The Ponies have the worst record in the league for the past three years and one could draw the conclusion a less then authentic cartoony horse has something to do with it.

Whistles belt out short loud chirps. “Alright, stop for a fifteen second break!” Paul puts his hands over his head and slowly controls a deep breath. Players struggle to encourage other teammates hunched down huffing and puffing. Paul “come on get up let’s go guys! Two more then we’re done!” Short, rigid and hairy Coach Benet blows his whistle. “Sprint you pussies!” Spit flies out his mouth as he bites down on the whistle. “Move your asses or everyone is getting two more laps.” Benet’s face glows bright red and blood vessels swell on his throat. “I want to see you winning this year.” Players drag their feet and attempt to stay focused as heat waves ripple off the stadiums metallic chairs like over spilt gas. “Oh, ya baby I’m cold!” Sidney shivers then transforms into a wild dog. “ Ruff, ruff.” Snarling at the teams slowest runner is Coach Sidney. A Former Cowboy’s linebacker and it’s easy to see he’s the biggest man on the field. He’s got weird style but wears it well. A tall mohawk afro with three separate sized shiny necklaces that match his gold ear rings. He claps his hands chest muscles bounce and stretch the pink tank top with black tiger paws on it. “Push it! Let’s go!” Sidney runs up to the fattest lineman and slaps the linemen’s slow plump sweaty ass. The whistle gives out one long last chirp.“Alright good job, get in here.”

The team runs to circle up on Coach Benet. “Take a knee.” They snap off helmets then shoulder pads and Benet twirls a whistle around his pointer finger. He brushes down a Tom Selleck mustache resting his chin and thinking as a copper bracelet slides down his arm. The sweat and skin alchemized a visible green stain around his wrist. “All the losers and tit suckers get off my fucking field. “ The team struggles to catch wind. He points up to the thermometer. “I know it’s hot, you can take it. Right?” The team responds with a massive “yes sir.” He takes off his ten gallon straw hat. “If you caint’, go play tennis or soccer because this is a man’s sport.” Sweat drips in his eye and he doesn’t blink. “If you want to play for me, you better bust your ass!” He spits the wipes down his mustache. “Don’t cramp up. I’m tired of players having to get I.V.’s.” Paul squirts cold water on his face. “Get hydrated before practice. Drink a Gatorade right when you wake up.” He looks over at Coach Sidney who is shuffling through his fanny pack. “Coach Sidney, anything to add?” Coach Sidney steps forward cracks open a quick whiff of ammonia meant to give power lifters a head rush before throwing weight in the air. Sidney snorts in the strong scented break stick then snarling he growls at the players around him. “I’m going to bench five hundred pounds twice then hit the showers, I got swamp ass.” The team laughs. “Alright, everybody up on me let’s get in here and get a loud as fucking break.” The players enclose on Benet shoving each other as the bounce around with pure testosterone. “Break it out three. One, two, three, the team joins in Mustangs!” As the players disperse Paul picks up his helmet and shoulder pads. “Paul, come here a minute I want to talk to you.” Paul runs to the sideline where his coach stands now accompanied by Sidney and three other assistant coaches.

Pual, “Yes sir?” The assistant coaches silently stare at him judging from head to toe. Sidney looks at Benet. “Doc needs to see you.” Pual, ok, just give me a few minutes. I got to take a shower.” Benet sighs. “Why don’t you just go ahead and hustle straight to Doc’s.” Hesitantly Pual replies, “ok.”

As instantaneous as Paul turns and jogs to the exit assistant coaches snivel spitting out chew and relentlessly shooting fast glances back and forth. An assistant coach looks at Benet.” It’s a damn shame on that’s boy family, him Losing everything on account of stupidity. I’d be mad as hell at my boy if I was his Paw..” Another assistant coach spits out a slab of chewing tobacco. “coming home with his tail tucked between his legs.” Benet, “Come on now guys at least he can get a job pumping gas somewhere.” All the coaches share in an elongated laugh but, Sidney slows sooner.

The inside of Docs office is pristine. Like a commercial set for some cleaning agent. Certain books in his shelf glisten making it surreal and almost fake clean or just impeccably kept. It’s got a motif the seemingly suggests that a professional cleaner comes every hour on the hour and signs their name after having thouroghly sanitizing everything on spot. It had a verifying the comforting feeling one would come to naturally love, believe and feel safe in. Scholarly looking papers hang framed and certified on the wall behind Doc. Foot note Doc makes up an entire lineage of people that worked in sports medecine his father was a trainer for the bears and his father before him a trainer for the packers. They were all dapper men claiming wives as mere puppets to lead on straight coaches who have always hired them. That brings up the question of whether mere circumstance played into a lineage of bisexual football coaches. At least one could arrive at the conclusion that these coaches felt comfortable around a particular breed of men so much so they provided jobs of rank to them for three generations. Their names are Doc, Doc sr. and Doc. Jr. This is Doc’ Jr.’s office. He has three girls and player getting a total body ice down in the whirlpool room.

Devil's Escort the Novel (teaser)

One hundred and eight degrees climbs another notch expanding matter and thresholds to heat. Players do everything they can to take in natural air surrounded by metal stands on turf stadium. Paul, a man’s body slapped with the brain of an adolescent, looks at the digital thermometer hanging from a huge blue scoreboard. The team’s mascot, a white mustang, was painted under the temperature. Somehow, the mustang looks more like a retarded mule then the majestic wild horse it’s meant to portray. The Ponies have the worst record in the league for the past three years and one could draw the conclusion a less then authentic cartoony horse has something to do with it.

Whistles belt out short loud chirps. “Alright, stop for a fifteen second break!” Paul puts his hands over his head and slowly controls a deep breath. Players struggle to encourage other teammates hunched down huffing and puffing. Paul “come on get up let’s go guys! Two more then we’re done!” Short, rigid and hairy Coach Benet blows his whistle. “Sprint you pussies!” Spit flies out his mouth as he bites down on the whistle. “Move your asses or everyone is getting two more laps.” Benet’s face glows bright red and blood vessels swell on his throat. “I want to see you winning this year.” Players drag their feet and attempt to stay focused as heat waves ripple off the stadiums metallic chairs like over spilt gas. “Oh, ya baby I’m cold!” Sidney shivers then transforms into a wild dog. “ Ruff, ruff.” Snarling at the teams slowest runner is Coach Sidney. A Former Cowboy’s linebacker and it’s easy to see he’s the biggest man on the field. He’s got weird style but wears it well. A tall mohawk afro with three separate sized shiny necklaces that match his gold ear rings. He claps his hands chest muscles bounce and stretch the pink tank top with black tiger paws on it. “Push it! Let’s go!” Sidney runs up to the fattest lineman and slaps the linemen’s slow plump sweaty ass. The whistle gives out one long last chirp.“Alright good job, get in here.”

The team runs to circle up on Coach Benet. “Take a knee.” They snap off helmets then shoulder pads and Benet twirls a whistle around his pointer finger. He brushes down a Tom Selleck mustache resting his chin and thinking as a copper bracelet slides down his arm. The sweat and skin alchemized a visible green stain around his wrist. “All the losers and tit suckers get off my fucking field. “ The team struggles to catch wind. He points up to the thermometer. “I know it’s hot, you can take it. Right?” The team responds with a massive “yes sir.” He takes off his ten gallon straw hat. “If you caint’, go play tennis or soccer because this is a man’s sport.” Sweat drips in his eye and he doesn’t blink. “If you want to play for me, you better bust your ass!” He spits the wipes down his mustache. “Don’t cramp up. I’m tired of players having to get I.V.’s.” Paul squirts cold water on his face. “Get hydrated before practice. Drink a Gatorade right when you wake up.” He looks over at Coach Sidney who is shuffling through his fanny pack. “Coach Sidney, anything to add?” Coach Sidney steps forward cracks open a quick whiff of ammonia meant to give power lifters a head rush before throwing weight in the air. Sidney snorts in the strong scented break stick then snarling he growls at the players around him. “I’m going to bench five hundred pounds twice then hit the showers, I got swamp ass.” The team laughs. “Alright, everybody up on me let’s get in here and get a loud as fucking break.” The players enclose on Benet shoving each other as the bounce around with pure testosterone. “Break it out three. One, two, three, the team joins in Mustangs!” As the players disperse Paul picks up his helmet and shoulder pads. “Paul, come here a minute I want to talk to you.” Paul runs to the sideline where his coach stands now accompanied by Sidney and three other assistant coaches.

Diablo's Present's

It’s the inside of something you have never lived in but, could easily say is the filthiest apartment bedroom in the world. Walls and curtains are all stained with ages of cigarette smoke. The smell is so intense you have to plug your nose after the combination of smoke and turtle shit so harsh it will make your nose bleed. Plus there is a wasteland of withered flies and dust suspended under the ceiling light destined to cast it’s shadow on glass where it dried.

The smell hits your nose like a grenade. Exploding plumes of smoke, sure to sting any eye and give them instant contact highs from the leaking purple lips of our girl next door gone bad. Her voice gruffly calls to the man pissing like a fountain in the restroom adjacent to the grizzly couples bedroom. “Chance! ” Ashes her smoke then turns up the music persistently screaming over the volume she just turned up. “I’m hungry let’s order some food.” Piss bubble up in the toilette as Chance snorts and spits. “What!” Chance misses the bowl and sends a stream flying at left towels from previous showers.

“Hi, my name is Diablo. She pushes back strands of black and silver hair with peircings everywhere a hole can go. She sharply snaps on a rubber band. “I’ve been dating my boyfriend now for six months.” Leaning back she pulls the ash tray onto her bed. “ I wanted to see how he would act with children so I made the decision to get him a pet. Chance walks out of the restroom and flops down on the bed. “his place charges for a pet deposit and he’s poor so you know how it goes I had to make do. Diablo hacks out a mucus glob from her throat then ashes her fat daddy joint. Diablo, “ I was trying to think of something cheap and that’s when it clicked. I knew what I was going to get him for Christmas, the Lord baby Jesus’s birthday. Plus Petco had a sale on two adorable turtles. Of course I had to get the bowl and food for them. I let him name them” She looks at Chance who is snoring and drooling onto the stained mattress. “Smarty and Dum Dum, this is their story.”

Chance holds a turtle in his hands then drops it and catches it before it hits the floor. Chance, “Wooh!” “How about a roller coaster little guy?” Chance drops the turtle. “Oh shit that was close” Chance holds the turtle up with his short chubby tattoo covered arms. “These turtles are fucking cool.” Diablo smiles I’m glad you like them. He places them back in the plastic tank on a table behind a older model desktop computer. Chance “I put them up her so I can watch them while I work.” Diablo licks a joint and lights it. She crackles a bright red light on the free bird and passes it to chance as she blows her remain from the last pull directly in his face. Chance takes the joint from Diablo’s hand and takes his puff making sure to hold it in as turns to lean over the turtles plastic container. He sends a cloud of smoke over the turtles environment completely engulfing their space. I wonder if I can teach them ninja moves?” Chance laughs. “Here put this over it, to trap in the smoke.” She hands him a plate which he places of the turtles home.” Chance smiles, “Sweet they are going to get extra high.” The turtles look up then dip into a small reserve of water. “I’m hungry,” Chance rubs his stomach. Diablo gets off the bed.” Let’s get some Chinese.” Chance grabs several skinny stick of incense. Light some of these so the landlord doesn’t smell the smoke. The two seal off the room and turn on the fan whispers the thick streams of Aleo and honey suckle incense into the turtle bowl. Chance pulls Diablo away from the door. Chance, “I’m too stoned to go.” He collapses onto the bed bringing her on top of him. Diablo tries to pull away but can’t. He forces his hand between her thighs spreading apart her legs. Diablo smiles and stops the effort to get up. Diablo, “Are you too stoned to..,” she looks spitefully aggressive,” Fuck me in the ass?” The two rip each others’ clothes off in a haze weed smoke and incense.

Months go by as bacteria grows on the bowl and the ritual doesn’t change for Smarty and Dum Dum. The toilette flushes. Chance! What? He hold his nose to feed the turtles. Chance God these Fuckers smell like shit. Diablo, “I don’t smell anything.” Chance walks in the restroom and starts digging under the sink. “Where are those fucking incense” Chance yells under the bathroom sink. I have something to tell you. Ah found them. Diablo I’m pregnant. Chance walks out of the restroom with a scared expression. “What? No! I want an abortion I mean we got to get rid of it. He paces the room. I don’t want a kid I’m too young.” She touches his arm. “I’m sorry.” Moving away from her, “You said you were on the pill. Fuck. Kill it.” I’m already three months in. It has a heart.” Starting to cry she sits on the bed. “Fuck. Well give it up for adoption.” He stares soullessly at the turtle bowl. “I want to keep the baby.” “Jesus Christ you are going to ruin our lives.” Diablo begins to cry and chance lights up a cigarette. Here take this. He passes her the cigarette. She inhales and he punches her in the stomach. Like a drum beat the sound of his fist hitting her stomach echoes. Chance watches Diablo hit the floor and curl up in a fetal position. He reaches for the bundle of incense and lights all of them. “Here get up.” He helps her on to the bed. She’s shaking as he wipes her tears. “Come on lets go get some ice cream.” The two walk out the room and Chance walks back in. He takes the incense and places it in the turtle bowl then flips the light off and walks back out his door.

Short "Diablo's Present's"

It’s the inside of something you have never lived in but, could easily say is the filthiest apartment bedroom in the world. Walls and curtains are all stained with ages of cigarette smoke. The smell is so intense you have to plug your nose after the combination of smoke and turtle shit so harsh it will make your nose bleed. Plus there is a wasteland of withered flies and suspended under the ceiling light destined to cast it shadow on the glass where it dried.

The smell hits your nose like a grenade. Exploding plumes of smoke, sure to sting any eye and give them instant contact highs from the leaking purple lips of our girl next door gone bad. Her voice gruffly calls to the man taking a piss in the restroom adjacent to our grizzly couples bedroom. “Chance! ” Ashes her smoke then turns up the music persistently screaming over the volume she just turned up. “I’m hungry let’s order some food.” Piss bubble up in the toilette as Chance snorts and spits. “What!” Chance misses the bowl and sends a stream flying at left towels from previous showers.

“Hi, my name is Diablo. She pushes back strands of black and silver hair with peircings everywhere a hole can go. She sharply snaps on a rubber band. “I’ve been dating my boyfriend now for six months.” Leaning back she pulls the ash tray onto her bed. “ I wanted to see how he would act with children so I made the decision to get him a pet. Chance walks out of the restroom and flops down on the bed. “his place charges for a pet deposit and he’s poor so you know how it goes I had to make do. Diablo hacks out a mucus glob from her throat then ashes her fat daddy joint. Diablo, “ I was trying to think of something cheap and that’s when it clicked. I knew what I was going to get him for Christmas, the Lord baby Jesus’s birthday. Plus Petco had a sale on two adorable turtles. Of course I had to get the bowl and food for them. I let him name them” She looks at Chance who is snoring and drooling onto the stained mattress. “Smarty and Dum Dum, this is their story.”

Chance holds a turtle in his hands then drops it and catches it before it hits the floor. Chance, “Wooh!” “How about a roller coaster little guy?” Chance drops the turtle. “Oh shit that was close” Chance holds the turtle up with his short chubby tattoo covered arms. “These turtles are fucking cool.” Diablo smiles I’m glad you like them. He places them back in the plastic tank on a table behind a older model desktop computer. Chance “I put them up her so I can watch them while I work.” Diablo licks a joint and lights it. She crackles a bright red light on the free bird and passes it to chance as she blows her remain from the last pull directly in his face. Chance takes the joint from Diablo’s hand and takes his puff making sure to hold it in as turns to lean over the turtles plastic container. He sends a cloud of smoke over the turtles environment completely engulfing their space. I wonder if I can teach them ninja moves?” Chance laughs. “Here put this over it, to trap in the smoke.” She hands him a plate which he places of the turtles home.” Chance smiles, “Sweet they are going to get extra high.” The turtles look up then dip into a small reserve of water. “I’m hungry,” Chance rubs his stomach. Diablo gets off the bed.” Let’s get some Chinese.” Chance grabs several skinny stick of incense. Light some of these so the landlord doesn’t smell the smoke. The two seal off the room and turn on the fan whispers the thick streams of Aleo and honey suckle incense into the turtle bowl. Chance pulls Diablo away from the door. Chance, “I’m too stoned to go.” He collapses onto the bed bringing her on top of him. Diablo tries to pull away but can’t. He forces his hand between her thighs spreading apart her legs. Diablo smiles and stops the effort to get up. Diablo, “Are you too stoned to..,” she looks spitefully aggressive,” Fuck me in the ass?” The two rip each others’ clothes off in a haze weed smoke and incense.

Months go by as bacteria grows on the bowl and the ritual doesn’t change for Smarty and Dum Dum. The toilette flushes. Chance! What? He hold his nose to feed the turtles. Chance God these Fuckers smell like shit. Diablo, “I don’t smell anything.” Chance walks in the restroom and starts digging under the sink. “Where are those fucking incense” Chance yells under the bathroom sink. I have something to tell you. Ah found them. Diablo I’m pregnant. Chance walks out of the restroom with a scared expression. “What? No! I want an abortion I mean we got to get rid of it. He paces the room. I don’t want a kid I’m too young.” She touches his arm. “I’m sorry.” Moving away from her, “You said you were on the pill. Fuck. Kill it.” I’m already three months in. It has a heart.” Starting to cry she sits on the bed. “Fuck. Well give it up for adoption.” He stares soullessly at the turtle bowl. “I want to keep the baby.” “Jesus Christ you are going to ruin our lives.” Diablo begins to cry and chance lights up a cigarette. Here take this. He passes her the cigarette. She inhales and he punches her in the stomach. Like a drum beat the sound of his fist hitting her stomach echoes. Chance watches Diablo hit the floor and curl up in a fetal position. He reaches for the bundle of incense and lights all of them. “Here get up.” He helps her on to the bed. She’s shaking as he wipes her tears. “Come on lets go get some ice cream.” The two walk out the room and Chance walks back in. He takes the incense and places it in the turtle bowl then flips the light off and walks back out his door.

Short Story- "Diablo's Presents"

It’s the inside of something you have never lived in but, could easily say is the filthiest apartment bedroom in the world. Walls and curtains are all stained with ages of cigarette smoke. The smell is so intense you have to plug your nose to after inhaling the combination of smoke and turtle shit so harsh it will make your nose bleed.

The smell hits your nose like a grenade. Exploding plumes of smoke, sure to sting any eye and give them instant contact highs from the leaking purple lips of our girl next door gone bad. Her voice gruffly calls to the man taking a piss in the restroom adjacent to our grizzly couples bedroom. “Chance! ” Ashes her smoke then turns up the music persistently screaming over the volume she just turned up. “I’m hungry let’s order some food.” Piss bubble up in the toilette as Chance snorts and spits. “What!” Chance misses the bowl and sends a stream flying at left towels from previous showers.

“Hi, my name is Diablo. She pushes back strands of black and silver hair with peircings everywhere a hole can go. She sharply snaps on a rubber band. “I’ve been dating my boyfriend now for six months.” Leaning back she pulls the ash tray onto her bed. “ I wanted to see how he would act with children so I made the decision to get him a pet. Chance walks out of the restroom and flops down on the bed. “his place charges for a pet deposit and he’s poor so you know how it goes I had to make do. Diablo hacks out a mucus glob from her throat then ashes her fat daddy joint. Diablo, “ I was trying to think of something cheap and that’s when it clicked. I knew what I was going to get him for Christmas, the Lord baby Jesus’s birthday. Plus Petco had a sale on two adorable turtles. Of course I had to get the bowl and food for them. I let him name them” She looks at Chance who is snoring and drooling onto the stained mattress. “Smarty and Dum Dum, this is their story.”

Chance holds a turtle in his hands then drops it and catches it before it hits the floor. Chance, “Wooh!” “How about a roller coaster little guy?” Chance drops the turtle. “Oh shit that was close” Chance holds the turtle up with his short chubby tattoo covered arms. “These turtles are fucking cool.” Diablo smiles I’m glad you like them. He places them back in the plastic tank on a table behind a older model desktop computer. Chance “I put them up her so I can watch them while I work.” Diablo licks a joint and lights it. She crackles a bright red light on the free bird and passes it to chance as she blows her remain from the last pull directly in his face. Chance takes the joint from Diablo’s hand and takes his puff making sure to hold it in as turns to lean over the turtles plastic container. He sends a cloud of smoke over the turtles environment completely engulfing their space. I wonder if I can teach them ninja moves?” Chance laughs. “Here put this over it, to trap in the smoke.” She hands him a plate which he places of the turtles home.” Chance smiles, “Sweet they are going to get extra high.” The turtles look up then dip into a small reserve of water. “I’m hungry,” Chance rubs his stomach. Diablo gets off the bed.” Let’s get some Chinese.” Chance grabs several skinny stick of incense. Light some of these so the landlord doesn’t smell the smoke. The two seal off the room and turn on the fan whispers the thick streams of Aleo and honey suckle incense into the turtle bowl. Chance pulls Diablo away from the door. Chance, “I’m too stoned to go.” He collapses onto the bed bringing her on top of him. Diablo tries to pull away but can’t. He forces his hand between her thighs spreading apart her legs. Diablo smiles and stops the effort to get up. Diablo, “Are you too stoned to..,” she looks spitefully aggressive,” Fuck me in the ass?” The two rip each others’ clothes off in a haze weed smoke and incense.

Months go by as bacteria grows on the bowl and the ritual doesn’t change for Smarty and Dum Dum. The toilette flushes. Chance! What? He hold his nose to feed the turtles. Chance God these Fuckers smell like shit. Diablo, “I don’t smell anything.” Chance walks in the restroom and starts digging under the sink. “Where are those fucking incense” Chance yells under the bathroom sink. I have something to tell you. Ah found them. Diablo I’m pregnant. Chance walks out of the restroom with a scared expression. “What? No! I want an abortion I mean we got to get rid of it. He paces the room. I don’t want a kid I’m too young.” She touches his arm. “I’m sorry.” Moving away from her, “You said you were on the pill. Fuck. Kill it.” I’m already three months in. It has a heart.” Starting to cry she sits on the bed. “Fuck. Well give it up for adoption.” He stares soullessly at the turtle bowl. “I want to keep the baby.” “Jesus Christ you are going to ruin our lives.” Diablo begins to cry and chance lights up a cigarette. Here take this. He passes her the cigarette. She inhales and he punches her in the stomach. Like a drum beat the sound of his fist hitting her stomach echoes. Chance watches Diablo hit the floor and curl up in a fetal position. He reaches for the bundle of incense and lights all of them. “Here get up.” He helps her on to the bed. She’s shaking as he wipes her tears. “Come on lets go get some ice cream.” The two walk out the room and Chance walks back in. He takes the incense and places it in the turtle bowl then flips the light off and walks back out his door.

Short Story- Diablo's Presents

It’s the inside of something you have never lived in but, could easily say is the filthiest apartment bedroom in the world. Walls and curtains are all stained with ages of cigarette smoke. The smell is so intense you have to plug your nose to after inhaling the combination of smoke and turtle shit so harsh it will make your nose bleed.

The smell hits your nose like a grenade. Exploding plumes of smoke, sure to sting any eye and give them instant contact highs from the leaking purple lips of our girl next door gone bad. Her voice gruffly calls to the man taking a piss in the restroom adjacent to the couples bedroom. “Chance! ” She ashes her smoke then turns up the music persistently screaming over the volume she just turned up. “I’m hungry let’s order some food.” Piss bubble up in the toilette as Chance snorts and spits. “What!” Chance misses the bowl and sends a stream flying at left towels from previous showers.

“Hi, my name is Diablo. She pushes back strands of black and silver hair with peircings everywhere a hole can go. She sharply snaps on a rubber band. “I’ve been dating my boyfriend now for six months.” Leaning back she pulls the ash tray onto her bed. “ I wanted to see how he would act with children so I made the decision to get him a pet. Chance walks out of the restroom and flops down on the bed. “his place charges for a pet deposit and he’s poor so you know how it goes I had to make do. Diablo coughs and ashes her smoke. Diablo, “ I was trying to think of something cheap and that’s when it clicked. I knew what I was going to get him for Christmas, the Lord baby Jesus’s birthday. Plus Petco had a sale on two adorable turtles. Of course I had to get the bowl and food for them. I let him name them” She looks at Chance who is snoring and drooling onto the stained mattress. “Smarty and Dum Dum, this is their story.”

Chance holds a turtle in his hands then drops it and catches it before it hits the floor. Chance, “Wooh!” “How about a roller coaster little guy?” Chance drops the turtle. “Oh shit that was close” Chance holds the turtle up with his short chubby tattoo covered arms. “These turtles are fucking cool.” Diablo smiles I’m glad you like them. He places them back in the plastic tank on a table behind a older model desktop computer. Chance “I put them up her so I can watch them while I work.” Diablo licks a joint and lights it. She crackles a bright red light on the free bird and passes it to chance as she blows her remain from the last pull directly in his face. Chance takes the joint from Diablo’s hand and takes his puff making sure to hold it in as turns to lean over the turtles plastic container. He sends a cloud of smoke over the turtles environment completely engulfing their space. I wonder if I can teach them ninja moves?” Chance laughs. “Here put this over it, to trap in the smoke.” She hands him a plate which he places of the turtles home.” Chance smiles, “Sweet they are going to get extra high.” The turtles look up then dip into a small reserve of water. “I’m hungry,” Chance rubs his stomach. Diablo gets off the bed.” Let’s get some Chinese.” Chance grabs several skinny stick of incense. Light some of these so the landlord doesn’t smell the smoke. The two seal off the room and turn on the fan whispers the thick streams of Aleo and honey suckle incense into the turtle bowl. Chance pulls Diablo away from the door. Chance, “I’m too stoned to go.” He collapses onto the bed bringing her on top of him. Diablo tries to pull away but can’t. He forces his hand between her thighs spreading apart her legs. Diablo smiles and stops the effort to get up. Diablo, “Are you too stoned to..,” she looks spitefully aggressive,” Fuck me in the ass?” The two rip each others’ clothes off in a haze weed smoke and incense.

Months go by as bacteria grows on the bowl and the ritual doesn’t change for Smarty and Dum Dum. The toilette flushes. Chance! What? He hold his nose to feed the turtles. Chance God these Fuckers smell like shit. Diablo, “I don’t smell anything.” Chance walks in the restroom and starts digging under the sink. “Where are those fucking incense” Chance yells under the bathroom sink. I have something to tell you. Ah found them. Diablo I’m pregnant. Chance walks out of the restroom with a scared expression. “What? No! I want an abortion I mean we got to get rid of it. He paces the room. I don’t want a kid I’m too young.” She touches his arm. “I’m sorry.” Moving away from her, “You said you were on the pill. Fuck. Kill it.” I’m already three months in. It has a heart.” Starting to cry she sits on the bed. “Fuck. Well give it up for adoption.” He stares soullessly at the turtle bowl. “I want to keep the baby.” “Jesus Christ you are going to ruin our lives.” Diablo begins to cry and chance lights up a cigarette. Here take this. He passes her the cigarette. She inhales and he punches her in the stomach. Like a drum beat the sound of his fist hitting her stomach echoes. Chance watches Diablo hit the floor and curl up in a fetal position. He reaches for the bundle of incense and lights all of them. “Here get up.” He helps her on to the bed. She’s shaking as he wipes her tears. “Come on lets go get some ice cream.” The two walk out the room and Chance walks back in. He takes the incense and places it in the turtle bowl then flips the light off and walks back out his door.

Diablo's Presents

It’s the inside of something you have never lived in but, could easily say is the filthiest apartment bedroom in the world. Walls and curtains are all stained with ages of cigarette smoke. The smell is so intense you have to plug your nose to keep it from bleeding after inhaling the combination of smoke and turtle shit so harsh it will make your nose bleed.

The smell hits your nose like a grenade. Another plume of smoke, sure to sting any eye and give them instant contact high from plumes leaking out purple lips of our girl next door gone bad. Her voice gruffly calls to the man taking a piss in the restroom adjacent to the couples bedroom. “Chance! ” She ashes her smoke then turns up the music persistently screaming over the volume she just turned up. “I’m hungry let’s order some food.” Piss bubble up in the toilette as Chance snorts and spits. “What!” Chance misses the bowl and sends a stream flying at left towels from previous showers.

“Hi, my name is Diablo. She pushes back strands of black and silver hair with peircings everywhere a hole can go. She sharply snaps on a rubber band. “I’ve been dating my boyfriend now for six months.” Leaning back she pulls the ash tray onto her bed. “ I wanted to see how he would act with children so I made the decision to get him a pet. Chance walks out of the restroom and flops down on the bed. “his place charges for a pet deposit and he’s poor so you know how it goes I had to make do. Diablo coughs and ashes her smoke. Diablo, “ I was trying to think of something cheap and that’s when it clicked. I knew what I was going to get him for Christmas, the Lord baby Jesus’s birthday. Plus Petco had a sale on two adorable turtles. Of course I had to get the bowl and food for them. I let him name them” She looks at Chance who is snoring and drooling onto the stained mattress. “Smarty and Dum Dum, this is their story.”

Chance holds a turtle in his hands then drops it and catches it before it hits the floor. Chance, “Wooh!” “How about a roller coaster little guy?” Chance drops the turtle. “Oh shit that was close” Chance holds the turtle up with his short chubby tattoo covered arms. “These turtles are fucking cool.” Diablo smiles I’m glad you like them. He places them back in the plastic tank on a table behind a older model desktop computer. Chance “I put them up her so I can watch them while I work.” Diablo licks a joint and lights it. She crackles a bright red light on the free bird and passes it to chance as she blows her remain from the last pull directly in his face. Chance takes the joint from Diablo’s hand and takes his puff making sure to hold it in as turns to lean over the turtles plastic container. He sends a cloud of smoke over the turtles environment completely engulfing their space. I wonder if I can teach them ninja moves?” Chance laughs. “Here put this over it, to trap in the smoke.” She hands him a plate which he places of the turtles home.” Chance smiles, “Sweet they are going to get extra high.” The turtles look up then dip into a small reserve of water. “I’m hungry,” Chance rubs his stomach. Diablo gets off the bed.” Let’s get some Chinese.” Chance grabs several skinny stick of incense. Light some of these so the landlord doesn’t smell the smoke. The two seal off the room and turn on the fan whispers the thick streams of Aleo and honey suckle incense into the turtle bowl. Chance pulls Diablo away from the door. Chance, “I’m too stoned to go.” He collapses onto the bed bringing her on top of him. Diablo tries to pull away but can’t. He forces his hand between her thighs spreading apart her legs. Diablo smiles and stops the effort to get up. Diablo, “Are you too stoned to..,” she looks spitefully aggressive,” Fuck me in the ass?” The two rip each others’ clothes off in a haze weed smoke and incense.

Months go by as bacteria grows on the bowl and the ritual doesn’t change for Smarty and Dum Dum. The toilette flushes. Chance! What? He hold his nose to feed the turtles. Chance God these Fuckers smell like shit. Diablo, “I don’t smell anything.” Chance walks in the restroom and starts digging under the sink. “Where are those fucking incense” Chance yells under the bathroom sink. I have something to tell you. Ah found them. Diablo I’m pregnant. Chance walks out of the restroom with a scared expression. “What? No! I want an abortion I mean we got to get rid of it. He paces the room. I don’t want a kid I’m too young.” She touches his arm. “I’m sorry.” Moving away from her, “You said you were on the pill. Fuck. Kill it.” I’m already three months in. It has a heart.” Starting to cry she sits on the bed. “Fuck. Well give it up for adoption.” He stares soullessly at the turtle bowl. “I want to keep the baby.” “Jesus Christ you are going to ruin our lives.” Diablo begins to cry and chance lights up a cigarette. Here take this. He passes her the cigarette. She inhales and he punches her in the stomach. Like a drum beat the sound of his fist hitting her stomach echoes. Chance watches Diablo hit the floor and curl up in a fetal position. He reaches for the bundle of incense and lights all of them. “Here get up.” He helps her on to the bed. She’s shaking as he wipes her tears. “Come on lets go get some ice cream.” The two walk out the room and Chance walks back in. He takes the incense and places it in the turtle bowl then flips the light off and walks back out his door.

Devil's Escort the Novel (teaser)

108 degrees climbs to 109 as Paul, a man’s body stuck with the brain of an adolescent, looks up at a digital thermometer on a huge blue scoreboard. A whistle belts out three loud chirps. “Alright stop for a fifteen second break!” Paul , the most muscular male puts his hands on his head and takes a controlled deep breathe. Loud Chirping whistles echo on top of grunting and exhausted moans. Players encourage other teammates to run harder. Short, rigid and hairy Coach Bennet blows his whistle. “Sprint!” Spit flies out his mouth as he bites down on the whistle. “Move your asses or everyone is getting two more laps. We’re not done yet.” Bennet’s Face glows bright red and blood vessels swell on his throat. “I want to see you trying.” Players drag their feet and attempted to stay focused heat waves ripple like spilt gas over the stadiums turf field. “Oh, ya! Ruff, ruff.” Snarling at the teams slowest runner is Coach Sidney. A Former Cowboy’s linebacker and it’s easy to see he’s the biggest man on the field. He’s got weird style but wears it well. A tall mohawk afro with three separate sized shiny necklaces that match his gold ear ring. As he claps his hands chest muscles bounce and stretch the pink tank top with black tiger paws on it. “Push it! Let’s go!” Sidney runs up to the fattest lineman and slaps the linemen’s slow plump sweaty ass ass . Bennet blows the whistle. “Alright everybody up on me.”

The team runs to circle up on Coach Bennet. “Take a knee.” They snap off helmets then shoulder pads and Bennet twirls a whistle around his pointer finger. He brushes down a Tom Selleck mustache resting his chin and thinking as a copper bracelet slides down his arm. The sweat and skin alchemized a visible green stain around his wrist. “All the losers and tit suckers get off my fucking field. “ The team struggles to catch wind. He points up to the thermometer. “I know it’s hot but, you can take it. Caint’ ya!” The team responds with a massive yes sir. “If you caint’ go play with each other in the shower.” He looks intense as hell. Sweat drips in his eye but does’nt blink. “If you want to play for me, bust your ass!” Don’t whine and cry. Be a man!” Coach Sidney anything to add?” “I guess we're all going hit the showers.” The team laughs. “Alright.”