This scene is the 2nd scene of the movie. It pretty much sets up why the two main character, Ron and Don, NEED to find someone to train them how to fight. Check it out!
INT. --CROW’S NEST BAR-- NIGHT
Ron and Don walk into the bar wearing similar clothes. They both immediately make eye contact with the ladies at the end of the bar and give them a head nod. As they are walking in the bar two women that look like absolute, white-trash, "skanky" types are walking out of the bar flipping off two men who are still seated and appear to be paying no attention to the women. Ron and Don without speaking a word communicate that this is an opportunity and follow the angry women outside.
RON
Are you seeing what I am seeing.
DON
Beautiful buns.
RON
And they are super pissed off at whoever those guys were inside.
DON
So you take whichever one you want and I’ll get the other one. I know you like blondes better and I just like anything I can get. Hehehehe.
The two women are in the process of unlocking their car and getting inside. Just before the doors open they notice that Ron and Don followed them out and begin to converse.
JULIE
Can I help you boys?
The two stare but are temporarily speechless.
TINA
Do you have a starring problem?
Since the two are in fact losers there is a bit of nervous silence between Tina’s question and a reply from Don. Don delivered the line in such a way that he shows he really believes it is a good line.
DON
Well my lady, I am glad that you asked. It is very rarely does something so majestic, so breathtaking catch my eye. I am afraid that I may have lost it for a second. Please forgive me for starring.
TINA
Are you talking to me or her?
DON
Why you of course my lady.
Don lets out an extended cough.
TINA
Look, ain’t neither one of us named You. I am Tina here,
Tina circles the top of her head with her pointer finger.
TINA
the one with you blondish hair and big tits and this here is my G slash F.
She motions the slash with her hand.
Julie with the brown hair and big ass. Now which one of us were you talking to?
DON
Oh, there must be a little mix up. I am so sorry for not being clearer. a ha ha ha..........
Don looks at Ron and indicates to him he should pick which one of the two he wants. Ron mouths the answer to Don with his head turned and says “Big butted blonde”.
JULIE
What are you two doing?
DON
Oh, well uh, sorry to keep you waiting. Its kind of an inside joke we where talking about so.. you wouldn't think it was that funny but, any ways (very serious) the one of you I was talking to is Tina the big breasted brunette.
Kinda nervous and awkward.
RON
And my eye has caught you as well Julie and I was starring at you majestically also.
TINA
Are you boys drunk or stupid because I can’t handle another drunk?!
DON
I am not drunk or stupid. Brunette is another word for brown haired. My lady. (cough accompanied with a wink)
JULIE
I know what a Brunette is you retard, I am one but, I don’t have big tits and I would really like it if you didn't rub it in.
TINA
You have to be drunk, I don’t think anyone is that stupid.
RON
We are not drunk. You just saw us walking into the bar. You wanna smell my breath?
DON
Or taste it?
TINA
Look, I believe you. I don’t think you are drunk anymore just stupid and I can handle stupid. In fact, I just dumped a drunk at a bar so I kinda like stupid.
RON
You do?
Tina looks at Ron with a stare.
TINA
I am not talking to you. I am talking to your friend. What’s his name?
RON
Don. That’s his name and my name is Ron. We are both real nice guys if I don’t say so myself.
The girls kind of laugh but also see something of interest in the two losers.
DON
Not only are we nice guys but we are also both lawyers.
JULIE
No, your not. You are just the same two losers that come here every week and try to get laid.
TINA
We know all about you.
RON
Okay, so we are not lawyers but, we have pretty good jobs at this software firm called Globe-tech.
DON
Yeah, we’ve been there for like 3 years now and we have already gotten a dollar raise and next October we will be eligible for health benefits.
Ron slaps his forehead after hearing his ignorant friend.
TINA
Wow, so you guys like make pretty good for yourself huh?
A glimmer of hope once again enters his eyes.
RON
You are damn right we do.
DON
Yeah, we even got ourselves a house.
Their house in an absolute shit-hole and Ron would have rather taken them to a shady motel then the women see what they live in daily.
TINA AND JULIE
A house?
DON
Oh yeah, we got a house. We are actually about to make our last payment on it this week. After that it belongs to us! You two are welcome to come over anytime you want...... just to hang out with us.
The girls look at each other.
DON
We got a Wii and an XBOX 360.
RON
(mutters) idiot.....
TINA
Well, Julsey what do you say? These guys really seem nice and together like. Wanna give it a shot?
JULIE
Oh why not? I just got my TB shot. This could be fun.
TINA
All right then Sean and uh....
RON
The name is Ron and he’s DON!
TINA
Right, Ron and Don looks like you got yourselves a date!
The two are extremely excited and it shows! Perhaps this does not happen to them often?
RON
Well, uh right this way. My Kia is just on the other side of the lot. Tell you what, you wait here and I’ll go and get it. Don you stay here with the ladies for me (under his breath) and make sure they don’t leave.
Ron takes of running for the car at full speed.
DON
So, do you ladies like Wii or XBOX?
TINA
Huh?
DON
Oh, PICKY! A PS3 player I see. I am sorry that I won’t be able to accommodate you this evening my lady. I hope that one of my other two modern gaming devices will suite you temporarily.
TINA
What is he talking about?
JULIE
Who cares I just need a man.
TINA
So you are going with him? Good I at least wanted the smart one.
JULIE
Which one is that smart one?
At that time a car races up at full speed (about 45 mph) The door opens and Ron invites the ladies inside. As the door opens trash falls out and there is movement seen underneath another pile of trash still in the car.
TINA
Why don’t we just take my car?
RON
Oh come on, you don’t need to be driving. You have both been drinking.
DON
And drinking and driving don’t mix.
JULIE
Yeah, come on Tina quit being so picky and lets go (hiccup). You don’t need another DWI and neither do I.
TINA
Oh all right. Is this a damn Kia?
The girls get in the car and prepare to leave.
RON
You bet your ass it is. 100,000 mile warranty baby. Made to last.
The odometer on the car reads 99,976 miles on it. EVERYTHING inside is falling apart.
DON
We split the payments cause we live and work together. Otherwise we couldn’t afford a car on our own. Cars are expensive you know?
Ron once again has a look of disgust at his friend.
JULIE
I think that is very sweet that you two are you such close friends. Isn't that sweet Tina?
TINA
I guess, just as long as you two ain’t into none of that funny boy stuff. I can’t stand a man that goes both ways.
JULIE
Oh me neither. I need man who is ALL MAN! Grrrrr
RON
Well it looks like you are in the right car ladies because we are two of the manliest men you will ever meet. We would not even THINK of trying anything with another man right Donnie?
DON
HELL NO! Not after last time man I don’t ever want to have to clean that kind of shit up again.
You can tell that Don was not joking but, still Ron laughs and tries to cover up what his friend just said.
RON
A ha ha ha ha...... Now Don you keep kidding like that these ladies are libel to believe you.
The ladies look at the two men not knowing what to think when suddenly the front window of the car is smashed out with a shovel. The man with the shovel then grabs Ron by his hair pulling him out of the car and on to the pavement. Don jumps out of the car to assist his friend when he is blind sided by another man’s blow. Ron is now being pulled by his leg into the street. Don is getting his face kicked in as his body lays unconscious.
MAN WITH SHOVEL
Take this you pussy. Nobody takes our women and gets away with it.
A car’s headlights are headed straight for Ron.
RON
Please I’m sorry.
MAN WITH SHOVEL
You fucking stay in that road little bitch.
RON
I don’t want to die!!
MAN WITH SHOVEL
Stay or I’ll beat your ass with this shovel!
The car swerves to miss Ron. The man with the shovel then walks up to Ron and begins to hit him in the legs with the shovel.
The Camera fades to black as the two are beaten unconscious.
If you like what you read there are also a couple of low-budget, mock trailers for this film in my video section! Feel free to check them out. If you don't just know that I love you anyways!
INT. --CROW’S NEST BAR-- NIGHT
Ron and Don walk into the bar wearing similar clothes. They both immediately make eye contact with the ladies at the end of the bar and give them a head nod. As they are walking in the bar two women that look like absolute, white-trash, "skanky" types are walking out of the bar flipping off two men who are still seated and appear to be paying no attention to the women. Ron and Don without speaking a word communicate that this is an opportunity and follow the angry women outside.
RON
Are you seeing what I am seeing.
DON
Beautiful buns.
RON
And they are super pissed off at whoever those guys were inside.
DON
So you take whichever one you want and I’ll get the other one. I know you like blondes better and I just like anything I can get. Hehehehe.
The two women are in the process of unlocking their car and getting inside. Just before the doors open they notice that Ron and Don followed them out and begin to converse.
JULIE
Can I help you boys?
The two stare but are temporarily speechless.
TINA
Do you have a starring problem?
Since the two are in fact losers there is a bit of nervous silence between Tina’s question and a reply from Don. Don delivered the line in such a way that he shows he really believes it is a good line.
DON
Well my lady, I am glad that you asked. It is very rarely does something so majestic, so breathtaking catch my eye. I am afraid that I may have lost it for a second. Please forgive me for starring.
TINA
Are you talking to me or her?
DON
Why you of course my lady.
Don lets out an extended cough.
TINA
Look, ain’t neither one of us named You. I am Tina here,
Tina circles the top of her head with her pointer finger.
TINA
the one with you blondish hair and big tits and this here is my G slash F.
She motions the slash with her hand.
Julie with the brown hair and big ass. Now which one of us were you talking to?
DON
Oh, there must be a little mix up. I am so sorry for not being clearer. a ha ha ha..........
Don looks at Ron and indicates to him he should pick which one of the two he wants. Ron mouths the answer to Don with his head turned and says “Big butted blonde”.
JULIE
What are you two doing?
DON
Oh, well uh, sorry to keep you waiting. Its kind of an inside joke we where talking about so.. you wouldn't think it was that funny but, any ways (very serious) the one of you I was talking to is Tina the big breasted brunette.
Kinda nervous and awkward.
RON
And my eye has caught you as well Julie and I was starring at you majestically also.
TINA
Are you boys drunk or stupid because I can’t handle another drunk?!
DON
I am not drunk or stupid. Brunette is another word for brown haired. My lady. (cough accompanied with a wink)
JULIE
I know what a Brunette is you retard, I am one but, I don’t have big tits and I would really like it if you didn't rub it in.
TINA
You have to be drunk, I don’t think anyone is that stupid.
RON
We are not drunk. You just saw us walking into the bar. You wanna smell my breath?
DON
Or taste it?
TINA
Look, I believe you. I don’t think you are drunk anymore just stupid and I can handle stupid. In fact, I just dumped a drunk at a bar so I kinda like stupid.
RON
You do?
Tina looks at Ron with a stare.
TINA
I am not talking to you. I am talking to your friend. What’s his name?
RON
Don. That’s his name and my name is Ron. We are both real nice guys if I don’t say so myself.
The girls kind of laugh but also see something of interest in the two losers.
DON
Not only are we nice guys but we are also both lawyers.
JULIE
No, your not. You are just the same two losers that come here every week and try to get laid.
TINA
We know all about you.
RON
Okay, so we are not lawyers but, we have pretty good jobs at this software firm called Globe-tech.
DON
Yeah, we’ve been there for like 3 years now and we have already gotten a dollar raise and next October we will be eligible for health benefits.
Ron slaps his forehead after hearing his ignorant friend.
TINA
Wow, so you guys like make pretty good for yourself huh?
A glimmer of hope once again enters his eyes.
RON
You are damn right we do.
DON
Yeah, we even got ourselves a house.
Their house in an absolute shit-hole and Ron would have rather taken them to a shady motel then the women see what they live in daily.
TINA AND JULIE
A house?
DON
Oh yeah, we got a house. We are actually about to make our last payment on it this week. After that it belongs to us! You two are welcome to come over anytime you want...... just to hang out with us.
The girls look at each other.
DON
We got a Wii and an XBOX 360.
RON
(mutters) idiot.....
TINA
Well, Julsey what do you say? These guys really seem nice and together like. Wanna give it a shot?
JULIE
Oh why not? I just got my TB shot. This could be fun.
TINA
All right then Sean and uh....
RON
The name is Ron and he’s DON!
TINA
Right, Ron and Don looks like you got yourselves a date!
The two are extremely excited and it shows! Perhaps this does not happen to them often?
RON
Well, uh right this way. My Kia is just on the other side of the lot. Tell you what, you wait here and I’ll go and get it. Don you stay here with the ladies for me (under his breath) and make sure they don’t leave.
Ron takes of running for the car at full speed.
DON
So, do you ladies like Wii or XBOX?
TINA
Huh?
DON
Oh, PICKY! A PS3 player I see. I am sorry that I won’t be able to accommodate you this evening my lady. I hope that one of my other two modern gaming devices will suite you temporarily.
TINA
What is he talking about?
JULIE
Who cares I just need a man.
TINA
So you are going with him? Good I at least wanted the smart one.
JULIE
Which one is that smart one?
At that time a car races up at full speed (about 45 mph) The door opens and Ron invites the ladies inside. As the door opens trash falls out and there is movement seen underneath another pile of trash still in the car.
TINA
Why don’t we just take my car?
RON
Oh come on, you don’t need to be driving. You have both been drinking.
DON
And drinking and driving don’t mix.
JULIE
Yeah, come on Tina quit being so picky and lets go (hiccup). You don’t need another DWI and neither do I.
TINA
Oh all right. Is this a damn Kia?
The girls get in the car and prepare to leave.
RON
You bet your ass it is. 100,000 mile warranty baby. Made to last.
The odometer on the car reads 99,976 miles on it. EVERYTHING inside is falling apart.
DON
We split the payments cause we live and work together. Otherwise we couldn’t afford a car on our own. Cars are expensive you know?
Ron once again has a look of disgust at his friend.
JULIE
I think that is very sweet that you two are you such close friends. Isn't that sweet Tina?
TINA
I guess, just as long as you two ain’t into none of that funny boy stuff. I can’t stand a man that goes both ways.
JULIE
Oh me neither. I need man who is ALL MAN! Grrrrr
RON
Well it looks like you are in the right car ladies because we are two of the manliest men you will ever meet. We would not even THINK of trying anything with another man right Donnie?
DON
HELL NO! Not after last time man I don’t ever want to have to clean that kind of shit up again.
You can tell that Don was not joking but, still Ron laughs and tries to cover up what his friend just said.
RON
A ha ha ha ha...... Now Don you keep kidding like that these ladies are libel to believe you.
The ladies look at the two men not knowing what to think when suddenly the front window of the car is smashed out with a shovel. The man with the shovel then grabs Ron by his hair pulling him out of the car and on to the pavement. Don jumps out of the car to assist his friend when he is blind sided by another man’s blow. Ron is now being pulled by his leg into the street. Don is getting his face kicked in as his body lays unconscious.
MAN WITH SHOVEL
Take this you pussy. Nobody takes our women and gets away with it.
A car’s headlights are headed straight for Ron.
RON
Please I’m sorry.
MAN WITH SHOVEL
You fucking stay in that road little bitch.
RON
I don’t want to die!!
MAN WITH SHOVEL
Stay or I’ll beat your ass with this shovel!
The car swerves to miss Ron. The man with the shovel then walks up to Ron and begins to hit him in the legs with the shovel.
The Camera fades to black as the two are beaten unconscious.
If you like what you read there are also a couple of low-budget, mock trailers for this film in my video section! Feel free to check them out. If you don't just know that I love you anyways!
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