my foxsearchlight profile (Dec. 3, 2008)

My Searchlight

Screen Plays, Poetry and Shorts


Welcome to my foxsearchlight! Check out the videos, screenplays, and Poetry. velvetj.jones@gmail.com
My Favorites
Favorite Films Truman Show, Tropic Thunder, Color of Money, Trains, Planes and Automobiles
Favorite Actors Seth Green, Ben Stiller, Cruz, Cruise, Eddie Murphy, Wilder, Denzel
Favorite Directors Ghodry, both Spikes, Eastwood, Woody Allen, Mel Gibson, Ben Stiller

FOOT MODELS ( A screenplay written by Jacob Jones)
Nov 19, 2008
For my brother:FOOT MODELSA screenplay written by Jacob JonesVelvetj.jones@gmail.comCopyrighted November 19, 2008EXT. -- BASKET BALL COURT -- DAYAn eye-appealing bare foot covered in sweat pivots to the side slowly as a man exhales dramatically. The man licks sweat beads off his upper lip then slides his foot in a clear shoe that automatically forms to his foot.As an eagle screams a hand grips on a basket ball tenaciously squeezing it. The man’s lower half takes off leaping from the half court mark. His legs spread and he vertically climbs into the air.While slam dunking the basket ball a back board shatters. An athletic model wearing luxurious and gaudy basket ball shoes casually walks to the half court mark drops the ball and rests his foot on it.DIRECTORAlright cut!The Director is big bald and sweating. He chews on a cigar and speaks from the side of his mouth.DIRECTORRyan, get in there. Hurry up continuity baby.Ryan, an overweight but, athletic foot model wearing a shirt with a keg on it walks up to the marker and places his foot on the ball. The athletic model takes his foot off the ball and walks away.DIRECTORThe camera is rolling keep the ball still! Rolling... Action!Ryan, wearing the new clear shoe, places his foot on the ball. A gold logo flashes across the shoe and it glistens in the spotlight.RAYN (V.O.)That’s me.The athletic model walks up to the camera.RYANot the model, the foot. I’ve been told that I have beautiful feet my whole life. I’ve never had an ingrown toe nail or bunions.The director moves away from his camera and quickly shuffles to another one pointed at Ryan’s foot.RAYNIt’s my job to make sure my foot looks better than yours.DIRECTORGo ahead. Look at it!.. Look at it!!!An Assistant Director measures the light by Ryan’s foot. The director twists his cigar and smiles with content as his assistant director gives him a thumbs up.DIRECTORI know it’s hard to look away when you see a foot that fucking perfect.The Assistant Director, wearing a microphone headset, walks up to a small video monitor and looks closer at the image of Ryan’s foot.ASSISTANT DIRECTOR(softly)It’s so perfect.Ryan holds his foot on the basket ball as the director zooms in on a the futuristic bubble wrap looking new basket ball shoe.RYANIt’s no surprise I can make a living just modeling my feet. The pedicures, creams and unique cosmetics keep these puppies looking fresh.As Ryan walks away from the basket ball he spins it with his foot. The director with camera in hand follows Ryan’s foot steps away from the spinning ball.Pictures of Ryan’s foot are shown by a hand opening a photo album. The hand flips through pages comprised of foot photos. Each photo has it’s own distinct design and setting.RYAN (V.O.)(bragging)From my knees down I’ve been in commercials all over the world and featured in every magazine you could think of. I’m even on the cover of the 2004 June addition of National geographic.On the cover of the national geographic is a picture of a man spitting fire.RYAN (V.O.)In the crowd behind the starving children. I’m the foot wearing Croc sandals. That’s my foot. Oh, and in the Friend’s second season third episode, Chandler stumps his toe and for one second there is a close up on what you think is his foot... That’s my foot.A director holding the camera on Ryan’s foot wipes his brow.DIRECTOR(shouts)Alright cut!The director puts on shades and a top hat the walks up to Ryan. The director extends his arm to shake Ryan’s hand.DIRECTORBeautiful baby. Nice spin on that ball.RYANJust one of my many talents.DIRECTORWhen you showed just a little bit of the soul. Perfect. That’s what I want. Just take ten and we will do the shot one more time. Perfection baby it’s got to be perfect.Ryan watches a man beside the craft services table. He is wearing the same shoes as Ryan and shares the exact same physical build.In appearance they are very similar with an exception of the nose. Deen, the man beside the craft service table, continues munching on snack as a seductively attractive woman approaches him. The director walks up to the craft service table and grabs a bag of chips and soda then grabs the woman’s ass. She looks at him and smiles.DIRECTORHey, Deen! Can I talk to you for a minute?The Assistant Director leans even closer to the video monitor which is still holding an image of Rayn’s foot in the new basket ball shoe.ASSISTANT DIRECTORIt’s amazing what beautiful feet do for a shoe.RYAN (V.O.)It’s not just my feet but, my calves are perfectly in proportion to my feet sleek smooth and tan. That makes me a below the knee model. People keep telling me my thighs are too fat and my face is kinda ugly.Ryan watches the director and his brother Deen converse over a table full of snacks.RyanIf it wasn't for that I would be a full body model. But, hey I’m not complaining my foot and I have done pretty well for ourselves.Ryan speaks to the director’s camera as he watches the director talk to his brother Deen.RAYNWhen people say I’m not a model. I show them my foot.The director shares a laugh with Deen and pats him on the back.DIRECTOR(loudly)That’s why we pay you the big bucks.The director looks down at his watch and turns to his Assistant Director.DIRECTORTell everyone they have ten minutes.The director walks up to his female assistant who is wearing a head set and holding a coffee and turns back to Deen.DIRECTORDeen, baby, your in the next shot! I’m going to let your brother take a break while I get you in some action shots. Shelly...Shelly, An attractive woman wearing a red dress and high heels jumps to attention and acts excited to be noticed by the Director. There is a loud annoying RING. The director reaches into his pocket pulls out his phone and glances at it.DIRECTORI’m going to watch that slam dunk footage on my Phone. I have to take this call. Everybody take fifteen. God I love being the man in charge.The director gets up from his chair that reads “Man in Charge” throws open a door and heads into the rest room with Shelly on his arm. Ryan watches him walk away then looks back at the Assistant director who is still starring at the video monitor.RYAN(to the camera)I was on the cover of the Berken-Stock magazine for six years straight. When they took my foot off of the front page it was only for my brother.Ryan looks over at his brother who is eating a sandwich really fast.RYANHe was blessed with beautiful feet too.Ryan looks over at Deen’s shoes then up at his calves that sparkle in the light when slightly moved.RYANHis name is Deen and we have been in the foot model business our whole lives.Marv, Ryan’s agent, a fat balding man wearing a cheesy sweat suit walks in and gestures for Ryan to walk over in his direction. He speaks with an Italian accent.MARVRyan! What’s the news? How’s the shoot?Ryan looks at Marv as he starts to fill up a plate at the craft service table.MarvHey, come here twinkle toes. You look like you’ve lost weight. You look great.Marv puts his arm around Ryan’s shoulder and leads him away from the set and commercial crew.MARVYou are going to love me. Look...Marv struggles down a large gulp from his flask.MARVUhm, little something to warm me up.RYANHow’s the ulcer?Marv farts and as his butt squeaks he looks to see if anyone noticed.MARVOh, the doctor gave me some pills for dat. Xanx for stress. Some Valumes for my back, Narcos for my neck and shit...Marv stares at the label on a bottleMarvSomething for my blood pressure.Marv shakes the bottle rattling the pills then opens it up and guzzles some straight from the bottle.RYAN (V.O.)That’s my manager Marv. He raised my brother and I since we were six. Our parents were killed in a car wreck so, he’s been our foot agent pretty much our entire life. I guess you could say he’s used to dealing with beautiful feet.INT. -- WOODY P’S -- NIGHTThe story of Marv.Lights flash and fog rolls in from the stage were a younger thinner Marv takes off his pants and prances to a pop song. Several gay men walk up to the stage and place dollar bills in his G-string as he gratefully rubs his crotch in their face.MARVEasy boys look but no touch.One older man wearing a nice suit walks up to the stage and motions for the dancer to lean down.RICKYour fucking hot.The long haired Marv leans down getting close to the Rick’s face.MARVThanks baby.Rick pulls out a wad of one hundred dollar bills and slips one in Marv’s G-string.RICKI want you.MARVLike what you see stud muffin?RICKHow much for a private dance?Marv leads Rick to a private area in the balcony of a gay strip club. Rick sits in a chair and Marv begins to give him a lap dance. Rick looks down at Marv’s cowboy boots.RICKWhy don’t you take your boots off cowboy?MARVI don’t take them off.Rick pulls out his cash.RICKI bet I could persuade you.Rick pulls out two hundred dollars.RICKOne hundred for each boot. I want to suck your toes.Marv hesitates then proceeds to pull off his boot with caution. After pulling off the boot Rick’s face looks shocked then quickly turns to disgusted.RICKGod that smell.Rick turns his head to the side and vomits.RICKPut your boot back on your making me sick. How can you let your feet go like that? Your like some kind of a freak.Rick gags as Marv slides his boot back on embarrassed.RICKWhat the hell is wrong with you?MARVScrew you man! I’m not gay I just dance here for the cash.Marv walks away leaving Rick throwing up in the chair. As he leaves a tear rolls down his face.INT. -- BASKET BALL SHOE SHOOT -- DAYMarv lights up a cigarette and puts his hand on Ryan’s shoulder.MARVWe have a new gig. K-Mart wants to have your foot on the front of their new flip flop summer fun campaign.RYAN(frustrated)Fuck K-Mart! I don’t want to model their cheap ass shit. Only poor people shop there Marv.MARVHey we are talking about bread here. Who cares as long as you get paid. You can’t think every job is beneath you.Ryan pulls back from Marv.RYANI don’t know. I don’t want my foot to look low class. I’ll get stuck doing low end modeling and never be able to get the high end gigs.MARVYou are kidding me right? I know you are sick of doing these Pay-Less shoe commercials. I’m giving you a chance to make the big bucks and hell, even get your calves shown.Ryan looks at Marv with an open mouth.RYAN(surprised)They want to go that high?Ryan looks at his calves and flexes them.MARVOh yeah. They want your lower half. Picture it to be the first thing you people see as you walk through the doors. Your beautiful lower half.Marv puts his hand on Rayn’s shoulder. Ryan looks up and envisions the huge sign as he walks into the K-Mart.MARVYou can’t deny that you want to show that skin. Sandals and flip flops are the future of foot wear. Trust me I been in the biz long enough to know.Rayn looks at Marv with uncertainty.MARVHey, it is how you got noticed. Not to mention your brother is making a killing showing those god given toes while you are stuck in those.Ryan looks at the bubble wrap shoes he is wearing.RAYNHow’s Deen?Marv takes out a cigarette and offers Ryan one.MARVYour brother is doing great. In fact he is doing better than you. You two should hang out more it might just smooth up your rocky past. You heard he’s the new Ben Stiller movie coming out? Some kind of world war 2 flick.Ryan looks at Marv astonished then the two gaze at Deen who is standing at the craft service table eating.MARV(whispering)His foot is right there in the first scene. Hell I even heard...Marv takes Ryan’s shoulder then leans into his ear.RYANWhat?The two look at Deen who is getting filmed as he walks in the bubble wrap shoes.MARV(whispering)He is going to be in the movie trailer. He has his own close up.Ryan moves closer to Marv aggressively.RYANWhat kind of close up?MARVA shot were he is flexing the arch of his foot. It’s a standard lower half shot but, It’s for three seconds.RYANShit! Fuck!Ryan breaks away from his agent in anger and jealously.MARVFrom behind it looks just like your foot. Come on don’t let it get you down. Use it as motivation.MARVListen I booked you a gig with him tonight.RAYNWhat!? I’m bitting my lip here. It’s taking everything I got just to be in the same fucking room as him.Marv takes a drag of his cigarette and holds he smoke in his lungs.MARV(suggestive)Listen, if you don’t take a chance on expanding your career then hell, you may just end up being a has been foot model. Like those ones from the twenties that got caught up in heroin and poetry.Marv throws down his cigarette steps then steps on it and exhales as he inches toward Ryan with open arms.MARVHey, it’s me, starving Marvy the super agent.Marv smiles and a gold capped tooth shines under a thick mustache.MARVI’m trying to get you better deals. You just have to be willing to leave hostel you call home. Get a dog and take it for a walk. You might meet some people.Marv and Ryan look at Deen who is showing his foot off to the assistant director. Marv pulls a prescription bottle from his pocket and hands it to Ryan.RYANWhat’s this?MARVThey’re bars. They help me with anxiety. Just think of them as pez for your mood.RYANFor once I’d like to be at a shoot and him not be there.Ryan grits his teeth and looks at Deen briefly before turning around.RYANLook at that smug bastard. Who does he think he is.MARV(encouragingly)Your brother isn't afraid of mixing and mingling with the raising stars. That’s why he’s going to be in a major movie.Ryan takes out a pill bottle and downs some prescribed relief chewing the pills as he swallows them.MARVI’ve watched you and your brother dominate the foot model world. Then I watched him take the reins and forge his own path to foot fame.Marv looks down at Ryan’s foot then up at his face.MARV(sulking)Hell, sometimes when I look at your foot it makes me angry. I don’t think you realize how beautiful your foot is.Marv lights another cigarette.MARVSometimes I can barley look at my.. long black nails and that stupid ugly mole right on the top of my foot that just looks like a smudge of shit!The emotion on Marv’s face is evident.MarvIt’s not my fault that a fungus runs in the family. It’s just bad genes.Marv flicks the cigarette and with the same hand points at Ryan’s foot.MARVNow that’s beauty. You’ve got a god given talent and its your destiny to show those beautiful bare barkers of yours.Marv looks up at Ryan then tilts his head back and snorts loudly causing people from the craft service table to look over disgusted.RYAN(jealously)Then why is my brother getting all the attention? I’m older more talented and damn it my foot is bigger. Plus it has more tint and definition.Ryan holds his head in his hands.RYANHe thinks he’s so much better than me. Who the hell does he think he is?MARVYou should be the one getting the cameos and... hell, even the speaking roles.Ryan looks at Marv as if he cannot believe the words he just heard.RYANAre you saying my brother has a speaking role?Marv touches his moustache.MARVThere are... some rumors floating around... he might have a line in the next Tom Cruise movie.Ryan becomes red with jealousy. He stomps his foot causing some air bubbles on his shoe to bust.MarvYou should talk to him. See and if he can plug you in and get some Hollywood connections.Ryan looks at Marv frustrated.RYAN(angered)That’s your job. You know I haven't spoken to my brother in years.MARVI’m sure he has forgiven you besides you can’t be mad at him forever. Move on. Make the first move and talk to him.Ryan pulls his hair and acts extremely upset.RYAN(tight lipped)Marv You are my agent. Really your like a father. Since our parents died in that freak car wreck when we were six.Marv looks away.RYANWell, you’ve been more like a father slash boss. You know he took that Times Square deal right out from under my feet. I was stabbed in the back. That hurt. He just acts like nothings wrong.Deen entertains a group of people at the craft service table by juggling a hackie sack.RYANSmug son of a bitch.MARVYou two are the top foot models in the world so you can expect to have to work with him again.RAYNI only showed up to this commercial because I’m broke.MARVYeah, and you’ll show up for the next one. You don’t get paid I don’t get paid.Ryan looks at his brother Deen who is now entertaining the director with his hackie sack tricks.RyanSometimes I wonder what it would have been like if you never discovered our feet.The director walks back to the set with his arm around Deen.MARVDon’t say that. You and your brother were born for this.EXT. -- BEACH -- DAYA family runs hand in hand along side an ocean’s rolling waves. The mother then the father let their hands go and hop easily over a jelly fish in his path. They then turn back and look at their two sons following unaware of the looming danger. The father stops and points down at the fish.FATHER(slowly)Watch out!Ryan hops right over it with ease. His foot hovers slightly over the jelly fish as he pauses in mid air with the sun reflecting some gold jewelry hanging off his toes and ankles.FATHERHis foot... It’s so perfect.Ryan clears the jelly fish and his father stands mesmerized staring down at Rayn’s gorgeous foot. The mother and father are caught in amazement staring down at Ryan’s foot as Deen steps right on the jelly fish.DEENOOOOOWWWWW!!!!! My foot!Deen stares down at his foot which is a completely submerged in the jelly fish. He pulls his foot out of the fish and it swells to twice it’s size in a matter of seconds. The father turns to his wife.FATHERAre you thinking what I’m thinking?MOTHERIs that my ankle bracelet and toe ring.The two parents are still looking at Ryan’s feet.FATHERHis foot is beautiful. It should be seen by everyone in the world. Everyone.The father shakes his head in disbelief as he looks at the foot pulling his sun glasses down. Deen drags his foot which, is now four times it’s normal size, through the sand to examine Ryan’s foot.DEENWow! Ryan you do have a beautiful foot.The father slaps Deen on the back of the head.FATHER(furious)He has beautiful feet. That’s both of them Deen. Look at both of his feet.The two brother’s father looks at there mother.FATHERWe got to get him off this sand it could be dangerous.Ryan’s father picks him up in his arms as the family walks off the beach. Deen tries to follow but falls over with three jelly fish on his back.FATHERI think that I know of an agent that could get Ryan here a foot modeling contract. I mean If he can keep his foot looking exactly the way it does right now.Ryan’s father looks back at Deen on the laying on the beach.FATHERHoney tell Deen to stop playing in the sand we have to leave and I don’t want him getting sand in the car.Ryan’s father looks at his wife.FATHERI don’t want anything to touch your foot until Marv looks at it. Honey, come over here and put two zip lock bags around both of his feet. I want them to look exactly the same then as now.Ryan’s father walks off the beach carrying his son with zip lock bags on his feet. Deen rolls in the sand with jelly fish all over him. Somehow he manages to stand peeling the fish off him.INT. -- MARV’S OFFICE -- DAYIn a waiting room several groups of parents with their small children are lined up in chairs against a wall, their bare feet sticking out in front of them. Ryan’s father turns to his son.FATHERThese kids don’t have shit on your feet.A pair of flashy cowboy boots with spurs walk out of a room as the door swings open Marv stands in a tight sparkling gold shirt staring through children like a gun fighter at high noon about to smoke his enemy.FATHERThat’s him. This guy is the best foot model agent in the business.Marv’s spurs attached to his boots spin and a harmonica whales a western note. Ryan’s eyes widen and his father puts an arm around him smiles confidently. Marv walks past the children looking at each of their feet while holding a magnifying glass.MARVFlat feet. Too skinny. Too light. Fat. That’s odd.Marv looks at a small child then leans down to get eye level with him.MARVNext time your mommy and daddy bring you here.Marv leans in closer to the child.MARV(raising his voice)Tell them to clip your fucking toe nails.The small child begins to cry. Marv moves on down the line and suddenly pulls back from a kids foot with a disgusted look on his face. He then moves on to the next one.MARVYou should have a doctor take a look at that.MARVThat’s just plain ugly and.. those are...Marv pauses and uses the magnifying glass to look closer at Ryan’s feet.MARVPerfect.He lowers his head and leans down with a magnifying glass.MARVThis boy has the most beautiful feet I have ever seen.Marv looks Ryan in the eyes then places his hand on Ryan’s shoulder.MARVI’m going to make you a star boy. Your foot will be in every Christmas catalogue... wearing these.Marv holds up a pair of Styrofoam and leather sandals in front of Ryan’s face.MARVThey are called Straps and every Nickelodeon kid star is wearing them. If we put this foot in these sandals.Marv looks at Ryan’s father.MARVThe sky is the limit.Deen walks in the room wearing the strap sandals.DEENWow, these feel good.A scowl runs across Ryan’s face as Marv shoots over to Deen’s foot.MONTAGE: Deen and Ryan’s foot are photographed with several times and put on the cover of many different magazines such as: Kitty slippers, Teen Toes, Fine Feet Are Us, Slippery Sandals, Party Feet, Foot fetishes, Man of Arch, Farmers Almanac, High Times and MAD.RAYN (V.O.)And so it was. The right foot featured always mine and the left always Deen’s.The two trade off on photographs as there feet grow and the magazine titles change They go from living in a slum to a house then an uptown apartment.RYAN (V.O.)It seemed to work. I didn't mind sharing the fame with my brother.On the cover of Rolling Stones magazine Alice Cooper’s feet are replaced on photo shop with Ryan right and Danny’s left foot. They look at the photo of their feet together an high five.Ryan and Deen walk up to Marv and the three pour out champaign then toast.INT. -- PRADA SANDAL SHOOT -- NIGHTRyan sits in a chair with a solum expression surrounded by a studio with cameras. A photographer named Ralf is snapping pictures of his lower half while an eighties song plays in the background.RALFOk, That’s it baby bring that beautiful foot to the left a little. Oh right there.The doors open and Deen walks in with a mink coat and gaudy jewelry. He takes off the coat and shivers. as he takes his coat off he blows a large bubble then pulls it out of his mouth and sucks the air out of it.DEENLost it’s flavor.After it deflates he throws the bubble made from his gum in the trash. Deen then looks at his phone and pulls out another piece of gum and chews it. Ralf runs up to greet Deen.RALFGreat you made it.DEENHold up.RYAN(under his breath)Ok, everybody waits for you.Deen makes a moaning sound.DEENJust a minute I got to moisturize.Deen squirts some lotion on his feet and begins to slowly rub it in.DEENThe epidermis is the most neglected part of the human body.Ralf pokes out his chest which is covered with a tight black shirt. A beret is propped on the side of his head and a gitty expression takes over his face.RALFI am in the presence of the four most beautiful feet in the world. I feel so inspired. What do we need?... Hum... I got it.Ralf tilts his head and twists his blonde soul patch and reaches in his fanny pack.RALFI want you and your brother to stand putting your toes together.Ralf looks around with his pointer finger on his lip in deep thought.RALFWhere is your brother?Deen’s phone rings and he pinches it between his head and his ear.DEENYeah, it’s Deen. Your on the mic what’s your rap? You know who it be.Deen looks at Ryan and puts up his finger for him to wait.DEENThat’s right Mr. Beautiful feet. Right.Deen laughs hysterically as Ryan rolls his eyes.DEENBen what is up brother? I forgot to save your number. Right I thought you really were him. I’m at a shoot right now.Deen holds up his index finger and motions for Ryan and Ralf to wait a minute.DEENSure we can talk Friday. Alright I’ll be there with a thirty pack alright later.Deen hangs up the phone and shakes his head smiling.DEENThat was Ben Stiller. He wants to talk about my feet being in his next film.Deen slips on shower caps over his feet then walks up to Ryan and slaps his arm.DEENHow you been brother?Ryan avoids eye contact.RYANHum.DEENYou know I’m having a party this weekend. You should come by.Ryan pulls out his phone and looks at it in an attempt to ignore his brother.RYANMarv should be here by now.DEENHow is Marv?Deen rolls his eyes and acts a bit perturbed.RYANYeah like you care.DEENI had to move on and branch out. Once you see past his charade the guys really a loser. I wouldn't hurt you to think about replacing him.Ryan furls his brow and angrily looks at his brother.RYANYou know what I don’t get about you? Marv raised practically us and you fucked him over when you got another agent... just like you fucked me over when you went behind my back and stole that add from me.DEENWhoa! First off that was my gig.Ralf continues taking photos.RYANBullshit! I was offered it first and you stole it from me.The two brothers act reluctant to be face to face with each other as Ralf circles their calves snapping pictures. A cell phone rings and both Ryan and Deen reach down into their pockets.Deen then pulls his phone and plugs an ear as he steps away from Ryan. Ralf continues photographing Deen’s foot while he is walking away.DEENWhat up? Yeah I don’t know if I want to make it one of those nights. What’s that? Strippers.Deen walks back over to were Ryan is standing.RALFOk I need you guys to stand on your tippy toes.Ryan stands on his tippee toes and looks taller than Deen. Deen looks at Ryan as he struggles to stay on his toes.RALFYeah baby. Flex those sexy calves. Work it.Deen grows taller hovering over Ryan with ease as he continues his phone conversation.DEENSure, I guess we can go out tonight.Ryan’s phone rings and he immediately answers it.RYANWhere are you? I want to get out of here. The photo shoot is draining me. Deen is acting his usual arrogant self.Deen hangs up his phone and BURPS loudly then twists his foot for Ralf, who is literally getting off on taking these pictures.RALFMan you brothers have got to add some baby oil to these amazing feet.Deen looks at Ryan after hanging up his phone.DEENI need new shoes. I’m thinking about going to get some tomorrow. I would let you go with but,... I am probably going to be meeting up with Ben Stiller and he doesn't like meeting people he doesn't already know. When your a star you just don’t know who is pretending to be your friend.RYANSure, three is a crowd.Ryan’s phone rings in the same tone as Deen’s. Deen reaches for his phone as Ryan quickly slips on a shower cap over each one of his feet. Ryan walks further away from the set and plugs one of his ears as he pulls out his phone.RYANListen man I can’t stay here much longer Deen is hogging the shots and the photographer is just getting on my nerves.Ryan looks back at his brother and Ralf is rubbing baby oil on Deen’s calve muscle.MARV (V.O.)Listen you can’t leave now.RAYNYou don’t understand I got to go.MARV (V.O.)A chick I want you to meet is on her way. She’s a sexy model from the west coast that loves to make guys cum. I think you are going to want to stay.RAYNYou think I am enjoying myself?Ryan watches a gorgeous woman walk in to the shoot.RAYNI think I will stay.A tall athletic model walks in and causes Ryan to block out his entire surroundings while watching her enter.RALF(excited)Melissa! You made it.Ralf kisses Melissa on each cheek then takes off her coat. Ryan looks like a statue still standing in the same manner with a phone pressed against his ear and a mouth hanging open. He is completely mesmerized.MARV (V.O.)Ryan are you there? I said you might want to stay.Ryan hangs up his phone and takes the shower caps from his feet and quickly slides a diamond ring on his pinky toe. He takes a deep breath and proceeds to walk toward Melissa with a mustered up confidence.RYAN(under his breath)Hi, my name is Ryan and you are so hot. No you are so super hot.Ralf is dotting Melissa’s face with make up. He turns her chin in the direction of Ryan’s foot which catches her attention as it glows under a light.MELISSA(amazed)Your foot is amazingly perfect.RYAN(smiling)So I’ve been told. Your name is?Melissa extends her hand but, she continues looking at his foot. Suddenly Deen’s foot steps in to the light beside Ryan’s.DEENMy name is Deen.Deen shakes Melissa’s extended hand. She continues to look at the floor then briefly looks up at the two brothers who are standing in front of her. Then back at their feet. As she looks up her face seems unimpressed by the brother’s upper halves.MELISSAWow, you guys must be related.Ryan curls his upper lip and gives Deen a look of jealousy then slips his foot further to the light.RALFMelissa, this is Ryan and Deen.Ralf picks up his camera and vigorously starts snapping shots of Ryan and Deen’s feet. Ryan takes the diamond toe ring off and places it in a slick black velvet bag.RALFDo you want to join the shot Melissa I wanted to get your face in this sweet pea.Melissa walks toward the brothers very seductively. Deen stares at Melissa’s breast as she walks toward him. Ralf puts his hand on her shoulder and guides her to a metallic stool between Ryan and Deen.RALFSit down baby cakes.RALFDeen I need your left foot on her right leg. This is going to by a ménage a trois of feet.Ralf twists his soul patch.RALFOk, Ryan now you do the same on her other side.Ryan winks at Melissa and Props his foot on her leg.MELISSAWow your foot smells delicious.Ryan smiles.RYANPumpkin spice. It’s a holiday scent.Ralf makes a quite sign with his finger on Melissa’s lips.RALF(with a lisp)Foot magazines are pay thousands to have this on the cover.Deen winks at Melissa as he wiggles his toes. Ralf looks at the pose the three are in then twists his soul patch and tilts his head in deep thought.RALFBaby cakes, I am going to need you to take off your top. I need a shot of your nipples right behind their big toes.Ralf gasps with his hand over his moth as he frames the shot with his hands.RALFThis is the money shot.Deen and Ryan can’t stop staring at Melissa’s breast.MELISSAYou know... I’m not really comfortable with doing a topless shot.RALFDon’t be a diva. Your fucking model. It’s your job to show your body.MELISSAI’m sorry I just can’t do this.Deen looks at Ryan as Melissa walks away from the shoot.RALFAre you kidding me? Oh my God what a diva.RAYNI think I’m in love.DEENShe is so hot.RYANAnd modest.A sour expression sweeps across Ryan’s face as he looks at Deen realizing that he might have some competition.RYANI see what you are trying to do. Don’t even think about it. She is mine.Rayn looks at Deen furiously and a competition rages in his eyes.DEENDon’t tell me I’m going to have to kick your ass just to rightfully claim what is mine.RALFYou boys haven't learned yet? All models are superficial glamor whores.The two brothers completely ignore Ralf and his remarks.RYANKick my ass? Ha! Now that’s some funny shit.Rayn laughs and puts his hand on his head then messages his temple. Ralf continues snapping pictures of the two brothers feet.RALFAngry feet. I love it.Ryan gets in his brothers face and spits as he talks.RAYNWow! You sound like you actually have a shot with her.DEENAs good as any. It wasn't her shyness of the camera that caused her to leave. It was your breath.Deen holds his nose and walks away from his brother.DEENHey, shit breath I’m getting her number first.RYANYeah good luck. Rejection is a bitch.Deen laughs and slips on his futuristic bubble wrap shoes which immediately vacuum seal to his feet.EXT. -- STEPS OF MODELING BUILDING -- NIGHTDeen runs out of the building’s lobby. Melissa is walking away and he jogs to catch up with the model.DEENHey!Melissa turns around as Deen runs up to her. Ryan watches the two from the seventh floor window of the building Melissa was just in.DEENI want to apologize for Ralf. He is just one of those goofy guys who think a woman’s body is a work of art. I can assure you he meant no harm.Melissa looks at Deen and smiles.MELISSAI’m sorry that was real unprofessional of me to run out like that. I just feel uncomfortable about taking my clothes off.DEENHey, whoa. You don’t have to apologize. I completely understand. If he ever asked me to take my shirt off I would fell the same way. I just know he will never ask me to do that because my breast don’t need to be seen. Plus I have this third nipple that has been growing since birth and well it is really pretty deformed.Melissa laughs then brushes her hair back out of her face.DEENWow. You are hot and I bet you get told that all the time.MELISSAMostly by people taking my picture.DEENI can kind of relate. All I ever hear is how beautiful my feet are.MELISSAYou do have beautiful feet.DEENWell thank you.Melissa warms her arms in an attempt to warm them.DEENListen I am about to get a bite to eat and I was wondering if you would like to go with me.Melissa does not answer Deen immediately.DEENLet me buy you dinner. I know this place that is really close. It is the least I can do after what happened up there.Melissa looks up and notices Ryan staring down at her. He quickly walks away from the window.MELISSAYeah, sure I guess I can go for a bite to eat.Ryan reappears in the window and watches Melissa and Deen walk down the street together.INT. -- PRADA SANDAL SHOOT -- NIGHTRalf walks up to the window and looks at Ryan who stands mesmerized by his brother’s success with Melissa. Ryan takes out his pill bottle and swallows a few.RALFLooks like your brother likes the shy bitch. Walk out on my shoot. Huh. Who does that whore think she is.RYANYou are a real asshole you know that Ralf.RALFI can afford to be. That is why I work with models.Ryan walks out of the photo shoot.RALFHey where are you going? At least I’m not straight.INT. -- ITALIAN RESTAURANT -- NIGHTThe restaurant is dimly lit and Melissa sits in a booth in front of Deen. He is cowing down bread dipping and swabbing it in marinara sauce.DEEN(mouth full)So are you from New York or did you just move here.MELISSAI am originally from Texas. I moved up here when I was sixteen to start my modeling career. Pretty been since then.DEEN(mouth still stuffed full of food)Everything’s bigger in Texas.MELISSAI beg your pardon?Deen takes a drink washing he food down.DEENEverything is Bigger in Texas. You never heard that expression?MELISSA(unimpressed)Oh, right yeah.DEENSo did your parents make you model?MELISSANo I wanted to.DEENMy parents were killed when I was just a little kid. They were hit by a drunk driver.MELISSA(sympathetic)I’m so sorry.DEENIt’s ok. I don’t really remember a whole lot about them.Deen leans back in his chair and rubs his stomach.DEENGod,... that was good. Are you going to eat your soup.Melissa seems to be more interested in a Marinara stain on Deen’s shirt than her food.MELISSAYes. I’m just a slow eater. My parents always told me I ate like a bird.DEENThat’s pretty fucked up that your parents would make fun of you like that.Melissa looks at Deen confused when suddenly his brother Ryan shows up wearing his fur coat which he takes off and hands to the waiter.RYANHey, funny running into you guys here.DEENWhat do you mean I eat here every day and this is the first time I’ve ever seen you pop in.Ryan extends his hand to Melissa.RYANI am sorry I did not get a chance to properly introduce myself at the shoot earlier. The name is Ryan.Ryan leans in over Deen to Kiss Melissa’s hand. Deen coughs awkwardly loud.DEENMelissa and I were just in the middle of a meal here.MELISSAWell actually I was done.RYANGreat, I am starving I will join you.Ryan looks at Melissa seductively then pulls up a chair and sits at the end of the booth.RYANYou don’t mind do you?MELISSANot all.Deen looks at Ryan agitated.DEENWell kind of.Ryan motions to a waiter.RYANA bottle of wine for the table.WAITERWhat kind sir.RYANSomething cheap but, good.Deen and the waiter look at Ryan like he’s an idiot.RYANSo I’m talking to Ralf, you know the guy taking our pictures, and it struck me. For the first time I realized what a dick that guy is.DEENHe is what he eats.Deen laughs hysterically at his joke for several seconds as Melissa stares at his Marinara stain.DEENOhhh... Sometimes I just kill myself.RYANSometimes I wish you did.Ryan laughs to himself hysterically. Deen and Melissa sit looking right past Ryan’s shoulder. Ryan looks behind his shoulder and notices the waiter is still standing there with his coat and a blank expression.WAITERWhat type of wine would you like sir?The waiter looks at Ryan with a fed up expression.RYANYou pick it out. If I like it then I’ll tip you well.Ryan looks back at Deen and Melissa. Deen shakes his head in disbelief that Ryan has interrupted his dinner.RYANSo where were we?Ryan looks over at Melissa.RAYNI’m sure my brother Deen has already told you all about me.MELISSAYou two are brothers?RYANOf course. Why do you think we both are foot models? It’s not hard work, its genetics. For example take yourself Melissa. Now if you were to be burned or disfigured you probably wouldn't know what to do with yourself.Deen looks at Ryan with disbelief.RYANYou take care of your face for that very reason. I go to great lengths to make sure my foot gets pedicures at least twice a week plus I wear a foot condom twenty four seven and only take it off for shoots.The waiter steps up to the table and presents the bottle of wine to Ryan.WAITEROur finest cab sir.RYANI didn't ask you to call a cab.The waiter looks confused.RYANOhh, I thought you meant a cab. I was about to say I’m not leaving.The waiter presents the wine.RYANGreat! Lets get a cheese board started.WAITERExcellent. Shall I prepare Asiago, Manchega, goat cheese, and white chedder.RYANYeah and some crackers.Ryan gives Melissa a cheesy grin.DEENSo Melissa, have you ever dated a body part model?Melissa smiles.MELISSAI have dated models but, never a foot model if that is what your asking. I do have friends that do body part modelling.RYANAshton, a model, once told me he would trade his face for my foot. I told him it wasn't a fair trade for me because I love my feet more than my face.Ryan pours out the wine then raises his glass for a toast.RAYNTo your face and my feet.Melissa and Ryan toast but, Deen just sits looking pissed at his brother.RYANMy feet are my lively hood. Hell, my brother will tell you his feet are almost as perfect as mine.Ryan forces out a longer than normal. The awkward laugh leaves Melissa mildly amused. Deen is not paying one bit of attention to what Ryan has to say. In fact he is looking around the restaurant in an attempt to ignore him.RAYNSo Melissa where are you from?MELISSAWell, I was born in Texas and lived there till I was about sixteen. Then I came here to New York City.RYANWhat brought you to the big apple.MELISSAK-mart. They were doing a teen back to school model search. My mom sent a picture of me to some agent and we moved here. I guess you could say that my mom put me up to it and I’m glad she did. There are a lot of perks to being a model.The cheese board arrives.RYANFunny you mention K-Mart.Ryan touches the waiter on the arm.RYAN(aggravated)The wine you picked out was a bit sour. I would like another bottle please. This time make it a bottle of Don.Ryan looks at Melissa then Deen with superiority.RYAN(arrogantly)Nothing but, the mother fucking best.Ryan takes out a piece of gum he was chewing and quickly replaces it with another.DEENThe cheese looks really good. Thanks for picking up the tab for all of this.MELISSA(gratefulYes thank you Ryan. Are you always so generous to people you just meet.Ryan reaches in his pants then hands Melissa a card from his pocket.RYANHere is my card, call me if you ever need anything.Ryan takes his gum out and sticks it on the side of the cheese board. He then sucks a breath in very loudly.RYANDamn that’s juicy.Ryan sucks in a couple more quick breathes.RyanLike sugar on Christmas morning. Go ahead drink that wine up guys lets get sloppy.DEENWow Ryan It’s been a while since I’ve seen this side of you.RYANThat’s right brother I’m wild as the taliban.Ryan begins pouring more wine in to Melissa’s glass.MELISSAThat’s plenty.Ryan continues pouring.DEENRyan she said that was enough.RYANDon’t worry Deen You will get some there is another bottle coming.Spilling the wine he begins filling up Deen’s glass.DEENRyan, I really don’t feel like drinking. Really just stop man.Ryan sets the wine glass down.RYANDeen, Marv is right about you. You got tiny balls. How you make it in this industry I’ll never know.DEEN(offended)Hey! When times were down and gigs got low for me I did some foot fetish work.Ryan pulls his head back in an attempt to look shocked.DEENI’m not proud of it but, I had to eat. It made me the man I am today.Melissa looks at Deen awkwardly.RYANThat’s a little bit too much information bro. I don’t know if I could handle someone jacking off to my feet.Ryan looks at Melissa giggling.DEENI know what this is all about. You have come here to show off because deep down you know for once in my life I am more important than you and it’s eating you up inside.Ryan cocks his head back and chugs the wine.DEENAnother thing, I could give a fuck about what you think of me.The waiter presents the Bottle of expensive Champaign to Ryan who nods his head.RYAN(spitefully)Oh, I see your foot is in one Ben Stiller movie and your head swells up like balloon.MELISSAMaybe I should leave.Melissa grabs her purse and Ryan places his hand on her arm.RYANNo you should stay. Tonight my brother and I are celebrating. Did you hear his foot has a part in the new Ben Stiller movie.Ryan motions for the waiter as he walks by.RYANWaiter bring another bottle of champaign.WAITERSir I just brought you one are you sure.Ryan points at the waiter.RYAN(pissed)If you want to get tipped then bring another.WAITERYes sir.Deen turns and looks at Melissa.DEENWould you like me to walk you to your car?Melissa nods and the two stand up. Melissa extends her hand to Ryan.MELISSAIt was very nice meeting you Ryan.RYANOh come on, do you really have to go?MELISSAI promised my boyfriend I would be at his place by ten.RYAN(surprised)You have a boyfriend? What is his name.Deen attempts to leave.DEENCome on Melissa Ryan has another bottle to finish.MELISSAHis name is Patrick Wriggley.RYANNice first name. Well, shit it was awesome meeting you. We should do this again. Glass of wine for the road.Ryan holds up a glass for MelissaRYANCome on down it.Ryan hands Melissa the glass and she chugs the wine then gives the glass back to him.RYANWhoa. That a girl.Melissa smiles back at Ryan and he raises his eyebrows at her.DEENAlright Ryan. I will be seeing you later.RYANCool dude. Well we have to finish the shoot. Ralf will be pissed if he doesn't get his martini shot. Alright, I’ll hit you later.Deen and Melissa are walking out of the restaurant. Ryan looks around the restaurant.RYANI’m just going to finish all this wine and I’ll see you guys later.The waiter walks up behind Ryan as he holds up the wine glass to Melissa who is now walking out the door.WAITERIs everything ok sir?RYANOh, yeah. More cheese please. Just bring a whole board of goat cheese.WAITEROk, sure thing sir.The waiter walks away and Ryan sets the wine glass down then glances once around the restaurant as he walks to the door. Ryan walks through the door and inconspicuously runs out leaving the empty table full of wine and cheese.The waiter returns to the table with another bottle of wine and board of cheese. He looks around the restaurant then back at the table with his teeth gritted and his fore head wrinkled.WAITERWhere did he go?People in the restaurant turn to look at the upset waiter as he runs to the door and looks out.WAITERWhat a dick!EXT. -- MELISSA’S CAR -- NIGHTDeen walks Melissa walk to her car then stops right before reaching the trunk.DEENMelissa, I want to apologize for Ryan. He has been an ass hole to me since I got some ad on Times square. It’s like the jealously has consumed him to the point he never returned my phone calls. I had to contact his agent just to get him this gig just to try and speak with him. Hopefully we can do this again with a different photographer.Melissa smiles and hugs Deen.MELISSAYou are so sweet. Listen, my boyfriend is hosting a party at his loft on fifty second. Its close to here would you like to come?Deen looks at Melissa Baffled by the offer.DEEN(surprised)Are you serious? Wow! yeah, I would love to come.MELISSAPeople are coming over at around ten so I will call you at about nine with directions.DEENCool I’m looking forward to it.Deen awkwardly hugs Melissa and she kisses him slightly on the cheek. Ryan Peers at the two from around a street corner.RYAN(to himself)Well, I guess we got a little competition. That buffalo headed no talent prick.A smug look takes over Ryan’s face and he walks silently away disgusted by what he has seen.INT. -- RYAN’S APARTMENT -- NIGHTThe apartment is very modern with pictures and sculptures of Ryan’s foot covering the walls a large sculpture is in the center of the room. Ryan takes off his mink coat then his bubble wrap shoes. He walks to a leather chair grabs a remote control then falls into the chair as if exhausted and fatigued. Ryan’s cell phone rings. He answers it.RYANYour on what’s the deal.MARV (V.O.)Hey it’s me.RAYNWhere you aware that my brother was going to be at the shoot tonight. I mean don’t get me wrong the Melissa chick was hot. I want to wear her ass as a face mask and smell that sweet divide.Marv coughs and gags on the other line as if he about to through up. The screen splits and Marv is visible on the right half. He is in his apartment and it is a complete mess of clothes food boxes and beer bottles.RYANYou ok?MARVYeah, your brother wasn't supposed to be there. I think his agent spoke to Ralf last minute. Did you take a bar?RYANYeah I took two. Are they supposed to make me feel tired.MARVYeah a little bit. That’s why you drink something with caffeine it to keep you up.RYANWell I was definitely more at ease during the shoot tonight. Melissa left the shoot early because Ralf wanted her to show her tits.MARVYeah there nice.RYANWell, she’s just not that type of model.MARVShe was in play two years ago and pent house, hustler and I think slut fest.RYANWow. Are you sure?MARVI’d have to check again but I think so.Marv opens up a pent house magazine and flips through it as Ryan pulls a bucket of fried chicken and a beer from his fridge.RYANThe only thing is she has a boyfriend. Why ids it all the good ones are taken. Marv I want you to try and schedule another shoot with us together.MARV (V.O.)I will talk to her agent. She owes me a few favors.Ryan squirts a large glob of lotion in his hand and begins to rub his foot.RYANIn the mean time I want you to get some info on Patrick Wriggly. Dig up whatever you can on him.Ryan hangs up the phone and opens the pill bottle Marv handed him and looks at a pill in his hand then throws down his throat. He leans his head back and props up his foot on a chair.RYANTime to file the pimp nails.He opens a drawer and pulls out a toe nail grooming kit and a magnifying glass. Ryan begins to delicately shave down his toe nail. As he stares through the glass two of his toes begin to morph into faces.RYANHuh?...One toe takes on the resemblance of his face and the other Melissa’s. His toes begin to kiss each other as they grow arms and embrace.EXT. -- BEACH -- SUNSETRyan walks down the beach holding Melissa’s hand as the sunsets. The two walk on to a dance floor lit by tiki torches. They dance with a gentle grace as Ryan holds Melissa’s bottom in his hands.RYANYou are so beautiful.MELISSAYou are too.RYANI love you.MELISSAI want to suck your big toe.A bed suddenly appears on the dance floor and the two crawl into it. Melissa begins to cry as she willingly lets Ryan force his foot in her mouth. Ryan pulls his foot out of her mouth then leans down and starts kissing her. As he begins to make love to Melissa a RINGING sound echoes catching both their attention.INT. -- RYAN’S APARTMENT -- NIGHTRyan awakes in his chair as his phone RINGS on the table beside him. He picks up the phone and holds it against his ear as he wipes off his face and shakes his head trying to regain consciousness. The screen splits as Ryan answers the phone.RYAN(drowsy)Hello.MARVHey it’s Marv.Marv lights up a smoke on the other line. He is on the toilet feeding a turtle in a dirty bowl by his rest room sink.RYANYeah what’s up?MARVI found out a few interesting things about that Pat wriggly guy. You google his name and his youtube videos pop up. This guy is suppose to be some kind of musician.Marv flushes the toilet and gets up with a piece of long tissue stuck between his butt cheeks.MARVHe gets over a million views on anything he puts up. The songs are halfway funny and somewhat catchy. He just has a hell of a fan base.RYAN(curious)What’s one of his songs?MarvHe’s got one called Oreo Rap. It’s ok but, get this apparently he still lives with his mom so he can’t be that big of a internet sensation.RYANHow old is his guy?MARVHis profile said twenty nine.RYANThirty and still living at home, this guy sounds like a loser. I wonder what Melissa see’s in him.MARVHe seems to have a loyal fan base. Some woman runs a fan space for him on the web. I contacted her and she’s his mom. Apparently she lives with him as a maid he even pays her to clean up after him.Ryan scoffs and the two share a brief laugh.RYANHe sounds like an ass.MARVBottom line he’s got no talent. He’s just some over night youtube hot shot.Ryan looks at his toes and shakes his head as he tries to forget his odd dream. Marv is on the other line trying to clip his long black nails.MARVYour the number one foot model in NYC, so don’t worry about that guy you will be Melissa’s pants by the end of the week.RYANI don’t know what if she really cares about this guy?MARVI don’t think so. He lives at home still. She obviously can’t love this guy.Marv squeezes extremely hard on the clippers causing a nail to pop off and hit the wall. He puts out his cigarette and lights another. Ryan gets up and opens his fridge then grabs a box of Chinese food left overs.MARVListen Melissa’s agent owes me a few favors. Let me get on the phone and see if I can’t get you guys together on another shoot.RYANThis time without my brother there and try and get a photographer that doesn't want her to strip.MARV(defensive)Hey! Ralf is an artist it’s not my fault that the bitch is a prude.RYAN(offended)Hey watch out. Your idea of a woman lives under your bed and requires lotion and air.MARVI might take offense to that if I didn't have Shelly to keep me warm at night.RYAN(concerned)How is Shelly?MARVShe is visiting her parents but, she will be back in a week.Marv swallows a gulp of whiskey and pushes a blow up doll on his floor under his bed.MARVI’m sorry your brother has gotten so popular. I’m doing all I can to rep your name in this city. I’ll do my best to get the two of you together just don’t get pissed if your game is a little rusty.RAYNYou know you are more than an agent, your a close friend. My brother may have left you but, I know sticking with you was the right thing to do and it will pay off.Marv feeds a small turtle in a bowl in the corner of his room. The split screen ends and it is just Marv making a bowl of beer cereal.MARVListen, while you wait for this thing with Melissa to work out you need to at least get some kind of a slump buster. There has got to be some lonely house wife you can break off a piece of cookie for.RYANI can handle Melissa I just need to get Deen out of the picture.Marv sprinkles food in the turtle bowl. He then holds the turtle in his hand and blows smoke in it’s face.MARVWhat’s wrong with you? Your not eating.RYANWhat?MARVOh, nothing. Listen, I think I have an idea to take Deen out of the picture. Or his foot rather.RYANGo ahead I’m listening.MARVHis birthday is coming up.Marv sets the turtle down on is table and props his foot up and begins to clip his long black toe nails again. His feet are miraculously grotesque.MARVWhy don’t you just repackage my toe nail grooming kit. If he uses it without proper sterilization it would take his toes out of the picture for a good bit.Ryan holds his chin and looks up in deep thought as Marv cringes to clip his fungus ridden black nails. After snapping a nail off he takes the clippers and blows gently then hacks and coughs on them.RYANThat actually sounds like a thoughtful idea.MARVI’ll bring you the gift tomorrow. I’ll have it wrapped so give it to him as soon as you can.Ryan grabs the remote by his chair and turns on the television then begins watching a football game.MARVYou want to grab a beer somewhere?RYANI don’t know man those bars got me out of it. I’m pretty sleepy.MARVTake as many as you need I got another prescription. Well, Call me tomorrow.RYANAlright later.MARVOne more thing. I have a friend that might get you a bit of recognition. I’ll dress up like a mugger and let you kick my ass.RYANI don’t know what if she calls the cops.MARVYour thinking about it too much. Just trust me.Ryan hangs up the phone and stares at the television. His eyes begin to close as his head sits propped in his hand.INT. -- STADIUM -- NIGHTA large stadium is full of screaming fans on their feet cheering for the team with the ball. The huddle breaks and Ryan walks behind the large line men who jog up to the line of scrimmage. As the big line men get down in their three point stance Ryan gets behind the center.FAN IN THE CROWD(enthusiastically)Hell yeah! I live for this game.He looks to the sideline and watches the cheerleaders shake their pom-poms when his eyes look directly at Melissa who is one of the cheerleaders on the sideline. She looks back at him efficaciously and blows him a kiss.RAYNThis T.D. Is for you.Ryan returns the kiss with a wink. The defense lines up on the offense. A snarling Deen is lined up on the d-line. Deen is huge muscular and bare footed. He drools as he anticipates the ball to snap.RYANDown set hike.Ryan draws back with the ball and is immediately leveled by Deen. Ryan opens his eye and Deen is on top of him with his face mask pressed against Ryan’s. Drool drips from Deen’s mouth to Ryan’s face. A stream of drool dangles from Deen’s lip and lands on Ryan’s face.DEENThere’s always room for one more.When Deen gets up he does a stomping dance and taunts the opposing teams sideline. Ryan struggles to his feet and Deen points at him laughing.DEENYeah baby, I bring that wood. Your going down.Ryan looks over at Melissa who is on the sideline licking her lips and touching her breast. He then looks back at Deen who points at melissa pulling on his crotch.RYANOk, get in here.Ryan pulls his team mates together in a huddle and looks up at them as he takes a knee.RYANYou boys better block this time. I’m going for the touch down. Hell Mary Twenty eight fly on three ready break!Deen squeezes his fist and rubs his hands together as he lines up against Ryan’s offensive line men.DEENHey Ryan, your ass is grass.Deen pulls grass out of the field and throws it in the wind. Ryan’s eyes widen as he looks down at Deen who snarls and kicks his foot back like a bull. Ryan places his hands under the center still keeping an eye on Deen.RYANTwo eight! Two eight! Set hit! Hit!Ryan looks at Melissa then back at Deen who’s leg is twitching and foot twisting into the field.RYANHit!The ball is snapped into Ryan’s hands and he pulls back watching his receivers take off down the field. Deen blows by the offensive tackle pumping his arms in a mad dash toward Ryan.DEEN(viciously)Your mine now.Ryan spins around as Deen grabs hold of his Jersey. Deen slips letting go of Ryan then gets up and Charges at him again. This time going full speed with a head full of steam Deen slams into Ryan just as he lets go of the foot ball.RYANAhhh!The two slam to the ground and Ryan lifts up his head.RYAN(hopeful)Come on. Catch it.Both Ryan and Deen look up as the ball sails down field. The ball starts to descend as the receiver jumps above his defenders. Deen and Ryan watch the ball intensely.INT. -- RYAN’S APARTMENT -- NIGHTThe phone RINGS waking Ryan from his slumber.RYANHello.MELISSA (V.O.)Ryan it’s Melissa. I’m not waking you up, am I?RYANNo I was just watching the game. I’m glad you called. Is everything ok?Ryan looks at his watch sitting on the table beside him. Then takes the remote and clicks off the football game on the television.MELISSA(talking over a party in the background)Yeah, you want to come to a party. Your brother Deen’s here he said it would be cool to call you.Melissa hiccups. Ryan gets up from his chair and looks at himself in a bathroom mirror then flips on the light and draws back from his reflection.RYAN(under his breath)Wake up.MELISSAI didn't hear that. Are you sure I didn't wake you up?RYANYeah, yeah I’m golden. Wide awake!MELISSAYou didn't answer me. Do you want to come to a party?People in the back ground are talking in loud drunk voices over rap music. Ryan opens the pill bottle and drops another one down his throat then takes a drink of water from the bathroom sink.RYANAbsolutely. Where is it at?EXT. -- NEW YORK STREET -- NIGHTSnow begins to fall as Ryan waves down a cab in front of his apartment. The cab lets Ryan out in front of the apartment and he walks through a door and into a small room next to a wall of mail boxes. Ryan pushes a button next to a speaker.RYANYeah it’s Ryan.PATRICK (V.O.)Who?RYANRyan. Melissa told me to come.PATRICK (V.O.)Ryan, oh yeah the foot model. Come on up.The door buzzes and Ryan opens it then proceeds to walk up the steps. Ryan approaches a door with loud music coming from behind it. He starts to knock on the door but, it suddenly opens before he touches it. Behind the door is a young man with funky dyed and moosed tossed hair. He is wearing a purple robe and holding a drink in his hand.PATRICKHey, come in. Ryan right.RYANYeah.PATRICKYour brother is so hilarious. I didn't realize you both were foot models that is too cool. Go on in there’s food and drinks so help yourself to whatever.Patrick looks down at Ryan’s shoes.PATRICKIf you don’t mind take your shoes off.RYAN(apprehensive)Sure.Patrick walks away from the door and to a group of people formed in a semi circle around a guy holding a camera. Ryan grabs a beer from a cooler and walks around the party aimlessly.An older woman with an extremely long nose is wearing a bikini and dancing by herself. She stares at Ryan seductively. She lifts her arms and there are white/yellow clumps of deodorant hanging from stray hairs under her arm pits.OLDER WOMANHey baby want to dance with me.RYANNice swim suit but no thanks.There is a fog machine and a large bright projection of lava bubbling on the apartment wall. People are dancing in different corners of the room to the point that the party is broken into several smaller groups. Across the room Ryan spots Deen and Melissa laughing.MELISSARyan come over here.Ryan guzzles down his beer and grabs two more from a cooler beside him. He walks up to the small group were Deen gives him a nod. Melissa gives him a hug.MELISSAYou made it.DEENI’m going to get another drink, Melissa are you good?The tempo of the music changes to a slower more ambient sound as Deen walks up to the group of guys around the camera.MELISSAI’m glad you came. I want you to meet my friends. Ryan this is Jerry.RYANNice to meet you.Jerry, a Neanderthal looking man with a tight shirt, grips Ryan’s hand. The guy is completely wired and has a bit of white powder under his nose.MELISSALast but, not least Cliff.Cliff extends his elbow at Ryan and Ryan shakes his elbow.MELISSACliff is a hand model and Jerry is a back and butt double for all the action stars.Jerry has normal features with the exception of his back and butt which are more muscular than any other part of his body.MELISSADo that thing with your butt Jerry.Jerry turns around and bounces his butt cheeks with vigor as he smiles at Ryan.RYANExcellent.CLIFFSo Melissa tells us your a foot model.RYANIt’s a way to make a living.Cliff stares at Ryan’s feet.JERRYThat must explain the plastic wrap around your feet.RYANYeah it’s sort of like a foot condom. It keeps my booties clean and free from scratches.Deen is by Patrick talking and suddenly moon walks across the floor as the man with the camera to focuses his attention on Deen’s dance moves. Deen throws his jacket on a guys head.CLIFFWe met your brother Deen. He’s a foot model too right?RYANYeah.CLIFFThat’s awesome. I wish my feet looked like that. All I have is my hands.Cliff lifts his hands and they are covered with tight black gloves that go all the way up to his elbow.CLIFFSo, how did you get in the business.Ryan looks over at Melissa who is captivated by Deen’s ability to entertain the crowd. Deen begins freak dancing with the old lady in the swim suit.CLIFFYou know being a body part model.RYANI’ve been doing it for a while now.Ryan looks over at Deen as people begin to gravitate to the crowd watching Deen dance. An older woman dressed as a maid walks out of a room and begins cleaning up a spilt glass of wine. Patrick walks up to were his mother is cleaning the floor and drops a lit cigarette beside the spilt glass of wine.PATRICKMom! Go in your room you are embarrassing me. You can clean up tomorrow.PATRICK’S MOTHERHoney just let my put something down to soak this spill up.Patrick kneels down beside his mother as she scrubs on the floor.PATRICKI said beat it. Go to your room and don’t come out until the party is over.RYANExcuse me.Ryan walks away from the group and up a flight of stairs onto the apartments fire escape. He finishes the beer and drops it on the street below.RYANWhat the hell?Ryan blinks his eyes as he watches a couple begin to make love through a window across the street. The couple looks at Ryan the shuts the blinds.RYANGood night. I should have stayed in bed.The bottle busts and Ryan leans over the balcony as he finishes the other beer in his hand. Ryan BURPS and makes a sour expression. Melissa slowly walks out on to the fire escape.MELISSAHey how’s it going?RYANUhm. Fucking great.Ryan spits and watches it fall. Melissa pulls out a joint and lights it taking a few puffs then passes it to Ryan. Ryan looks at it and takes a long drag.MELISSAEasy it’s not a cigarette.Ryan passes the joint back to Melissa and starts to laugh uncontrollably.MELISSAYou just don’t give a shit do you.RYANPardon me?MELISSAYour crazy like your brother but, I guess you are just playing the quite guy tonight.Melissa sways and grabs hold of Ryan’s arm to gain her balance.RYANDo you like that?MELISSAI do.RYANSo does your boyfriend keep his mom locked in her room every time your over here.MELISSAWe are not together anymore.RYANSo he is not your boyfriend.MELISSANope.RYANSo why are you over here?MELISSATo drink.Ryan looks at melissa and she smiles back at him.MELISSAI was going to tell him tonight but, I don’t want to spoil the party.RYANHow considerate of you.Melissa passes the joint back to Ryan and he immediately sucks it down with several huge puffs.MelissaYour different from other models, you know that.RYANYour fucking hot.MELISSAYour feet are fucking hot.Melissa looks down at Ryan’s feet then off the fire escape and down at the street. Ryan looks up at the sky and opens his mouth catching a snow flake on his tongue.RYANI’m thirsty.Melissa laughs and nudges closer to Ryan.MELISSAI’m cold.RYANI’m hungry.MELISSADo you want to get some waffles? I haven't had waffles in so long.RYANRight now?MELISSARight now.RYANYeah, sure lets go.EXT. -- NEW YORK STREET -- NIGHTRyan and Melissa walk down a street and from behind them a man runs up with a gun in his pocking out of his pocket at Melissa and Ryan. The mugger is wearing a ski mask and Juicy pants.MUGGERGive me your purse bitch.RYAN(fearful)Don’t hurt us here just take the money.MUGGERHurry up! Unless you want to die bitch!The familiar mugger winks at Ryan.RYAN(under his breath)Marv?MELISSAOk, just please don’t hurt us.The Marv the mugger grabs Melissa’s purse and takes off running. Ryan looks at Melissa then takes off running after him.MELISSARyan don’t! He’s got a gun! Somebody help us!The Marv disguised as the mugger rounds a street corner followed by Ryan. As soon as he rounds the corner he pulls up the ski mask and hands Ryan back the purse.MARVJust relax your going to look like the shit.Marv grabs the corner of the building and screams.MARV/MUGGER(screaming)Don’t hurt me! Just take the purse back.Marv gives Ryan a thumbs up and runs away. Ryan rounds the corner and walks back towards Melissa.MELISSAAre you ok?Ryan holds out her purse as he walks up to her she grabs him with a hug.MELISSAYou could have been killed.Melissa finds a man walking down the street and calls out to him.MELISSAI’m going to get him to call the cops.Ryan touches her hand then holds out her purse.RYANDon’t bother by the time they show up he will be long gone. I think I broke his arm getting your purse back so I doubt he will coming back for seconds.Melissa hugs Ryan again then kisses his cheek.RAYNLet’s just forget about this and get something to eat.Melissa hugs Ryan tightly.MELISSAI can’t believe you risked your life just to get my purse back that was so stupid... and so brave.Melissa stands on her toes and kisses Ryan briefly and unexpectedly on the lips.MELISSADon’t ever do that again.INT. -- THE GREASY SPOON (DINER) -- NIGHTThe restaurant has the decor of an old fashion diner from the fifties. Melissa and Ryan sit in a booth as a waitress, dressed in red and white, walks up to the table and places two large plates of waffles in front of Ryan and Melissa.MELISSAThis looks so good. I’m starving.Ryan picks up the syrup and begins to let a long steady stream pour on to his plate. Then with out stopping the pour moves it on Melissa’s plate and smothers her waffles in syrup.MELISSAI still can’t believe you ran after that mugger the way you did.RYAN(arrogantly)What makes you say that? I’m not afraid of some low life with a gun.MELISSAI’ve never seen anyone do something like that. That was really dangerous.RYANI laugh at danger.MELISSASpeaking of laugh your brother was hilarious at the party tonight. I didn't know he was that funny.RYANYeah, a real hoot.MELISSAI know you and your brother don’t really get along but, you should try to. Family is the most important thing you have in this world.RYANWe get along.MELISSACome on.RYANWhat?MELISSAWell, you barley acknowledged him at the party.RYANI didn’t see him in there I wasn't really looking for him either?MELISSAExactly. Really it’s none of my business but, maybe you should try to be nice to him even if you don’t mean it. He might could help your career.RYAN(defensive)I don’t need any help. I’m doing just fine. Besides, what makes you think I enjoy getting stabbed in the back?MELISSAAll I’m saying is that it might make you feel better just to do a little good when you don’t have to.Ryan then brings the never ending stream of syrup back to his plate. He finishes the pour and looks at Melissa as he takes a large bite of the waffles. Ryan has syrup dripping off his chin causing Melissa to laugh. He feeds Melissa a large bite of waffles.RYANGood?MELISSAThat’s good. You have some.Melissa points to her chin.RYANWhat?Melissa laughs at Ryan’s facial expression of denial.RYANYou sure?Melissa nods then leans across the table and kisses Ryan. Ryan touches the side of her head and Melissa’s hair sticks to his fingers as he pulls his hand away from her head.RYANAlright now that was good.Ryan feeds her a large bite and the two chew together not saying a word just looking at each other.INT. -- RYAN’S APARTMENT -- DUSK (NEXT DAY)A BUZZ wakes Ryan. He sits up naked in his bed. He looks down at the sheets are thrown on the floor. Ryan answers the phone and looks around him lazily.RYANHello.MARV (V.O.)It’s Marv let me up.Ryan walks over to a speaker by his door and presses a button. He then walks back to his bed and slips on some shorts. The door opens and Marv walks in holding a bag and blowing his nose.MARVYou look well rested.RYANYou won’t believe what happened last night.Marv pulls out a box from the bag that is gift wrapped with a bow.MARVYour gift to your brother.Ryan looks at Marv with caution as he hands over the gift.MARVDon’t worry, I washed my hands before I wrapped it. You look half asleep your brother’s premier is in an hour you got to get ready.RYANMarv I had the most amazing night. The funny thing is I don’t remember half of it.MARVShit, how many bars did you take?RAYNOh, that reminds me I’m going to need to get some more of those from you.MARVI can get those to you tonight until then here I got these.Marv reaches into his fanny pack and pulls out a prescription bottle. As he opens it he spills pills all over Ryan floor.MARVFuck! Fuck Fuck! Help me pick these up.RYANEasy man. Relax.MARVI need a beer.Marv scoops up the pills and puts them back into the bottle then opens Ryan’s fridge and grabs a beer and begins to down it.MARVI just got some uncut blow. This shit will blow your mind you gotta try some.Marv pulls out a bag and dumps some whit powder on a table and begins cutting it into lines. Marv looks down and picks up a bra off the floor beside Ryan’s bed.MARVLooks like you broke the dry spell. Gimme da bag bitch!Marv laughs and points his hand like a gun at Ryan.RYANHow did you know Melissa and I were going to be out there.MARVI was in the neighborhood saw you guys and just decided to improvise. I kinda thought you would puss out and I’d get to keep that nice Prada bag. You must have recognized me.RYANI know I can’t even believe it myself. Last night just feels like one long dream.Marv snorts loudly then lifts his head back pinching his nose.MARVToot some of this. It will wake you up.Marv hands Ryan a rolled up bill and Ryan makes a white line on his kitchen table disappear. Marv looks at his watch.MARVShit, I can’t even feel my face. You better get going. Your brother’s premier is about to start. The movie is about to start.EXT. -- MOVIE THEATRE -- DUSKPhotographers surround a red carpet flashing photographs as the stars, people dressed in fine tuxes and expensive dresses, walk out of limousines and up to the theatre doors. Ryan steps under a rope and on the red carpet. He walks through the door and begins peering in the crowd looking for his brother.Suddenly he spots Melissa then Deen puts his arm around her and looks over at Ryan. Deen laughs to himself as Melissa waves at Ryan. The two walk up to Ryan.DEENCome to see your brother on the big screen?Ryan extends his hand with a bag in it.RYANHappy birthday brother.Deen grabs the bag from Ryan and looks at Melissa.DEENWhat’s this?RYANJust a gift happy belated b-day bro.Deen looks a Ryan and nods his head.DEENCome here bro.Deen hugs Ryan and Melissa smiles watching the brothers .RYANI’m surprised to see you here.DEENI asked Melissa last night if she would be my date for the screening. Lucky for me she said yes I really didn't have anyone else to go with me. She looks gorgeous doesn't she.Ryan looks at Melissa and takes a deep breathe.RYANYeah, she does.A man in a tuxedo walks up to Deen and puts his hand on Deen’s shoulder.MAN IN TUXEDODeen, Ben is in theatre. He wants to know were you are sitting.DEENBenny is here great.Deen looks at Melissa.DEENWell, Shall we.Deen extends his arm and Melissa slips hers in his.MELISSASee you later Ryan.Melissa winks at Ryan.DEENThere is going to be a party at Ben Stiller’s house after the screening. I could probably get you in if you want to come.The man in the tuxedo motions for Deen.DEENThanks again for the gift.Marv approaches Ryan’s shoulder as Deen and Melissa walk in to the screening room. Ryan looks at Marv who is sweating and twitching. His eyes are dilated and it is obvious he has white powder on his nose.MARVDid you give him the gift?Ryan looks at Marv then wipes his nose in a gesture for Marv to do the same thing.RYANJesus how much of blow have you done?MARVI finished the bag. Hey do they serve drinks here. I got to get a buzz going. I need to come down a little bit. Are you going to watch it.Before Ryan answers Marv he watches him flag down an employee from the theatre.MARVHey buddy get me two Coronas.Marv hastily pulls money from his pocket and hands it to the man. A large bald security man listens on his ear piece then looks around as if looking for Marv.MARVGet yourself one while you at it.Marv turns to Ryan and it is very clear hey is extremely jumpy. Marv notices the security guy moving closer to his direction.MARVListen man I’m going to have to go to the bar tell me how the movie turned out will you.Marv looks over his shoulder in a paranoid manner then walks away.SECURITY(to Marv)Sir, excuse me sir you can’t be in here.INT. -- SCREENING ROOM -- NIGHTRyan looks down off the balcony and in the middle row of theatre and observes people patting Deen on the back and point at the screen.The theatre is pitch black and Ryan squeezes his way through a row of seats on the balcony to one vacant chair. He sits as the opening credits roll. Ryan then reaches into his pocket and pulls out a pill bottle.The woman beside him watches him medicate himself. Ryan notices her watching I’m and he offers her a pill. She turns her head pretending to ignore him.RYANWant one?WOMAN IN THE THEATRE(AGRIVATED)Can you shut up? The movie is starting.RYANAlright... Bitch.Ryan leans his head back as music begins to play. A close up on a foot flashes across the screen. Suddenly Ryan is on the big screen. A credit flashes across his chest reading “starring,” Ryan lifts up a gun and he is decked out in WW2 military gear.EXT. -- NORMANDY BEACH -- DAYSeveral American troops huddle below an embankment on a beach as machine gun fire chops up the sand in front of them. Ryan is dressed as a soldier and holding a rifle. He ducks his head holding his helmet as bombs explode beside him throwing sand high in the air.AMERICAN SOLDIER (JERRY)We are trapped. It’s a death wish.AMERICAN SOLDIER (CLIFF)There is no way we are getting out of this alive.RYANI’m going to take out the gunner! Cover me.Ryan stands up and with one shot puts a bullet through the head of the German machine gunner. His fellow soldiers stand and lay down a cover fire as Ryan throws his rifle and pulls out his hand gun.GERMAN SOLDIERKill the American.He sprints through the sand and towards a German bunker. Grenades explode on either side of him as bullets fly into his foot prints.AMERICAN SOLDIER (JERRY)By god he’s going to make it.Ryan makes it to a bunker and shoots two German officers inside of it. Ryan takes the machine gun off the stand and walks out of the bunker. German soldiers running up to the bunker stop and begin running away shocked as Ryan mows them down.RYANTake this you Nazi scum.More American soldiers begin to rush up the beach as Ryan walks up to another bunker and lets the machine gun blow Nazi’s in half.AMERICAN SOLDIER (JERRY)You did! We are taking to the beach!The American soldier’s smile quickly turns to fear as a gun shot echoes loudly. The American soldier falls to the sand and Ryan screams.RYAN(emotionally)No!Ryan turns around and lets a hundred rounds tear into the German who shot his friend. Ryan Drops the machine gun and runs up to the fallen soldier. His knees drop to the sand and he leans down to the coughing up blood.RYANSomeone get a medic.The dying soldier pulls out a letter and hands it to Ryan.AMERICAN SOLDIER JERRY)I want you to give this to my wife. Tell her I loved her.RYANI will.He coughs as his head drops to the side. he then quickly opens his eyes and grabs Ryan by the foot.AMERICAN SOLDIER (JERRY)One more thing. Win this war.The soldiers head then drops and more blood flows out his mouth.RYANI will.Cliff the other American soldier raises his hands to the sky.AMERICAN SOLDIER (CLIFF)(dramatic)Why?!The American soldiers charge past Ryan as the American flag is hoisted high in the wind.INT. -- THEATRE SCREENING ROOM -- NIGHTPeople applaud loudly as Ryan stands up and takes a bow. The lights come on in the theatre but, Ryan is still passed out in the seat. A theatre attendant nudges his leg with a broom.RYANThank you. What?THEATRE ATTENDENTSir, the movie is over.Ryan gets up and walks out of the theatre and on to the cold streets of uptown Manhattan. Ryan pulls his collar up to block the wind as he heads down the street he takes a left in to a fast food restaurant called Mickey D’s.INT. -- MICKEY D’S -- NIGHTRyan walks through the doors and out of the cold wind. He reaches in his pocket and pulls out his phone. Ryan dials Melissa’s number and waits while her phone rings. The RING goes to here voice mail and Ryan pulls the phone away from his head as he contemplates what to say.RYAN(to himself)Play it cool Ryan.Ryan takes a deep breathe.RYAN(hesitating)Melissa this is Ryan I you looked great tonight. I had a great time last night and would really like to see you again. Give me a call please.Ryan hangs up the phone and hits himself in the head with it.RYAN(to himself)Call me please. What a fucking dumb ass.A cute young girl begins to chuckle from behind the counter. Ryan looks at her then lowers his head as if he didn't notice her standing there.RYANI sound like a desperate loser.CINDYI think you sounded sweet.Ryan looks back at the woman behind the counter.CINDYSo are you hungry? Our burgers are kinda shitty but, we have some pretty kick ass chicken nuggets. We are really known for our fries.Cindy gives Ryan a thumbs up and the two share a light chuckle.RYANSure I’ll try the fries.CindyNot, that it’s any of my business but, if you take her some fries it might increase your odds of getting laid tonight.Ryan looks at the girl’s name tag.RYANThanks Cindy. I think this girl is more in to diamonds or a Rolex.CINDYTypical.Cindy scoops up some fries and hands them to Ryan. Ryan pulls out some cash from his pocket and tries to hand it to her.CINDYIt’s cool I didn't even ring them up.RYANYou know getting stood up wouldn't be that bad if I know it wasn't for my brother.CINDYOoow. Well, you should just be happy for them. I’m sure they belong together.RYANThis is different.CINDYLet me guess a gorgeous model.Ryan looks at Cindy and smiles.RYANYou seem pretty smart what are you doing working here?CINDYGee thanks.RYANI’m sorry I didn't mean it like that.CINDYI actually have been waiting for an excuse to quit.Ryan looks at Cindy’s hand.RYANYou know you have beautiful hands have you ever though about modeling.Cindy laughs.CINDYNo I can’t say that I have.Ryan reaches in his pocket and pulls out a card.RYANI know a few people in the body part modeling biz. Hit me up and maybe I can get you a gig.Ryan hands her his card.CINDYThanks. Maybe we can just go for a walk and talk.RYANThanks again for the fries.He smiles then turns and walks out of the fast food restaurant eating on the free fries. Ryan’s phone rings and he answers it immediately.RYANWhat’s up?MARVMelissa’s boyfriend posted a video of Deen dancing at the party the other night. It already has twelve million hits. He’s the new youtube sensation.RYANGood for him. I really think Melissa likes me through. We had an amazing time last night.MARV (V.O.)Where have you been? Melissa has been with Deen all night.RYAN(pissed)What? I’ve been calling her all night.MarvI’m at the party right now. Looks like the two are hitting it off. You better get over here.RYANI’m headed over there keep an eye on them.Ryan jogs down into the subway station.INT. -- SCREENING PARTY -- NIGHTMusic plays as Melissa toasts Deen and the stars of the Movie that had been screened. Melissa then pulls Deen aside to a corner in the kitchen. Marv peeks around the corner and watches the two making out.MELISSAI’m getting pretty wasted is there any way you can just take me home.DEENSure lets go.Marv dips behind a wall as Melissa and Deen walk out of the party together.EXT. -- MANHATTAN STREET -- NIGHTDeen walks down the street and tries to flag down a cab but is unsuccessful. He then looks across the street and notices a horse and carriage. Deen turns back to Melissa and the two run across the street to the carriage.DEEN(gentlemanly)Would you like to accompany me my lady?Deen helps Melissa into the Carriage. He then turns to the man with the reins and hands him some money.DEENBroadway.The man snaps the reins and Deen puts his arm around Melissa and pulls a blanket up over the both of them.INT. -- SCREENING PARTY -- NIGHTRyan walks up to the door with his phone pressed against his ear. The door opens and Marv is standing there with two beers in his hand. He hands Deen one.MARVI’m sorry buddy your just a little late. They left together about fifteen minutes ago.RYANWhat the hell? Why does my brother have to take everything from me? I really wanted to be with her.MARVHey, she’s a skank get her off your mind. Move on. Your in New York City. Go get a hooker.RYANSorry I don’t share your opinion on women Marv.MARVYou still got those pills.RYANYeah I’ve been in a daze since I’ve been taking them.Marv reaches in to his fanny pack.MARVHere take this tonight it will make you feel better.Marv hands Ryan a breath mint and Ryan immediately tosses it in his mouth.RYANWhat is it?MARVBreath mint. I put a couple drops of LSD on it. Just chill out you will start feeling better in forty five minutes.Marv begins to put eye drops in his eyes.RYANLSD! Fuck man!People at the party begin to look at Ryan and Marv curiously.RYANWhat makes you think I want LSD?MARVRelax. That’s what’s in these eye drops. Hits you quicker that way.Marv offers Ryan the eye dropper. Ryan just turns around and walks out of the party.MARVYou are going to want to be in a safe place in half an hour. I wouldn't wonder too far.EXT. -- MANHATTAN STREET -- NIGHTAs Ryan walks down the street the lights begin to blur. He turns around paranoid after hearing a voice.BUMCan you spare any change sir.Ryan reaches in his pocket and pulls out a wad of bills then hands them to the bum.RYANHere.BUMThank you.The bum runs into a liquor store beside him. Another bum comes up to Ryan with his hands out. Ryan looks at the bum when suddenly the homeless man’s face morphs into Marv’s. The face looks demonic as his eyes glow red and teeth glow yellow.MARV/BUMSpare change.Ryan freaks out and begins running. As Ryan runs the street lights begin leaning down and attempting to grab him. He spots the Mickey D’s he was in earlier and throws himself through the doors and on to the floor.INT. -- MICKEY D’S -- NIGHTRyan crawls up to the counter where Cindy and another employee fries look on at him curiously.CINDYAre you ok?Ryan uses his pointer finger to motion for Cindy to lean across the counter to Ryan who is crouching slightly below it. Cindy leans down smiling at him.RYANI took some LSD.Cindy begins cracking up with laughter causing Ryan to laugh as well.CINDYDude you are tripping balls.Ryan nods smiling.MICKEY D’S EMPLOYEEIs everything alright Cindy?The other Mickey D’s employee steps out from the fryers and looks at Ryan suspiciously. This causes Ryan to Begin to freak out and hide from the man.CINDYEverything is cool. I think I quit. Yeah I quit.Cindy takes off her Mickey D’s hat and hops over the counter. She then takes Ryan by the hand.CINDYLets get out of here.The two walk out of the Fast food restaurant and the one employee left behind the counter takes off his hat and throws down in aggravation.EXT. -- MANHATTAN STREETS -- NIGHTCindy walks beside Ryan holding his hand.CINDYHow long ago did you take it.RYANProbably an hour.CINDYJust wait its only going to get better.EXT. -- CONEY ISLAND -- NIGHTCindy and Ryan stand in a small line outside a ticket booth. Ryan watches a Carnival ride spin children around wildly. He seems to be mesmerized and stuck in a moment of bliss. Cindy pulls him by the hand as she walks up to the ticket booth.CINDYTwo please.RYANWhat is this?CINDYDon’t tell me you have never been to a freak show.INT. -- MELISSA’S APARTMENT -- NIGHTDeen and Melissa laugh as they approach an apartment door.DEENI hope you enjoyed the ride home my lady.MELISSAWhy yes sir I did.Deen leans in kisses her as she opens the door behind the two sits Patrick Wriggly in a dimly lit corner of the room. He lights a cigarette as Deen and Melissa just look at him. Patrick stands up and pulls out a key then sits it on a table.PATRICK WRIGGLYI loved you.Patrick laughs and shakes his head.PATRICK WRIGGLYI should have known you were just a fucking whore.Deen steps foward.DEENThat’s enough. I think you should leave.PATRICK WRIGGLYFuck you! Your just a foot model. Without your feet your nobody.Deen steps forward.DEENIf you don’t get out of her I’m going to put this perfect size twelve up your ass.PATRICK WRIGGLYFine I’m going you can have the slut.Patrick starts to walk away then suddenly takes a cheap shot at Deen. Deen ducks narrowly missing the swing then decks Patrick laying him out. Patrick hits the floor like a sac of potatoes. Melissa pulls back shocked at the display of violence.DEENI told you.Deen pulls Patrick down Melissa steps and throws him out to the curb.DEENYou try and come up her again and I’m calling the cops.Deen walks back up to Melissa’s apartment and shuts the door behind him. She immediately burrows her head in his chest. He comforts her with a soft hug.MELISSAWill you stay?INT. -- FREAK SHOW -- NIGHTCindy and Ryan laugh uncontrollably at the bearded lady, dwarfs, fire eaters and strong men performing in the side show act.CINDYMy grandfather was a fire eater.RYANReally?CINDYYeah he did it for twenty years and never burned himself. Then one day he was on his front porch smoking a cigarette and burned alive.Ryan looks at Cindy in disbelief.CINDYApparently all the years of having kerosene in his mouth just sucked into his blood stream. It made him a match just waiting to be lit.RYANYour joking... Right?Cindy looks at Ryan without smiling.CINDYInternal combustion is what the doctors called it. Died because for years he entertained others.RYANWow I’m sorry.Cindy laughs and Ryan joins in.RYANI knew you were joking.CINDYI did have you going I could see it in your eyes.RYANSo was your grandfather really a fire eater.CINDYHe was a dock worker and it took more than one cigarette to kill him.Ryan and Cindy watch a man lay on a bed of nails as a larger man and bearded woman stand on his chestRYANThese guys are incredible.CINDYIt’s amazing how society can cast out people with so much talent. It’s not their fault they were born with a gift.Ryan looks at Cindy and smiles as he watches her enjoy the act.EXT. -- CONEY ISLAND FERRIS WHEEL -- NIGHTRyan and Cindy look down on the island of lights as the large Ferris wheel rotates them to the top.CINDYHow’s your trip so far?RYANAmazing. It’s so beautiful up here. Your amazing.CINDYYour probably starting to come down now.Cindy smiles and the two watch the people below them.RYANIf this thing falls and kills us I would be ok with that.CINDYI don’t know If I would.RYANI’m saying If I died right now it would ok because I’m happy. I’m not afraid of death. It doesn't scare me.CINDYI’m not afraid to die. I don’t think I would want to right now.RYANI couldn't think of a better time to go.Cindy smiles and looks at Ryan.CINDYI could.Ryan looks back at her with fascination.CINDYI have an idea. After this lets go.INT. -- MELISSA’S APARTMENT -- NIGHTDeen and Melissa kiss softly and Deen begins to take off her top as the two head for the bed the kisses become more intense and passionate.INT. -- ADULT THEATRE -- NIGHTRyan and Cindy watch a couple having sex on a large screen. Cindy softly grabs Ryan’s hand and leans her head on his shoulder.INT. -- DEEN’S APARTMENT -- MORNINGDeen sits at the edge of his bed clipping his toe nails and Melissa walks out of the rest room wearing the clothes from last night with her hair pulled back and sunglasses propped on her head.MELISSAI have to go to a shoot today.DEENCool well, do you want to get together for lunch?MELISSAI don’t know if I’ll have time. I’ll call you.DEENI’ll be waiting for your call.Melissa smiles and walks out of Deen’s uptown apartment.INT. -- RYAN’S APARTMENT -- MORNINGA bright sunbeam shoots through the window and hits Ryan right on the face. He cracks his eyes open and turns his head to the side blocking the sun light and makes a moaning sound. A beautiful hand stretches across Ryan’s chest.CINDYHey you.Ryan looks down at the hand surprised. He blinks his eyes and rolls out of bed knocking over a couple of beer bottles.CINDYDo remember last night.Ryan looks down at Cindy.RYANPieces of it.CINDYYou look distraught. Do you want me to leave?RYANYou can do whatever you want.Ryan walks in his rest room and begins to urinate loudly. Cindy puts on her clothes and shuts the door on her way out. When Ryan walks out of the rest room Cindy is gone. Ryan walks to the door and grabs the handle but, stops before opening it. He holds his head with his hand then hits the door his other fist.INT. -- ROLEX FOOT WATCH PHOTO SHOOT -- DUSKRyan and Melissa stand in front of a large light. Deen walks in with a white mink and whit top hat. He walks up to Melissa and Ryan then presses a button on his shoes and compressed air is suddenly released as the shoe opens up.DEENTry not to stare you got your own bro.RYANListen Melissa I can’t go on waiting for you. I don’t think I have felt this way about any woman before and well I need to know that when we made love the other night that you felt the same way.Deen looks at Melissa.DEENWhoa! You are telling me that you had sex with my brother too.Deen looks grossed out.DEENWhat the...RYANSo you are just trying to play both of us is that what it is.DEENHold up bro... it is obvious you are the one getting played here.RYANYou know what Deen will you just put your inflated ego behind you for a minute and look at this rationally. She need to choose. Which one of us do you want to be with.DEENThat’s fair enough.The two brothers look at Melissa.MELISSAThe truth is I really like both of you but, I was just drunk when we had sex.RYANOk, so you were drunk. You still haven't chosen. Which brother do you want to be with.MELISSADon’t take this the wrong way but, both of you guys are fat. I wouldn't want to be either of you. I’m sorry.Ryan looks shocked at Melissa’s remarks and Deen seems to not be effected.DEENCan we get on with the shoot.Melissa looks at Deen then pears closer at his foot.MELISSAWhat’s that?Deen looks down at his foot then rubs his pinky toe as if to remove a smudge. Ryan and the photographer look at Deen’s foot closer.PHOTOGRAPHERYour toe nail is black.Deen is in shock as he pulls the toe nail completely off. Melissa, Ryan and the photographer cringe then look away.DEENOh, shit. I need to go to the doctor now.Deen rapidly puts on his shoe and runs out of the room.RYANI think now is a good time to tell you I know about you Deen. I think it’s time you chose which one of us you want to be with.MELISSAI wouldn't be either of you. The both of you were just one night stands. The truth is I’m model a real model and you and your brother are fat.Ryan just stares at Melissa in disbelief.RYANThat’s it.PHOTOGRAPHERMelissa I need to take you photo. Come over here beautiful. Ryan I’m going to need your foot in minute buddy.Melissa walks over to were the photographer is standing and begins to pose in front of a green screen.PHOTOGRAPHERYes you are so hot.Ryan walks out of the photo shoot as he leaves the photographer yells at him.PHOTOGRAPHERWhere are you going? Be back in fifteen.The door shuts behind Ryan and the photographer goes back to taking pictures Melissa.EXT. -- MANHATTAN STREET -- NIGHTRyan walks down the street until he reaches the Mickey D’s where he met Cindy. He opens the door and walks half way in.MICKEY D’S EMPLOYEECan I help you sir?RYANIs Cindy working?MICKEY D’S EMPLOYEEShe doesn't work here anymore sir.RYANThanks.Ryan walks out the restaurants doors and back on the street. He hails a cab and gets inside of it.INT. -- HOSPITAL -- NIGHTDeen sits on a examining table in a large open room as a doctor examines his foot.DOCTORWell, I’ve seen this before. I’s a fungus.DEEN(paranoid)Just give me the truth doc. How long do I have to live?The doctor laughs.DOCTORWell, the good news is It’s not going to kill you. It might take up to a month to heal properly. You might want to throw away anything that has had a lot of contact with your foot recently to keep the fungus from spreading.Deen leans in listening intently to the doctor.DOCTORYour going to have to take some medication for about three to four weeks.A nurse runs in the room.NURSEDoctor we need your help immediately.Suddenly a man is rushed by the room with an IV bag connected to him and several people working to keep him conscious. The man’s head turns briefly while passing Deen.DEENMarv?DOCTORI’ll be back.Ryan gets up and walks to two shut doors. He peaks through a small window were the doctors and nurses tend to Marv. Deen looks back down the hallway leading away from the doors and two cops stand talking to each other.Deen approaches one of the cops.DEENExcuse me can one of you guys tell me happened.COPYeah, the guy just decided to down a whole bottle of pills. When we found him it must have been right after he did it.DEENYou got to be kidding me.COPSome people called the cops because he was laying outside his apartment door. He must have had second thoughts and tried to get some help.DEENWhat do you mean?COPWhen guys kill themselves on purpose they usually leave some kind of note. Usually when you down a bottle of pills you know it’s your time. It’s like this guy wasn’t ready.The cop looks at his partner.COPWe better call his closet kin and let them know what condition he’s in.DEENYour talking to him.Deen reaches in his pocket and pulls out his phone. Deen turns around and leans his back against the wall as the cops walk away. He looks back in the emergency room where Marv is laying and a doctor looks at his watch then pulls a sheet over Marv’s head.EXT. -- CONEY ISLAND -- NIGHTRyan walks out of the freak show and looks around as he walks past the rides and watches the happy couples cuddling next to each other. Ryan spots through the corner of his eyes a familiar face selling cotton candy.RYANCindy.CINDYHey.RYANI tried calling you.CINDYI was working.RYANYou got a job quick.CINDYIt ain't nothing.RYANListen I didn't want you to leave. Sometimes things don’t come out the right way.CINDYDon’t flatter yourself.RYANWhen do you get off.CINDYWhy you want to catch a flick.Ryan smiles and Cindy looks in to his eyes.CINDYAn hour.RYANI’ll wait for you.Cindy spins out a stick covered with cotton candy and hands it to Ryan.INT. -- DEEN’S APARTMENT -- NIGHTDeen opens the door and his brother Ryan walks in.RYANThis better be worth my time. I was with a chick I met on our way back to my place and you call me saying there has been an emergency... Well what?DEENHave a seat.Ryan takes a seat by the kitchen table and Deen walks up to him then sits beside him.DEENMarv is dead.Ryan looks at Deen with disbelief.RYANYour joking right?DEENI was an overdose he did it on purpose. Apparently Marv was responsible for our parents death.Ryan looks at Deen pissed.DEENHis lawyer came by earlier and handed me this.Deen lifts up a video tape.RYANI’m not going to listen to this bull shit anymore.DEENLike it or not, he’s dead now. It was because of drugs. Apparently Marv has been a secret addict our whole lives. He admits it all on this tape.Ryan pulls out his phone and begins to call Marv. A RING comes from Deen’s pocket. Deen looks at Ryan sadly.DEENI think you better sit down and watch tis with me.RYANWhat are you doing with Marv’s phone? No. Fuck!Ryan turns around and leans against the wall distraught and confused.DEENI was contacted by a lawyer in charge of his will. He wanted us to watch this tape.MARVWell if you are watching this than it’s alright you get to hear my last words. Well, you want to know what’s going on and I’m going to spare you all the bullshit.Marv takes a drink of beer.MARVI’m tanked right now so fuck it, here it goes. I killed your parents when you were younger. I was dark outside and the roads were slick and I was fucked up. I lost control of the wheel and for that I will never forgive myself. You boys didn't have any other close relatives and your father put me a a beneficiary so I decided to take you boys under my wing. I’m sorry I never told you but, I just couldn't.Marv finishes the beer and takes a deep breath.MARVIt seems that lately I’ve just gotten between the two of you and that’s not what I wanted. Hell I’m ashamed of myself. I’m ashamed that I can’t stop using and I feel I’m just rubbing off on you guys and to be honest I can’t live with that.Marv begins to tear up then just snorts loudly and regains his composure.MARVYou boys have done nothing wrong. I just think you two would be better off without me. I found out that I’m sick... real sick and I just can’t stick around to find out it’s going to go down. You know me I always have to call the shots. Enough of this shit. Good bye boys.Marv gets up and walks up to the camera then a prostitute walks into the picture half naked.PROSTITUTEHey, Marvy are you ready to make another movie.The prostitute grabs Marv’s crotch going under his sweat pants.DEENOh god now that’s just gross.Moaning sounds come from the tape and Deen gets up and presses stop on the VCR.RAYNI’ll see you tomorrow.DEENDon’t take this the wrong way but, lately you have just seemed out of it man. I want you to know I’m here for you bro.Deen gets up and walks up to Ryan who is opening the door.DEENListen, we have had our differences in the past. For what I have done wrong I’m sorry.Deen hugs his brother and Ryan gives in crying and gripping his brother around the shoulder tightly and the two hold each other for a good four or five seconds. The two sit down in front of Deen’s television and pop in a tape. As the picture comes on it is Marv adjusting the camera. He looks straight at the lens and then moves back to a table in the center of the shot.INT. -RYAN’S APARTMENT -- NIGHTRyan walks in his rest room and looks at himself in the mirror on his wall. He pulls the mirror open and inside is a medicine cabinet lined with pill bottles. He opens a pill bottle and walks over to the toilet then pours the pills in it and repeats the process until all the pill bottle are empty and thrown in the trash.EXT. -- NEW YORK STREET -- MORNINGRyan walks out of his apartment wearing sweats. He looks around his street and takes off jogging. A Bum sitting on the cement ground watches Ryan run down the street. Ryan turns back to take a second look at the bum then continues on his path.INT. -- K-MART FLIP FLOP SHOOT (BEACH)-- DAYWaves crash on a beach as people in swim suits are playing on the beach and suddenly a man jumps up to spike the ball. A pair of amazing looking feet run through the sand and up to a volley ball net.The man spiking the ball is Ryan. Ryan is tan buffed up and in great shape. He takes off his sunglasses revealing a white strip of sun block on his nose.RYAN (V.O.)(energetic)This summer if your looking for the right outer wear to reflect your inner personality.Another pair of flip flops walk up through the sand and it is Deen. Deen walks up beside his brother and his body looks completely different. He is slim, fit and tan.DEEN(equally energetic to Ryan)Go to K-Mart for the best deals on Flip flops and other Summer specials.Deen and Ryan Hi five each other and run back to the volley ball net to continue their game.THE END
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OREO RAP
Sep 27, 2008
This is a rap you can dunk cookies to.I like mine chocolate dipped and double stuffed. I also like those oreo truffles.
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Patrick Swayze Tribute (Pish Posh - "We Love You S
Sep 27, 2008
Pish Posh featuring Laser - "We Love You Swayze"Pish Posh reunited after over 15 years of not speaking to one another to pay tribute to the man who made us both who we are. Also joining us for the track is "Laser" who was our keyboardist/backup vocalist on the "Thomas Dolby Can Suck It Tour" in support of our "Get Synth or Die Trying" album.We recently heard of Patrick's life threatening situation and decided to do something about it. Since neither of us are doctors or possess healing powers we decided that the best we could do was join forces once again and send some love via the power of song!We hope that this helps and we love you Patrick Kickin Ass Swayze!!!!Anyone interested in Lyrics or purchasing a cd feel free to comment or contact us at PishP0sh@hotmail.com or patrickdaswayze@gmail.comThanks for watching! Get well soon Patrick! -Pish PoshP.S. The child at the end is Drake Paquette. He became a Swayze fan over the course of the videos conception.
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STEVE (STONE COLD) AUSTIN -Where is he now
Sep 27, 2008
Steven Austin has been missing for a while and I thought his fans would like to know how he is doing.
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LifeBox (# 1 AFI short film of 06)
Sep 27, 2008
When you die your soul goes to a purgatory court of review. The judge is you.done by (jacob jones and lance lyon)
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Sgt. Stubby (A screenplay by Jacob Jones)
Sep 19, 2008
SERGENT STUBBY(Inspired by true events)Written by Jacob JonesEmail- velvetj.jones@gmail.comSeptember 18th 2008SERGENT STUBBY(Inspired by true events)Written by Jacob JonesEmail- velvetj.jones@gmail.comSeptember 18th 2008INT. -- SMITHSONIAN MUSEUM NEW YORK -- DAYThe plane the Wright brothers learned to fly in hangs from a tall ceiling. Under the plane a class of young students is lead by a teacher to another exhibit in the large room.TEACHEROk, people pay attention we are going to check out the first satellite to orbit in space.The teacher looks at the line and begins to count the students by touching the top of each one of their heads.TEACHERSixteen. Who are we missing?The teacher begins to recount the students.One student pulls a smaller one aside and slams him against an exhibit. Carter the larger boy grins as he holds a skinny Joe against the Museum exhibit. Carter takes off Joe’s glasses then folds them upCARTERWhat’s in the lunch bag.Carter yanks the brown bag from Joe as he stands there cowering in the presence of a much larger boy. Carter opens the brown bag.CARTERSmells delicious. What’s this?Carter pulls out a chocolate dipped and double stuffed package of Oreos.JOEPlease no they’re my favorite cookie.CARTERShut up. Next time I ask you to do my homework you better.Carter stuffs the cookies in his mouth and chomps down on them as Joe watches helpless.JOEPleas give me my glasses I cant see.CARTERYour telling me.Joe’s eyes are crossed as he stares up Carter. Carter breaks the glasses in half then drops them on the floor and steps on them with his foot.JOE(upset)My glasses!Joe looks at the glasses and bends down to pick them up.JOEI’m not doing your home work ever again Carter.Carter cracks his knuckles.CARTERWhat did you say.JOEYou heard me.Carter pulls his arm back.CARTERWe’ll see about that.A large wrinkled hand grabs Carter’s arm in mid swing. A tall old Janitor stands behind Carter with a mop and bucket.CARTERWhat’s problem old man.OLD JANITORBe careful boy don’t knock over Sergent Stubby.Carter looks up beside him at the exhibit of an old stuffed dog. Joe pulls his hands down from shielding his face then picks up one side of his frames.CARTERI’m handling some business here old man so if you wouldn't mind beat it.JOEHold up I’m reading this.Carter rolls his eyes then slaps joe on the back of the head.CARTERWho cares it is just a dumb old mutt.Carter looks at the janitor.CARTER(innocently)Come friend we better keep going or our teacher is going wonder where we are.A gruff laugh comes from the old janitor standing beside a mop and bucket.OLD JANITORThat’s not just any old mutt. That dog is a war hero. Yep, old Sergent Stubby met the president and was awarded more medals than many soldiers.Carter snorts his nose then spits leaving a brownish green mark on the floor.CARTERI still think he is a stupid old mutt.The Janitor shrugs his shoulders as Carter smirks.OLD JANITORLooks like you got some bar bar-b-q sauce on you face, let me get it for you.The old janitor swings the mop at the boys face stopping right before hitting it. Both boys stand in shock as the grey haired skinny old janitor gently swabs the side of Carters mouth with the mop. Carters face suddenly becomes disgusted.CARTERYou are sick old man I’m telling my teacher on you.Carter runs away leaving Joe standing completely still.OLD JANITORYour friend seems a bit defensive.The janitor stares at Carter then walks up to him and tousles his hair and begins to use the mop in his hand to clean up Carter’s spit mark on the floor.OLD JANITOR(softly)The dog was old and a mutt but, boy was he smart. That mutt lived one amazing life. They used Stubby to sniff out German Spies, mustard gas and old Stubby even got wounded by a grenade helping to save his platoon.Joe looks at Sergent Stubby as he stands courageous behind a glass wall.JOEAre you sure all that is true?Joe looks at the old janitor. The Janitor takes a step toward Joe.JANITOROh it’s all true. He’s a legend alright. Stubby even helped troops win the war and find hidden treasure all at once.JOEYeah right. How can a dog do all that?JANITORA dog is a man’s best friend and Stubby’ best friend was a soldier named Charlie.JOEWhere did Stubby come from?OLD JANITORWell he found Charlie or Charlie found him.The Janitor cleans the glass around Stubby.OLD JANITORI guess the two were just meant for each other. They needed each other’s help to find the treasure.JOETreasure come on you got to be kidding me.The old janitor turns from looking at Stubby then leans against the mop.OLD JANITORJust depends on what you consider treasure. You know you are a brave kid Joe. It takes a lot of guts to stand up to a bully.JOEHe’s probably going to smash my glasses again tomorrow. I’m just a little twerp compared to him.OLD JANITORYou know Stubby was a small dog but, he took on a lot of big problems. The important thing is that you stand up for yourself and hold your head high.The old Janitor picks up Joe’s glasses from the floor.OLD JANITORThat’s what Charlie did.JOECharlie?OLD JANITORYeah, Stubby’s master. If It wasn't for Charlie why Stubby would have never gotten to help all people he did.EXT. -- SMALL FARM ROAD -- MORNINGCharlie is a young man and pedaling at a rapid speed as he flies down a hill stretched out with his legs propped up on the handle bars.CHARLIEWhoo hoo!His hair whips back as he barrels down the hill backwards. On the side of the road is a young brunette with a white nurses uniform under her coat changing her tire.Charlie skids to a stop with his heels beside the woman’s car. She ignores Charlie’s arrival and continues changing her tire.CHARLIE(amused)Having fun?She turns around and completely takes Charlie’s breath away. He stares at her with his mouth open.CHARLIE(astonished)My na... name is Charlie.MABLE(arrogantly)Are you going to help me or just stand there?Mable is a beautiful young woman with a chip on her shoulder. Charlie rushes to her side and starts to crank the jack under the car lifting up her back left tire.He looks up at Mable who is now opening her door and getting into her car. A furled brow wrinkles across Charlie’s face as he continues to change the tire. Charlie taps on the car window as Mable applies lipstick in a mirror. Mable puts the lipstick away and begins rolling down the window.CHARLIEMam, your tire is all fixed. All I had to do was...Mable starts rolling up the window and turning on her car. Charlie taps on the window again.CHARLIEMam, before you go I was wondering.. If I could get a ride up to the army base. See I’m going to the war and I’m already late.Mable looks at the road then back at Charlie she cant help but smile.MABLEI suppose you could hold on to the car and I could tow you.CHARLIEWow that is generous of you mam but, I seem to have twisted my wrist in the process of changing your tire and, well it would help my wrist if I could place my bike in the back and ride to the base.MABLEWell I truly hope your wrist will be able to defend our great lands from the German army.Charlie moves his wrist back and forth stretching his muscles with a face of anguish.CHARLIEI believe it is a light sprain and I shouldn't need a lift after all.Charlie turns and walks away.MABLEHey! What’s your name?CHARLIECharlie.Mable puts on her nurses hat then ties her hair into a bun.MABLEWell, Charlie my name is Mable. I don’t think it would put me out to give you a lift. Seeing that you are late on your first day of basic training. I am a nurse Charlie I am going to help people and I guess I can start with you.Charlie takes off his hat.CHARLIE(grateful)Thank you.MABLEYou will have to sit in the back my nursing equipment is up front. The Doctor tools have to stay in the front with me.Charlie looks at the medical bag discouragingly.CHARLIEWell, thank you Mable I will be just fine in the back.MABLEI don’t know why they don’t just let women fight this war.MABLEIt could be over with by now.Charlie chuckles.CHARLIEWomen fighting along side men. That sounds ridiculous.MABLESounds revolutionary if you ask me. We already have the harder job. Raising the children you men leave behind.CHARLIEYeah, why aren't you doing that right now.MABLEI’m learning a life skill a trade that will allow me to be independent of a man’s help.She rolls her eyes as he turns around to pick up his bike. He places it on her car roof. He then looks in the back seat and notices very little room.CHARLIE(playfully)marry me?MABLEWhat?CHARLIEI’m going to the war to fight in trenches against the Germans and would like nothing better than to know a beautiful wife was waiting for me.MABLEAs inviting as that sounds I will have to decline.Mable looks back at Charlie with wide eyes.MABLEWhat are you talking about? I hardly know you.A squirrel runs out into the road and Charlie points to it as Mable looks back at him.CHARLIEWatch out!Mable swerves causing the car to go into a spin sending Charlie into the front seat. Her hair is thrown out of the neat bun and the Doctor’s bag lays on the floor board open and tools fly everywhere.MABLEWhat do you think you are doing?CHARLIESaving a squirrel's life. You obviously were not paying any mind to the road.MABLELook what you have done. Over one Squirrel. Those are important Surgeon tools your feet are on.CHARLIESorry but, I am a soldier. You wouldn't understand what the front line is like.MABLEWe can do it too. Who do you think works at all the plants and mills while you guys are off dying in wars.CHARLIEDying to protect women. How ungrateful.MABLEIf women ruled the world it would be different.CHARLIEOh yeah, how so?MABLEThere would not be so many deaths.CHARLIESome don’t mind dying if it means you can stand up for what’s right. Someone has to protect the world for my grand children.MABLEHopefully you will live to have some children.CHARLIE(cocky)Want to help me out?MABLE(disgusted)Pig.CHARLIEFeminist.Mable turns her head away in anger.CHARLIEI’m sure you will have three beautiful children no men just women. Women are left to populate themselves. That’s an idea.Charlie smiles at Mable.CHARLIEYou have amazing lips. What a ride what a ride.Charlie picks up his foot and starts to rise from the floor he was thrown to. As he does so he pulls the medical bag from beneath him.MABLEDoctor Higgins is not going to be pleased with me spilling his bag!CHARLIEI’m sure he will forgive you, my neck on the other hand will need some serious healing.Mable looks at Charlie aggressively.MABLEAre you going to get off the bag or not?EXT. -- TRAINING BASE -- NOONA drill Sargent leads his platoon on an obstacle course. Mable drives up beside the soldiers and stops in front of the rope climb.MABLEI hope this will suit you I am now late myself.Charlie leans in to kiss Mable and before she knows it her lips are pressed against his. The soldiers stop their rope climbing and begin to cheer for Charlie. The drill sergent blows his whistle and Charlie runs up and hands him a piece of Paper.CHARLIECharlie White first company air born reporting for duty sir!SERGENT GARANTYou realize you are two hours late Charlie White.Charlie diverts his eyes from the drill sergent and watches Mable drive slowly away.CHARLIEI’m sorry sir.SERGENT GARANTDon’t call me sir I work for a living. The name is Garant and you better have a good story as to why you are late the first day of basic training.CHARLIEI was helping a young lady change her tire.The platoon watches Charlie’s ride drive away. One of the soldiers in training looks up from his rope climbing.SOLDIERHe was helping her alright.The Platoon all laughs and Charlie does too. The drill sergent blows his whistle.SERGENT GARANTThere is nothing funny here. Get back to training.The drill sergeant’s men immediately go back to the obstacle course. The stern large muscular drill Sergent turns back to give Charlie a look of disgust.SERGENT GARANTAs for you Charlie, take the trail and run that until I tell you to quit.The drill sergent turns back to his platoon and walks away as Charlie stares at a field of clover hiding a forgotten trail of red dirt leading deep into the distance. Charlie begins to jog down the trail and the drill sergent turns to yell at Charlie.SERGENT GARANTPick up the pace private!Charlie jogs faster and as the sun hangs high overhead he becomes more winded and soaked with sweat. Charlie grabs a tree and leans up against it to catch his breath. The drill Sergent shows up out of nowhere.SERGENT GARANTStop resting. You rest when the war is won. Get rid of that dog. No pets allowed in basic training.Charlie looks at a dog running beside him.CHARLIEGo away you are getting me in trouble.The dog barks back at Charlie.SERGENT GARANTPick it up private!The drill sergent jogs back to the platoon and leads them in a jog around the Yale campus. Charlie begins to slow down once the drill sergent rounds the corner of a building. The dog continues to jog beside Charlie. He bends down picks up a stick and throws it in the direction of the short dog. The dog runs to the stick and catches it in mid air.CHARLIEWow aren't you a skilled little mutt.Charlie wrinkles his nose then cringes with a disgusted face.CHARLIEOh, man gross.Charlie looks down at the bottom of his shoe which is covered with dog poop.CHARLIEDid you do that?The dog grins as he continues to run beside Charlie as the dog shakes the stick in his mouth.CHARLIEHey, let me see that.Charlie charges at the dog but, the small dog quickly runs away making Charlie run after him but comes short of capturing him.CHARLIEYou are pretty quick for a stubby little mutt.The dog runs ahead of Charlie on the dirt trail and places the stick down in front of him. The dog tilts his head and winks his eye at Charlie as he approaches the stick. TThe Drill sergent shouts from several yards away then blows his whistle and motions for Charlie to run towards him.SERGENT GARANTPrivate we are meeting in the mess hall for dinner. You can stop running. The time for goofing off is over with. I thought I told you to get rid of the dog.The drill sergent looks down at the dog who places the stick beside Charlie’s foot. The dog looks up at Charlie with anticipation as the small mutt sits on his hind legs.CHARLIEI swear this is not my dog.SERGENT GARANTYou know what private I have a special mission for you. After you eat I want you to help with the dishes.The drill sergent pulls out his pocket watch.SERGENT GARANTYou have 10 minutes to wolf down that meal. Your platoon has already eaten. Since you have decided to show up late you have forced me to treat you different. After you are done with the dishes you may retire to the barracks for rest.Charlie runs into the large Yale campus building and finds the cafeteria.INT. -- CAFETERIA -- DUSKThe large open room is full of empty chairs and tables Charlie walks in and looks at the pile of dishes on a cart in the corner of the dining room. He walks back in to the kitchen area behind large dinning tables.Charlie grabs a bowl and spoons out soup from a large bucket. He sits down at a table and begins to sip at his soup with his head resting in one of his hands.He slouches exhausted and can barley eat his soup. Charlie slurps up the last of the soup in his bowl then turns on the water and begins piling dishes into the sink.CHARLIE(discouraged)Wow. This is going to take forever.Charlie opens the back door to the kitchen and steps outside for a breath of fresh air. He watches his breathe crystallize in the cold night air, then looks down and notices the playful dog from earlier in the day curled up on a pile of leaves beside the steps.CHARLIESo this is where you stay.The dog takes a deep breath and nudges the stick beside him.CHARLIEAre you hungry?The dog’s ears perk up and Charlie pulls a biscuit out of his pocket.CHARLIECatch.The dog leaps in the air and snags the biscuit.CHARLIEFor a stubby dog you sure can jump high.Charlie pauses and looks for a biscuit. He pulls it slowly out of his pocket and the dog pays close attention to Charlie’s hand.CHARLIESince you don’t have a name I believe I will call you Stubby.The dog tilts his head and gives a dumbfounded expression. Charlie breaks the biscuit in half and tosses half to Stubby who dives and snatches it before it lands in the snow.CHARLIEYou sure can eat. I wish you could clean up as quick as you eat.Stubby anticipates another biscuit from Charlie who seems to have just had an epiphany.CHARLIEThere is no reason I should clean up everyone’s mess without any help.Charlie opens the door and motions for Stubby to follow him inside.CHARLIELet’s get you out of the cold. Come on Stubby.Stubby charges inside and begins to get very excited from the smells in the kitchen.CHARLIEHere you go.Charlie places a plate of unfinished food in front of Stubby. Stubby looks but does not attack the food.CHARLIEHere is were you help me out. Lick this clean and I’ll give you another.A montage of licks and scrubs follows Stubby’s first bite. The dishes are complete and placed beside the sink. Stubby is looking quite plump as Charlie puts the last dish away.CHARLIEWell, Stubs seems I underestimated your ability to scarf. You have just helped complete my first mission. I think You have earned your meal. There is just one thing left to do.The dog looks at Charlie exhausted and full. A bucket of soapy water is spilt on the floor. Charlie ties a mop to Stubby then gives the dog a push and watches him slide down the mess hall floor.CHARLIEYour a genuine expert at this stubby.INT. -- MESS HALL -- MORNINGSoldiers begin pouring in through the door and past Charlie and Stubby who are passed out on the floor beside their mops.DRILL SERGENTWhat is this. A dog in the Mess Hall. Private take that mutt outside. Put a move on it private we are having a short breakfast there is a war going on.Charlie grabs Stubby and carries him outside.CHARLIEWell it was fun. Thanks for the help. Maybe I’ll see you later.A soldier pats stubby on the way out.SOLDIERNice dog.CHARLIEI’s not mine.Charlie places Stubby down and salutes him as he shuts the door.EXT. -- YALE CAMPUS -- MORNINGThe drill sergent leads his troops in a jog around the front of the campus.SERGENT GARANTLeft right left rightStubby runs up beside the troops jogging. Charlie signals for the dog to go away. Stubby then runs in front of the drill Sergent.SERGENT GARANTWell private, I guess if he can keep up then he can keep cadence with us.INT. -- MESS HALL -- NIGHTStubby feeds on a silver bowl as the soldiers chow down at the table beside him.SOLDIERHey stubs you still hungry?The soldier tosses Stubby a biscuit.SERGENT GARANTOkay gentlemen.The drill sergent blows his whistle and all the soldiers talking stop and pay attention to the drill sergent standing on a table at the front of the mess hall.SERGENT GARANTMen I have just received notice from our superior officers. You are all grown up now and as ready as you are going to be. It is time for you to fight against a tyrannical dictatorship known as Germany. Enjoy your meal boys because tomorrow you will be boarding the U.S.S. Minnesota and headed to fight the enemy.The soldiers make a loud cheer.SOLDIERS(in unison)WHOO RAH!INT. -- YALE CAMPUS DORM ROOM -- MORNINGCharlie is packing his bag then looks at a picture for a moment before taking notice of Stubby who looks solemn on his personal bed on the floor beside the soldiers bunk beds. One of the soldiers, Rex, looks at Stubby then Charlie as he packs his bag.REXSay Charlie what are you going to do about Stubby when we ship off.CHARLIEWell I’m not going to just leave him with now home. I’m sure I will think of something to do with him.A soldier swings open the dorm room door and takes of his hat.SOLDIERI guess you guys haven't gotten the news. The drill sergent is going to let us have a night on the town before we ship out.The soldiers hustle around the room quickly throwing on their shirts and dress pants.REXI know just the spot to go.Stubby scurries around in excitement as if he is going to join the guys on their night out.SOLDIERThere is a spot where all the nurses will be on times square.REXOh I like that. Nurses love soldiers. I’m sure they want to send their boys off in style.Rex leans into Charlie’s ear.REXHopefully we will get something to remember them by.The soldiers laugh and Stubby walks up to Rex’s feet.REXStubby I bet the nurses would love you. You want to go to the dance at the Apple.Stubby hops on his hind legs.REXLook he is dancing.The soldiers laugh at Stubby who hops over to Charlie as he buttons his military issued dress shirt.REXSay Charlie how about we bring Stubby to the Apple.Stubby looks up at Charlie as if he was in agreement with Rex.CHARLIEYou can take him but, I’m not looking after him the whole time I am there. He is your responsibility.REXI’m taking him.Rex applies a hand full of gel to his hair.CHARLIEYou don’t know if they allow dogs in the club.SOLDIERHey isn't a regular dog he’s a soldier.Charlie bends down and pats Stubby on the head.CHARLIEWell, Stubby I guess you are going then.EXT. -- NEW YORK CITY APPLE CLUB-- NIGHTAn early nineteenth century jazz song plays as Stubby leads a group of finely dressed soldiers looking to meet some pretty young nurses.DOORMANHold up sir.Rex pauses and Stubby sits and looks up at the Soldier and then at the Doorman.DOORMANThat dog can’t come in.REXThis here is Stubby and he is a part of the platoon. This is not any canine.Stubby looks full of pride.REXI don’t think you understand me. Stubby here is part of the platoon. If he can’t go in then we can’t go in.A soldier stands up from the back of the line.SOLDIERHe is a war dog. Let him in.DOORMANOkay if this dog wants to get in he is going to have to play dead right her.Charlie puts his hand gently on the back of Stubby’s neck.CHARLIEStubby take a seat.Stubby leans back and props himself on his right leg then acts exhausted.DOORMANGood enough for me go ahead guys.Stubby snorts then jerks his head up at the doorman as he trots by. Stubby gets a few feet from the door and is suddenly stopped by his leash.CHARLIEWhoa!REXWe hit the jack pot!The ballroom is full of beautiful women. Rex takes his hat off and slides over to a young lady.REXExcuse me miss but, I must have your name.The young lady smiles and walks out on to the dance floor. Charlie walks over to the refreshment area and starts to nibble on some food.CHARLIESit Stubby.Stubby sits at attention then Charlie throws a piece of meat in the air. Stubby vaults through the air to catch it.MABLEIs that your dog.Charlie looks her in the eyes and she begins to blush.CHARLIEMable.MABLECharlie. Listen you left before I could thank you for fixing my flat tire.He throws Stubby a another piece and the dog does a back flip after catching it. People walk up to Stubby and give him tons of attention. Rex walks over to Charlie.REXSome of the girls over there want to pet Stubby. Can I barrow him.Stubby gives Charlie and nudge on his knee.CHARLIESure.MABLEYour dog is so cute. Would you like to Dance? Mable Pulls Charlie on to the dance floor.Mable and Charlie whisk around the dance floor and the Apple club is flush vibrant and loud. A jazz band plays as the crowd dances with the wildest moves of the flapper jazz style. Stubby follows Rex then looks back at Charlie and gives him a wink.MABLEThere is an observatory at the top of this club. We should go look at the stars. Would you like that?CHARLIEYes I would love that.MABLELets go.Mable grabs Charlie’s hand and leads him up a flight of stairs. A man at the top of the stairs is standing beside a machine watching it’s gears turn until it pops out a pressed coin with the Clubs logo of an apple on it.MABLELook isn't it swell.Mable opens her purse and pulls a penny out then sticks it in the machine. The gears turn pushing the penny press. When it comes out the penny is flattened and in the Shape of an oval. Mable hands it to Charlie.MABLEHere something to remember me by.Charlie looks at the transformed penny in his hand with astonishment.CHARLIEThank you.Mable pulls Charlie into the elevator. And the attendent holds the door open for the couple.ELEVATOR ATTENDENTWere to sir.MableThe observatory.ELEVATOR ATTENDENTYes mam.The elevator bell rings and the attendent stretches his arm lead the two out of the elevator and into the observatory floor.INT. -- THE APPLE CLUB’S OBSERVATORY (TOP FLOOR) -- NIGHTCharlie hands the man a tip and Mable continues to lead Charlie to the edge of the Overlook were there is a telescope pointed up at the sky. Mable tilts into the telescope for a peek.MABLEOh Charlie you must take a look at this. I have never seen the moon look so exquisite.Charlie looks hrough the telescope after Mable. He then looks at her and smiles noticing a black ring around Mable’s eye.CHARLIETell me about it.Charlie is looking at Mable as she looks up from the telescope their eyes meet. Mable giggles and points at Charlie’s eye.CHARLIEWhat is so funny?There is a black ink ring around Charlie’s eye.MABLELook.Mable points to Charlie’s reflection in a window. He looks at his reflection then back at Mable. As Mable laughs Charlie catches her off guard with a kiss. Mable pulls back from the kiss after three seconds of sparks flying.CHARLIEI’m sorry Mable you just struck my heart chord with your smile. I don’t know If I will survive the war and I would hate to know I went with out trying to kiss a beautiful woman like yourself. Would you Marry me.Charlie gets down on one knee.MABLECharlie you are a handsome man. I just can’t see myself getting attached to some one who is going off to war. I want to help soldiers but, not marry one. I am too young to wait on a man.CHARLIEThere is a fire in your eyes. The glow from it warms my heart.Mable looks away from Charlie and out on the view of New York City at night.MABLEMy eyes are no different than everyone that lives in this city. They too have a fire in their eyes.Mable leans over the edge and lets the wind blow back her hair.MABLELook at all the lights Charlie.Mable points at a lamp glowing far in the distance.MABLELook. That is the house I once lived in with my mother. She was beautiful and so happy. We were so happy even though we had no money. My father left us so my mother had to work all the time but, we loved each other dearly. I learned how to enjoy life and then she died and left me alone.Charlie takes hold of Mable’s hand and warms them in his.MABLEI’m not sad Charlie. I know my destiny is to help poor men wounded from fighting the evil Germans. They want to take over the world and destroy freedom.Mable looks out at the city lights while Charlie continues to hold her hand.MABLEI cannot promise myself to one man when so many need my help. French hospitals are over run with wounded soldiers.MABLECharlie when you leave promise me you will be safe.CHARLIE(reassuring)Don’t worry I have plenty of friends watching my back.Charlie extends his arm and Mable takes hold of it as he leads her in a slow dance. Some of the soldiers have made their way up to the observatory.REXCharlie stubby has a new trick to show you.Stubby sits at attention with a grape balanced on his nose.REXAlright hold Stubby.Stubby balances the grape.RexNow eat.Stubby tosses the grape up then flips back on his hind legs catching the grape as he lands. Mable surprised places her hand over her mouth. The crowd around Stubby applauds in amusement.EXT. -- U.S.S. MINNESOTA -- DAYSoldiers stand beside a large naval ship docked in rough waters. It is cold and raining as Charlie’s platoon stands in perfect lines with arms behind their backs. The captain is dressed in all white and highly decorated. He walks in front of the men inspecting their stance. He walks past Charlie glance at him briefly then continues walking. As he speaks he has a gold tooth that shines.CAPTIANMen you are about to trod foreign soil and become heroes. You might get shot and you might die.The captain walks up to Rex.CAPTAINPut your chest out soldier.Rex sticks out his chest as he stands in attention.CAPTIANI can guarantee you this, you won’t die for nothing. One thing is certain you will get there on time. At ease!The men put their arms to their side.CAPTAINGrab your gear and load up men you’re going to fight the war.Stubby crawls out of Charlie’s bag as he bends down to pick it up. The Captains back is turned as Charlie quickly hides stubby under his coat. The soldiers load on to the large warship. Charlie walks into a small room with bunk beds.CHARLIEI guess this is home till we get to France.Rex and a few soldiers walk into the room and place their bags down.REXHey Charlie how’s Stubby?CHARLIEWell, we made it.REXSay Stubby want some beef jerky.Stubby smiles and barks in excitement. Charlie quickly grabs the jerky out of Rex’s hand and puts it in Stubby’s mouth.CHARLIEGuys we are going to have to keep stubby quite. The Drill Sergent said the captain doesn't allow animals on the ship so I had to sneak Stubby on.Brad, a larger soldier with a shirt on that is to small starts to pat Stubby on his head.BRADWe will help take care of him. I’ll bring some food from dinner.Wesley, a tall skinny soldier scratches Stubby under his ear.WESLEYI will take him outside when it’s night.CHARLIEGreat. If Stubby can stay in the room while we do our crew jobs everything will work out.A soldier standing by the room door Stands at attention as the Captain walks by and slightly pauses by the door to the room Stubby is in.CAPTIANSoldier make sure everyone in your quarters knows we are meeting on the Ship deck at o seven hundred.SOLDIERYes sir.The Captian looks in the room suspiciously then sniffs and continues walking down the hall passing other small rooms with soldiers making their beds.EXT. -- U.S.S. MINNESOTA -- DAYThe soldiers walk into their perfectly formed lines then snap to attention as their drill sergent walks past them on the ship deck.CAPTIAN(sternly)Men this is wear you grow some hair on your chest before get in the trenches. You will get plenty of sleep on this ship because you might not get it once your sleeping on dirt. You wont sleep when you get close to the enemy. You just bite down your lip and rest.INT. -- STUBBY’S SHIP QUARTERS -- DAY(SAME TIME)Stubby walks up to the door and puts his ear against it. He makes a moaning sound and scratches on the crack. Stubby jumps onto a bunk bed beside the door. He backs up slowly then runs and leaps off the bunk bed and lands on the door latch knocking it door open. Stubby grins at the open door then uses his nose to squeeze out the small room.EXT. -- U.S.S. MINNESOTA -- DAY (SAME TIME)The captain paces in front of the soldiers with his chest out and his arms behind his back. The old captain wears a monocle and has a grey mustache that covers his lips. He is also wearing white gloves and shoes the shine immaculately.CAPTAINYou might want to clean those shoes off private. While your at it start swabbing the deck.The soldier takes off to a bucket and mop the captain is pointing to. Brad turns his head to Charlie and whistles.BRAD(whispering)Charlie isn't that Stubby.Charlie looks to his right to see Stubby trotting up to the deck. Stubby looks at the Captain who is intensely glaring at Wesley. Charlie nods his head and widens his eyes as he mouths the words “go back” to Stubby. Stubby winks and walks up to Charlie’s side and plops down.CAPTAINWhile you are on this ship you will need to pay close attention to your duties. I will let you know the Germans have submarines so an attack could be sudden and with out warning.Stubby yawns and the Captain whips his head around and glares at the dog.CAPTAINWell, What do we have hear? I guess someone decided to bring their dog on the ship knowing the rules I have against pets on the ship.Stubby burps and the soldiers chuckle then snap back to attention as the Captian snarls at them.CAPTIANAt attention. What is this? Who brought the dog? A dog has no business on the battle field.The Captian looks down at Stubby and a surprised look sweeps across his face. He looks at Stubby who is saluting the captain at strict attention. The Captain is Baffled by the dogs talent and obedience.CAPTIANWho’s dog is this?Charlie softly responds.CHARLIEIt’s my dog sir.The Captain changes his attention from Stubby to Charlie.CAPTIANWhat’s his name.CHARLIEStubby sir.CAPTAINHe is well disciplined dog.CHARLIEThank you sir.The captain walks past Charlie then turns around and takes off his monocle.CHARLIESir I apologize for bringing him on the ship.CAPTAINIf he adds morale I guess I am no one to make him walk the plank.The captain walks to the front of the ship.CAPTAIN(wisely)Well I hope everyone enjoyed last night, because when we reach France the Germans will be waiting for us and everything you learned in your basic training will be put to use.INT. -- U.S.S. MINNESOTA -- NIGHTThe strong winds and high waves rock the boat. Charlie and Stubs rest on the bunk bed in the small room. Soldiers toss and turn in their beds and Stubs closes his eyes and lays his head on Charlie’s chest.REXCharlie do you think we will get to eat french toast when we get there. I heard that the French have really good food.Stubby’s ears perk up and Charlie cracks one of his eyes.CHARLIE(gruff sleepy voice)I think we will be able to get something to eat. I don’t know about french toast.BRAD(hyper)Do you think we will meet any French women Charlie?Stubby barks.BRADI sure would like to meet a nice french woman.WESLEYI think you would have better luck with the french toast Brad.A soldiers stomach growls.REXUm. French toast.Rex tiptoes to the door and slowly turns around.REXAll this talk about french toast and I can’t take it anymore. Are you hungry Stubby?One ear flaps down and Stubby lets out a signature yelp before Charlie covers his mouth.CHARLIE(nervous)What if we wake the captain?BRADWhat if we don’t? I know my abilities to become silent.Brad steps back into a shadow and becomes invisible.REXStubby can keep watch. Look he’s ready to eat some french toast already.Stubby sits grinning with his mouth watering.WESLEYI think we can easily do this Charlie.BRADWell I’m hungry. Lets go.Charlie follows the group of soldiers out the room. Brad leads the group and heads to the corner of the ships hallway. Brad is followed by Wesley then Rex and last is Charlie with Stubby beside him. A storm rages outside with lightning bolts blasting the back of endless waves and rain. Brad cracks the door then turns to look back at the group of soldiers wearing military issued dog tags white shirts and pants.BRADWesley you stay here and keep watch. Rex go to the captain’s stairwell and keep your ear to the wall. You will hear him snore.REXBring back some corn bread.BRADDon’t worry I got you. Charlie you and Stubby follow me. We are going to need this.Brad points to a cart by the door.BRADWe will need this to sneak the ice cream back.Charlie’s eyes light up.CHARLIE(excited)You know were there is ice cream?BRADYeah. A freezer full of it. I even know were the captain keeps his special chocolate chip ice cream. I know I can take some without getting caught. Becoming stealth and invisible is my specialty.Brad walks into the kitchen pushing a laundry cart then quickly pauses extending his arm and closing his palm. Brad puts his finger over his lips to suggest silence. Stubby saunters beside a soldier guarding the kitchen door. The soldier who is half asleep peering out the window and at the storm slightly raises his eyebrow and notices stubby as the dog heads out a door to the ship deck.SOLDIERHey! Don’t go out there it’s storming.Stubby gives the soldier an unconcerned look then trots out on to the deck. The soldier chases after Stubby while Brad and Charlie make their move for the ships kitchen. Brad walks past the stove then looks at a large door with a lock on it. Charlie opens a lid to a pan.CHARLIESmells like someone’s corn bread.Brad pries open the large steel door and a billow of freezing air escapes the icy room.BRADGrab the corn bread and throw it in the bottom of the cart. I will get the good stuff.Brad opens the lid of an ice cream can then quickly closes it after he has confirmation of it’s flavor.BRADChocolate chip It’s all mine as much as I can take.Brad starts throwing the cartons in the laundry cart.BRADAlright lets get out of here and try not to get seen guys.EXT. -- SHIP’S DECK -- NIGHTStubby scoots across the wet deck narrowly missing the soldiers dive at him. Stubby turns back around and winks at the soldier. As rain and strong winds pelt the boat the soldier try to get up and continue chasing Stubby but, he slips as he gets up.SOLDIERWait! Don’t let the door shut.The door shuts behind Stubby and the Soldier that was once on guard by the kitchen now holds on to the guard rail of the ship as it sways with the force of each tall wave. The soldier climbs to the third deck and starts to bang on the window of the navigation room facing the ships deck. A soldier wearing earphones jumps up and runs to the door and lets his fellow soaked soldier out of the rain.INT. -- HALLWAY BY THE CAPTAIN’S STAIRWELL -- NIGHTRex listens to the wall as the captain snores loudly and mumbles in his sleep. Stubby runs past Rex and is soon followed by Charlie and Brad both pushing a laundry cart full of ice cream and corn bread.REXI smell corn bread.Charlie scoops Stubby up in his arms and the three revel in the glory of the hasty heist.CHARLIELets get back to the quarters and eat.EXT. -- U.S.S. MINNESOTA -- MORNINGThe soldiers are completely focused on their tasks at hand. Charlie and Stubby are mopping the deck and the captain walks by them as they are continuously moving back and forth along the deck.CAPTAINWell, boys it is always calmest before the storm. We are three days from landing and there will be no turning around. If you want to go home too bad. We won’t let you. This is the most honorable trip you will ever be on. There is no stopping now. The sky has cleared up for you today because, someone above wants you to win. Alright men now get to your duties.The men disperse across the ship. The Captian grabs Charlie by the arm.CAPTIANI would like for you and Stubby to meet with me to the Stern of the boat.Charlie gulps air and Stubby looks up at Charlie afraid to follow. Stubby gets up and follows Charlie with his tail between his legs.CAPTIANIt is my knowledge that while I was asleep Stubby was out and about on the deck.CHARLIEHe must have figured a way to get out of the room sir.CAPTIANSome one also took corn bread and ice cream from the kitchen. I can’t help but to think the events are related.The Captian looks down at Charlie then Stubby.CAPTIANI’m not mad at you. Food is meant to be eaten. As you and your fellow soldiers are aware of it also has to be cleaned up. For the remainder of your time on his boat you will have kitchen duties. I like my kitchen cleaned before each meal. In three days we are going to land in France. When we arrive it will be different from anything you have expected. Charlie all is fair in love and war.The Captain looks out of his window at the calm sea.CAPTIANFrance is a beautiful country and the people there need our help Charlie. One day your children will live in a free world and that is because you stepped on this boat and on that grass. Whatever happens when you get off just know that.The Captian turns back around to Charlie and stares right through him. Charlie looks out the window and the sun light reflects off the waves.CAPTIANGo about your duties Charlie.Charlie walks out the door but, the Captian raises his voice level right before Charlie exits.CAPTIAN(shockingly)Private.Charlie quickly snaps to attention then looks at the captain with confidence.CAPTIANSon breathe with serenity and fight with passion. You are standing up for those that can’t help themselves and are completely enslaved. When you step off this boat you will already be heros. You may kill a few bad guys and save a few lives just don’t forget yourself and you will be home before you know it.The captain’s face is weathered, whiskery and marked with scars from the past.CHARLIEYes sir.Charlie salutes the Captain then Stubby does the same.CAPTIANYou are dismissed soldier.Charlie and Stubby walk out of the Captains room as they leave the Captian gazes out at sea and cracks a smile. The boat cruises through the open sea.EXT. -- PORT IN FRANCE -- SUNRISEThe massive war ship docks at the port. Soldiers begin unloading with their bags in hand. Stubby trots off the boat and down a ramp beside Charlie.CHARLIEYou smell that fresh air? We are on land now Stubby.Stubby looks up and Charlie pauses as an approaching shadow looms over him.CHARLIEThe sun is out and it feels great outside.A commanding officer walks up to Charlie casting a shadow down on Stubby.OFFICER PERIL(loud and authoritative)At attention soldiers. I am officer Peril.Charlie and his fellow soldier snap to attention. Stubby finds a quick seat beside Charlie.OFFICER PERILWhen I am finished addressing you every one will line up at the door and get their noggin scalped. You don’t need hair were we are going.You will need these things not just for you but,The officer looks at the soldiers then down at StubbyOFFICER PERILThe soldiers that will be replacing you. You will also receive your back packs with a change of clothes and rations.Stubby and Charlie look nervous as the officer looks down at Charlie’s dog.OFFICER PERILYou must be Stubby.Stubby salutes the officer with his right paw.OFFICER PERILI heard about how smart you are. We can always use another good soldier on the front line.The officer then looks up at Charlie who is at attention and staring into the distance. Charlie looks at the officer through the corner of his eye.OFFICER PERILAt ease men the danger isn't here.The officer addressing the new regiment turns and points in the distance.OFFICER PERILFollow the road about a kilometer down from the store.The officer points down a dirt road to a small cabin with a steady flow of soldiers in and out the doors. He then points to a vehicle stop beside the small lodge.OFFICER PERILThere is a train those trucks run you to and it will be departing there at zero sixteen hundred hours.The officer senses a hesitation in the facial expression and eyes of the men he is addressing. The Sounds of the war to come are eminent in the moving machines charging the distance.OFFICER PERILHave faith men that is something the Germans don’t. There is no turning back now men. I say men because you listening are now legends and will be remembered through picture shows and stories told to Grand Children. You are already heroes. Since you are already heroes you have a store credit of two dollars for extra expenses you should take your own wallet.The officer looks away then back at the soldiers gathered at attention waiting for their release.OFFICER PERILAs an American this is your destiny. Some ask what is war good for. This is the war to end all wars. You will work beside your French and English brothers to defeat the Germans. It is our destiny to win for our future generations.The soldiers disperse. Charlie and Stubby get their heads shaved by a pair of clippers. The clippers zip off their hair one inch strips at a time until they are completely bald. A broom sweeps it into a giant pile. Soldiers are in a long line waiting for a hair cut. Officer Peril steps on a chair in front of a long line of soldiers in barber chairs.OFFICER PERILAfter you lose your hair move along to the market and find your ready wears. You will need to pick up extra socks, there is going to be a lot of mud.INT. -- MARKET LODGE -- AFTERNOONSoldiers are purchasing different materials and supplies. The small cabin is covered wall to wall with foods, gum, and beef jerky. Charlie approaches the counter were the store clerk, a small man is adding up charges for the soldiers purchased goods when the line moves putting him at the front.CLERKCan I help you sir.CHARLIEI will take some beef jerky. How’s that sound stubby?CLERKExcuse me sir.CHARLIEOh I was talking to my dog.The clerk leans across the wood counter and looks at Stubby.CHARLIEStubby Salute.Stubby does his signature salute for the clerk who readjusted his bifocals in amazement.CLERKI’d say that is a smart dog. How about some extra jerky for stubby.CHARLIESure.The clerk slides a hand full of extra jerky in a bag.CLERKAnything else?Charlie looks up and rubs his chin in deep thought.CHARLIEI imagine I will need a pen and some paper for letters home to mom.The clerk bags up Charlie’s things and hands it to him.CLERKExtra ink in there for you.CHARLIEAppreciate it.Rex and Brad are waiting at the door. Brad holds up a small instrument.BRAD(excited)It’s a ukulele. Small enough to fit in my back pack. I probably play better than you.Wesley pokes his head in the post exchange door then blows out a blues riff on a harmonica.WESLEYSound off! French women have no fear American men are here.BRADNot bad but, you will have to play faster if you want to keep up with me.EXT. -- A SMALL FRENCH VILLAGE -- TWILIGHTA train forges from behind large hills then squeals to a halt. Steam emits from the engine and the train full of soldiers watch on with eager eyes at a small village gathering at the train stop to. Children and women run up to the train and the soldiers on the cars rise from their seats to watch the people run in excitement to the train cars. Rex turns around in his seat to look back at Charlie.REXWhat do you think of this?Wesley is hanging his head out the window and blushing while he makes eye contact with a young woman in the crowd. Brad walks up beside him and grabs his wrist patiently touching wrist measuring Wesley’s heartbeat.BRADI think we can determine this that one is in love.Brad grabs Wesley’s wrist an measures his pulse.WESLEYI think I’m in love.BRADWhen you know it you will sing it.Brad gets a kiss on the cheek. Wesley glances on at Stubby who is getting a peck on the snout when Charlie’s notices a familiar face in the crowd.REXHot dog will you look at the nurses.Stubby drools on the train seat with beef jerky hanging from his mouth. He jumps up to look out the window.CHARLIE(excited)Mable! Just the woman I’ve been looking for.Charlie’s eyes widen as Mable lifts her head as she sifts through the crowd. Astonished to see Charlie on the train Mable runs up to the window Charlie is leaning out of. She is dressed in a nurse uniform of a long grey dress and nuns hat. Many of the other women at the stop were dressed the same way.CHARLIEYou look beautiful.Mable steps up to the side of the train and blushes as she hands Charlie a Fresh pair of socks.MABLEI knitted these. I want you to have them.CHARLIEThank you.MABLECharlie I have thought about you everyday since we parted.MABLEIt is the least I could do. Sister Mary Higgins said only a few will get to assist on the front line with you men.CHARLIEYou shouldn't do that. The front line is not for women.MABLEHow would you know? You have not gotten there yet.Charlie looks in Mable’s florescent eyes and senses her urgency to help.CHARLIEI have known since first glance that I love you. Your eyes give me hope. If you can promise me your hand I will hold your ring...Charlie pulls out an empty hand then forms a ring with his thumb and pointer finger.CHARLIENext to my heart until we are found together.Charlie leans down and out of the window. Mable pushes up on her toes. The two connect with a kiss and the train begins to move, as an officer at the front of the train walks off.REXDon’t bother getting off guysThe officer pauses in the door way as he watches his fellow soldiers transact with nurses and native french locals.CHARLIEWe are about to depart just say that you will mary me..Charlie holds Mable’s hand.MABLEYes. I will marry you Charlie.The train starts to chug down the track as the engine pushes out steam at a faster rate.CHARLIEKeep me in your heart. I will be back and close to you before you know it.MABLE(shouting)I can’t wait for you. I’m joining the yeomen.Rex attempts to pull soldiers out of the windows and to their seat but, they stare like lost children being stripped of the only people they know and love. Rex is fixated on the direction the train is heading. Charlie sits back down and Stubby leans next to him. Charlie holds the socks tight in his hands.REX(eager)Pipe down guys. We aren't going to be here long. There is a world war to fight.Mable bites her lip as she looks at Charlie’s train chugging into the distance. Gripped with emotion she begins to cry. The iron wheels to the large engine car squeal and slip to reach a higher speed. In the far distance smoke can be seen and loud bombs echo from the horizon. Planes ZOOM over the train and propeller blades lace over heavy but, low rumbling echoes of bombs exploding. Mable blows a kiss on her hand to Charlie’s train as it barrels down the tracks.EXT. -- ALLIED CAMP -- NIGHTThe train slowly rolls to a stop at a military base. There are army jeeps and soldiers lined up beside a small out post.CHARLIELooks like the big guns are coming out.BRADLook at the size of those cannons.One of the cannons are hitched to a large military vehicle. That heads off down a dirt road. Officer Peril steps on the train. Brad, Rex, Wesley, Charlie and Stubby all sit staring out at the rush of ammunition and cannons headed to the front line. Officer Peril walks in the train car.OFFICER PERILWell men, it seems we were both able to make it here on time.The men look surprised to see officer Peril.OFFICER PERILGet off the train and in to the soup line. Put a move on it we have to be in the trenches by dawn.The sounds of bombs are now much louder and intense. There is also the sounds of leather boots marching in unison mixed with a clattering of weapons as the troops head down a road leading to the front line.EXT. -- ROAD LEADING TO THE FRONT LINE -- SUNRISEThe sun is barley creeping over the eastern horizon casting their shadows a step ahead of them. Officer Peril leads the battalion of troops down the dirt road. The men look behind them as they watch their camp get smaller in the distance. Brad turns to Wesley.BRADIts awfully quite compared to last night.Wesley looks down at the road they are walking on and picks up a piece of clothing similar to his uniform. The men slow their pace and begin to look around.WESLEYWe are standing in an artillery craters. Look.Wesley points at another large crater to the right of him.BRADLook they are everywhere.Stubby barks loudly.Charlie kneels beside Stubby and looks at him as he places his paw over his nose. The captain stops the troops and looks at Stubby.CHARLIEWhat’s wrong boy?The Officer Peril’s eyes light up as he realizes what Stubby is trying to tell them.OFFICER PERIL(projecting his voice with cupped hands)Everyone get on your gas masks now!The troops rapidly pull out their gas masks and begin putting them on. Charlie places a mask over Stubby’s face and tightens the straps. A large bomb suddenly explodes over a hill in the distance. The troop looked shocked at the amount of dirt thrown into the air from the bomb. Officer Peril holds up his hand and signals for the battalion of soldier to follow him and they do.EXT. -- FRONT LINE -- DAWNThe air around the soldiers is thick with dust and mustard gas making it hard for the soldiers to see more than ten or fifteen feet in front of them. A soldier wearing a gas mask jogs up to officer Peril. Rex then turns to Charlie.REXI don’t like the look of this. He’s running away.Charlie looks down at Stubby and gives him a few pats on the head.CHARLIEIt will be alright boy.Charlie watches Officer Peril and the soldier exchange words but, he can only watch Officer Peril’s hand gestures. The gas masks and bombs make it impossible for Charlie to understand what the two are saying to each other. Then Officer Peril points northwest and the soldier turns in the same direction and points back at the battalion behind Officer Peril. Officer Peril takes off his gas mask and faces his troops.OFFICER PERIL(shouting)A hundred yards further then we start digging.Officer Peril slides his mask down over his face.CHARLIEA hundred more yards.EXT. -- TRENCHES -- DAWNThe battalion of soldiers follow Officer Peril and Stubby who is now in front of Officer Peril. As Stubby reaches the first trench a man with a machine gun and his shirt off is firing rounds into the storm of dust.The machine gunner turns around and looks at Stubby. Officer Peril and the battalion marches up behind Stubby. Then stops to look at the machine gunner who is without a gas mask.MACHINE GUNNERThe gas is gone. You can take off your masks.Rex takes off his mask and curls his lip.REXWhat is that horrible smell.The machine gunner turns to look at Rex.MACHINE GUNNERThat’s my buddies. Are you going to stand there or are you going to fight.The machine gunners turns back around and a bullet zips through his shoulder.OFFICER PERILRex man that machine gun.REXYes sir.Dust still hangs in the air making the Dawn look more like dusk. Officer Peril steps down in the trench and points to several shovels lined up inside the trench. Officer Peril walks through his battalion who are gathered in the trench.OFFICER PERILOur job will be to extend this trench.A bomb explodes ten yards in front of the battalion causing dirt to rain on the soldiers.OFFICER PERILGet digging! Charlie bring Stubby over here.Charlie and Stubby run up to the officer who then places his hand on Charlie’s shoulder.OFFICER PERILThere are some missing soldiers. We know they are over there.The officer points out in to the dust storm.OFFICER PERILWe can’t see them so we are going to need Stubby to use his nose to try and find these guys. Take this.Officer Peril hands Charlie a compass.OFFICER PERILTo get back head south east.He then looks down at Stubby.OFFICER PERILFind them for us Stubby.Stubby and Charlie charge forward in the chaos of bullets bombs and dust. Stubby suddenly pauses and perks his right ear letting his left paw lift slowly up.EXT. -- NO MAN’S LAND -- AFTERNOONThe sun is still barley visible as the two forge on through the deadly area between trenches. After several minutes of Stubby sniffing the ground he stops. After deep concentration Stubby leads Charlie in the direction of a muffled moan.CHARLIEYou will be ok.The soldier grabs his leg and blood oozes out from between his fingers.WOUNDED SOLDIER ONEHelp me.Charlie grabs the wounded soldier and leans into him with his shoulders. Stubby pulls at Charlie’s pants leg. The dog looks up at Charlie then into the distance.CHARLIE(exhausted)I’m going to take you back.Charlie struggles to his feet lifting the wounded man up.CHARLIE(struggling)Go find the others Stubby.Stubby watches Charlie run back to the trench carrying the wounded man. Stubby trots further into the thick dusty air as bombs go off around him. Undeviating from the scent Stubby follows his nose until he finds it on pigeon toes. Sergeant Wings is an older pigeon with a tall grey Mohawk.SERGENT WINGS(screaming)Were are you headed? Do you even know were you are? All alone out her in “no man’s land.” What did you say?STUBBYI didn't say anything yet.SERGENT WINGSWhat!?STUBBYCan you hear me?SERGENT WINGS(shouting)The bombs effected my hearing so you are going to have to speak a little louder.STUBBYI haven't said anything yet!I’ve got a pretty good sense of direction.Stubby looks the bird over then squints his eyes.SERGENT WINGSTo your right.Stubby looks around searching for his scent. He then looks up frustrated at the pigeon.SERGENT WINGSRelax! I am on your side.The pigeon lifts his wing and points to a small tube around his neck.SERGENT WINGSA message about the western front its for allies only.The pigeon then points to were a bomb just exploded.SERGENT WINGSIf you are looking for the wounded soldiers they are that way! Trust me!WOUNDED SOLDIER TWOHelp.Stubby runs in the direction of the man’s voice.EXT. -- ALLIED TRENCHES -- AFTERNOONOfficer Peril walks down a narrow board ducking as he walks down the trenches stinking walls. Brad lifts his gun as he notices a familiar feature in the dust. Charlie, extremely fatigued, carries the soldier to the trenches and in exhaustion crumbles to his knees under the weight of the soldier on his shoulders.BRAD(shouting)Hold your fire it’s Charlie.CHARLIEThere are more out there. I’m going back.SOLDIERCover him.The soldiers begin firing off shots as Charlie disappears into the cloud of dirt. Then like clock work one by one the soldiers that could stay and fight did. A soldier trying to look through binoculars are amazed to see Charlie. As Charlie returns Officer Peril jumps up to the top of the trench and helps him to Pull in a man. One by one they lift the men into jeeps with red crosses on the side. The jeeps take off with another one immediately taking it’s place. Officer Peril looks down at Charlie resting on stool in a red mud.CHARLIEStubby is still out there.Charlie picks himself up from the muddy trench floor.OFFICER PERILHere take a sip of this.Officer Peril hands Charlie the canteen off his shoulder.CHARLIE(softly)I’m going back.Charlie pulls himself up and steps to a ladder leading out of the trench when Officer Peril grabs his arm. You are going to need this. Officer Peril opens a wooden box and pulls out a chink metal jacket.OFFICER PERILIt weighs thirty pounds but, it will take several rounds of machine gun fire without bullets getting through.Officer Peril helps Charlie slide into the big metal bag with sleeves.OFFICER PERILTake these the keep the dust out of your eyes.Officer Peril hands Charlie a helmet then a pair of goggles. Charlie crawls to the top of the trench. Sparks fly as a bullet hits the jacket.EXT. -- NO MAN’S LAND -- DAYCharlie charges on as bombs bombard the landscape around him. Dead soldiers lay beside each other still holding their weapons. Charlie Whistles and a muffled bark is heard from the distance. One of the dead soldiers moves his arm. Charlie turns around and a watches a German crawl to his knees and points a weapon at Charlie. Out of the dust leaps Stubby. Stubby flies through the air and clamps down with his jaw on the soldiers wrist. The German screams and drops the gun. Charlie dives on the pistol and points it up at the German soldier.CHARLIEDon’t move.Stubby grins with blood on his fangs as the German soldier grabs his wounded hand.CHARLIEPut your hands on your head turn around and walk.EXT. -- ALLIED TRENCHES -- DAYBrad strums and picks out a lovely melody on his ukulele while Wesley slowly and softly chimes in with the same note on his harmonica. Some soldiers are hanging their heads napping while others smoke cigarettes and gaze at the sky that turns blue.REXStubby is back!Brad stops playing and Wesley takes the harmonica away from his mouth.WESLEYHe made it.The soldiers cheer as Charlie approaches the front line with the captured German. He shoves the prisoner into the trench and Rex ties up the German’s hands then pushes his face in the mud and steps on his chest.BRADHow should we kill him?Officer Peril walks over to the German.OFFICER PERILBefore we hang a bull’s eye on this guy’s chest lets get a translator. Maybe we can find out the Hun’s next move.RexYou better start talking.OFFICER PERILGet the translator. Wesley pat him down.CHARLIEI already did.Charlie pulls a piece of paper out of his pocket.OFFICER PERILWell what do we have here?The German shouts in his native language. Charlie holds up the piece of paper and officer Peril walks over to him.OFFICER PERILWhat have you got. Looks like a picture of some kindVONOr a treasure map.Stubby barks and growls at Von a German translator for the American army. He has brown rotted teeth and walks with a slight limp on his right side.VONEasy puppy I’m a good guy.Von looks down at the German on the ground and smiles.OFFICER PERILWhat are saying? Ask him what it means.Von asks the German a question and gets a response from the German soldier in a very angry tone.VONThis is a map to buried German gold.The captured German screams and spits at the translator. Rex hit the hostage on the back of the head with the wood stock of his gun.CHARLIEThis is now an official government document. We should send it to someone else. It could haveOFFICER PERILExactly how much gold are we talking about here.VONThe Germans have so much gold that they have several different places with up to several million American dollars worth of gold hidden from the allied troops.Officer Peril grabs the map from his Charlie’s hand and turns to the group of soldiers gathered around.OFFICER PERIL(whispering)We can either turn this in or look for what this map leads to.Officer peril holds the map up to the German translator.OFFICER PERILCan you figure this out.VONIt is written in codes but, the words are German. This word is is house in German.CHARLIEIsn't there a village around here that’s name means house. The spot in the center looks like wind mill.The Charlie and Rex move closer to the map it’s circle around Von.VONIt is most likely buried some where in the french town of Chateau Lile.Officer Peril walks up with a map in his hand. He holds up the blood stained map Charlie found on the now unconscious German soldier. He compares both the maps.OFFICER PERILThe town is German occupied. Is there any way to get around the German lines.Von points to the map.VONThere is a creek that leads through several small farms. If we stay low to the water it is possible to pass right by the German camp without being seen.Officer Peril looks folds the map and places it in Charlie’s hand then looks at Von.OFFICER PERILThis is a top secret mission. You don’t have to do this but, you do have to keep your mouths shut about it. Never speak a word of this to any one.Stubby barks loudly and Officer Peril looks down at him.OFFICER PERILDon’t worry you can go too.Officer Peril looks down at Stubby. Von points to the map.VONIf we leave at sundown we should reach German front at midnight. The mission will have to be done how do you say, stealthily?OFFICER PERILRex I want you going with them. Can you handle that?Rex holds up a Tommy gun.REXLock and load to steal German gold boys. I’m ready now.Officer Peril squints his eyes as he looks up at the sun.OFFICER PERILI want you guys leaving at sunset. By the look of the map it will take you all night to reach the town. Britain is poisoning these lines with mustard gas. Word down the ladder is they are launching the western front tomorrow. Allied troops will be occupying this town by the time you reach the gold. I will have a medical vehicle waiting at the fountain right by this quarter of town.Officer Peril circles a section on both maps.OFFICER PERILNorth East from the wind mill.Stubby barks loudly.CHARLIEDuck!The soldiers drop down while others slide in to fox holes and tunnels leading under the trench. A bomb hits the trenches as Charlie puts his arm and right side over Stubby. Charlie looks up to see nothing but smoke. His ears are ringing and his vision is blurred. Charlie trips over a body falling flat on his face. Beside him is officer Peril. Charlie looks at Officer Peril’s face and it is covered with dirt and blood.CHARLIEOfficer Peril can you hear me.Officer Peril shows no expression. He gasps for breathe and places the map in Charlie’s hand.OFFICER PERILGet the gold.Charlie stands up as the dirt and smoke thicken the air. Charlie coughs. A loud BUZZ rings in Charlie’s head. Slowly soldiers begin to moan and pull themselves up. Von crawls out a fox hole and Rex pulls himself out of the mud and sand bags piled on top of him. Brad walks through the haze. His ears are bleeding as he struggle for a breath. Out of no where a Von walks in front of him and stabs him covering Brad’s mouth at the same time.VONShhh! You go to sleep now.Rex walks over to Von who is hunched over Brad.REXIs he OK?Von turns his head around and slowly slides the blade up his sleeve then leans his ear close to Brads mouth as if listening for a breathe.REX(shouting)Is he alive!VON(softly)He’s dead.Charlie walks up to Rex as the dirt and smoke start to clear.CHARLIEOfficer Peril is dead.Wesley walks up with his head hanging. He lifts his face and a single tear rolls down his right cheek.WESLEYBrad is dead.Von looks at Charlie.VONDid you get the map.CHARLIEIt was Officer Peril’s last wish that we go get that we carry out the mission.A soft familiar voice Cries out from behind the trench lines. Charlie turns around to see Mable’s face. She is applying a tourniquet as medical personnel lift the wounded soldiers in to the back of a jeep. Mable runs toward the trench full of shell shocked and wounded soldiers. Charlie grabs hold of her before she gets in the trench.MABLECharlie are you hurt?CHARLIEI’m alright but, I need your help.Mable looks Charlie over then touches his cheek with her hand.MABLEAnything. I will be there.CHARLIEAfter the Western front moves throughout the enemy lines I will set up a perimeter get a jeep and meet me at the fountain in the town square of Chateau Lile in 48 hours. This is a chance you will only have once in a life time top secret mission. Can you handle it?Mable smiles at Charlie then rounds to help a wounded man struggling to is knees.MABLEDon’t worry about me I will be there.Charlie tears the map in half and hands one half to Mable.CHARLIEMeet me at the fountain.A female nurse shouts at Mable.NURSESAll able hands help with the wounded.Charlie grabs Mable and Kisses her.MABLEI’ll be there.Mable runs to the medical jeeps and a nurse hands her an IV bag to hold. The jeep takes off leaving Charlie with only the fading tail lights of the jeep. He hangs his head and drops to the trench floor. Rex walks up to Charlie.REXDon’t worry buddy.Allied planes race over head and fly through a haze of gun fire. Some are nipped in the wings while others completely burst into flames and crash. Several planes do make it bombarding the enemy line. Wesley jumps up and screams in excitement.REXHow’s a little pay back feel!Rex’s fist is above his head and gripped tight with excitement. Rex looks at Charlie.VONAre we still on? I know the trail like the back of my hand.REXYeah, How do we know your not just lying to get a cut of gold.VONIt’s a sheep trail.Charlie pulls half the map out of his pocket.VONIf I came with you I could better lead you away from the German front. If I saw the map I can picture the route better.Charlie hands Von the map.VONWhere is the rest of it.CHARLIEIn my head.VONI need the rest of the map. You have to have the entire map were did you put it?Rex leans in to Von and places his hand on the translators shoulder.REXNobody is begging you to go Von. Stay here if you want.VONI can’t you will need me to sneek past the Germans.A setting sun dips completely under the horizon. The sky is a vibrant mix of orange and pink. Stubby watches the dirt wall beside him push out mud. From inside the wall a rat shoves himself out. The wiggles the rat walks up to Stubby who is attentively watching it.WIGGLES(whispering)I just came from the German front. Bombs are about to be raining down right over here. Good for me but, bad for your friends.STUBBYThanks for the heads up.Stubby jumps up and follows Charlie down the trench. Stubby runs in front of Charlie and barks loudly as he looks back at his master.CHARLIEWhat’s up boy?Stubby’s ears perk and the dog looks up at the sky.CHARLIEIncoming!Charlie and Stubby both hit the deck. A bomb whistles through the air and slams in the trench were Charlie and Stubby were just standing. The explosion lights up the front lines as several explosions rock “No Man’s Land”. Flames slowly fall from the sky creating brief moments of luminescence. Smoke clears and Charlie crawls up to his feet. His face is covered in dirt and his eyes are fixated on the hole were he was standing moments before the bomb hit. Rex and Von walk up to Charlie both covered in dirt.CHARLIE(gruffly)Let’s roll.EXT. -- NO MAN’S LAND -- TWILIGHTThe three soldiers are lead by stubby as they venture further away from their front lines and in to thick brush. Stubby stops and raises his right paw glaring intensely at a large bush in front of them. The bush begins to Shake.CHARLIE(frightened)Who’s there.The bush is still and only the sound of distant bombs explode.VON(in German)Who is there?Rex turns to Charlie and takes a deep breath and points his gun at the bush.CHARLIEGo get’em Stubby.Stubby rushes at the bush. As Stubby reaches the bush he slows down and starts to sniff. Sitting on a branch in the bush is a Pigeon, Sergeant Wings.SERGENT WINGSOh hey there Stubby. You startled me.Sergent Wings laughs and coo’s.SERGENT WINGSKind of far from the front lines.SERGENT STUBBYWe are on a top secret mission.SERGENT WINGSWell you are headed straight to a large pocket of German troops about twenty yards from here.Stubby looks in the direction Sergent Wings is pointing.SERGENT WINGSI hope you know what you are doing.Charlie walks up slowly up to Stubby and Sergent Wings fly off. Charlie looks back at Von and Rex then motions for them to follow him. Rex walks up to Charlie’s shoulder.REXWhat was that?CHARLIEA bird. There is nothing here.Von slips and falls as he walks up to Rex and Charlie. A branch under Von cracks as he falls.VONOww!Rex puts his hand over Von’s mouth.CHARLIESSSHHH.REXAre you trying to get us killed?Rex lets his hand off Von’s mouth and Von immediately takes in a deep breath.VONThe stream you are looking for is that way.Von points out in the direction of the German troops Sergent Wings pointed to. Charlie pulls out a compass and hold it up to the moon light.CHARLIEAccording to the map we should be heading this way.VONI think it would be quicker if we...Von is interrupted by CharlieCHARLIESorry Von but, I know the map follow me.Charlie walks away from the bush and down a narrow trail. Stubby runs to get in front of him. Rex follows Charlie and Von stands with an annoyed look on his face then gets in line. Charlie pulls a branch out of the way and catches the first glimpse of a stream. Charlie walks up to the water. Stubby licks his reflection in the stream. Charlie enters the Stream holding his gun over his head. Rex steps in after Charlie and shakes with goose pimples.REXIt’s freezing.Von is shivering and clacking his teeth as the three head down the stream. Stubby runs beside Charlie on the bank beside the stream.REXCharlie look.Charlie walks up to the creek bank.CHARLIEGermans. There camp is right were we need to go.REXIf we stay in the water they won’t see us.VON(in German)The fire looks warm.CHARLIEAlright when we reach the curve make no noise. We have to be completely silent. Just float with little movements. Try and stay as far under water as possible.Charlie looks at Stubby.CHARLIEStubby stay here.Charlie places his gun on the water’s edge then completely submerges under water. The three begin to float down the stream barley poking there heads above the water.VONI can’t go any further. I have to get out of this water.The fires from the German camp fires glow casting shadows on the trees lining the stream bank. Rex signals for Charlie to look at a sleeping soldier. The German is snoozing fast propped against a tree with his gun in his hand. Von’s jaws are clacking as he floats up to Rex and Charlie.VON(shaking)I’m freezing to death.Von sneezes loudly. A shot is fired in the stream as German voices start to shout. A torch light is pointed at the stream shining a light on the Von. The other two soldiers are completely submerged in the water. Rex comes up first gasping for breath.Charlie follows shortly after Rex exploding out of the water. By this time Germans completely surround rex and Charlie. Stubby runs up to the waters edge and Charlie shakes his head at him. Stubby creeps back into the shadows.VON(shouting in German)Help I am a hostage! Help they are Americans. Help the Americans!Von looks at Rex and Charlie.VONYou better surrender if you want to live.INT. -- GERMAN TENT (CAMP OUTSIDE GERMAN FRONT LINE) -- NIGHTRex an Charlie are chained to chairs in the center of a large tent. Two German men stand on either side of the tent front entrance and exit. The entrance opens and Von walks in with a German General. Von is now dry and dressed in a German military suit. Rex turns to look at Charlie.REXHe was a rat.As Von walks in to the tent he lights the General’s cigarette. Von is holding a bowl that is steaming.VONWell guys sorry it had to end like this. Now it can go either way from here.Von leans in to Charlie’s ear and blows smoke in his face. He then shows Rex and Charlie a bowl of Stew in his hand.VONYou can tell me were the gold is or I can make you eat this stew.Charlie looks at Rex confused. Von offers a German guard the bowl of stew. He avoids smelling it and looks away. Von then spits in the Stew.REXOh! You just wasted a good bowl of soup.VONDon’t worry it is still good and You will eat it. This is what we call German Stew. It does wonders for American stomachs.VONYou don’t want to push up daisies by sunrise you will be polite and eat the stew I brought you.Von smiles showing his brownish green teeth.VONThe Americans are not going to win. I have already told my general about The Americans plans. The only reason you are not dead now is because I told them you might be able to give us valuable information. So you make up your mind. Tell me were the gold is and live or...Von looks up at the General who is taking off his black gloves.CHARLIEHun worshiping trader.REXWe will never tell you anything Von.Von looks at Charlie.VONMaybe you don’t care about your life Charlie but, others may care about theirs.Von grabs Rex by the neck.REXDo your worst. Don’t tell him anything Charlie.As Von holds a spoon full of stew in Rex’s face the General whispers in Von’s ear. Von lets go of Rex and pulls out a handkerchief then throws it on Charlie.VONYou are going to need the for all the tears you will cry when I return. I’ll give you a bit to think about you imminent death.The General and Von walk out of the tent, but before walking out completely Von places the bowl of stew on a table then looks at Charlie and winks. The two guards follow leaving Rex and Charlie alone.EXT. -- GERMAN TENT -- NIGHTStubby peaks around a tree and catches a glimpse of the German camp. As the Two guards walk out of the tent Stubby piers in and notices Charlie and Rex chained to chairs. Wiggles the rat creeps up behind Stubby who quickly turns around with a fierce growl.WIGGLESRelax. You are going to give me a heart attack. Your friends are in that tent.STUBBYI know.WIGGLESThe keys you will need are on the big guy.One after another German jeeps are loaded on the back of military vehicles and away from the camp line. The big guy walks up to a large pot hanging over a open fire. The fat German soldier lifts the lid to the pot and begins scooping chunks of a sauerkraut and sausage into a bowl. The fire glows against the keys on the big guys hip. Stubby watches the keys as the Soldier stuffs his face.WIGGLESDinner time. You are in luck.Wiggles the rat walks up to Stubby’s side.WIGGLESHe always falls asleep after he eats. That’s your best chance at getting those keys off his belt.The german guard starts to sit beside the tent entrance as he continues to devour his meal. The skinny guard looks at his fellow soldier sitting down with a bowl of food propped on his stomach. The skinny guard looks down at his buddy.SKINNY GUARDHey, I’ll be back.The big guard mumbles with food in his mouth.BIG GUARD(mumbling)Ok.WIGGLESNow is the chance.The Guard leans his head back against the tent and starts to snore with the bowl still on his stomach. The guard loses the battle of trying to keep his eyes open and drops the spoon in his hand. Wiggles scurries over to the sleeping guard and leans over his bowl grabbing a large piece of sausage with his teeth. Wiggles tip toes over to the sleeping guard who snores so loud he wakes himself up briefly. Wiggles stands frozen trying to avoid being seen. Wiggles then swipes the keys from he guards hip and runs back to the woods were Stubby is standing. Wiggles munches on the guards left over and dangles the keys in front of Stubby’s face.WIGGLESThat was easy.Stubby snatches the keys with his mouth and runs past wiggles and the sleeping guard straight in the tent.INT. -- GERMAN TENT -- NIGHTCharlie lifts his head and laughs as Stubby runs up to him. Rex raises his head an looks up to see Stubby with keys in his mouth.REXStubby your alive.CHARLIEHey boy. Man am I glad to see you.Stubby places the keys in Charlie’s hand. Charlie quickly un cuffs his wrist then takes off the Chains around his ankles. Charlie stands up from his chair and starts to unlock Rex’s chains.REXNo how are we getting out of here.CHARLIELeave that to me.Charlie peaks his head out the tent and watches several jeeps in line to haul machine guns out of the camp and to the front lines. Charlie then looks down and to the right were the large guard sits napping.CHARLIEGuard we have an emergency get in here now!Charlie closes the tent entrance and whistles. The large guard opens his eyes and pulls back the tent entrance sticking his face inside.Both Rex and Charlie punch the guard at the same time and drag him in to the tent. Moments pass and Charlie steps out of the tent wear the large German guards clothes. Charlie walks up to an unattended jeep. Charlie slides in the front seat of the jeep and cranks the ignition.Stubby and rex run up to the jeep and jump in the back and under a camouflage tarp. Charlie drives the through the camp and up to the line of jeeps heading out a gate. There is a German guard at the front gate. He stands guard behind a machine gun watching the jeeps pass through the gates.REXOh no.Rex looks behind him and the large German guard hops out of the tent Shouting and wearing only his boxer shoots. Other soldiers run in the tent then out of it. The German troops surround the tent officers blow whistles as german troops hold on to leashed German shepherds growling and smelling the front of the tent. Red lights flash above the gates exit and Charlie slams his foot on the gas pedal.CHARLIEHold on guys.The back tires peel out and Charlie cuts through the line of jeeps and out the camp gates as it shuts. The jeep barrels out the German camp. Charlie Takes off the german hat and lets it go in the wind.EXT. -- A DIRT ROAD OUTSIDE THE GERMAN CAMP -- SUNRISEThe Germans stolen jeeps skids across a dirt road and down a hill. Stubby’s tongue hangs out and flaps in the wind.CHARLIEWe did! Home free!REXI can smell the treasure calling!The horizon gets it’s first burst of sunlight for the day. Chateau Lile is now visible from the hill Charlie Rex and Stubby head down.REXChateau Lile.CHARLIELooks just like the village on the map. Keep your eyes peeled for a wind mill.EXT. -- CHATEAU LILE -- MORNINGThe expressions of glee change to solemnness and fear as the three American troops, Charlie, Rex and Stubby head wide eyed down the road and past the hauntingly still houses.REXSomething tells me no one’s home.The doors to the cabins hang open revealing the inside of ransacked homes. The windows to the cabins were busted in and some home are chard black while others lay in ash.CHARLIEIt doesn't look like the Germans left much behind.REXI’m not seeing a wind mill.Charlie stops the jeeps and looks at a house to the right of him.CHARLIEI think this is the spot.REXThey didn't leave the key under mat.CHARLIEWho needs a key when there is no door.REXI thought you said the treasure was buried under a windmill.CHARLIELets go ahead and check the place out.Charlie pets Stubby on the head and points to the cabin they are parked in front of. Charlie looks at Stubby.CHARLIEGo check it out boy.Stubby hops out of the jeep and runs up to the cabin following his nose.REXI’m going to check out the back.CHARLIEHere!Charlie throws rex a shovel.CHARLIEIn case you see a windmill.Charlie follows Stubby up to the cabin. As Stubby enters the cabin he slows down. Stubby sniffs the living room floor and Charlie observes the turned over furniture and busted china.CHARLIEThe Germans really did a number on this one.Stubby follows his nose down a hallway and into another room. The room is in just as much of a disarray as the living room. Glass is busted and a desk sits in the room with its draws hanging open and papers falling out of it. Stubby’s attention seems to be focused on the rug under the vandalized table. Charlie watches Stubby paw at the rug as if he was digging through dirt. Rex walks in the room hold the Shovel over his right shoulder.REXIt looks pretty much like a plain back yard. A couple of trees but, nothing that looks like a windmill.Rex looks down at Stubby.REXHave you found something boy?Stubby barks and grabs the rug with his teeth pulls threads from it loose. Charlie stares at a painting hanging above the desk. Rex looks at him curiously.REXSnap out of it Charlie. We don’t have much time. If you like the painting take it with you but, we got find a windmill in this town before the Germans get here.CHARLIEThe windmill on the map had four blades and a brick well beside it. It looked sort of like this.Charlie points at the painting and in the painting sitting on a hill in the distance is a small windmill. Charlie looks down at Stubby who is now growling at the rug and yanking it with his teeth. Rex and Charlie look at each other as if the clue just came into both their heads at the same time.CHARLIEHelp me move this.Charlie grabs an end to the desk and Rex lifts up his side as the two soldiers move the large wooden desk stubby pulls on the rug moving it back to expose a wooden floor. Charlie presses his ear against the floor and knocks on it as he listens keenly. Charlie pulls out a German knife from a sheath on his hip. He then takes the knife and slides it into the a crack between two boards. As Charlie runs the blade down the crack in the floor it unexpectedly dips completely between the two boards. Rex and Charlie look at each other in excitement.REXI can see the treasure just waiting for us.Charlie uses the knife to pry up the board slightly up from the floor. Rex grabs the end of the board and heaves it up pulling out the board nails and all. He lets out a deep breathe as he throws the board aside. Charlie then grabs the shovel Rex left propped against the wall. He uses the shovel’s leverage to completely pop up two more boards at the same time. The boards crack and snap as Charlie pries them from the floor.REXSave some energy for lifting the gold Charlie.Rex grabs the shovel and with ease lifts several boards from the floor at once.REXCheck it out Charlie this must be the treasure chest.Charlie drops to his knees and examines the what was hidden under the floor.CHARLIEIt looks like a latch.REXWell what are you waiting for, lets get our gold.CHARLIEHelp me out here.The two men pull on the metal latch lifting it slowly up and creating a loud squeal as the metal turns. The Two look at each other then back down at the hole in the floor. Steps lead from the hole to a basement room that is dimly lit by the flame of a single candle. Stubby runs down the steps and disappears under Rex and Charlie.INT. -- HIDDEN BASEMENT ROOM -- MORNINGCharlie walks down the steps and Rex follows him. The room is small and appears cozy and claustrophobic at the same time. There is a small bed beside a crib and a small girl sits on the bed holding a candle in here hand.REXWhat is she doing here?Charlie and Rex look at the woman who has a fearful look on her face.REXI thought there was gold.A small cry comes from the girl. Stubby walks up to her. She cowers away in fear of Stubby.CHARLIEIt’s Ok. He is friendly. He’s not going to hurt you.Stubby licks her face and makes her smile as he curls up beside her.CHARLIEI think we found our treasure.The young girl places down the candle down.CHARLIEIt is ok we are here to help you. We are Americans.The young girl stands bravely looking at the two foreign soldiers in front of her. She has soft pale skin and beautiful long black hair.FRANCISYou are Americans?Rex steps closer to her.REXYes that’s right, we are Americans.A tear rolls down her cheek and she embraces rex with a hug. Rex looks surprised at her outward display of affection. He comforts her by placing his arm around her.CHARLIEIt’s going to ok. You are going to be just fine now.REXIt is just you down here. No one else.Francis is still weeping.FRANCISMy parents thought for sure the Germans would kill me. Before they came to our town my father hid me down here with food and lamp oil.REXYou mean to tell me that you have been hiding down here since the Germans invaded your town.Francis nods. Rex looks at Charlie.REXDid your parents mention anything to you about gold or treasure?Charlie looks discouringly at Rex and slaps his stomach.REXI mean don’t worry little girl we are going to get you out of here.Charlie looks at Rex quizzically.CHARLIEThe western Front should forge the north eastern front O twelve hundred hours. The road heads exactly were the British troops will be flanking.Stubby barks loudly.REXI’m sure we have plenty of time to maybe to take a tea break maybe eat a bit.Rex looks down a Francis.REXGot any food down here Francis.FRANCISI have some rice I could boil.Stubby barks down the basement steps from the house floor.REXThat sounds great I’ll fix some up for all us that sound. Maybe put some pepper in it and well lets just take a look.Rex walks over to a small stove in the room. Charlie looks up the steps at Stubby. Stubby looks down at Charlie and barks loudly this time howling. Charlie walks up the steps.REXDon’t worry Stubby you will get some rice.CHARLIESomething is up.Charlie runs up the steps and out of the basement. He approaches a broken window in the house and looks out. Charlie looks out a pair of binoculars at what is a cloud of dust in the distance.CHARLIE(yelling)We don’t have time to eat! You better get up here and check this out.The faint humming sound of German jeeps rolling across the dirt road leading up to the town. He pulls the binoculars down and walks over to the steps leading to the basement room then yells down at Rex.EXT. -- COTTAGE -- HIGH NOONRex and Charlie walk out of the cottage and stand on the front steps glaring into the distance. A western harmonica blows loudly as Charlie spits and grips his fist.CHARLIELooks like we got company. They don’t look like our friends either.Rex walks out of the cottage and approaches the jeep and turns the ignition on.REX(shouting)Grab Francis and lets get out of here.CHARLIEFollow me Francis, we got to get a move on.Charlie bolts to the jeep and Charlie grabs Francis by the hand and the two of them run to the jeep. Rex is already revving the engine and peels out as soon as Stubby jumps in after Francis and Charlie.INT. -- GERMAN JEEP -- HIGH NOONVon is looking through a spy glass as he drives the jeep like a maniac down a dirt road. He is headed to the small village Rex is speeding away from.INT. -- STOLEN GERMAN JEEP -- HIGH NOONJeep begins to sputter as it blazes down the road. The sputtering continues as the engine to the jeep completely stops running.REXWhat in the world is going on.CHARLIEI think we just ran out of gas. Unless there is a spare tank in the back.Charlie lifts open the trunk of the jeep. In the back of the jeep revealing a large machine gun and ammunition.CHARLIEI don’t see a gas can.Rex pulls himself out of the jeep.REXCharlie I want you get Francis out of here. I will hold them off as long as I can.Rex pulls the large gun out of the Jeep trunk and begins loading it.CHARLIEI’m not letting you do this alone.Charlie takes a knee beside Stubby and Francis.CHARLIEFrancis I want you to get on stubby’s back and hold on tight and don’t let go until you are safe.Charlie then speaks in Stubby’s ear.CHARLIEGo get help Stubby. Run get help.Stubby takes off with Francis gripping tightly to it’s back. Rex looks surprised at Charlie.REXMan that dog is smart. Alright. I’m going to post up at that tree.Rex point to a large tree on the side of the road in front of him.REXThe jeeps will be heading around hat hill. I am going to take out as many as I can and try to create a road block.Rex lets out a deep heave as he pulls up the machine gun and rests it on his shoulder.REXWhen they get past me it’s all on you.Rex nods at Charlie.REXWell sure was good knowing you Charlie.CHARLIEWe will talk after we take care of these Germans.Charlie grins at Rex and the two exchange a quick laugh as Rex makes the group of twelve gun barrels rotate rapidly clicking.REXI forgot how to load it.CHARLIEI only have a few shots left in this one.Charlie holds up the clip to Rex and snaps it in the hand gun. Charlie then looks at the top of the hill as the jeeps fly across the dirt in their direction. Rex slaps down the a latch above the heavy machine gun. Rex looks at Charlie.EXT. -- (WOODS) OUTSKIRTS OF CHATEAU THIERRY-- DAYREXI hope that dog can book.CHARLIEHe’ll lap you.REXYou ready for this?CHARLIE(intensely)Let it go!Rex pulls the trigger and the machine gun lights up and echoes as it shakes. Charlie looks at the jeeps in the distance through his binoculars.EXT. -- CHATEAU THIERRY -- DAYChateau Thierry is a small village about ten miles from Chateau Lile. Stubby walks into the village exhausted moving slowly and near out of breath. Stubby approaches a house and Francis slides of his back still hugging him around his neck. She walks up to a door as it opens Several large planes roar over head as they head in the direction Stubby ran from.EXT. -- CHATEAU LILE -- DAY (SAME TIME)Rex and Charlie stand on either side of the jeep behind the open doors using them as shield. Bullets hit the doors in front of the two brave Americans. One shot from the approaching Germans blows off the mirror on Rex’s doors.The machine gun Rex is shooting is creating a hail storm of gun fire at the oncoming fleet of German jeeps. Charlie hides behind the jeep door as shots pelt the door in front of him. He looks over at Rex who looks like Paul Banyan skillfully aiming the large machine gun.REX(screaming)Take this you German scum!The first German jeep leading the pack down the hill toward Rex and Charlie flips and flies in front of another causing a pile up. Von is toward the back of the German jeep fleet and is surprised as he narrowly dodges a collision of jeeps slamming into each other. Von’s jeep slides to a stop and behind the pile up hidden from Rex and Charlie’s view. Rex’s Machine gun begins to spin and click rapidly. Rex looks down at the big gun then up at Charlie.CHARLIE(relieved)You got em!REXJust in time. I am out of bullets.Charlie looks up to see Von in his jeep pointing a gun at Rex.CHARLIE(scared)No!Rex drops to the ground and Charlie crawls over to his limp body.CHARLIERex are you alright?REXGet him Charlie.Rex close his eyes and Charlie pulls out his stolen German Lugar and points it at Von’s jeep.INT. -- VON’S JEEP -- DAYVon shifts the gears to his jeep and slams his foot on the gas as he barrels out from behind a tree whipping up a dirt rooster tail in his wake.VONNot a chance Charlie.Charlie shoots at Von and hit the jeep front window were Von’s head was three times. The bullets blast through the jeep glass window. Von pulls his head up and looks through the holes left by the bullets he just dodged.VONHaha! Horrible shot.Von grins venomously with his rotted teeth.EXT. -- CHATEAU LILE -- DAY (SAME TIME)Charlie stands in the dirt road with the gun pointed at Von’s jeep as it speeds right in his direction. Charlie closes both his eyes and pulls the trigger sending a bullet right in to the front of the right tire.INT. -- VON’S JEEP -- DAY (SAME TIME)Von grips on the wheel tightly as the jeep skids out of control as it slides sideways down a dirt road. The jeep hits an embankment and rolls with Von inside getting tossed around like a rag doll.EXT. -- CHATEAU LILE -- DAY (SAME TIME)The jeep finally comes to a stop upside down and Von pulls himself out scratched up and shocked. Von reaches for a gun on the ground in front of him. Charlie steps on Von’s hand and twists his foot in to the dirt. Von screams.CHARLIELooks like you are going to be eating some American Stew.Charlie looks up and a new fleet of German jeeps roll up to the site at the top of the hill were jeeps sit stalled and wrecked. Charlie looks down at Von.VONReinforcements.Von laughs and coughs.VONI told you the Americans would never win.A Grenade blows up beside Charlie and the jeeps begin driving toward him shooting at both Von and Charlie as Charlie turns to run from the army of german jeeps he is surprised to see a tank right in front of him. Charlie drops to the ground and covers his head as the tank drives completely over him crushing Von and the jeep. Von lets out one final scream. Charlie lifts his head up amazed to still be alive.American bomber planes fly over head dropping bombs on the german forces obliterating the fleet of jeeps. Charlie looks over at the tank and the top opens slowly. Mable’s comes out of the tank and takes her helmet off then shakes loose her long hair. Mable walks up to Charlie and hands him her helmet. Charlie is speechless with surprise.MABLESorry I’m late I couldn't find a jeep.CHARLIEYour right on time.Bombs explode in the distance as Charlie kisses Mable. He looks at her and smiles.CHARLIESo you stole this.Charlie looks at the tank.MABLEMore like I borrowed it.EXT. -- CHATEAU THIERRY -- AFTERNOONThe large American tank rolls into Chateau Theirry leading the entire allied western front. Woman and Children run out of their homes and Cheer as the troops enter their village.Stubby and Francis run out of a house and in to the crow of locals cheering for Allied Army. Charlie and Mable are riding on the back of a tank as Charlie notices his dog running behind the tank. Charlie and Mable hop of the tank and Charlie rests on a knee then embraces his dog.INT. -- WHITE HOUSE -- DAYThe room everyone is in becomes hazy then slowly focuses through Stubby’s vision. Dozens of burst of light explode from the old cameras taking Stubby’s picture as the President pins a medal on a small jacket covering stubby’s chest. The medals hanging from Stubby’s jacket glisten with each flash of light.INT. -- SMITHSONIAN MUSEUM NEW YORK -- DAYJoe stands in front of Stubby looking up at him.JOE(amazed)Wow. An American legend.The old Janitor hands Joe his broken glasses.OLD JANITORNothing a little duck tape won’t fix.Joe slides his glasses on and the middle is bundled with silver duck tape.JOEThanks.OLD JANITORDon’t mention it kid don’t be afraid to be brave and if all else fail get a pit bull.Carter runs up from around a corner and points.CARTERHere I was right here and this old man smacks me in the face with a mop.The teacher walks up and places her hands on her hips.TEACHERWhat old man?Carter looks back and Joe is the only one there standing in font of Sergent Stubby’s Exhibit.TEACHERJoe what are you doing over here? Was there an old man here?Joe looks at Carter then his teacher. He pauses for a second and looks up at Stubby.JOEI don’t know what he is talking about but the reason I am over here is because Carter broke my glasses so I didn't see anything but, Sergent Stubby.CARTER(upset and argumentive)He’s lying!TEACHERSome one is lying but, it’s not Joe. You are in trouble Carter.CARTERMan that’s messed up. I’m going to kick your butt Joe.The teacher grabs Carter by the ear and pulls him away and back in line.TEACHERI am going to have to speak with you parents again.CARTERPlease don’t I’m sorry.TEACHERCome Joe get in line lets go guys.Joe looks up at Sergent Stubby and the Dog winks at Joe.
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HARDASS THE MOVIE
Sep 15, 2008
HARDASS is the story of two brothers, Ron and Don, who for lack of a better word are a couple of wimps! One day after getting in a fight that cost them almost everything (their house, car, health) they searched online for a new place to live as well as someone to train them to not be such losers. In their search they find a man by the name of Clay Jackson who just so happened to be able to provide both. Clay Jackson is an EX-UFC fighter that was kicked out of the league for finishing his opponents with round-house kicks to the jugular but now is nothing more than a tax evading alcoholic.EXT. --48 HOUR FITNESS-- DAYRon and Don, two guys in their twenties, are standing in front of a large mirror in the middle of 48 hours fitness. The Place is full of bodybuilders in the midst of intense workouts. Don takes a drink from his water bottle spilling some on his shirt.DONHell yeah. This place just gets me pumped.Ron is counting out reps for Don.RONWhen I take those shots at the bar my arms are going to look so fucking pumped!RONI know we are going to score tonight. Call it a gut intuition but, things are going to start happening for us man. I can feel it.Ron squirts Don in the mouth with the water as he does a dumbbell curl.RON(out of breath)Hydrate baby.DONWhat’s up Chaz!Don screams at someone across the gym in an attempt to say hello and nobody turns to acknowledge him.DONDude, it feels like its been for ever since I worked out. I’m going to have to really pace myself today. Don’t want to rip anything more than it already is.Ron looks at his biceps intensely then unzips his fanny pack and pulls out a nasal spray. He snorts it in real fast and leans down to pick up a bar with light weight on it.As Don leans over and struggles to pick up the weight he lets out a scream. A women walks by Ron as he snaps the weight over his head and drops it causing a loud awkward echo in the gym.RONYeah baby.The women in the gym glance at the two brothers and quickly look away as if they were appalled at what they had seen.RONWhat are doing?Don stretches with one leg up on a fitness machine beside an elderly woman walking with an oxygen tank.DONTrying to get us some ladies for tonight. Some fucking pussy.RONShe had to be at least eighty Don. What the fuck are you blind?There is a sixty year old lady licking her lips and staring at Don. Don winks.DONFirst off she is Asian and I fucking love Asians.Don pulls his eyes back.DONMe love you long time. Me so horny.I have what some would call an Asian fetish. They retain their beauty longer and have tiny feet..... or at least the beautiful ones do. Besides Ron, how are we going to get any attention from the ladies if we don’t give them any. She probably knows where we could find some hotties.RONJust focus your energy in the right direction.Ron begins to concentrate on his curl as he counts out his reps something catches his eye causing Don to turn around.DONThe most beautiful body in the gym,A spotlight is pointed at a beautiful lady who has wind blowing her hair back.DONIt is Beth Stables the best body in 48 Hour Fitness history. She only fucks bodybuilders or UFC fighters so don’t step up to that plate unless you are aced up and ready to dust it off.Don breathes out heavily as he makes eye contact with Beth steam streams out of his nose. She is taken back by his intense glare and begins to blush. A large bodybuilder steps in front of her blocking Don’s view.RONFirst step is getting in shape here take this.Ron hands a dumb bell to Don. Beside a mirror Don and Ron are doing curls with light weight. The two are working out in sky blue biker shorts and red tank tops. Don is spotting Ron on the Bench lifting the bar with equal tenacity.DONAre you ready?RONI got this shit! Give me the lift off so I can throw up this rock baby.Ron screams as he takes the bar down to his chest.DONThere you go push it up. You got it. Don’t stop you hard ass mother fucker you.Don looks up as he helps lift the weight off Ron’s chest. A woman walks by wearing tight workout pants and smiles at Don.RONSo I'm sitting right next to her.... and her dad in church thinking he doesn't know I slept with his daughter last night.DONYeah, if he did know, what the fuck would he do any way? The guy is like half your size.RONI know man but, he does have that old man strength. Either way when we start the protein shakes the honeys are going to be all on your nuts and that old man is going to be your bitch to the point he will ask the preacher to have the church pray that you have sex with his daughter.After barely a work out Ron and Don start walking into the gym rest room. Ron and Don stand beside each other and start urinating at the same time each are in separate stalls looking up at the ceiling.RONI was going to let you know at the bar but, I can’t hold it in any longer. The stock sold.DONHow much.RONBy one hundred and 10 percent.Don punches the rest room stall wall.DONWe are fucking richRONI wouldn't say that. The stock was only worth two cents.DONSo how much did you make.RONTen Grand!Don beats the wall and screams.DONWe are rich! Oh yeah, we are getting wasted tonight.DONI'm pretty pumped lets go to the bar bro. Maybe we can pick up some bush.Ron and Don leave the gym in their tricked out Kia. Don pulls out a cd and spits on it. He Then two put the cd in and Don peels out causing people exiting the gym to watch him peel out white smoking the tires.INT. -- CROW’S NEST BAR -- NIGHTRon and Don walk into the bar wearing similar clothes. They both immediately make eye contact with a group of ladies at the bar. Don gives them a head nod. Two women that look like absolute white trash whores are walking out of the bar flipping off two men who are still seated and appear to be paying no attention to the women. Ron and Don without speaking a word communicate that this is an opportunity and follow the angry women outside.RONAre you seeing what I am seeing.DONBeautiful buns.RONAnd they are super pissed off at whoever those guys were inside.DONSo you take whichever one you want and I’ll get the other one. I know you like blondes better and I just like anything I can get. Hehehehe.The two women are in the process of unlocking their car and getting inside. Right before the doors open they notice that Ron and Don followed them out and begin to converse.JULIECan I help you boys?The two stare but, are temporarily speechless.TINADo you have a starring problem?Since the two are in fact losers there is a bit of nervous silence between Tina’s question and a reply from Don. Don delivered the line in such a way that he shows he really believes it is a good line.DONWell my lady, I am glad that you asked. It is very rarely does something so majestic, so breathtaking catch my eye. I am afraid that I may have lost it for a second. Please forgive me for starring.TINAAre you talking to me or her?DONWhy you of course my lady.Don lets out an extended cough then winks his eye.TINALook, ain’t neither one of us named You. I am Tina here,Tina circles the top of her head with her pointer finger.TINAThe one with you blondish hair and big tits she is my G slash F slash BFF.She motions the slash with her hand.TINAJulie is the one with brown hair and big ass.Tina points to Julie’s ass.TINANow which one of us were you talking to?DONOh, there must be a little mix up. I am so sorry for not being clearer. a ha ha ha..........Don looks at Ron and indicates to him he should pick which one of the two he wants. Ron mouths the answer to Don with his head turned and says “Big butted blonde”.JULIEWhat are you two doing?DONOh, well uh, sorry to keep you waiting. Its kind of an inside joke we where talking about so.. You wouldn't think it was that funny but, any ways (very serious) the one of you I was talking to is Tina the big breasted brunette.Ron responds nervous and awkward.RONAnd my eye has caught you as well Julie and I was starring at you majestically also.TINAAre you boys drunk or stupid because I can’t handle another drunk?!DONI am not drunk or stupid. Brunette is another word for brown haired. Me lady. (cough accompanied with a wink)JULIEI know what a Brunette is you retard, I am one but, I don’t have big tits and I would really like it if you didn't rub it in.Don leans in closer to Julie.DONI will try not to rub it in. What I really want to do is rub one out.TINAYou have to be drunk, I don’t think anyone is that stupid.RONWe are not drunk. You just saw us walking into the bar. You wanna smell my breath?Don leans in to Tina.DONOr taste it?TINALook, I believe you. I don’t think you are drunk anymore just stupid and I can handle stupid. In fact, I just dumped a drunk at a bar so I sort of like stupid.RONYou do?Tina looks at Ron with a stare.TINAI am not talking to you. I am talking to your friend. What’s his name?RONDon. That’s his name and my name is Ron. We are not related if that is what you are thinking.Ron looks at Don with confidence.RONWe are both real nice guys if I don’t say so myself.The girls kind of laugh but also see something of interest in the two losers.DONNot only are we nice guys but we are also both lawyers.JULIENo, your not. You are just the same two losers that come here every week and try to get laid.TINAWe know all about you.RONOkay, so we are not lawyers but, we have pretty good jobs at this software firm called Globe-tech.DONYeah, we’ve been there for like 3 years now and we have already gotten a dollar raise and next October we will be eligible for health benefits.Ron slaps his forehead after hearing his ignorant friend.TINAWow, so you guys like make pretty good for yourself huh?A glimmer of hope once again enters his eyes.RONYou are damn right we do.DONYeah, we even got ourselves a house.There house in an absolute shit-hole and Ron would have rather taken them to a shady motel then the women see what they live in daily.TINA AND JULIEA house?DONOh yeah, we got a house. We are actually about to make our last payment on it this week. After that it belongs to us! You two are welcome to come over anytime you want...... just to hang out with us.The girls look at each other.DONWe got a Wii and an XBOX 360.RON(mutters) idiot.....TINAWell, Julsey what do you say? These guys really seem nice and together like. You Wanna give it a shot?JULIEOh why not? I just got my TB shot. This could be fun.TINAAll right then Sean and uh....RONThe name is Ron and he’s DON!TINARight, Ron and Don looks like you got yourselves a date!The two are extremely excited and it shows! Perhaps this does not happen to them often?RONWell, uh right this way. My Kia is just on the other side of the lot. Tell you what, you wait here and I’ll go and get it. Don you stay here with the ladies for me (under his breath) and make sure they don’t leave.Ron takes of running for the car at full speed.DONSo, do you ladies like Wii or XBOX?TINAHuh?DONOh, PICKY! A PS3 player I see. I am sorry that I won’t be able to accommodate you this evening my lady. I hope that one of my other two modern gaming devices will suite you temporarily.TINAWhat is he talking about?JULIEWho cares I just need a man.TINASo you are going with him? Good I at least wanted the smart one.JULIEWhich one is that smart one?At that time a car races up at full speed (about 45 mph) The door opens and Ron invites the ladies inside. As the door opens trash falls out and there is movement seen underneath another pile of trash still in the car.TINAWhy don’t we just take my car?RONOh come on, you don’t need to be driving. You have both been drinking.DONAnd drinking and driving don’t mix.JULIEYeah, come on Tina quit being so picky and lets go (hiccup). You don’t need another DWI and neither do I.TINAOh all right. Is this a damn Kia?The girls get in the car and prepare to leave.RONYou bet your ass it is. 100,000 mile warranty baby. Made to last. Did you know Kia is Japanese for cheap but reliable.The odometer on the car reads 99,976 miles on it. EVERYTHING inside is falling apart.DONWe split the payments cause we live and work together. Otherwise we couldn’t afford a car on our own. Cars are expensive you know?Ron once again has a look of disgust at his friend.JULIEI think that is very sweet that you two are you such close friends. Isn't that sweet Tina?TINAI guess, just as long as you two ain’t into none of that gay stuff. I can’t stand a man that goes both ways.JULIEOh me neither. I need a man who is ALL MAN! GrrrrrRONWell, it looks like you are in the right car ladies because we are two of the manliest men you will ever meet. We would not even THINK of trying anything with another man right Donnie?DONHELL NO! Not after last time man I don’t ever want to have to clean that kind of shit up again.You can tell that Don was not joking but, still Ron laughs and tries to cover up what his friend just said.RONA ha ha ha ha...... Now Don you keep kidding like that these ladies are libel to believe you.The ladies look at the two men not knowing what to think when suddenly the front window of the car is smashed out with a shovel. The man with the shovel then grabs Ron by his hair pulling him out of the car and on to the pavement.Don jumps out of the car to assist his friend when he is blind sided by another man’s blow. Ron is now being pulled by his leg into the street. Don is getting his face kicked in as his body lays unconscious.MAN WITH SHOVELTake this you pussy. Nobody takes our trim and gets away with it.A car’s headlights are headed straight for Ron.RONPlease, I’m sorry.MAN WITH SHOVELYou fucking stay in that road little bitch.RONI don’t want to die!!MAN WITH SHOVELStay or I’ll beat your ass with this shovel!The car swerves to miss Ron. The man with the shovel then walks up to Ron and begins to hit him in the legs with the shovel.INT. --HOSPITAL-- DAYRon and Don sit in their hospital beds. They are both beaten and bruised but have lifted spirits when the hospital volunteer walks in with some flowers and a card which she puts on the table. Don picks up the note and reads it aloud:DONSorry about last night. Those guys were jerks. We hope you both like the flowers. Sorry we only got one rose. We had to split the cost just to afford them. Flowers are expensive you know. Hope to see you soon. Julie and TinaRONDude, we got a second date!DONWe sure did! But wait a second there is still more.Don looks closer at the card. Ron grabs the cardRONP.S. Those jerks from the bar ransacked your car after you were unconsciousness. They apparently didn’t think kicking your ass was enough so they found out your home address by looking in your glove-box and then burned your place to the ground. Also, Tina wrecked your car when she was driving it back from the hospital. You really need to get your shit together.Ron Lays stretched out on the hospital bed over reacting to the pain.DONHow can they do that?RONGreat it’s not like we can rely on the police to find these guys. They are probably back at The Crow’s Nest getting drunk and laughing about how pathetic we are.He then reaches for the medication jar and takes another pill leans back and clicks the channel changer to the tv. Don gets out of bed slowly and sits in a wheelchair. Don begins wheeling himself around the hospital into a public wifi area. He rolls by a volunteer, young, cute type helping an old man check his e-mail. Don rolls in front of one of the public computers. A young volunteer puts her hand on Don's shoulderHOSPITAL VOLUNTEERCan I get you anything sir?Don cracks his busted lips and whispers in painDONApple juice please.The young lady looks at Don Pathetically.VOLUNTEERSure thing sweety.The volunteer walks away and an old man as well as Don stare at her ass as she walks away.OLD MANShit! If I were you I'd be all over that. My days past. All I can do is watch porn. You are still young enough to live it man.Don pretends to ignore the old man and leans in closer to his computer screen.OLD MANFine, don't speak. I was just trying to make a little conversation. So what happened to you. Car Wreck? Skiing accident??The old man then starts to chuckle.OLDMANDon’t tell me somebody whooped your ass.Don says nothing.OLD MANYou don’t have to lie to me boy I seen it in your eyes. Eh he he. You look like a little pussy bitch that got taught a lesson.DONI'm going to teach you a lesson you old fart!Don throws a cup at the old man and attempts to fight him. He then grabs his arm from the pain of trying to throw the cup.DONCome on you old fuck, I don’t play around!!!!The Volunteer runs back into the computer area separating Don's wheelchair from the old man'sVOLUNTEERWhat kind of ass-hole attacks elderly men.DONHe started it.OLD MANIt's ok. It's my fault I apologize.The volunteer starts to walk away and the Old Man looks at Don.OLDMANGod I wish my dick still got hard.OLDMANListen.. I understand. When I was around your age I got my ass handed to me pretty bad as well.DONI don't know what you are talking about.OLDMANIt' Ok man just let it out.Don begins to tear up and tries to fight the wave of emotion that just hit him.(Stuttering)They burnt down our fucking house man. Our fucking house.OLDMANIts ok man, its ok really.The old man leans over and hugs Don. Don slobbers on him.DONOur Fucking house! Man where we live!OLDMANYou know you could try looking for a place to live on Craig’s List.DONWhat?OLDMANIt is a internet site. I use it to get laid but, it has other functions as well.Don rolls his eyes at the old man and shrugs off his words as he continues to stare at the screen.OLDMANSeriously though, you can get a good deal. I lived with this guy for two months in Beverly Hills California. Alls I had to do was suck a little dick. Kinda like the dick that slapped up your mug.Don turns around face full of stitches and barely cracks a smile.OLDMANDojo for rent. Former world fighter champion. Forced to retire when kicked out of the UFC for finishing his opponents with round house kicks to the jugular. Seeks those who seek to destroy all (and pay my bills in the process).Don turns to look at the old man’s screen and starts reading the CL post.DONOhhh shit! What the hell?A naked hermaphrodite pops up on the screen.OLDMANGod damn pop ups. You accidently click one site.The screen blinks and says download complete. A couple begins to have sex on the old man’s screen. It is so loud the nurse walks back to the computer room as soon as the old man clicks off the media player. An old lady in the corner stares at the two men and appears very disturbed. The nurse pauses a second at the door.OLDMANI thought I clicked something wrong but it happened so fast.The nurse leans down in front of the old man giving him a comforted look.VOLUNTEERIt wasn't the first and I’m sure it won’t be the last.The old man whips the wheel chair around pulls open the buttoned front of his flannels and whips out his dick.OLDMANI’d do anything for you.Don looks at the CL post and begins to write down the phone number.DONClay “The Round-house” Jackson......EXT. --RON AND DON’S PARENTS HOUSE-- NIGHTOne night shortly after the horrific ass beating Don sits beside the window ledge. "I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend" plays over the jukebox as Ron opens the door to find he brother in a desperate position holding a gun to his head and crying.DONWhat the hell man? Don’t you know how to knock?RONOh! Don what the fuck are you doing back here?DONWhat the fuck does it look I am I doing? I'm sick of life and I'm going to kill myself. I can’t live like this any longer, I keep switching my reps up then my sets up and nothing has changed. Nothing at all man!Don is starting to drool and cry all over himself.DONI don’t know maybe if I start juicing I’ll get the women I’ve always wanted. Maybe then I can be someone besides a complete loser who gets his ass beat on the regular.RONNo! Shut your mouth right there mister. Those guys have tiny balls and you know it!DONTiny Balls?RONYeah man, real tiny balls.DONWell it looks like its a lose, lose situation.Don cocks the gun and points it at his face. His brother knocks the gun down and interjects.RONLook man I think I might be able to help. While we were in the hospital I found a post on Craig’s List. There is a guy named Clay Jackson renting out his Dojo to those who quote “seek to destroy all” end quote. See for yourself.He shows his brother a print out of the ad at which he is very impressed.RONThis guy is the hard ass of all hard asses dude. I am serious man, as hard as it gets.... I sent him an e-mail. He said he would train us.After seeing Clay’s ad all of the despair in Don’s heart turns into hope.DONWhen can we start?RONJust as soon as mom and dad get back we can borrow the car and go over there to check it out.DONDude, you know thats not gonna be any time soon right?RONWhat makes you say that?DONBecause dude. They said they were going over Aunt Pauline’s house. You know her and mom never shut up once they start talking to one another. We might as well start walking. We’ll probably get there at the same time as if we waited.Feeling defeated the two try and think of an alternate way of getting over to Clay Jackson’s.DONDude, I’ve got it? Remember Grandma’s Hover Round?RONYeah.DONWell, its in the garage. All we need to do is find the keys and then we can use that to drive over to Clay Jackson’s.The two imagine themselves driving down the freeway in a Hover Round victoriously to Clay Jackson’s.RONThere is really only one place that the keys could be.DONYeah, dad really only has one hiding spot.RONWhat are we waiting for, lets check it out.INT. --RON AND DON’S PARENTS ROOM-- NIGHTRon flicks on the light as Don screams.DONOh shit dude! I always hated this room as a kid and even now it still gives me the creeps.The rooms walls are painted black and lined with stuffed domesticated animals heads. Each plaque has the name, date of birth, date of death and a quote about the animal. All the animals are previous pets of the parents. It becomes very obvious at this point that over the years the parents loved their animals more than their children. There is a long double barrel shotgun above the bed that the father used to put each and every one of the animals to sleep once their time had come.RONWhat are you scared of? It’s not alive.Don stares at a stuffed dog with it’s fangs showing.DONThen why is it growling at me?RONThey installed an automatic sensor that growls when some you pass by. It was just to keep us out of here as kids. Some times the speaker just tweaks a bit. I think it’s just cause it’s an old piece of shit.There is a barking that sounds like a real dog that causes Don to jump in fear.RONDon, that’s just Lance man. He is under the bed. Jesus. Stop being such a wimp. You act like we have never snuck around in here before.DONI know man. Its just that it makes me nervous you know, I don’t wanna get caught.A dog exactly like the stuffed one walks out from under the bed, shows it’s fangs then runs out of the room. Ron walks over to a large cedar dresser and opens the top drawer. Don looks over his shoulder then reaches into the drawer to grab something. He comes up with an old, unmarked VHS tape.DONHey dude, I bet this is a tape of our parents having sex. Ha ha..Ron looks at his brother and the at the tape with a look of horror in his eyes.RONThat is just awful man. Now put that back and keep digging for the keys. Be careful not to move stuff around too much, you know dad can tell when people have messed with his stuff.Don keeps the tape in hand an continues to dig. After a few more seconds Don pulls his hand up holding a set of keys.DONI think this is them man, I found em. Now lets get out of here.RONHell yeah man, lets go.Before they can truly celebrate a voice coming from behind them says “What is going on here!”. Ron and Don turn around to see their parents standing in the doorway with an angry look on their faces. Ron has a video tape in one hand and the keys in the other. He quickly pulls his hands behind his back.RONYou guys are supposed to be at Aunt Pauline’s.RON AND DON’S DADWe had to come back because your mother had the shits.RON AND DON’S MOTHERI had food poisoning. That not the same thing.RON AND DON’S DADSame thing dear, you were shitting water either way.RON AND DON’S MOMNow you boys know that isn’t true. Now if you if you will please excuse me for a moment.The boys mother exits to a bathroom located in the hallway. Once the door closes a loud fart/shit noise starts that is clearly audible to everyone in the house.RON AND DON’S DADI don’t know what smelt worse the shit or the steady stream of gas. Eh heh heh *sigh* I’m going to make a drink. You boys want anything?DONSure I’ll take a beer.RONYeah, me too pops.Their dad opens three beers and turns around handing one to Don and as he hands off the other to Ron.RON AND DON’S DADLook, I saw what you had in your hand boys. I guess It’s all out in the open now....The two look at each other then back at Ron’s father as he hangs his head in shame.DONOh Dad, its not what you think really.RONYeah dad. Not at all what you think.RON AND DON’S MOTHERWill somebody bring me some toilet paper!RON AND DON’S DADOh crap, dear I am afraid that we are out! I finished the last bit this afternoon after lunch! Why don’t you just hop in the shower and rinse off like a normal person!The mother is too embarrassed to respond but within a few seconds you hear the shower turn on followed by more fart/shitting sounds as the water runs.RON AND DON’S DADWow, its a good thing I wasn’t in there with here haha.Ron and Don are mortified and don’t know what to say. During the awkward silence waiting for the responds the family dog, Lance, jumps up on their fathers laugh. There dad pets the dog and treats it with much more affection than he does his sons.RON AND DON’S DADNow where were we?RONYou were just about to give us the car keys so that we can go meet our new roomate.RON AND DON’S DADOh no, your not getting off that easy slugger.Ron and Don grit their teeth hoping there dad will still let them use the car after finding them snooping in his room.RONLook dad, we are really sorry about looking in your room.RON AND DON’S DADNow God damn it Ron just shut up for a second and let me talk!The dog yelps a little due to the loudness of their fathers voice.RON AND DON’S DADCalm down Lancey Pants, daddy isn’t yelling at you. Oh, no he isn’t boo boo boy! Daddy loves his little boy now doesn’t he? Doesn’t he?Their father loses himself in the dog for a brief moment.DONUm, dad. Could you please get on with the lecture so we can get going?RON AND DON’S DADRight. Okay, well when I came in here I saw that you were putting back a certain VHS tape of mine.DONOh dad, no, we were looking for the..Their fathers slams his fist down on the table.RON AND DON’S DADNow don’t interrupt. Its okay Lancey. Daddy isn’t mad. He just needs to be heard.He spends yet another minute calming down the dog as Ron and Don grow impatient.RON AND DON’S DADSo any ways, I saw you with the tape and I know you are probably a little confused by what you saw on it.Ron and Don exchange confused stares but neither interrupt to that there father will finish and they can leave.RON AND DON’S DADYou see boys, when a man gets older his manhood doesn’t exactly work as good as it did when he was a boy.Ron and Don go from confused to speechless and horrified as to where this might be going.RON AND DON’S DADAnd well, in your in my mom’s search for ways to make thinks work a little better “down there” we discovered the wonders of the male prostate and basically, to tell a long story short, that is why your mom was shoving that cucumber in my ass before we made love.RONAwwww sick! What the hell Dad?DONDad, we never watched the video. We were looking for the keys to Grandma’s old Hover Round and we had just found them when you walked in!RON AND DON’S DADI see......... So you never watched the video?RON AND DONNO!RON AND DON’S DADHmmmmm.......The three sit in silence and all you can hear is the shower shutting off in the background followed by another loud fart and mom saying “oopsy”. A few more moments of silence and the shower turns back on.RON AND DON’S DADWell, what do you say I give you boys 20 bucks each and the keys to the car and we never speak of this again?RON AND DONDEAL!They swipe the cash and the keys and take off out the door.INT. --CLAY’S APARTMENT/DOJO-- NIGHTThe phone rings as Clay is popping open a beer. The screen is split. On the right Ron and Don lean into the phone with it on speaker. Clay picks up the phone with a temperament.CLAYRound House, sup.DONYes, can I please speak with Clay Jackson?CLAYListen I told you IRS mother Fuckers you will get the money when I get it.DONI’m sorry sir, this is not the IRS.(nervous) I was just calling to see if the Dojo is still available for rent.Clay chugs the beer with a perplexed look then comes to quick realization.CLAYOh yes, the Dojo is still available. When are you wanting to begin you lessons. BURPDONASAP.CLAYSo you can pay rent tonight?Don looks at Ron with sheer excitement in his eyes.DONYes Sir, absolutely.CLAYAwesome. When you come over pick up some beer too!Don looks at Ron and then proceeds to kiss Clay’s ass.DONYeah sure thing man. No problem at all.Clay takes another chug finishing off the beer then throws it in the air karate chopping it in air.CLAYAYYaaaiiaa! Also get some toaster Crambles. None of that Pilsbury shit either, I like the off-brand and I can’t stand that fucking Dough-Boy.DONYes Sir, got it Sir. Crambles and beer. See you within the hour.CLAYMake it 30 if you are serious.He then hangs up the phone before there is a response.RONWow, what a hardass.DONAbsolutely.Don hangs up the phone then looks at Ron.DONI bet if we hurry we can make it there in 20!The two run out of the door to the car as fast as possible.EXT. --CLAY’S APARTMENT/DOJO-- NIGHTRon and Don stand outside Clay’s apartment with a grocery bag. Don pushes the door bell. From inside the apartment Clay’s voice Clay’s voice can be heard.DONHe is probably training.The door swings open and Clay is standing in his karate G with a black belt with 8 red stripes and two cobra heads. The belt is tied tight around a beer belly. Clay takes a drink of his beer then bows. Don and Ron bow in return. He looks at Ron and Don and kinda scoffs at their patheticness. He then looks at the grocery bag and his watch.CLAYWhile you both look pathetic as shit I am impressed by the groceries and the timing.RON AND DONThanks.CLAYDO NOT SPEAK UNLESS SPOKEN TO IN MY DOJO!RONBut you did speak to us Clay?Clay glares at Ron and without hesitation performs one of his signature round-house kicks on him and his brother. He knocks them both on their ass and catches the groceries before they hit the ground.CLAYThe only buts in this Dojo are when I knock you on yours!Clay forces out a laugh similar to that of a generic super villain.RON AND DONYes Sir, Clay Jackson, Sir.CLAYVery good punks. Quick learners, I like that. Now before you enter take off your shoes and socks.Clay turns around as he leads the two into the one bedroom apartment/Dojo.CLAYIf you two worthless sacks of dog feces are to be my training subject there are some ground rules that must be laid down.RON AND DONYes Sir, Clay Jackson, Sir.CLAYOkay, okay. Rule number 1 is enough with the bullshit ass kissing. No need to scream every time I bark an order. From this moment on a simple nod will suffice. Besides, I have neighbors and I better not get evicted because of you two puny little assholes barking my praise.Ron and Don nod with looks of absolute respect on their face.CLAYGood. Now on to rule number 2.Ron and Don nod yet again.CLAYFrom now on you will know me as your Sensai. I will be your physical, mental and spiritual mentor. I have been in more fights than a God damn Roman soldier boys and that kind of experience makes your balls bigger than most men. Yeah, so this is the kitchen.Clay grabs a beer out of the bag and walks towards the kitchen to put the rest in the fridge. There is a potted plant that is knocked over by Clay as he walks out of the kitchen. He does not seem to notice and proceeds putting the beer and crambles in the fridge. He takes his time as if he is pondering the next rule. Ron and Don sit patiently. Once all the beer and crambles are put away Clay grabs yet another beer and starts to drink it. Mid-drink he notices the potted plant on the ground and suddenly thinks of rule number three.CLAYRule number three is probably the most important rule of all so listen up.Ron and Don nod. Clay has a look on his face as if he is super impressed with what he is about to say.CLAYFrom this moment on I will not in any way form or fashion pick up after myself at all. Any mistakes, spills, or mishaps that are caused by me are now your problem. If I get drunk and piss myself I wanna wake up in a new pair of pants and NEVER know that it even happened!Don and Ron both nod and Ron raises his hand to talk.CLAYSpeak.RONAre you really what you say you are? I would hate to find out you are full of shit because.....Mid sentence Clay walks up to Ron and pinches him on the shoulder and immediately his body falls limp to the ground.DONI never doubted you Sir. I knew...Clay pinches Don in the same manner and he falls limp as well.CLAYSleep my children, for tomorrow your training starts.Clay throws Don over one shoulder and Ron over the other and places one on the sofa and the other on the love seat. He looks at them both and lets out a sigh of relief. This is the first time in a long while Clay has been at piece. He looks up at the ceiling as to thank God and then goes to bed himself.INT. -- CLAY’S APARTMENT/DOJO -- MORNINGClay grabs the beer out of the grocery sack then opens it in front of Don. There is a potted plant that is knocked over by Clay as he walks out of the kitchen. The living room is the only part of the apartment that resembles a dojo. There is a blue mat on the floor and the living room walls are covered by mirrors.CLAYSo you guys want to go to a bar. There is a place down the road called the Crow’s Nest. I think that would be a good place to get fucked up before the day begins.Ron grabs his leg in pain.CLAYWhat’s up buddy?RONI’m sorry it’s just that when I heard that word a pain shot through my leg. What’s wrong with you boy are you scared to go out to the bar.DONSir please don’t make us go to the Crow’s nest that’s were we got our asses kicked last week.RONShut up! Don!DONHe needs to know Ron. Tell him!CLAYYou mean to tell me you boys are scared to go to the bar. Cuz you might get beat up.Clay twisted his head side to side swinging the rat tail extension of his mullet hair cut.ClAYDon’t worry when I’m done with training you. You boys will be unstoppable. The women will flock to your knees and you will see your enemies crumble before you. I’ll turn your bodies into lethal killing machines but, first thing is first Don come here.Clay walks into the living room and stands on a blue mat. He looks the lazy boy chair perfectly positioned beside a small stand. Clay stretches back his arm and repetitively punches the lazy boy. Clay whirls around with rapid speed and kicks the middle of the chair with his signature kick. Clay kicks the lazy boy so hard it sends it into the relaxed position. He then jumps into the chair. Clay holds up his hand to Ron and Don and points out the blood on his knuckles.CLAYYou must learn how to push on when you feel extreme pain. That is the first lesson now it is time for the next. Bring me that plate.Clay points to the kitchen. Ron brings Clay a toaster cramble on a plate. Clay takes a bite and spits it back in Ron’s face. Clay then spits three more times in Ron’s face.CLAYDo you know what it feels like to bite into a cramble that is fozen in the center. The first lesson to being a hard ass is knowing how to prepare my cramble. Microwave it for three and a half minutes. Not one or two and a half two and a half. Now I know you boys are pussies but, I don’t think you are retarded. I am going to expect you to do wall squats while reading the UFC take down manual.Don stares at the cobra tatoo on Clay’s arm. Clay flexes his arm causing Don to jump back.CLAYYeah it’ll bite.Clay walks into his room and powers on the ps3. He grabs the controller and puts on an online headset with microphone.CLAYRon! Prepare me a cramble. Make it right the first time.Ron walks into Clays room with a tray carrying a plate with crambles on it and a beer. Ron sits the tray down beside Clay who is sitting on a big green bean bag in front of a small flat screen tv.CLAYYou know I got hope for the two of you. If you boys have the will you just have to focus. It took me several years to get so hard. Don’t expect it to happen for you over night. I think you got just as good of shot as anybody.RONWow, thanks Clay. So what are you playing.Clay rolls his shoulders then turns his neck popping it on both sides.CLAYIt’s called Call of Duty and it is the biggest hard ass game on the market.RONThe graphics are badass and the game play looks pretty intense.CLAYDamn straight. Since getting kicked out of every man battle tournament. I had to find a way to keep killing people. I guess me and this game sort of found each other.RonDo you think I could play a round on it.CLAYAre you fucking joking? Play around. No! I have an online ranking plus this game is the most important thing in my life. I don’t want you touching it period.RONI think you are a very isolated person Clay.CLAYFirst thing in rendering your opponent useless is knowing exactly were to strike and how. Yah!Clay hits the side of the big green bean bag and sinks deeper in it get comfortable.CLAYDon get down and give me 25 no 35 GOOD pushups. Now!Clay looks at Ron.CLAYRon do you remember those Crambles. I want you to heat up two of them for one minute and forty five seconds, make two of them and bring me another beer.Ron knocks on the Tap Out sign attached to Clay’s bedroom door. A UFC fight is playing on a small television in the corner of the room. Clay takes the head phones off and begins to put in a game on the PS3. He turns around with the headphones still on his head.DONHey I was wondering if, if I could play on the PS3.CLAYNo you can not and a matter of fact don’t even touch my PS3. To be hard asses you boys are going to have to complete some tests. Hard ass tests. Think your up for itRon enters with a hardass look and wearing no shirt with cut off jean short.RONYour damn right we are ready.CLAYFirst you have to complete a mission that will prove your worthiness.EXT. -- LOCAL MARKET PARKING LOT -- NIGHTClay stands in front of his two pupils with the local grocery store behind him.CLAYYour first challenge is a test of your ability to remain unseen. Every hardass knows there is a time to be noticed and a time to go unnoticed. I want you to grab two twelve packs a peice. That’s of some good shit, none of that American beer. I want imported no American beer except for shiner. I don’t want any of that pussy light shit. Most importantly I don’t want you paying for it. You are going to walk right out of those doors a twelve pack in each hand undetected.DONWhat if someone see’s us.CLAYThen you are not a hardass are you? I’m going to be parked a block away over there. Once you have the beer just start walking that way but, make sure no one is tailing you. Now go as if you were rogue stallions on an escort of pain.Clay jumps back into his car and heads out of the parking lot. Ron turns to look at don and then puts on an expression of uncertainty.RONI don’t know about this man.DONLook you just watch my back and I’ll watch yours. Don’t look suspicious.The two walk into the grocery store with wide eyes and a purpose. They head straight to the beer section with a fast pace walk. The lights from different beer signs light up the varieties in the refrigerated wall of alcoholic refreshments. The two wanna be hardasses stand looking over the multiple selections of beer. A store clerk comes up behind them.STORE CLERKCan I help you guys find something.Don jerks his head around slightly startled to look at the tall athletic store clerk.DONNope. Just looking trying to see something worth spending my hard earned money on.There is an awkward laugh between Ron, Don, and the clerk. The clerk suddenly stops laughing causing an awkward silence. Don reaches for a twelve pack of beer then grabs two. Handing them to Ron and grabbing two more for him. As Ron walks out of the store he moves slowly and catches the eyes of a stocker. The stocker walks in front Ron who immediately knows he had been caught.STOCKERHey man, do you have the receipt for that beer.Don watches Ron get stopped by the stocker and sets the beer down. Don turns back around and Ron is running full speed with a stalker chasing him. The stalker stops after about ten yards after chasing Ron who has darted around a corner and into apartment complex. The stocker is leaned over catching his breathe. He notices Don leaving and points at him screaming.STOCKERSecurity! Shop lifter!DONI didn't take anything!A large black man hops on a mountain bike and pedals his ass off to get to Don who is darting across the street. The security guard gains on Don when crosses the street a car smacks into him sending him over the hood and flipping through the air. The car the stops and Clay opens the door.CLAYGet in.Don jumps in the car and clay peels out.CLAYWhere the hell is your brother the other dumbass?DONTake a left up here. There look by the light.Ron peeks out from a bush and runs up to Clay’s car and is almost hit by clay.CLAYThere maybe some blood on the hood so lets just go through the car wash. God I wish I had a beer right now. If you want to be Hard asses you boys are going to have to start trying a little harder.INT. -- CLAY’S APARTMENT -- NIGHTRon and Don race to complete the wall squats and push ups.CLAYI think you boys are ready for your second hard ass test.Clay holds out his hands. Each palm is clinched shut.CLAYThis is to test your threshold for pain.Clay opens his hands and a whole jalapeno is in each palm.CLAYThe first one to spit it out loses. Oh yeah, one other thing, you can’t swallow it.Ron watches Don grab the jalapeno and put it in his mouth. Ron hesitantly grabs the other jalapeno and puts reluctantly in his mouth.CLAYNow chew.The two begin to chew then start to squirm in agony.CLAYRemember a hard ass feels no pain. Learn to control your emotions. Channel that inner strength.Don Screams opening his mouth and fanning in air.DONI have to take it out.CLAYConcentrate and focus your thoughts.Ron begins to vomit and Don follows in the act. The two roll in pain as clay kneels beside them.CLAYOnly when the jalapeno was there all along will you know what it means to truly be a hard ass. Get up you are making me sick. Right now while the pain is fresh on your mind I want you to go into deep meditation. I will be back when you forget about the pain.Clay walks into his room and turns on Call of Duty. Ron squeezes his eyes together and squints his face. Don is shaking and sweating terribly.INT. -- DON’S MIND -- DAYA spiral of lights and jalapenos swirl towards a center which is Clay’s face.CLAYFocus your strength to become numb. Focus.Snow flakes begin to fall as Don envisions a blizzard take over his mind. Ron walks by with a coat.RONWow it’s chilly in here.DON (V.O.)Dude this is my mind what are you doing here.Clay back flips into Don’s mind wearing his Call of Duty microphone headset.CLAYDon you are ready now to learn the secret of being a hard ass.DON (V.O.)What is it sensei.Ron is building a snowman.RONHey guys check this out.CLAYRon pay attention.CLAYThe secret is knowing you were always hard asses.Ron walks over beside Don and does a back flip with knives in his hands.RONI know what you are talking about.INT. -- CLAY’S APARTMENT -- NIGHTClay stands in front of Ron and Don who are meditating with their backs against the wall. Clay walks in front of them with a super soaker water gun in one hand and a UFC martial arts manual in the other.CLAYHeres how it will go. In this water gun.Clay holds up the gun.CLAYIs a form of concentrated pepper juice the police use to make mace.Clay hands the gun to Don.CLAYShoot me in the eye.DONBut sensiaClay slaps Don across the face.CLAYShoot me you little bitch.Don shoots Clay in the Face. Clay licks his lips and takes the shot straight to the eyeball without blinking. Ron and Don look at each other amazed.CLAYIt is simple. Pain Don’t hurt. Trick your mind into believing that what feels bad is actually normal. Then nothing will hurt you.Clay points the gun at Ron.CLAYOk Ron now you try.Ron doesn't move for a moment then runs straight for the kitchen sink.CLAYFocus Ron find your center and elevate your mind.Ron’s on the floor squirming in pain.CLAYIs this what it felt like at the Bar when you got your ass whooped.Ron snarls his lips and stand to look clay in the face still squinting the eye that was shot.DONShoot me.Clay shoots Don in the eye causing an immediate reaction. Don begins to scream in pain.CLAYJust pretend the pepper juice is the enemy. It’s the guy at the bar taking your bitch.DONForget that shit!Don slaps himself in the face. Clay continues to squirt both his students in the eyes but they stand tall to his efforts. Clay takes a bite of a jalepano and hands the rest to Ron who devours it.CLAYNow you are starting to get it.Clay looks at his watch then in his room.CLAYWell it is Call of Duty time. You boys meditate for for three hours. If I have to tell you one more timeClay leans into RonCLAYOne more time to practice the breathing techniques I showed you. I will personally kick your jugular right off your neck.Clay knocks over a potted plant with a karate chop.CLAYDon.DONYes sensia!CLAYClean that up.Don begins to clean up the broken pot and soil as Clay walks into his room and slams the door. The sound of war comes from Clay’s room as Ron and Don prepare to meditate. Clay cracks his door and watches his students morph from pussies to true hard asses.CLAYI hate to say it but, I am impressed. I did’nt think I could you two losers into people worth knowing. Today you will learn the most important lesson of your life. Don let me see your hand.Don stretches out his open palm for Clay.CLAYWhat is in your hand Don?DONNothing.CLAYWrong. Look closer. Ron what is in Don’s hand?RONBacteria from not washing his hands.CLAYCloser but still wrong. Within every true hardass is the potential to be anything. So the anwer to the question is whatever Don wants it to be.DONI want it to be a piece of ass. I haven't gotten laid in four years.Clay looks at Don with disgust.CLAYLet’s just pretend you are not a pathetic loser for a minute. Okay how about this. Remember this place in your mind were anything is possible. Go there and I will meet you on the other side. Ron I want you to do the same thing go to that sacred place in your mind. A place were pain is merely an illusion.Clay pauses to think.INT. -- DON’S MIND -- NIGHTA mirage of images flood Don’s mind Clay’s head floats in along with Ron’s.RONWow it smells like a fart in here. Hey Don since we are here you think you can change the smell.Ron breathes in through his nose.RONAAHH! New car smell I like that.CLAYWe are now communicating on an unconscious plane. The world you see in your mind is no different than the one you see when you open your eyes.Ron is humping Julie and tinaDONHey one of them is my girl. How does he get to do that.Clay slaps don in the face.CLAYRon’s not focusing his mind properly.RONI don’t give a fuck this is great.CLAYOh yeah look again.Ron is suddenly on top of two old fat ladies. Clay luaghs as they disappear from under him.CLAYAlright Don I want you to imagine your hand is a lethal weapon.Don looks at his hand and begins firing shots as if it was a machine gun.RONHey check this out.Ron uses both his hands as automatic weapons.CLAYGood now enter your conscious mind and become one with your body.The three return to the apartment stunned.RONBack to the real world. I think I would rather live in my mind. I get more ass there.Don looks at his hand then points it at his reflection on the dojo mirror and shoots a bullet hole straight through his reflection.RONWait a second. How the hell did you.Clay grabs Ron’s hand and points it in his reflection and another gun shot goes off shattering more glass. Ron looks at Clay and smiles.RONIt’s times like these I am damn proud to call you my sensia.CLAYNow you are getting it. Now you are hard asses.CLAYYou are leaving the bar with a hot young skank when all of a sudden you get mugged a man is pointing a gun at you. Now what is in your hand.Don forms his hand in the shape of a gun.DONTake this you mother fucker.Don lets out a shot shattering the mirror in Clay’s dojo/ apartment. Don opens his eyes to see his finger smoking like the barrel of a gun. Ron and Don look at each other.CLAYThe secret is knowing you were a hard ass all along just like you have had that weapon in your hand all along. You don’t need me to tell you guys that yall are hard asses when you already are one. You don’t need a gun when you have had one this whole time. Now I think it is time you boys faced your fears lets go grab a beer at the Crow’s Nest.Clay walks in to the kitchen and pops open a beer.CLAYHell all this training has gotten me ready to pick up a dime piece at the bar.Clay looks at Ron and Don who are practicing their meditation.CLAYHey boys!Clay lets out a fart in front of Ron and Don who are in mid meditation. Don cracks and eye and Ron curls his lips.DONThat shit stinks.RONYeah it smells like you are smuggling a dead animal up your ass.Clay jerks around and gets in Ron’s face.CLAYWhat did you say.Ron swallows his words.CLAYI may have killed several men in my life but, I have never hurt a defenseless animal. Get that straight right now.Don swoops in beside Clay.DONHey we got it. Clay Jackson is an animal lover. So what about getting ass tonight?CLAYI think you boys are ready to make a grand appearance at the Crow’s nest tonight. You boys are ready. Tonight we walk in that bar like we own it afraid of nothing. Then we drink like hard asses.Clay walks over to his closet by the front door.CLAYI’ve been waiting too long for a beer.Clay grabs a jacket that say’s number one Hard ass on the back of it. It has pleather frills on the sleeves and looks like something a member of a biker club would wear.CLAYThey gave it to me when I was fighting in the UFC. Before I got kicked out.DONIs that made out of real leather?CLAYHell no! I told you fool I don’t have anything to do with the harming of animals.RONYou eat steak.CLAYThat’s different. I’m at the top of the food chain. For real. Now get ready I’m about to show you boys how to have a good time.Clay comes out of his room. Ron and Don are doing there training exercises. They stop and look at Clay.CLAYGuys keep training. Just because I am talking does not mean you get to. Tonight will be the ultimate hard ass test. You are going to face your fears. You guys are going to the bar. Not just any bar but, the one you boys got your asses kicked at.RONNo!Ron runs out the apartment/dojo.DONHis wounds maybe healed but, his ego is still bruised.CLAYI’m going to down a beer and get another round of call of duty in before we go. Go talk to your fruit loop friend.Don walks out of the apartment and notices Ron in the shadows with his head in his hands. He aproaches him slowly.DONYou ok man?Ron tries to wipe his eyes.RONI just don’t know if I’m ready for this man. What if those guys are there man?DONWhat if they are what are you going to do hide in the apartment all day like a loser or are you going to live you life.RONEveryone at that bar witnessed the ass beating. They just laughed I thought I was going to die.Don Puts his hand on Rons shoulder trying to comfort him.DONIt will be different this time. Clay will be there. He’s virtually unbeatable. You know I kind of hope those bastards are there so maybe this time we can give them a taste of there own medicine.Don offers his hand to help Ron up.RONYou are right. It is stupid to sit here afraid I might get my ass kicked again.Ron get up with a new vote of confidence. Clay walks out of the apartment with his UFC fight jacket on.CLAYAlright one of you are driving. I’m ready to get wasted.INT. --POLICE STATION-- DAYDetectives Chance and Swallows Sit looking over crime scene photographs.SWALLOWSI am beginning to think there is some kind of connection with these recent Dock murders and the drugs shipment.CHANCEThere is a definite connection.SWALLOWSYou know I wouldn't be surprised to know that these shipments were coming from somewhere on the eastern front.Chance points to a picture on his desk.CHANCEKhan Nakasanana. He was a former UFC fighter banned for kicking in the nuts.Detective Swallows takes a deep gulp of air.CHANCEAfter he was kicked out of every man battle tournament around the world for cheap nut shots he started a life of crime. Here is his record I sent a request in from his home town of Tokyo Japan and it seems that this Khan guy was arrested for drug possession and kicking someone at a bar in the nuts.Swallows opens a flask and pours some whiskey into his coffee.CHANCESir don’t you think it is a little early for that. I thought cops don’t drink on the job.SWALLOWSChance don't be such a pussy. What are you going to tell on me. Huh? Besides it helps with my headache from the night before.Chance begins to eat a nutri grain bar.SWALLOWSWhat the hell is this?CHANCESorry I didn't bring any donuts for you but, I am working on lowering my cholesterol.Swallows the over weight over the hill detective with a grudge adds mor whiskey to his coffee.SWALLOWSListen you are a cop. You live every day not knowing if some prick with a gun is going to take your life. It’s hard. I don’t the respect I deserve.Swallows begins to choke himself up and comes close to crying. Chance ignores Swallows and stands over the pictures of Khan.CHANCEThis guy Khan is set up and living right here in our city. I’m sure that he connected to the dock murders. If this guy is doing business here you can bet he’s not doing it alone. The key to catching Khan is to infiltrate his group.Chance stares at Swallows with an intense glare.SWALLOWSWhat’s that look for?Swallows is still oblivious to Chances grand scheme.CHANCEAren't you like a quarter Asian.Swallows steps back.SWALLOWSWait a second. Your not suggesting that I go under cover.Chance smiles and holds up his hands in an open gesture.CHANCEWell now wait a second!SWALLOWSListen this guy is a notorious nut puncher. I happen to love my balls, both of them. I need my balls and they need me.Chance puts his arm around Swallows.CHANCEYou are going to have to trust me on this.Swallows is still hesitant on letting Chance get a word in.SWALLOWSThere has to be another mole on the force that can go under.CHANCENot a bigger hardass than you on this force. Besides think of the press coverage when you bust this case wide open. It will be your face on the front of the paper.Swallows sits mystified by his face on the front page of the paper.CHANCEIt will read Detective Robert Chance promoted to Captian.SWALLOWSCaptain Swallows I could get used to the sound of that. There is only one rock we have’nt checked under. We need to go to the bar.CHANCEYou know once you have actually come up with a good idea. We should go to the Raven’s Nest.SWALLOWSI was thinking some where in uptown. There is virtually no ass worth fucking at the nest.CHANCEWe are not going to pick up ass. We are going undercover to pick up leads on the case. What better place to go to get the scoop on these endangered animals. I’m sure someone up there is connected in that market.SWALLOWSWe are going in my ride but, you are driving because I want to get a buzz going on the way.Chance looks at Swallows.CHANCEI have pretty much told you everything we need to know.Swallows explodes in a fit of anger.SWALLOWSListen Chance don’t be a little snake in the grass or I’ll have to cut your head off. Get me.Swallows towers over Chance but, Chance shows no sign of retreat.CHANCEMaybe you will get laid tonight. Get rid of some of that built up aggression.SWALLOWSYou are taking a shot with me.Swallows unscrews a flask and pours the liquor down his throat.SWALLOWSLet’s go.CHANCEKeys.SWALLOWSI changed my mind. I’m Driving.EXT. -- RAVEN’S NEST -- NIGHTChance and Swallows stand at the door to the bar. Chance stops before entering.CHANCETry not to lead on that we are cops.SWALLOWSListen, I was undercover when you were getting tucked in the covers by your momma. So don’t tell me how to play it cool.Chance points to Swallows hip.CHANCEYou might want to take that Badge off before you go in.Swallows puts his badge in his pocket and the two walk into the bar together.Raven’s Nest is a trashy dive with lonely crack head women leaning against the bar. One catches swallows eye. She is ghostly skinny and resembles a skeleton with skin. The bar tender looks like a Pablo Escabar and he is nose as he serves the patrons.Chance walks up to the bar.CHANCEI’ll take two newcastle beers.A woman dressed skimpily with a black eye grabs on his shirt.WOMAN WITH BLACK EYEYou smell good.CHANCEWell thank you.WOMAN WITH BLACK EYESo what brings you two handsome guys up here.SWALLOWSWe are looking for somebody.CHANCEMy friend her is a little beside himself.CHANCEHis wife told him she wanted a divorce.SWALLOWSIt was shocking I loved her so much.WOMAN WITH BLACK EYEOh baby it is ok there are plenty of other fish in the sea.A large black man walks up beside the woman and grabs her by the wrist.LARGE BLACK PIMPWhat are you doing bitch? Flirting or working.The larger black man licks on a cherry dum dum.LARGE BLACK PIMPYou boys want to do some fucking you better have that change.Swallows fights back his gut reaction to arrest the man.SWALLOWSI think you better let go of the ladies arm.The large black man stares swallows down. Chance jumps between the two.CHANCEWhat my friend is trying to say is we would love to purchase some quality time from you.Chance holds a wad of money in front of the pimps face. He counts the money and walks away.Chance leans into the girls ear.CHANCEYou know you don’t have to let him treat you like that.WOMAN WITH BLACK EYEI know but, he has the best blow in town.Swallows looks at chance like he can’t believe what he hears.SWALLOWSYou are kidding me you get blow from that guy.WOMAN WITH BLACK EYEYeah it’s really good do you want to try a bump.Swallows Doesn't know how to react so chance quickly interjects.CHANCEYeah, maybe in a minute I am looking for something a little harder to find.WOMAN WITH BLACK EYEHe’s got everything from guns to black tar heroin. It all depends on what you are looking for suga daddy.CHANCEI’m looking for one of these.Silence and a fearful expression sweeps across her demeanor.Chance shows a picture of an endangered species.CHANCEYou know what that is.WOMAN WITH BLACK EYEListen sir I don’t know nothing about no dow dow bird.Swallows and Chance make eye contact.SWALLOWSHow did you know what we were talking about.The woman with the black eye starts to look really paranoid and jumps back.WOMAN WITH BLACK EYEWhat are you guys cops or something. If you are you have to tell me you know it’s like the law.CHANCENo we are not cops are you crazy or something. Listen I am going to want some of that blow and a piece of that fucking ass...Chance moves in to grab the woman’s ass and is suddenly very surprised to see that there is nothing in his hands she virtually has no ass. The woman clacks her jaws.WOMAN WITH BLACK EYEI’m going to the rest room.CHANCEListen if you cant help us out it cool. At least let me buy you a shot.The woman looks at swallows with her black eye then back at her Pimp.WOMAN WITH BLACK EYEI will help you. I know this guy that... well he gets these funny looking animals all the time. I think he is asian or something. Anyway the guy is a total creepo I gave him a grease job once and he asked me to refer to him as the ultimate hardass. He wanted me to finger his ass.Swallows and Chance look disgustedWOMAN WITH BLACK EYEHe asked me to lick his ass thenShe wipes the dripping snot from her nose.WOMAN WITH BLACK EYEThe he asked me to hit it with a hammer. I think he has an ass fetish.SWALLOWSWhat a sicko. Ass fetish is this guy gay.WOMAN WITH BLACK EYENo but, his summo wrestler friend is.SWALLOWSYou know this quacks name?WOMAN WITH BLACK EYEWaun or fawn...She looks at Chance and he returns a glance they say the name at the same time.WOMAN WITH BLACK EYEKhan.CHANCEDo you know were he lives.WOMAN WITH BLACK EYEYeah it’s a yaht but, we did’nt go there. That’s what he told me we did’nt go there but, he told me it was really big.WOMAN WITH BLACK EYEListen he will be around here later right before the bar closes. If you want that it is going to cost you.Chance pulls out a wad of cash and hands it to the woman.CHANCEMake sure he doesn't get any of that.The woman walks into the rest room.The pimp walks into the rest room and slapping sounds are heard.Swallows begins to walk in the rest room with his gun out. Chance grabs his arm.SWALLOWSSorry but, this can’t go on any longer.INT. -- RAVEN’S NEST WOMANS REST ROOM -- NIGHTSwallows walks into the rest room and the song drive by the cars is playing. Swallows looks at the woman than her pimp.LARGE BLACK PIMPWhat the fuck do you think you are doing.Swallows punches the man causing him to fall back and slip.As he slips he falls back and hits his head on a toilet seat. His face smacks the floor and his lips are pressed against a stain of urine as he lays unconscious.Swallows wipes the sweat from his brow as if a huge weight has been lifted from his shoulder.Drive by the cars begins to play as the coked out skinny prostitute takes a bump.SWALLOWSHe’s not going to hurt you anymore.EXT. -- RAVEN’S NEST -- NIGHTClay Ron and Don are outside of the front door when Clay pauses as he grips the door handle.CLAYI hope you guys are ready to get fucked up and I don’t mean like last time.Don takes a deep breathe and walks through the door with his eyes closed. When he enters it is the same lame scene.Clay walks up to the bar and orders three shots of Patron.Ron and Don casually walk by some girls Don nods his head and the girls snicker at him.RONI can’t do this.DONWhat are you talking about.RONThey know we are the guys that got our asses kicked.DONListen I’ve gone too long without a piece of ass. Our sensei is right we need to party like we own this bar tonight.Clay walks over to were the ladies are and starts handing them Ron and Don’s shots.CLAYHey ladies you girls ever hear of something called the UFC.Swallows walks out of the women rest room and past clay.Ron notices him walking out but, Don is too busy Immersing himself into the conversation.DONHey I’m Don.The women Clay are talking to seem unimpressed.DONClay is our sensei. He is teaching us how to be hard asses.Don grabs Ron by the arm and pulls him in while turning him around.DONGo ahead feel his ass.The girls reach in for a grab.LADIESOw. That is one hard ass.Ron cracks a smile. The detectives leave following their lead out the Rave Nest doors.CLAYHere’s to being a hard ass.Ron and Don join in the toast.RON AND DONHard asses!As they toast three large men enter the Raven’s nest. They are dressed like thugs.CLAYRon I want you to go punk that guy over there. Go punk his ass.One of the thuggish looking men walk up to the juke box.Ron chugs his beer and boldly walks up to the man and taps him on the shoulder.THUGWhat?RONCan I have one of those cigarettes.Ron turns around and looks at Don and Clay. Clay looks disappointed at Ron. While the man pulls out his cigarettes Ron quickly chooses a song on the juke box.THUGHey man what the fuck do you think you are doing. I don’t want to listen to Hall and Oats.RONWhat you got something against my taste in music.THUGYeah it’s gay.RonFuck you.Ron is shoved but, quickly recovers. He pulls out his hand and points it at the thug.DONNo! He’s not worth it.Don pushes Ron’s hand/ imaginary gun, toward the ceiling. The tug laughs and turns to his friends while pointing at Ron and Don.THUGHe guys look at these two dip shits I think they are retarded.The thug turns around and Don is in his face.DONOn the contrary we are Hard asses.Don stomps the thug on the foot and head butts him sending him flying into the juke box. His friends stare at Ron and Don.RONAny one else want to test how hard our asses are, huh?The thugs posse cower away mumbling as Don jams out to Hall and Oats. From the back corner of the bar halfway in a shadow with a lit cigarette in his hand Khan watches Ron and Don show off.KHANWell well well Hard asses ay. Were there are hard asses there’s Clay Jackson.Clay comes into Khans view putting his arms around the two while introducing them to some ladies. Khan dips his head back into the shadow as if to avoid Clay’s attention. He the twists his moustache and scowls and begins to mumble to himself.KHANLong time no see Mr. Jackson.EXT. -- SWIMMING POOL -- DAYClay has on his black ninja swimming trunk with a floating device in one hand and a beer in the other. He throws the float in the pool and begins to dip his foot in and out of the water.CLAYPay attention to this boys. It’s all about speed.A little boy snorkels by clay’s foot and he swiftly kicks through the water knocking off the boys goggle and causing him to nearly drown. The boy comes out of the water and cries. His mom jumps in the pool and wraps her arms around him.MOMAre you ok baby.CHILDMommy he kicked me.The mom looks at clay in disgust.CLAYMam you might want to tell your kid to get out of the way I’m training hard asses here. Unless you want him to become one too.Clay cracks his neck and looks back at his two students who are exiting the pool side rest room in slow motion. Ron and Don have on speedos with earplugs goggles and a nose pinch.CLAYDamn you boys are starting to look like a couple of pussies. What’s all that for.DONI don’t like it when chlorine gets in my eyes it burns and turns them red. Ron’s wearing the earplugs because he gets swimmers ear real bad.Ron takes out one of his earplugs.RONWhat’s up are we starting with some practice laps?CLAYRon hand me the water hose over there.Clay points to a water hose then takes out a knife from the crotch part of his swimming trunks. Ron hands it to him and he hands Ron the knife, which has some pubic hairs sticking out of it.CLAYGo cut the end of the hose. Today ladies is the most physically challenging part of being a hard ass is six hours of constant under water hard ass training. You are going to stay under for around six hours breathing through this hose. From there you will half to regulate your breathing to one one thousandth of a regular human breath.Clay pushes Ron into the pool and Don cannonballs after.DONYou are going to need a pair of goggles under the water Clay. Your eyes will burn and turn red even if you don’t try to open them.Clay turns to Don.CLAYMaybe for soft baby eyes like yours. My eyes are hardened. I don’t even need tears.Clay blinks his eyes slowly and it sounds like two pieces of sand paper rubbing together. He then does a head first dolphin dive into the shallow end of the pool. Clay continues showing off by walking on his hands towards Ron and Don. He swims under the two brothers and yanks them one by one under the water. Ron grabs the hose right before being pulled under.EXT. -- UNDER SWIMMING POOL -- DAYClay is showing the want to be hard asses how to kick as they pass the pass the water hose Clay refuses to use it to breathe. He takes the hose and points his two fingers at his eyes which are open under water. He checks his pulse and motions for Ron and Don to do the same.CLAYSlow it down. Four seconds between each pulse.The boys mimic Clay’s under water kicks and punches until six hours later the three of them merge and bring their heads slowly above water. Clay’s eyes are completely red to the point they are glowing red.CLAYLesson complete.DONClay you may have to get some visine man your eyes are pretty red.CLAYFuck Ben Stien I like my eyes red.RONI’m pretty hungry holy shit!Ron has just noticed the redness of Clay’s eyes then looks to his brother Don.RONNow that is hard ass. Ok burgers on me I’m starving.INT. KHAN’S MAIN LAIRKHANWith the final two Hardasses out of the picture World Domination will be one step closer!HENCHMAN 1Your pretty awesome Khan.KHANYou, damn right im awesome. In fact im even better than awesome!Khan grabs a sword off out the wall and charges the Henchman running the sword right through his stomach.HENCHMAN 1(Gurgling his own blood)I love you Sensai and will gladly die by your frivolous rage!Khan swishes the sword around and around in the stomach of the Henchman and he screams in agony until finally giving into death. Khan pulls out the sword and spits on the corpses face. He then turns around. The other henchman sit around in shock but stay still obediently. Khan turns and walks past all of them doing maneuvers with the sword above their face and nearly swiping them but not.KHANBeing leader of this clan the meir compliment “awesome” is not enough I am afraid. Especially now that I have done what all my predecessors before me could not do an conquered all of the Hardasses.He puts the sword to his side and stands in front of the group dead center.KHANFrom now on anyone who refers to my actions as anything less than stellar, brilliant or positively magnificent will be slain in a much more brutal manner than the fortunate soul that lays dead below my feet. Let this be an example to you all!!! Muhahahahahahahaha......During Khan’s laugh a high ranking Henchman enters the room.HENCHMAN 2Khan Sir., the two Hardasses have awakened and are ready for torture. We prepared a cart as requested.KHANExcellent my loyal subject. Now slit your throat for my amusement.The Henchman makes no hesitation and bludgeons a dagger into his neck and drags it across his throat tearing it completely open. He is unable to speak but salutes Khan in his final moment of life before he falls to the ground.KHANI love being me.Khan leaves the room to go continue torturing the Hardasses. Once he leaves the room everyone in the room gasp and relaxes for a minute.HENCHMAN 3That Khan sure is a real tight ass. He had better hope he never tries to..............Appearing out of nowhere A blade decapitates the nay-saying henchman while the others look in shock and horror.KHANRemember, the wrath of Khan is never far away. Nay-Say me and you shall pay! MuhahahahaThe henchman salute Khan simultaneously as he starts to exit yet again.KHANYou all hold still while daddy takes care of business.Not a single word is uttered by anyone in the room.This section will take place once Ron and Don are imprisoned by Khan. Khan convinced everyone that they were dead to trick fear into the other gangs. Tina and Julie thought both Don and Ron were dead and have moved on to two new guys. This scene takes place 6 months after their disappearance. The main purpose of this scene is to establish that both Ron and Don have been tortured for months on end and still remain absolute hardasses hell bent on revenge. This is the first sighting of either of them by the girls since they were pronounced dead by Khan.EXT. --3 A.M. OUT SIDE OF A DINER THAT TINA AND JULIE HAVE WORKED AT SINCE THEY WERE 17-- NIGHTDon lurks in the shadows as Tina gets off of work and exits the back door to an alley.DONHello Tina.TINAWho is there? I got some mace so don’t you try nothing.She digs in her purse for the mace as Don’s voice echoes through the alley again.DONNo need for mace Tina, I have no intentions of causing you harm!Upon hearing that frightening remarks she instantly empties the contents of the mace into the direction of the voice. Her direction is nearly dead on and about %90 of the mace empty into Don’s eyes. Considering all of the torture he has recently endured he does not even flinch and steps into the light to be seen. The only visible sign of distress is a single tear coming down his cheek.TINADon, is that you? Oh my god, I wouldn’t have, I mean, if I had known it was you. I would have never. I am so sorryDon does not flinch one bit and then speaks as if he felt nothing from the mace.DONPain don’t hurt. Not after what I have been through.TINAI thought you were dead Don! Oh my god, I thought you were dead!DONKhan wanted everyone to believe the hardasses were wiped out. Thats the only way he could have made anyone cower to him.TINAOh my God you are alive!!!The two stare into each others eyes and relive their previous encounters via a flashback. The flashback ends on Ron getting his ass smashed on the ground out in front of the Crow’s Nest.TINAIs Ron.....Is he....Alive?DONI, uh, I don’t know how to tell you this but....The torture that Khan put us through......Well, he couldn’t take it. I mean he didn’t make it.TINASo you mean he is dead? (hesitant) Oh my god, that is just terrible.DONYeah babe, I’m sorry, he died a hero.TINAWell, thats just too bad hun. I am so sorry you lost your brother.DONWell, weren’t you in love with him?TINAIn love with Ron? Oh no dear. I liked him a lot but he just up and left me. What else was I to do?DONUp and left? We were kidnapped and tortured for months? We, I mean I came to find you just as soon I escaped. Its just, I thought...TINALook hun, I treasure the time that John, I mean, Ron and I had together. I do, but in my time for mourning him I got back with my ex Seth who just so happens to own 2 of the 4 fried chicken stores in the tri-county area.DONSeth Paquette?? You mean one of those guys who put us in the hospital the day we met? I can’t believe you would even...Just as things start to get heavy Ron comes out of the shadows behind Tina.RONHey there Tina, I just heard you say you like me!TINAWell uh, what? I thought he said you was dead?RONWell I am not, and you said you like me. I knew it!TINAOh Ron. Sure I like you but Seth is making like 5 figures running those restaurants and we got a baby on the way and.....She then turns to the side exposing a bump on her stomach. Ron and Don are both shocked and then Tina interrupts.TINAWell, I’m sorry Ron. Its just not meant to be hun. Things changed when you were not around.Ron cuts in and ask out of desperation.RONIs there any chance that the baby is mine? I mean, we did make love that once. How far along are you?TINAI am 7 months.RON AND DONBut we were only gone for six?RONYeah, we were gone for only six. There is a chance its mine!In mid-conversation Seth pulls up in a beat-up old pickup truck. Upon seeing who the driver is Ron and Don quickly disappear into the shadows to not be seen.SETHGet in the truck bitch.Tina looks around to see both Don and Ron are gone.SETHBitch I said get in the truck! I ain’t waiting here all day. You want me to leave your pregnant ass? Its about to rain!Tina sighs and then gets into the truck and it drives off. Ron and Don still lurking in the shadows converse about what just happened.RONDid you hear that dude? I am gonna be a daddy!DONDude, were you not just here? Its not your kid man. She doesn’t even love you.RONShe said she likes me and thats enough for me. Who cares about that other guy. You know she will chose me in the end.DONI don’t think that is the conclusion I would draw but okay, whatever you say man.RONLook man, just because you have never been in love like this doesn’t mean you have to piss on my parade.DONI am not pissing on your parade man I am just trying to make you see things for what they are!RONYour jealousy is transparent brother but don’t worry. I am sure one day you will find true love as I have!DONYou are one delusional individual.While the two are arguing they fail to see Julie coming out of the same door Tina came out of only moments ago.JULIEHey, I know you guys. (Hiccup) Ain’t you the ones that me and Tina messed around with a few drunken nights? (Hiccup)At the sight of Julie Don forgets about the argument he was having with Ron completely and shifts focus to her.DONJulie my dear, I have come back to you. It is my hopes that you too have not hooked up with your ex in my absence.JULIEMy ex? You think I would do that. After all he did to you guys he can rot in hell.Don gives a sigh of relief as his heart flutters for things to come. Before he can say anything to his beloved the same back door opens up and out comes a stalky Italian guy (Freddy Zucco the Owner of the restaurant) with a thick mustache and accent. He walks outside and sees his girlfriend talking to Ron and Don and responds with immediate intimidation and grabs Julie’s ass.FREDDYNow Jewel’s you know papa doesn’t like to see you talking to other boys.JULIEOh Freddy, these guys are nothing. Just some old pals. They don’t mean no harm. Besides, they don’t have any money.After taking one look at Ron and Don Freddy believes Julie.FREDDYJewelsy, be a good girl and fetch the car.Freddy throws the keys at Julie and she catches them. She then runs to the car without looking back.FREDDYLook here you two, I don’t like ANYONE talking to my girl but I do consider this as an exception.Ron and Don look at each other confused.FREDDYNow I was gonna eat the rest of this Pizza later but after seeing you two in such a pathetic state I want you to have it. I consider myself a good Christian man and all so....He puts the pizza box on the ground in front of Ron and Don in a manner that shows he clearly does not want to touch them. Before he can finish or they can respond and show how insulted they are a cell phone in Freddy’s pocket rings. He answers it while motioning Ron and Don to stay put and shut up.FREDDYHello there pumpkin.You hear a voice responding to Freddy but it is always incoherent (Think like Charlie Brown’s Parents).FREDDYOh I am afraid not tonight baby girl. I’ve got some business to attend to.Freddy winks at Ron and Don to show how “sly” he is.FREDDYLook, i’ve got some colleagues that desperately need my attention right now! I’ll call you when I need you. *Click*Ron and Don look at Freddy menacingly.FREDDYI kinda get the impression you guys don’t like me.Gritting his teeth at the man who just insulted his woman.DONWhat ever could make you think that?FREDDYA man of my stature does not get where he is without being able to read people.Julie pulls up in a truck that is nearly identical to the one that Bubba-Ray was driving earlier.JULIECome on sugar. Leave them two be so we can go home and make love!Freddy stares at the two hardasses with malice in his eyes. Julie looks at them as if helpless and gives Don a smile that is two thirds pity and one third compassion.FREDDYI had better not catch either of you two around here or near my precious, little Julie again! You hear me?JULIEDamn it Freddy for the last time, they don’t mean no harm now get in the truck hun so we can go!Freddy opens the door to the cab and pushes Julie over to the passenger side with an uncalled for brute force.FREDDYScoot over bitch.Freddy revs up the engine causing a load of smoke to come out of the exhaust.FREDDYTonight is your lucky night boys. If I see your asses again you won’t be so lucky!The car squeals off and leaves Ron and Don in a cloud of smoke.DON*Coughing* Did you see that man? She stopped him from fighting us.RONSo? She wanted to go have sex. She didn’t want to have to wait.DONNo dude, it was more than that. I saw it in her eyes. She still loves me.RONLook man, lets just pretend they both love us so that at least in our minds we have something to fight for.DONThats exactly what I needed to hear brother.The two put there hands together in a huddle and then raise up once they toast themselves.DONTo true love.RONAnd to the order of Hardass and all that Clay Jackson taught us.RON AND DONAmen.RONNow lets go avenge our Sensai and get our girls back!DONAgreed!The two run off into the shadows with nothing on there mind but avenging their Sensai and getting back the women that they love/the only girls that have ever had!EXT. -- CROW’S NEST -- NIGHTClay Jackson is sitting at the bar downing shots with the bar tender. The two boys now have to take what they have learned and defend their sensays honor by fighting back against the underground ninja mafia. Ron and Don walk into the 48 hour fitness three weeks since the ass whooping. Don still has stitches in his upper lip but, the swelling has gone down. Ron has on a neck brace and is determined to get bigThe sensay walks by the student observing his hard ass skillz against a pole.CLAYGood work!Don is whip kicking the pole with perfect fucking precision.CLAYGreat that, was great precision!Ron steps up and.. Slips between the sensay and the pole. He strikes the pole braking his hand at the same time.RONI want to see a mirror so I can break the illusion of his strength.Don tied up by the ninja warriors screams with the rest of his breathe sending blood in the air.DONBreak it Ron.Ron shatters the one mirror in the room exposing a cobra that lunges at Ron. The cobra bites Ron’s hand. Ron sucks out the venom as a ninja jumps on him from the roof. Ron brakes the guys neck over his shoulder.RONReady or not dead you’ve become.Don jumps in the air and screams. He runs to the dead man in front of Don and jumps on his head.DONGood thing I came over here and killed this guy before he shot you.RONHe didn't have a gun man.DONWell then what’s that in his hand then?RONThat’s not a gun, that is his hand.DONOh, well.... It looked like a gun from over there.RONEither way, thanks dude.DONDon’t mention it. Lets go and grab that guys gun.Ron shrugs at Don because there never was a gun in the first place but then continues onward. They walk forward in silence and encounter a hallway with white walls like a dojo would have soon. The walls are thin and after a few steps the lights dim and become completely black.DONLooks like they cut the lights.RONThey can’t even play fair.DONLets quit talking and be more alert.The two walk forward and after a few steps Don ducks down just missing a battle axe and performs a sweep on his attacker. He quickly disarms the attacker and takes his weapon a long with a pair of night vision goggles.DONLooks like they are playing real dirty friend.He puts on the goggles and then looks at his attacker who is trembling on his knees. His eyes meet with his attacker and he glares.DONI just had to see this.He then grabs the attacker by his head and violently burst out his eyes without mercy.DONAhahahahaha...............The body falls limp to the floor and Don speaks from his heart.DONSee Ya. AhahaRONWhat just happened dude.DONOh man, you should have seen it. I just went wild on that dudes eyes with my thumbs.RONWhat? No way!DONYeah man, I just burst them out with the pressure. It was awesome. Here, just take these goggles and take a look. That guy is pretty messed up. I think he passed out.Don handles Ron the goggles and he gets a look at the mangled body on the floor and the blood.RONNice work bro! Oh my god man. That was pretty sick.As he looks up from the body the entire wall behind his brother is full of shadows of ninjas. He grabs his brother by the wrist and darts off through the opposite wall. Behind the opposite wall are two extremely large sumo wrestlers that grab Ron in a bear hug. The other sumos enter from hidden doors in the room. Ron screaming begins to gasp for breath just as Don gets taken from behind sending him unconscious to the floor. A short asian man enters the room.EXT. -- BOW OF KHAN’S BOAT -- NIGHTWild animals run across the bow of the boat as Ron and Don finish off Khan’s henchmen. Khan watches a polar bear run off his boat and on to the dock.KHANMy pets. He would have made a beautiful rug.RONYour days of animal cruelty are over Khan.KHANI should have finished you off when I had the chance. Now you are really going to suffer.Ron and Don pull their thumbs back and get ready to shoot Khan with their imaginary hard ass weapon. Khan begins to laugh.KHANYou fools can’t stop me. I am the ultimate hardass.Ron and Don look at each other puzzled that they can no longer use their hands as guns. Khan pulls out a samurai sword.KHANNow you will bleed and scream like little girls. Like clay Jackson.DONKhan you are one ugly mother Fucker.Khan laughs then charges the hard asses with his sword. Each slice nearly misses them. Don picks up a chair and throws it at khan. Khan slices it into several tiny peices before it hits the ground.DONOk bad idea.Khan then lands a flying leg kick to Dons face knocking out his front teeth. He walks over to Don and holds the sword over his head. The starts to chuckle menacingly. He holds the sword over Don execution style.RONNo!Ron picks up a crow bar and hits Khan in the shoulder with it causing him to drop the sword. Khan then backhands Ron sending him five feet into the air.KHANIt will take more than that to stop ultimate hard ass.Don pulls his bloody face up from the boat floor and smiles with no teeth.DONHey khan kiss my hard ass bitch.Don slams his hand on a green button that releases a magnetic lock holding a large steal crate over his head. The steel crate falls on khan with enough force to kill several hundred men. Once the crate lands on Khan a elephants majestic cry is heard from inside of the crate. Ron and Dons watch begins to beep.RONThe crumples are ready.A large explosion blasts out the windows of Khan’s boat. Sirens begin to squeal as Ron helps a wounded Don walk off the boat. Agents Chance and Swallows jump out of the squad car with their guns drawn. Swallows points the Gun at Ron and Don.SWALLOWSStop right there! Police!Chance recognizes Ron and Don then puts his gun down and places a hand on Swallows gun lowering it.CHANCEIt’s ok. It’s just Ron and his brother Don.SWALLOWSWho?CHANCEThey are hard asses.Khan explodes out of the side of the crate and jumps of the boat on to a jet ski.KHANYou will pay for this candy asses.DONIt’s hard asses. We will see you again soon enough Khan.Chance helps Don but, he refuses the help. The four men walk away from the dock as the boat burns.EXT. -- BOW OF KHAN’S BOAT -- NIGHTWild animals run across the bow of the boat as Ron and Don finish off Khan’s henchmen with their “guns”. Khan watches a polar bear run off his boat and on to the dock.KHANMy pets!!!! He would have made a beautiful rug.RONYour days of animal cruelty are over Khan.DONYeah, and we’re also gonna kick your ass!KHANI should have finished you off when I had the chance.Khan cracks his knuckles with a look of confidence.KHANNow you are really going to suffer.Ron and Don pull their thumbs back and get ready to shoot Khan with their imaginary hard ass weapon. Khan looks at them fearlessly and begins to laugh.KHANYou fools think you can stop me? Muhahahaha.... Your guns may work on my minions but, I put Ancient Hardass secrets to shame!Ron and Don look at each other puzzled that they can no longer use their hands as guns. Khan pulls out a Samurai sword.KHANNow you will bleed and scream like little girls just like your pitiful Sensei Clay Jackson.DONKhan you are one sick Mother Fucker and you are gonna pay for what you have done! Prepare to suck fist.Khan laughs then charges the Hard asses with his sword. Each slice nearly misses them. Don picks up a chair and throws it at Khan. Khan slices it into several tiny pieces before it hits the ground.DONOk, bad idea.Khan jumps and then lands a flying leg kick to Dons face knocking out his front teeth. He walks over to Don and holds the sword over his head. The starts to chuckle menacingly. He holds the sword over Don execution style.KHANOne down and one to go!RONNo!Ron picks up a crowbar and hits Khan in the shoulder with it piercing his shoulder causing him to drop the sword. Khan pulls the crowbar out of his shoulder and then backhands Ron sending him five feet into the air.KHANIt will take more than that to stop me! It is time I show you wannabes who is the one and only Ultimate Hardass! (echoing)As soon as Khan speaks the words “Ultimate Hardass” he charges Ron, grabs him by the neck and starts punching him in the face repeatedly.KHANEven that pussy Clay Jackson put up more of a fight than this! You bring shame to his teachings!Khan raises his foot and rubs it on Ron’s face.KHANTaste elephant dung you half ass candy ass lame ass not even remotely close to being hard ass.You would think Clay would have taught you to be a bit harder. It does not matter though, soon he will be telling you this face to face. Ah hah ha hah ha!Don pulls his bloody face up from the boat floor and smiles with no teeth.DONHey Khan, kiss my hard ass you bitch!Don nods at his brother signaling him to move and then slams his hand on a green button. The button releases a magnetic lock that holds a large steal crate that is swaying over Khan’s head. The steel crate falls on Khan with enough force to kill any living thing. Once the crate lands on Khan an elephant’s majestic cry is heard from inside of the crate. As the dust clears both Ron and Dons watch begin to beep at the same time.RONThe crambles are ready.A large explosion blasts out the windows of Khan’s boat. Sirens begin to squeal as Ron helps a wounded Don walk off the boat. Agents Chance and Swallows jump out of the squad car with their guns drawn. Swallows points his gun at Ron and Don.SWALLOWSStop right there! FBI, don’t move or I will shoot!Chance recognizes Ron and Don then puts his gun down and places a hand on Swallows gun lowering it.CHANCEIt’s ok. It’s just Ron and his brother Don.Ron and Don look slightly confused that Chance knows them by name but relieved none the less.SWALLOWSWho?CHANCEThey are not criminals! They, they are Hard asses.Ron and Don beam with pride that someone refers to them as that title. The word asses is over emphasized by Chance.SWALLOWSHard asses? What the hell are you talking about?Chance is more concerned on apprehending the two possible perps than hearing his partner out.CHANCEWell you see Swallows, I did some research of my own and I think you will be pleased with the results.SWALLOWSThis had better be some Shakespeare kid because right now is not the time.CHANCEThou doth believe it is.Swallows points his gun and Ron and Don and instructs them to get down.SWALLOWSYou two, get on the ground with your hands behind your head.CHANCEThat won’t be necessary Detective.Swallows, not about to be told what to do by his young partner points the gun at Ron and Don again and screams.SWALLOWSI said get on the fucking ground now!Ron and Don run to where he is pointing and squat down with there hands behind there head.SWALLOWSGet on with it.CHANCERon and Don are two brothers that always got pushed around in life. In their search to better themselves they became followers of non-other than Clay Jackson. Clay trained the two and taught them everything he could about the art of the “Hardass” fighting style.SWALLOWSSo they are in on it!CHANCENo, they are not in on it. In fact, they are on Clay’s side. I even have reason to believe that it was one of them who made the 911 call after his murder.Swallows glares at Chance and is still VERY unimpressed.CHANCEAny ways, after Clay’s death the two of them realized that if they did not avenge Clay then no one else would so they set out to make an attack on Khan.RONHow do you know all of this?SWALLOWSDon’t you speak unless spoken to you scum bag!Chance waves at Ron indicating he should shut up for now.CHANCEWhile their intentions were good at the time of their attack they were very under prepared and Khan easily stopped them.DONThis guy is good man, real good.Chance shoots a shut up glance at Don.CHANCEKhan spent the next 6 months torturing them in the most horrible ways imaginable to teach them a lesson before they died. While I can’t know for sure some how after neat 6 months in captivity they escaped.Without any notice a sword slashes Chance’s head off in a single bloody swipe.KHANVery good Mr. Chance but it a shame you are no longer alive to tell the rest of your story!Swallows is shocked but still responds quickly!SWALLOWSDrop your weapon before I blow your brains out Khan!KHANNow you know I cannot do that Mr. Swallows! You all know way too much information!Swallows starts to fire at Khan but Khan just walks towards him deflecting all of his bullets with the sword.KHANHave a seat boysHe uses his ability to deflect the bullets in the direction of Ron and Don hitting both of them in the knee-caps and causing them to fall to the ground. Once Swallows runs out of bullets Khan swings his sword at him and decapitates him as well.KHANOoowww. It’s getting messy in here. I think it’s time you two gerber asses get your diapers changed.Khan walks over to where Ron and Don who are cowering and prepares to kill them as well.KHANYou two have been a thorn in my side for way to long. Once you are finally dead there will be no witnesses to my treachery and I will be able to continue my business.RONKhan, you have defeated us. Please let us live. We will never cause you trouble again.DONYeah Khan, we will join you. We will do anything. You are the Ultimate Hardass and we are both nothing!RONThats right, we are nothing. We bow before the great Khan!KHANAh hah hah hah hah!!!!!!!!!! Pussies.While in a fit of laughter Khan uses his sword to butcher Ron and Don to shreds while their blood goes everywhere. Once they are completely disemboweled and clearly dead a blood soaked Khan turns to face the dark sky and screams.KHANFuck you Clay Jackson!!!! See you in hell! Muwhahahahaha...........As Khan’s laughter fades and then turns into a beeping sound that comes from a respirator.INT. -- HOSPITAL -- DAYA respirator beeps faster and faster as Khan, whose head is the only thing visible as the rest of him is attached to an iron lung, appears to wake from a dream. The curtain is pulled a side by the same old man from the beginning of the movie.OLDMANYou better calm down there sunny. It looks like you had a bad dream. Don’t get yourself too excited or you might just kick the bucket.Khan is incredibly disoriented and looks around the room.KHANWhere am I? What is this place.OLDMANOh boy, you lost your mind too? Thats such a shame. It happens to the best of us. You are in the hospital buddy. You got yourself in pretty banged up if you ask me.KHANThe hospital, what? This can’t be. I defeated Ron and Don. I killed them both. I watched them die.OLDMANRon and Don? Oh those are some nice kids. They came by here a few times to see you but you never woke up. See look, they even bought you some flowers!The old man points at a bouquet of flowers that are old and withered and bear a striking resemblance to the ones that Ron and Don got at the beginning of the movie. He pulls the card from the flowers and reads it to Khan.OLDMAN“Dear Khan, It looks like you are not such a Hardass after all. -Ron and Don”KHANNOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!As Khan screams his heart rate gets faster and fasters. The doctors rush in the room to subdue him but his screams continue. After a minute or two the beeps go from fast to flat-line and Khan dies. The doctors start to wheel him out of the room and into the hall. During the process the old man complains they are blocking the TV and he cannot see his stories. While taking his corpse down the hall they roll him right pass Ron, Don, Julie, Tina and Tina and “Ron’s” half Mexican baby. Julie has a bump on her stomach that indicates she is now pregnant.RONNurse, Stop!The nurse pulls the gurney to a stop.NURSEAre you family? We can only stop for family.DONHe was our Sensai’s Sensai.The nurse looks at the group and her eyes stop on the baby.NURSEI don’t speak Spanish but I need a cigarette break so i’ll give you all five minutes to say your goodbyes.RON AND DONThanks.RONWhy don’t you and Tina take Pepe into the waiting room. This won’t take long.JULIEOkay sugar. See you soon.The two women embrace their men and walk away with the child. Ron and Don stand over Khan and glance down at his corpse.RONIts a shame he died before we could rub it in his face that we are so happy.DONDamn straight brother. Damn straight.RONOh well man, I guess its at least good to know he is dead.DONYeah, thats a real relief.Ron hocks a large loogie and then spits on Khan’s corpse.RONFuck it man, lets get out of here. We have got a life to live.DONAmen brother. Lets go to the Dojo and work out.Don then repeats his brothers actions and spits on Khan’s face. The two turn their back to Khan and walk away.RONYou know, why don’t we go get some ice cream with the girls first and then work out.DONSounds like a plan.The two brothers walk out of site and the nurse comes back to retrieve Khan’s corpse. She pushes him down the hall and into the morgue. Once in the morgue she opens a slot and slides the gurney in. After making sure it is secure she exits the room and heads back down the hall. From inside the drawer their is a faint laughter that grows louder until the drawer bursts open.THE ENDWritten by Jacob Jones and Lance Lyon (Two real Hardassessss)
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THE PYSCH WARD (WRITTEN BY THE PYSCH WARD)
Sep 12, 2008
EXT. --COUNTRY HOME-- SUNDAY AFTERNOONGrandpa and a group of children are gathered around the radio on the front porch listening to their favorite program. All of a sudden the radio turns off. Grandpa’s rocking chair becomes still and the kids start to complain.LITTLE BILLYMan what’s wrong with it.He turns it off and on but no reception. The other kids get up and surround the radio as grandpa starts to rock back and forth in the chair again. Little Billy turns and screams at him.LITTLE BILLY (CONT'D)Hey papa do you know how to fix this.PAPAWell back in my day we didn't have no fancy speaker boxes. I don’t reckon I could do much more than what you is doing right now.LITTLE BILLYWell what did you do for fun when you were a kid grandpa.PAPAWell we used to tell stories.LITTLE BILLYWow! Do you have any stories grandpa?The children run up to Grandpa’s rocking chair and form a perfect circle.PAPAHell yeah bitch , I got a big ass black box of the rawest fucking stories you’ll ever hear.LITTLE BILLYCan I hear one.The other kids chime inPAPAOK well you'll have to shut the fuck up and let your grandpap speak.A long time ago their used to be a rap group that had the most gangster beats ever. There was just one problem.LITTLE BILLYWhat was that grandpa?PAPAIf you would shut up a minute i’ll tell you. You see these guys were locked up in a mental hospital. A place they keep crazy people.LITTLE BILLYWere they crazy?PAPANot as crazy as I'm going to get while I’m whooping your ass cause you can’t keep your trap shut. They were so crazy that they decided to try their luck at breaking out of this maximum security Psychiatric Ward.INT. --SAINT SEDATED -- NIGHTAn old man with long grey hair is walking down a hall jingling keys in his hand.INT. --SEWAGE PIPE-- NIGHTA man is crawling down a long sewage pipe with a flashlight in his hands. He frequently stops to vomit.INT. --PSYCH WARD-- NIGHTThe guy with the keys in his hand walks up to a cell and pears through the window. Through the slot is a black man strapped to a bed staring at the wall. The door then opens and the old man walks in and places a black and mild in the mouth of the inmate and begins to light it and unbuckle the harnesses that were keeping him strapped to the bed. The two then leave the room and head down the hall towards a cell at the end with a sign above the door the reads “Do Not Open -really fucked in the head-” The old man slides back the slot on the front of the cell door and looks through it. The cell is decorated in a late eighteenth century decor with a man in a large purple robe eating a bowl of cereal and watching a flat screen television placed above the fireplace.(later to find the old man is Cole Slaws father)INT. --SEWAGE PIPE-- NIGHTThere is light at the end of the tunnel as a man crawls faster through the brown sludge with turds on his head.VELVET JThirty more yards and i'm threw wid this shithole FOREVER!!!!INT. --SAINT SEDATED-- NIGHTThe door to the forbidden cell opens and The inmate and the old man step inside.Cole slaw notices through his bad ass gangster vision someone is about to step on his rug then puts his silky pimp finger out to indicate no!COLE SLAWHalt! Take your shoes off. This rug was my grandmothers and was maid of Indonesia silk particles pubic hairs of a monastery monk woven into it. Who the fuck are you and how did you get in here.The inmate King Khaos puts his hand across the old mans chest keeping him from stepping on the rug.KING KHAOSHold up player! Are you Cole Slaw the beat Master?Cole Slaw sips the milk from his cereal bowl leaving a white mustache across his mouth.COLE SLAWWho wants to know.Khaos sips his black and mild blowing out a drag.KING KHAOSI’m breaking you out tonight you are a free man on one condition. You have to make king worthy beats for me and my partner to rap to.Cole slaw looks at the old man then King Khaos.COLE SLAWFuck you bitch. What do I get?The old man is laughing at what is on the television. Not paying attention to the conversation going on between Khaos and the beat master Cole Slaw.KHAOSMoney, power respect pussy on tap and fat asses I know you like fat asses I can tell.Cole Slaw still does not look convincedKING KHAOSI got some weed and Henessey.Cole Slaw drops the bowl of cereal on his rug.COLE SLAWI haven't smoked in centuries.KING KHAOSAre you down?Cole Slaw stands up and walks toward King Khaos with an intent look on his face.COLE SLAWLet’s do the damn thing.The old man unlocks the front doors for Khaos and Cole Slaw.OLD MANWell this is the end of the line for me boys.KING KHAOSYou don’t want to leave this place.OLD MANI can’t I’ve been here too long. I couldn't survive out there. The world’s changed since I’ve been in here. I just ask one thing from you boys.KING KHAOSAnything old man just name it.OLD MANWell maybe just a post card every now and then to let me know how you boys are doing.KING KHAOSYou got it.OLD MANWell and maybe just a flask of whiskey and some cigarettes maybe a dub of cocaine and some pornos, gangbang style no fatties.Cole Slaw looks a KhaosCOLE SLAWLet’s go smoke.The Two head toward the road in front of the Psych Ward as a beat up old car slams to a stop down the road beside a drainage pipe. Velvet J comes out of the pipe and watches Khaos and Cole Slaw walk toward him. Velvet jumps in the car and it squeals to a stop beside Cole and Khaos and the two get in the back of the car.INT. --CAR-- NIGHTVELVET JHow the fuck how did you get out.KING KHAOSThe old man had some keys.VELVET JYou weren't going to tell me.KING KHAOSYou said crawling through that pipe of shit was the only way out. You planed that shit for years I wasn't going to fuck up your plans.VELVET JFuck you Khaos.KING KHAOSDamn you smell like shit.Velvet J turns around and looks at King Khaos with toilet paper and shit on his head.VELVET JThat’s cause I’m top shit bitch.COLE SLAW(Repeats) Top Shit (thinks off in the distance)King Khaos catches the eye of the driver while she was looking in the rearview mirror.KING KHAOSWho’s the ho?VELVET JThis is my soon to be wife Crystol. We met on E Harmony. She’s been nice enough to shack us up for a few weeks until we can get them greenbacks growing.COLE SLAWWe got to go by my boy Raw Slaw’s crib first and pick up my beat machine.VELVET JI’m sure Crystol don’t mind rollin over to your boys for a few.Crystol Puts a cigarette in her mouth and for the first time her face is shown revealing a cleft upper lip. She lights the cigarette and blows out a drag then replies in a mans voice. (Girl is Velvet J in drag)CRYSTOLI don’t give a shit.COLE SLAWTake a cleft up here. I mean left up here.KING KHAOSStop right hair, I mean here!Crystol jerks the wheel sending everyone to one side of the car as it skids into the turn.INT. --SAINT SEDATED HOSPITAL-- LATER THAT NIGHTHospital security and FBI agents in suits surround a television as they watch camera footage of the inmates escaping.INT. --RAW SLAW’S CRIB-- NIGHTRaw Slaw A guy with long hair stands in the middle of the room playing a guitar while another dude is sitting on the couch with his head tilted back and his eyes shut.DUDE ON COUCHI see my third eye right now man.Still playing the guitar Raw Slaw looks up with eyes closed as a total black screen turns into a kaleidoscope of colors spiraling around two blue shimmering alien heads. Raw Slaw then opens his eyes and the room is starting to shake as the walls melt.RAW SLAWI’m tripping hard.The door bell rings and Raw Slaws face looks terrified by the sound. He runs up the peep hole and sees Cole Slaws eye staring at him.RAW SLAW (CONT’D)Oh shit! Who is it?COLE SLAWIt’s Cole Slaw bitch!RAW SLAWNo, it’s not! Cole Slaw’s dead.COLE SLAWI’m not dead I’ve just been in a mental Hospital.RAW SLAWWhat’s the pass word.Cole Slaw turns and looks at King Khaos.COLE SLAWI got weed muther fucker!A second goes by and the door unlocks then opens.RAW SLAWIt is you. Well I’ll be a crab in Cindy Crawford’s bush. I thought you were dead.Cole Slaw steps in the apartment leading the rest of the entourage behind him. The apartment is a wreck. Beer bottles cover the kitchen Cole Slaw lifts his head up.COLE SLAWIt smells like shit in here.VELVET JThat would be me. Can I use your shower?RAW SLAWYeah man around the corner.Velvet j heads to the restroom.COLE SLAWYou still have my beat machine don’t you.RAW SLAWAbsolutely it’s back in the laboratory. You haven't seen my specimens yet follow me.Raw Slaw and Cole Slaw head the a back room as King Khaos and Crystol sit on the couch beside the dude who still hasn't moved. Velvet J runs in the room with a naked baby in his arms.VELVET JHelp! Somebody call 911 this baby was lying face down in the bath and it’s not breathing.Raw Slaw runs back in the living room.RAW SLAWOh that's my nephew he’s just playing with you.VELVET JI don’t think so man he’s not breathing.Raw Slaw steps on the baby’s stomach sending a stream of water out it’s mouth. The baby then begins to cough.RAW SLAWSee man I told you.He picks the baby up by the leg and throws it against a backboard into a crib across the room and the guy who was still not moving says “its good”. Raw Slaw then runs over to a cat sitting on the kitchen table and fills the bowl up with milk.RAW SLAWThere you go Mr. Pookie.He pets the cat then turns it upside down and starts rubbing his stomach sending hair flying across the kitchen table. Cole Slaw walks up.COLE SLAWFuck that pussy! Were is the beat machine.INT. --RAW SLAW’S CLOSET-- NIGHTRaw Slaw flips the light switch to his closet exposing a laboratory of mushroom growth.RAW SLAWThis hybrid right here-Raw Slaw Holds up a jar with a giant mushroom in itRAW SLAWHis name is popa top. I had the spores flown in from Hawaii.Raw Slaw hands Cole Slaw a small black piece of electronic equipment that has a few buttons and knobs on it and is mostly covered in cat hair. Cole Slaw takes the beat box and plugs it into the wall outlet. The small device lights up and Cole Slaw stares at it intensely. He then presses two buttons and turns a knob producing a beat that causes Raw Slaw to bob his head. Mean while in Raw Slaw’s living room King Khaos is trying to distance himself from crystol who is seductively staring at him on the couch.CRYSTOLSo How does a stud muffin like you get put in a Psych Ward.Khaos is looking at crystol through the corner of his eye while he is breaking apart a cigar over a plate.KING KHAOSWell I guess it’s cuz some dick head judge thought I was crazy.CRYSTOLHow could anyone get an impression like that from such a sexy pimp like you.A waving mirage consumes the picture as King Khaos goes back in time.INT.-- KING KHAOS’S CRIB --NIGHTKing Khaos sits on a leather couch as Rap music is playing in the background. The room is cloudy due to the weed smoke there are half a dozen pre-rolled blunts on the coffee table along with a hundred pack of ecstasy and a couple of ounces of cocaine. On the couch beside King Khaos topless women are practicing murder on the Play Station 3 game Resistance. King Khaos has on a pair of clean white kicks, Jeans, and a wife beater tank top exposing his punisher tatoo. There is a picture of Jesus on the wall crying. His pistol sits in his lap and his automatic shotgun leans on the couch. The video gaming is disturbed by a knock at the door. The blonde on the couch raises her head up from the table with her nose covered in white powder.BLONDE GIRLThis is some good shit, can I have some more.KING KHAOSYeah whatever, when ya’ll hoes leaving?ASIAN GIRLWhen we get paid and the meter’s running.King Khaos looks at the Asian with pure disgust on his face.KING KHAOSWho was talking to you bitch? Get in the kitchen and make me some pho. I told you hoes we were gonna party at my crib. Now I supplied the party. You think I’m finna pay you to snort, pop, and smoke my shit? Please, fucking boppers.King khaos is so intoxicated he stares the girls down with a cock eye then thrusts his shoulders foward.BLONDE GIRLWell, we thought that was kinda understood.KING KHAOSThe word money never came out of my mutha fuckin mouth. I used to be a pimp. I’m just trying to show ya’ll a good time. I ain’t no punk ass trick from the club bitch. You ain’t nothing but a bopper. That’s why I don’t go the strip no more.LATIN GIRLI thought you was a “King” papi, what happen to that. Sounds like you’re just another broke “Mallate” (nigger in Spanish).Girls laugh and King Khaos also laughs sarcastically with them. Another knock comes from the door.KING KHAOSYa’ll here that shit? Is somebody at the door? (to latina) Say shorty, go see who that is since you got jokes and wanna be paid..LATIN GIRLOk, Papi (sarcastically)The latin girl walks to the door twisting her ass covered by a thin thong and looks through the peep hole on the door.LATIN GIRL (CONT’D)I don’t see nobody.Khaos’s head makes a small twitch and a blank stare comes across his face. The Latin girl turns back to Khaos.LATIN GIRL (CONT’D)Nobody, either you’re hearing things or somebody’s fucking around with you.Khaos pauses the game and begins reaching for his shotgun as the Latin girl starts walking back. Khaos’s back faces the door as he takes a couple more puffs of the blunt and a bump of coke. Boom! A loud shotgun blast erupts as the latina’s right tit is shredded. The Girls scream and start running toward the door as they grab their clothes. The girls are screaming trying to get out but are unable to get all 5 dead bolts going the right way. The apartment is now covered in blood and bodies ravaged by bullet holes. Outside the apartment window sirens sound as cops pull up to Khaos’s crib. Khaos stands, covered in blood and powder burns, still with the blunt in his mouth and coke on his nose he runs out the door and hops in his BMW 525i speeding out of the parking garage of his uptown Dallas Apt. He heads to the trinity river bridge pulling to a stop beside it. He gets out of the BMW and walks to the edge of the bridge and looks down. It looks as if he might jump but, instead drops the weapons over the side gets back into his car and drives off into the sunset.INT. --ECCO LOUNGE-- NIGHTLater that night Khaos is kicking it at his favorite club ecco Lounge sipping on Grey Goose and watching boppers bounce that ass. Khaos does not know that the Feds and undercover cops were in Ecco as well. As he takes a sip of his drink he is bumped on the dance floor.KING KHAOSWhat the fuck?UNDER COVER COPYou got a problem?KING KHAOSYeah mother fucker, you owe me a drink.UNDER COVER COPAnd just who are you?KING KHAOSI’m Khaos bitch, the KingKhaos raises his glass to indicate the drink had spilled on him showing a wet spot on his shirt. Then there is a CLICK sound as the under cover officer puts handcuffs on Khaos’s wrist. Khaos then pulls back as Multiple under-covers put their weapons in Khaos’s face. The people in the club notice and begin to scream and run out as the music stops. All the black and Hispanic people vacate leaving only the white bartenders and off beat white girls dancing with each other despite having no music.KING KHAOS (CONT’D)Ain’t that a bitch.INT. --DALLAS MUNICIPAL COURT-- MORNINGThe outside steps of the Dallas County Courthouse lead to the inside of the courtroom for the preliminary hearing for the murder of the 6 strippers from Jaguar’s. Khaos is dressed in the regular jumpsuit and shackled at the wrists and ankles. The courtroom is empty. Other than courtroom personnel, Khaos and his peon looking public defender the courtroom is completely empty.PUBLIC DEFENDERDon’t you have any friends or family?Khaos looks up as a box appears above his head with a mug shot of one of his friends. That mug shot is then placed in front of an empty chair as more mug shots fill up the empty seats until all seats are covered with mug shot photos and a jail cell door slams over the photos. One of the mug shots enlarges to the size of the screen. The man is skinny and grinning for the picture holding up a number.EXT. --PRISON-- DAYMultiple inmates are in the recreation yard beside a bench press lifting weights. One of the inmates finishes his lift and stands up from the bench then flexes his chest and turns to the other inmatesBUFF PRISONERWhen I get out this ho I’m going to the strip club everyday. I’m going to find a Ho and pimp that bitch.A skinny built prisoner is standing in the circle of larger ones doing curls intensely.SKINNY PRISONERHey man pimping ain’t that easy.The larger prisoner looks down at the skinny one.BUFF PRISONERWhat the fuck do you know about pimping you skinny little bitch.SKINNY PRISONERMy home boy used to pimp.The skinny prisoner drops his dumbbell's as the other prisoners laugh.INT. --DALLAS MUNICIPAL COURT-- MORNINGThe public defender looks at the prosecutors side of the courtroom and then leans towards Khaos’s ear.PUBLIC DEFENDERApparently the strippers didn't have any friends or family either.EXT. --PRISON-- DAYSKINNY PRISONERAbout the 8 strippers’ their only friends were pimps, customers, and other strippers who secretly really don’t like them and just took there customers.INT. --STRIPP CLUB-- NIGHTLoud music plays as fog reflects in the black lights as a young stripper walks across the floor toward an old man.STRIPPERI have photos of us fucking and I’m gonna send them to the papers and your wife’s job if you don’t give me $100,000.JUDGEOk, ok. Give me a couple weeks ok.STRIPPERThat’s what I like to hear.INT. -COURTROOM-- DAYKhaos winks at the prosecution then leans to his attorney and has an evil smileKHAOSWe’re going with insanity, trust me.ATTORNEYWhat? How? What the fuck are you gonna prove that?KHAOSJust watch bitch.BAILIFFAll rise, the honorable Judge Dick Short residing.Chamber door opens and a bald, past his prime Mills Lane look alike emerges and slightly trips as he walks up the step to his seat. Khaos snickers inaudiblyJUDGEThe court calls for the case of the people vs. Khalid Beard for the murder of 8 women in cold blood. How do you plea.Khaos begins to drool on himself and keep one eye closed. He stands with his attorney.ATTORNEYYour honor, my client can’t be tried on the ground that he is (Khaos begins to urinate on himself) well, insane.Khaos slaps himself and then picks his nose and puts the booger on his attorney’s suit.ASSISTANT DAYour honor he’s acting!JUDGEI order the defendant to undergo test to see if he is fit to stand trial.Gavel sounds as Khaos is led off. The Bailiff tries not to even touch him as Khaos farts when he get near.KHAOSBye Bye Judge Short Dick.Door closes behind them as King Khaos finishes his blunt puts it in his mouth and lights it. As the blunt begins to burn Cole Slaw walks in for Raw Slaw’s room with a giant mushroom in one hand and a beat machine in the other.COLE SLAWI smell weed. Let me hit that shit.Velvet J jumps out of the shower runs to the living room naked with his dick tucked between his legs.VELVET JWait a minute mother Fucker I got next.Every one’s face turns to a disgusted look as King Khaos passes the blunt to cole Slaw.KING KHAOSGo get dressed you baby dicked mother Fucker.VELVET JWhy are you looking at my mangina are you gay.KHAOSYou ain't hitting shit till you put some clothes on.Velvet J turns around with his dick and balls still tucked between his legs and walks away.VELVET JI’m going to join a nudist colony and smoke weed everyday and nobody can come over and smoke with me.KING KHAOSOk.Crystol turns and looks at Cole slaw and smiles. Cole Slaw stares directly at her cleft lip and immediately turns away.CRYSTOLSo Cole Slaw, Khaos told me how he ended up in the Psych Ward. What’s your story sexy.Cole Slaw coughs and avoids looking at Crystol and takes another hit holds it in.COLE SLAWWell, were I come from drugs are big and I was the biggest sellar. I sold Everything but, the most popular product I sold was pcp. I was never really in to that sort of thing until one day I just decided to take a taste.INT. -COLE SLAW’S CRIB-- NIGHTCole Slaw stands in the living room in front of a table with a brick of PCP sitting on it. Some of his homies stand around the table dressed in black and wearing gold ropes around their necks. Cole Slaw begins eating a piece of pizza starring at the brick on the table some one’s finger moves toward the brick.COLE SLAWWhat the fuck Ray Ray!Cole Slaw throws the pizza at Ray Ray’s face.COLE SLAWNobody touches my PCP but me.Ray Ray starts to cry.RAY RAYYa, Ya, You don’t even like PCP.COLE SLAWYou shut your little mouth! I love PCP.Cole Slaw moves towards the brick on the table and slowly extends his finger toward the brick and touches the top of it. He then looks at his finger and at the people around him. Slowly he touches his finger to his tongue. His eyes dilate and a bead of sweat runs down his face. Two minutes later Cole Slaw is holding a large foil pipe with a hunk PCP in it. He takes a hit and walks to the table and begins breaking what is left of the brick up and snorting it. Ray Ray walks up to Cole Slaw and puts his hand on his shoulder.RAY RAYHey Cole I know you love PCP but maybe you should save a little.Cole Slaw turns around with glowing red eyes and breathing heavy. He pushes Ray Ray out of the way and runs through the glass door and off the balcony porch. His homies run to the porch and find him on the ground three levels down. In slow motion cole Slaw gets up and runs to the parking lot and begins to pick up cars and move them. Four hours later he is cornered against a brick wall with spot lights on him and he is exchanging words with an officer on a megaphone.COLE SLAWYou will never take me alive!!!!!!!POLICE OFFICERYour rain of terror is over.CoLE SLAWYou don’t know what I am made of!!!!POLICE OFFICERHit him with the bean bags boys.The spot lights shine on him as cops bring him down with bean bags, tranquilizers and a net. Cole Slaw screams in the flashback as well as into the room where he is shaking.INT. --RAW SLAW’S CRIB-- NIGHTCRYSTOLCalm down boo. You are safe for the time being.She tries to hug him and comfort him but he snaps out of his insanity and runs from the beast.VELVET JHEY MAN!!! Keep your arms off my lady!!!COLE SLAWTrust me man. I would NEVER lay a finger on her.CRYSTOLOh baby, you know I am your girl. Any man who has gone through what you have and lived is strong enough to be mine forever. I would never hurt you. You have seen enough violence through those beautiful brown eyes for an entire life time.VELVET JI don’t want to talk about it.CRYSTOLBaby these are your friends they deserve to know.VELVET JIt is not something I like to share with people!!!CRYSTOLBut sweet Pea its part of the healing process just like in that Dr. Phil book.VELVET JFor the last time Dr. Phil is not in this relationship!!! As soon as he starts sucking my cock and helping with the rent he might get a say so but as long as he is just writing books that YOU have to pay for that mutha fucka aint SHIT to me and I am not about to live my life by his books!!!COLE SLAWCould you just get on with it man! Tell the fucking story. People wanna know.VELVET JOkay, Okay man. I am sorry dude. Its just hard.Cole and Khaos give Velvet a hard stare as he tries to pull his shit together and starts the story in a very muffled, near sobbing voice.VELVET JIt, it all started at a very young age......INT. -- VELVET J’S CHILDHOOD HOME -- EVENINGMany screams echo in the next room as a little boy sits down playing a game of battle-ship all by himself. His parents fighting in the next room but the seven year old child plays as if he is oblivious. The child appears normal on the but is clearly deeply disturbed.JACOBE-13 General VelvetThe child runs to the other side of the table and places the peg in his board.VELVET JLooks like you miss again bitch!JACOBAww shucks!! Go ahead pal its your turn.VELVET JNo shit dumbass! That's why I am gonna call F-9 and take out your Main Ship!! And if I calculated correctly that means that all your ships are sunk and I have made you my bitch once again!!!JACOBHow do you always beat me? You must be cheating!!!VELVET JStrong words coming from a little pip-squeek like you!JACOBYou didn't miss a single peg. Not one! I know you have looked at my board!!!Throughout the entire dispute parents scream HORRIBLE threats of violence in the background.VELVET JYou are asking for another beating boy!JACOBI am not afraid of you!Jacob dives into a mirror smashing his face as it starts to bleed the mirror crashed to the floor as the boys thrashes himself about the room knocking over things at random as he struggles with himself. You hear faint footsteps while the Velvet J beats himself. His father burst down the door with anger in his eyes and a bottle of whiskey in his hand. He is a skinny man with a large beer-belly. He is wearing tightie whities and a wife beater with tons of stains on both of them.FATHERWhat the hell is all the racket boy! Can’t you see I am trying to beat your mother! Why you gonna interrupt me boy? Is it cause you too want in on the beating?The child looks around the room and then points to himself sayingJACOBHe did it.The fathers eyes fill with the fire of only that a man with little patience could flame. His child suffers from multiple personalities and due to the fathers wholesome Christian raising he believes he can beat the child into sanity. He picks up the boy covered in blood and flings him over his knee and spanks his with his open palm.FATHERThis is whats best for you boy! I’m gonna beat the devil out of ya. Spare the rod spoil the child. The power of Christ compels you. This is what my pa did for me and look at how good I turned out! Don’t you wanna be normal like your pa.......The child is clearly much bigger than the father and easily slips from his reach. He then runs into the bath room and locks the door behind him. The father yells many obscenities at the boy through to door but its slowly fades out as the camera focuses on Velvet J on the toilet crying. His sobs transcend back into Raw Slaw’s Apartment where Crstyol is petting Velvet J.KHAOSNow, I have heard some shit in my time but that could make even the coldest gangster shed a tear!COLE SLAWYou got that right.... That was so fucked up...Cole slaw is snickering Khaos hits Cole in the stomachCOLE SLAWI mean, that was really sad man. I feel for you bro.....The entire room is full of silence and every one is gloomy eyed. Raw Slaw stands up abruptly and looks at everyone in the room seriously.RAW SLAWWeren't you guys supposed to be getting Raw?The team of mismatched fugitives look at each other with determination and nod there heads.KING KHAOSIts time to make some music guys!EXT. --PARKING LOT-- NIGHTA honda accord peels out into the night. The car is driving down a stretch of road for quite sometime and everyone in the car is silent. They drive for a moment in the darkness when Cole Slaw grabs his crotch and moans.COLE SLAWI got to piss.The 3 agree to pull over at a gas station that is ahead of them.EXT. --GAS STATION-- NIGHTOnce at the gas station Cole goes straight to the toilet but in his rushed state of mind he failed to notice that he entered the women’s restroom. As Kahos and velvet wait for the car to fill up with gas. Cole Slaw is urinating all over the toilet seat as he gets excited with the PSP game he is playing. In the stall beside him he hears a moan. The moan intensifies and grows louder. Cole Slaw stops playing the game and starts to look over at the stall beside him. As he finishes his tinkle he walks over the stall and listens as the moan starts to turn into a scream the a loud awkward fart. The fart sound grows into a spraying splashing sound then back into a fart. There is a slight pause. A womanish voice resinates from the stall beside Cole Slaw. A surprised look then comes across his face. He bends over and looks at a pair of pumps and fishnet stockings.SHITTNG WOMANWhat the Fuck?! Shit! Excuse me, do you have any toilet paper I have seem to run out.Cole Slaw looks impressed by the ladies voice and rips the roll off the wall and hands it to her from under the stallSHITTNG WOMANThank you you’re a life saver.Clearing his throat He then replies in a womanish voiceCOLE SLAWNo problem.The woman then flushes and opens the stall doors. Cole Slaw stands on the toilet as the woman stops half way out and looks under the stall. She washes her hands and checks her makeup then looks under the stall one more time and a quizzical look comes across her face as once again she sees no legs. As the door closes Cole Slaw starts to step down then slips in his urine and falls back against the door causing it to fly open as Cole Slaw slams into a wall. The gas pump clicks off as Velvet and cleans the back window to the car. King Chaos drops his jaw as the woman from the rest room comes out of the gas station.KING KHAOSDamn baby you working hard to impress me with that walk.Velvet J stops and gazes at the woman as she gets into her car and drives off. Cole Slaw then comes running out of the gas station.COLE SLAWWait!He runs up to Khaos and grabs him on the shoulder.COLE SLAWDid you see her? We have to go get her.KING KHAOSWhoa! Chill mother Fucker.Khaos begins to shake Cole Slaw.COLE SLAWNo! You don’t understand she has the sexiest voice in the world I must have her on my album.Velvet J puts the nozzle to the gas pump up and opens the door to the Honda.VELVET JWell lets go get her.The three of them jump in the car and peel after the woman.VELVET JDamn I wish my radio wasn't jacked it’s the perfect time for a jam.Khaos stares at a hole in the dash were a radio once was.COLE SLAWHave no fear the beat master is here.Cole Slaw pulls out the beat machine and begins to twist it’s Knobs and push it’s buttons to produce the most gangster beat ever. The three begin bobbing there heads to he beat.VELVET JHold up about to freestyle kick it up a hundred miles an hourVelvet J then looks around the car as is if puzzled about what to say nextVELVET JMaybe we can stop for some sweet and sour.He pauses for a second and looks around again and noticed Khaos and cole Slaw have stopped bobbing their headsVELVET JChicken cause I’m gettin all kinds of hungry.KING KHAOSWhy don't you just sit this one out.VELVET JYeah, I really wasn't feeling that one either.The woman in the car pulls up to the gates of a large house. The Gates then open and Velvet J follows her in. Pulled up in front of the house are many luxury cars. Velvet J squeals to a stop beside the lady they had been following.COLE SLAWYo! Yo! Baby! How would you like to sing for our rap label.SHITTNG WOMANI’m sorry I can’t sing.COLE SLAWYou don’t have to.The woman looks at Cole Slaw like she doesn't understand a word he’s saying.COLE SLAWJust make that sexy moan you were doing earlier.At first she doesn’t understand what Cole Slaw is talking about then she sneezes. Cole Slaw pulls out some tissue from his pocket and as she reaches for it their eyes meet and a toilet in the distance flushes as they exchange sexual glares.SHITTNG WOMANWhat's the name of your band?Cole Slaw looks at Velvet and Velvet looks at King Khaos who the clears his throat and responds in a low gruff voice.KING KHAOSThe Psych Ward!VELVET JYeah, you know? Aint you heard us on the radio be-fo?COLE SLAWWe need a female vocalist! I insist you come with us!Cole Slaw then brings a gun into view and aims it at the women’s chest. A puzzled and surprised look comes across the face of velvet and khaos.SHITTNG WOMANAre you guys serious? Put that gun down!!!!! Did you guys say you were rappers?THE PSYCH WARDYES!!!SHITTNG WOMANYou guys dont need a gun or nothing to make me come with you! I am a complete slut! I have been in this business before!! You remeber that song “whoop der it is”? Well, they rain a train on me in the early 90s. That was the just the start. But any ways. I’ll sing and suck your dicks! Lets Role!!!The Psych Ward look at each other and with out speaking motion the girl to the vehicle and hit the road again. At this point there is a montage of all 3 members of the ward servicing and getting serviced by the shitting women. It is graphic as fuck but done in shadows. Once on the road and running from the law the psych ward decide to get jobs to make some money for the time being. Velvet J and Cole try to become camp counselors and fail after singing a song about some wild ass shit to the kids. Khaos said all he was gonna do is sell coke. In the end Cole and J fail but are surprised that Khaos has made enough money selling coke to continue (I got That) With enough cash to live on for a while we commence a writing session for the album. We decide to go to a local music store and purchase some recording equiptment. As it shows up to a quitar-centeresque store it cuts to inside where a boss is chewing out his employee.INT. -CABIN-- NIGHTVelvet J is at his summer gig as a counselor. He opens the cabin door and hears wall to wall screams. He flips the light on and twelve 10-12 year old boys fly across the bunk beds to pretend as if they had been fast asleep.VELVET JI thought I told you guys to go to bed.Velvet J exhales then hears a whimper coming from the bunk bed in the far right corner of the cabin.VELVET JAlright guys what did you do to Joey.CHUCKWe didn't do shit! Joey is just being a little bitch.VELVET JHey you watch your mouth Chance. That is a demerit.Velvet J approaches Joey and touches his shoulder. Just then Joey turns around and squirts the cabin counselor in the face with water. The cabin erupts in laughter.VELVET JO.K. What is it going to take to get you guys asleep.CHUCKTell us a ghost storyThe others in the cabin chime in “yeah ghost story.”VELVET JI’m not aloud to tell ghost stories you know that.JOEYWe aren't going to rat you out.The other kids chime in “Yeah”VELVET JMaybe just one.The kids begin to cheer.VELVET JOnly if you promise to not say a word as I am telling the story and after I’m done. You have to go to sleep.The kids in unison ‘Yeah we promise.” The lights are flipped out as velvet j holds a mag light up to his face.VELVET JBack when I was just a boy about the age yall are My grandfather would take me deer hunting.Ten minutes has passed the kids look intensely at velvet J waiting for him to finish what he was saying.VELVET JSo after my grandfather killed the wild homeless person by cutting him taint to throat he gave the knife to me and said..KIDWhat’s a taint?Velvet J points the flashlight into the bunksVELVET JI thought I said no talking.CHUCKIt is the space between your balls and your asshole. You know the one you never wipe.The kids bust out into luaghter.VELVET JI guess you don’t want me to finish.The kids Moan and complain.KIDSFinish!VELVET JSo he hands me the knife and says the words..INT. -CAMP DIRECTOR’S OFFICE-- MORNINGCAMP DIRECTORVelvet J please come in and have a seat. I understand you told ghost story last night.VELVET JIt didn't have any ghosts in it and it wasn't scary. It is just some lame old story my Grandfather told me.CAMP DIRECTORYou can rest assure it was’nt lame the kids have been going around all morning talking about it.VELVET JI really didn't think it was that good.The camp director looks down at his desk and sighs.CAMP DIRECTORDid you happen to mention anything to the kids about...The camp director acts embarrassed as he point down at his crotch.VELVET JWhat? Your dickCAMP DIRECTORNo!VELVET JYour balls your asshole! What man?CAMP DIRECTORIt starts with a t.VELVET JTaint.Camp director nods.VELVET JWhat’s wrong with the taint?The camp directors gasps.CAMP DIRECTORYou will watch your mouth here. This is a Christian camp you son of a bitch.VELVET JIt’s not a genital or even a curse word. It’s just a strip of skin. I did’nt even tell them about it. Chuck was the one who knew what it was. He told the cabin.CAMP DIRECTORJust when I think I can trust a person. Don’t blame pure innocent children for your filthy mouth you sorry sac of shit. Look some of these kids probably know everything there is about sex including; oral, anal, masturbation (in low voice) vaginal but, I’ll be goddamned if I hear innocent children mumbling the word taint. Pack your shit you are going home.A shocked look runs across velvet J’s face.VELVET JSir, I have to perform at the talent show tonight. The children are in my act and will be lost without me.CAMP DIRECTORDid you not hear me? You are fucking fired.Velvet J turns and walks away. He opens the cabin door and there is another counselor in there talking to the children. As Velvet J opens the door the faces of the children light up. Velvet J hangs his head as he walks into the cabin.CHUCKWhat’s wrong?Velvet J looks at the other counselor then at the child.VELVET JI got fired.CHUCKWhat the fuck? That’s bullshit. So that means you are not our counselor anymore.JOEYThey can’t.VELVET JThey can and they did. I’ll be seeing you guys.Velvet J grabs his bags and heads out the door. Joey runs out to catch up with Velvet J as the other counselor screams.COUNSELORYou can’t leave your bunk during nap time.Joey runs up and hugs Velvet J.VELVET JIt’s cool little buddy just hear the music in your head and you will be fine.EXT. -CAMP CHICKINAWA TALENT SHOW-- NIGHTThe children are all are all sitting with their respective cabins watching the talent show take place on the stage in front of them. Joey then spots velvet J motioning for him to get the other children and follow Joey whispers and the word is passed down the line. Just then the talent show music is interrupted.VELVET JThis is the part of the show were I would normally perform. Well this year I was told I can’t so I’m going to do my kind of music with help from I boy’s cabin 9.Hardcore rap music begins to play as Velvetj walks out onto the stage.VELVETJHell mutha fukin yeah. I gots summin to say...Day dreaming velvetj stands in a guitar center with the other two rappers.INT. -GUITAR CENTER STORE-- DAYBOSSNow Darrell, I don’t know what is going on with you these days but your numbers are PATHETIC.DARRELLYeah......BOSSYou can’t just sit around day-dreaming and watch soaps!! I know you are pretty upset about your wife leaving you and your little daughter not actually being yours but we have a business to run you hear?DARRELLLosing them? What do you mean. They moved in next door! She wasnt little either okay?!!?? She was 17 for God’s sake and my wife didnt just leave me. She was having an affair with my best friend/neighbor since I was a kid!!!!! I have nothing in this world. Can’t you see that?BOSSWRONG. At this point you still have a job but if you keep this crap up THEN you will have nothing. I won’t have this, not today, we have a very important shipment coming in and I need you to be in top form and sell as much of this old junk that you can. Once people get a load of all things these new home studios we are getting in can do NO ONE will want any of the old ones.DARRELLEh...BOSSIn other words prices are gonna drop and I AM NOT GONNA LOSE MONEY BECAUSE YOU ARE A HALF-WIT. The old Darrell could sell a lit fire-cracker to a hand model and I dont care what it takes but you need bring him back from the dead!!!!!!!!! (Darrell, looks uninspired)DARRELLIts just, I lost all my confidence when I lost them. I feel so hollow inside now, like a bird soaring through the air but actually just crashing because I am dead inside. You know what I mean?BOSSI have no idea. Look man, all you have to do is find some poor schmucks with a lot of money and convince them that this unit is not a piece of shit!!!Door bell rings and the Psych Ward enter.KHAOSCan you direct us to the man here who knows the most about home recording?BOSSWell, what do you know Darrell? Its as if they asked for you by name. Boys i’d like to meet Darrell Johnson. This man has helped out recording albums with some of the biggest names in the business. He even helped engineer a number 1 single back in 96. You boys ever hear of Skeelo?THE PSYCH WARDNo. (Shakes heads)BOSSWell, thats not really important. Just know that anything thing you need to know Darrell is your GO-TO guy! Anyways, I am CERTAIN he will help you find exactly what you need!! Isnt that right Darrell???DARRELLAbsolutly, sir...... Absolutly.BOSSI have got some business to attend to. You boys are in good hands. (whispers to Darrell) If you can’t make this sale then you might as well follow them out the door when they leave. Ta Ta fellows!!! Happy Shopping.EXT. --PSYCH WARD-- NIGHTThe cameras flash as a tall dark haired neatly trimmed with slicked back hair approaches a sea of microphones and reporters.REPORTER 1Agent Swallows, what are your reasons for taking over in such a small time crime? Are the inmates who escaped more dangerous than previously reported?SWALLOWSThis situation is now in the hands of trained professionals.REPORTER 2Do you have any leads in the where-abouts of the inmates?SWALLOWSAny information given to the press at this time could help aide the inmates in further evading apprehension. Just know that you are dealing with professionals. Next question.REPORTER 3What about the local families that live by the Psych Ward? Shouldn't they know what the inmates look like?Reporter three looks at reporter four with a perplexed expression.REPORTER 4What is it that makes you a professional?Agent Chance walks in front of the reporters and waves his hands shooing them away.CHANCEI’ll let you know right now mam, this man has a degree that’s a better half of a year and a half at the police academy in White House Texas. It’s were diamonds are cut and leaders shaped...Swallows after resting against the wall with his ass pushed out towards the reporters turns around combs his hair back then wipes his brow with a personalized handkerchief.into a crime solver slash good samaritan likely to house abused children in foster care.SWALLOWSThat’s not why I do it. It’s not about my community hours at the nursing home or the baby flying squirrel in nursed back to health with my tender love and care.CHANCEWhen we gather all accurate information a bulletin will be posted.Swallows steps forward pointing his finger out into the woods.SWALLOWSI’ll tell you this. We are dealing with men that listen to gangster rap and “freestlye.” Based on that fact alone you can atomatically asume they do drugs, beat women, and drive flashy cars. I know these things because I am part of madder. Mothers against drunk driving and evil rappers. Thats pretty much all of them except ICP, they are a bunch of posers.SWALLOWSForest, get these reporters out of here. We got work to do.Chance nods and then walks in front of the reporters with yellow police tape.CHANCEI’m going to need you to step back you are contaminating a crime scene. Anyone crossing this tape is subject to felony charges. Good night folks. Let us do our job.Int --Raw Slaw’s House/Apt.-- DayRAW SLAWWe got a code RED people. Two cars outside with government plates. They went to the neighbors now they are coming here!!! Its a raid folks, I knew this day was coming. Now lets EVACUATE!!!!!!!COLEAnd how do you know all this man? It isnt another one of your visions is it? Last time you did this we bailed for NOTHING and burn up a lot of good shit!!!VELVET JSeriously man, quit playing around. You are so fucking with my trip!KHAOSCome on man, we are tripping balls. We don’t need this.RAW SLAWLook man, I dont need this either man but take a look at his surveilance camera footage. You cant grow like I do and not be prepared.On the camera two men walk calmly to the door and knock two times.RAW SLAWThis isnt a drill people, its the real thing!!!!!!! NOW GO to the bunker and carry what you can!!!! I got the rest....... May heaven, help us all.Ext --Outside Raw Slaw’s Apt--CHANCEDo you really think this lead can amount to anything? I mean, they abandoned the car around here. I seriously doubt the stuck around.SWALLOWSWatch and learn rookie. No lead is not worth following. Its like I always say “Swallows follows leads”.The front door cracks open and a small firework tank rolls out and begins to spit small sparks from it’s cannon. The door the swings all the way open as Raw Slaw jumps out with a roman candle as a one hundred pack of black cats go off by the door step. Agent Swallows close lines Raw Slaw as he is running away knocking him to the ground. Chance then begins to open fire on the tank causing it to spin around and shoot sparks into Raw Slaws apartment.SWALLOWSHold your fire!Swallows leans down and drools onto Raw Slaws face.SWALLOWSWhere are they?RAW SLAWI don’t know who your talking about.SWALLOWSYou Lying hippie.CHANCESwallows!SWALLOWSWhat?CHANCEThe apartment its on fire.Agent swallows takes out his radio and holds it up to his mouth.SWALLOWSThis is agent swallows to mother goose we are going to need back up.Sirens whale as fire fighters shoot water into a chard apartment. Swallows is standing beside chance wiping the sweat off his face.SWALLOWSThat was close.CHANCEDo you think he knows anything?SWALLOWSHe knows something. What he knows he doesn’t know I’m about to find out.Swallows slaps the roof of the cop car Raw Slaw is in and leans into the driver side window.SWALLOWSTake him downtown and book him.INT. -TUNNEL UNDER RAW SLAW’S-- NIGHTVELVET JSo do you have any idea where this leads?COLE SLAWNo idea.KHAOSWell atleast we got away from the cops.SHITTNG WOMANGuys, its been a lot of fun these last few days but I really should be getting home to my husband.ALLHUSBAND?KHAOSYeah, that figures.COLE SLAWSo thats what the ring is.VELVET JDAMN, I just now noticed. Thats a big ass ROCK. What exactly does your man do to afford something like that?SHITTNG WOMANWell, he has quite a few business endeavors but his main focus is being the CEO of Life-Sentance Records.COLE SLAWWait, are you telling me that you are married to Herbert Von Weinberg the richest Jew in the history or Gangster rap since Matisyahou?KHAOSLook baby, if you are married to this Weinberg guy then you sure as hell should have said something before now. You know we are asspiring young rappers.SHITTNG WOMANI am sorry guys. Everything has just been happening so fast.....The shitting women burst into tears and then makes the already bad situation worse like only a women can do.COLE SLAWMan... Is it just me or is it kind of hard to breathe down here.VELVET JYeah, I wonder how much oxygen we have down here.Khaos pulls out a blunt and lights it.KHAOSI know what you mean we need to just focus on moving foward.Khaos picks up the pace as Cole slaw runs up behind him.COLE SLAWSay, pass that shit chief.VELVET JYeah can you just pass that back here.Two hours later the four are sitting on the tunnel floor around a pile of blunt roaches.COLE SLAWReally time travel is possible you just have to find a worm hole because travelling the speed of light is impossible to do otherwise.VELVET JI know man, it is called Kwanza physics.KING KHAOSKwanza physics? You mean Quantum Physics! Kwanza is a holiday dumbass!VELVET JMan, that shows how stupid you is. It aint Quantum Physics, its Quantum Leap and that was just a show. They still show re-runs on USA late night.KING KHAOSBitch you are STUPID. Lets just leave it at that.VELVET JI know you just didnt call me stupid bitch. You are stupid. Lets just leave it at that.KING KHAOSMutha Fucka you just retorted by rewording my previous response. I aint stupid bitch I got my degree at Cedar Valley College. I graduated with a 2.3 GPA. I know you aint got shit on that.VELVET JCollege? Isnt that some kind of Adult Special Ed program? You think I cant top that? What if I told you that I scored in the top %80 of my G.E.D. class.KING KHAOSThis is no longer a fight I wish to have.VELVET JHA! I knew you couldnt hang with JAY VELEVET!KING KHAOSKeep telling yourself that man, do whatever it takes.There is a weird awkward silence amongest everyone as the hostility dies down. Cole Slaw decides to break the weird silence with a poot that makes everyone laugh.VELVET JDamn dude, we are high as fuck. I mean, with all the weed smoke in here and hardly no oxygen everything around me is so-real.KING KHAOSYou mean surreal?VELVET JOh yeah, Surreal!!!Cole SLAWYeah man, I am pretty damn High too.SHITTNG WOMANMe too, hehehehe..........VELVET JMan, sometimes, in my life its like... its like i am in a movie. Like everything that happens is so wild and insane that it could only be a part of some elaborate script. Its like I am not even real man.....Some times I think I am not even real.COLE SLAWDude, you I can assure that you are real.KING KHAOSYeah man. Your just high, dont worry about it.VELVET JNo man, I really believe that I don’t exist.COLE SLAWHey man listen. I know a way to prove to you that are real.VELVET JYou do?COLE SLAWYeah man. Come here.Cole Slaw then slaps the shit out of Velvet J with the backside.COLE SLAWYeah, bitch. Are you real now!Everyone besides Velvet J laughs and an additional laugh that is incredibly loud and high pitched is heard in the background. Everyone notices the laugh and quits laughing while the high pitched one continues.OLD BALLSHehehehehehahuuuhhheeehhhaaaaaarrrrIn the distance a light is seen and an odd looking man holding a lantern slowly appears all while laughing and wheezing non-stop.COLE SLAWLook over there. Someone is coming.KING KHAOSMaybe he knows tha way out of here.OLD BALLS-SLAWHey there strangers. I thought I smelt dank. You must be friends of my boy Raw. He is always smoking that shit.KING KHAOSWhat the hell are you!OLD BALLS-SLAWHey there brother man, calm down I am on your side. That name is Balls, Old Balls. I am guessing that Raw Slaw’s place got busted by the cops since you fellows are down here.ALLYeah..OLD BALLS-SLAWWe can only pray that he made it out alive. I know he is a big-boy and can handle himself but years of doing mushrooms so hardcore has taken a toal on his brain. He often makes plans that in his mind fool proof but in reality they actually are just plain stupid.COLE SLAWIf you are Raw Slaw’s dad then does that make you my uncle?OLD BALLS-SLAWI was wondering when you were gonna catch on to that Cole.The others look at the old man and then at Cole with complete disgust over the fact that Cole is somehow blood related to this undesirable human being.COLE SLAWWell.....Uncle Old Balls its great to finally meet. I hate to be in such a rush but Raw said that in this tunnel we would find help. Can you help us out.OLD BALLS-SLAWOf course I can help you out Cole but first you get your ass over here and give your Uncle Old Balls a hug. (Old Balls Motions to Coal to come to him)At this point Old Balls has moved much closer to the rest of the group and when he places his lantern on the ground the light reveals a man that time has not been kind to. He is wearing a long, brown robe that has a hood and underneath the robe he is wearing nothing except an adult diaper. He has an enormous nose, greyish balding hair and most importantly his balls are hanging out of the diaper and hang much lower than the balls of a normal person.COLE SLAWDo you think that you could perhaps tuck those balls of yours away and maybe we could work something out with that hug.OLD BALLS-SLAWYou mean these balls?Old balls pulls the lantern to his balls as everyone gasp in horror.OLD BALLS-SLAWEhehehe.... Sure thing Cole. I am just down here alone so much I sometimes forget that I am exposing myself when others are around. I have a condition you know but that a whole nother story. Lets go back to my place and form a plan to get you boys where you need to go. Come on!INT. AN INTERIGATION ROOM--NIGHTAgent swallows opens the door and walks into a room with large mirror covering the front of the back wall. Raw Slaw is dripping wet with sweat sitting in front of a table with handcuffs on.RAW SLAWDo you have the heat on here or is it just me.Agent swallows pulls out a chair and begins to sit down.SWALLOWSYou shut your piece of shit fucking face. You fucking hippie. Now I know you know what I think you know.RAW SLAWWhat are you talking about?SWALLOWSCole Slaw, Khaos and velvet J, where are they?RAW SLAWI don’t know what your talking about I want to see my lawyer.SWALLOWSYou don’t get a lawyer bitch this america and we are the FBI we can do whatever the fuck we want. Thanks to the patriot act.Agent swallows turns to the mirror and reaffirms with a nod to Agent chance.SWALLOWSI can however get you a...There is a knocking on the door agent swallows walks over to the door and opens it.CHANCEHere is the water you requested.Chance hands the water to Raw Slaw.SWALLOWSNot yet.RAW SLAWPlease I’m dieing of thirst.CHANCEHe’s no good if he can’t speak. He’s got cotton mouth for god’s sake man he’s been smoking alot of weed.Agent swallows gets closer to raw Slaw and begins to scratch his genitals as he luaghs.SWALLOWSThat water is nice and cold real refreshing.Raw slaw finishes the cup and sets it on the table.SWALLOWSThe water was a little bit colder five minutes ago when I finished my piss and shook my dick off in it.Rwa Slaw begins to gag.SWALLOWSWait that's not all boy. After that I drops my balls in for a cold afternoon swim.A loud wrong answer sound goes off as Raw Slaw looks at a pubic hair on the edge of the cup. Raw Slaw begins to jump up and scream as he hits the mirrored wall.RAW SLAWThis is insane I want out of here now! You guys are animals.SWALLOWSNobody hears your screams. Restrain him.Chance pulls Raw Slaw back in the chair.SWALLOWSWe know about your father he’s been on America’s top 100 most wanted for the past 10 years for; tax evasion, spousal abuse, public nudity, jay walking repeatedly the list goes on but you would know better than me what a piece of shit your father is. I also know it runs in the family.RAW SLAWListen I’m not my father O. K.SWALLOWSYou attacked a federal agent on a routine check.CHANCEWhy did you attack us sir?SWALLOWSCome clean and spill the beans.RAW SLAWI don’t know anything about the Psych Ward.INT. -FBI HEADQUARTERS-- DAYAgent swallows turns the rewind knob to play back the video of the interrogation.SWALLOWSDo you see that chance? I never said anything about a cyborg.CHANCEHe is probably just high on so many drugs sir.SWALLOWSI don’t fully believe him something just doesn't add up right.INT. -TUNNEL UNDER RAW SLAW’S-- NIGHTThe group continue walking down the dark tunnel with Old Ball’s whistling poorly. Old Balls stops whistling stops whistling for a moment and looks at back at the group.OLD BALLS-SLAWWe are almost there everyone.ColE SLAWThank god, I am tired.OLD BALLS-SLAWI know you boys are tired and probably need a place to relax. You can stay with me for as long as you like. I LOVE COMPaNY.KING KHAOSI really just have plans to keep moving if you know what I mean. I appreciate your help and all but we gotta get out of here so that we can make some noise.OLD BALLS-SLAWMake some noise? Are you talking about making music? Cause I love music. Its a part of my soul.COLE SLAWThis is your house?OLD BALLS-SLAWIt sure is. Come on in.(Insert Song)The inside of the house is really similar to the inside of an iguana tank. There is a large light in the middle of the room shining down on a rock. Beside the light is a large water dropper that resembles one maybe seen in a Hampstead During the course of the song Khaos changes from confusion to wanting to get the fuck out of there. He finally decides he has to leave and burst out the door. Cole Slaw takes note and follows while signaling to the others that he has got it.COLE SLAWWhere are you going dude.KING KHAOSThis dude is fucking with my head man.Khaos turns around to face Cole Slaw.KHAOSDude, his balls...His balls look like...His balls just fucking scare me.Cole Slaw, grabbing Khaos by the shoulders.COLE SLAWI know old Balls seems a little weird but, we need his help.KING KHAOSAre sure we need this mother fuckers help because I think we need to leave.COLE SLAWHe’s not going to hurt us but, he will show us the way out and he’s harmless.Velvet J walks out of old balls house with a coke in his hands.VELVET JOld Balls wants to know if you want a coke. This guys pretty cool.Velvet J chugs on his coke and burps then walks back into old balls’ place.COLE SLAWVelvet J is cool with it.KING KHAOSOk. I just don’t know How long I will last.COLE SLAWLook, I know this Old Balls character is a little....uhhhh........different.KING KHAOSA little different? His balls look like, his balls look like, I don’t even know what his balls look like. They look like some weird ass balls is all I know and I really just don’t like knowing what some Old Dudes balls look like.COLE SLAWSo if we make him make sure his balls are kept up are you coming back in?KING KHAOSWhat about all that other shit. The singing shit.COLE SLAWI don’t really know either man. I’ve only been here just as long as you have. I just know that I want to get out of here and I want to get out of here soon and I don’t care whose balls I have to look at in the process!!! Are you with me?KING KHAOSYeah... I guess I have no other choice.COLE SLAWCool man, lets go back in there and just pretend this never happened.KING KHAOSAight.The two return into Old Ball’s home to see Velvet J and the shitting women sitting down conversing with Old Balls.VELVET JSo man, if you don’t mind me asking, why do they call you Old Balls?Everyone in the room looks at Velvet J like he is a moron for asking such a question since the answer is so obvious. Old Balls does not take offense he in fact seems delighted to answer the question.OLD BALLS-SLAWWell I thought you would never ask.........Khaos roles his eyes at Velvet as Old Balls proceeds to go on a tangent about his name.OLD BALLS-SLAWWell you see, when I was a kid I was a bit of a Daredevil. I was known for doing all sorts of crazy things. People really thought I was wild and most everything I did took some pretty big balls so after a while folks just started calling me Balls.SHITTNG WOMANEwwwwwwww......OLD BALLS-SLAWEw? I don’t see much thats gross about having a huge pair of juevos little lady! Back in the day these balls brought me more pussy than James Dean Woman! Ehehehehee....KING KHAOSPlease treat the lady with respect Balls.OLD BALLS-SLAWI’m sorry there buddy, I am not trying to be stepping on any bodies toes. These quarters are too tight for a tustle......Now where was I?VELVET JYou were telling us how people used to call you just Balls.OLD BALLS-SLAWOh yeah, thats right. Well I was so amazing and brave that people just started calling me Balls.........Old Balls then smiles at everyone around and there is a brief pause.COLE SLAWAnd?OLD BALLS-SLAWAnd what?COLE SLAWWell, what he asked was why do people call you Old Balls and you told us why they called you Balls.Khaos sits in complete disbelief that this conversation is happing and that his two friends are actually extending it intentionaly.VELVET JYeah, I wanted to know about your name now, not the one you used back in the day.OLD BALLS-SLAWOHHHH, well why didnt you say so? Well like I was saying earlier.....As Old Balls tells the story of the evolution of his name it is visualized through a montage/flashback.OLD BALLS-SLAW (CONT’D)Pretty soon after getting the name Balls I decided that being called Balls was not enough. I went to great links to improve the appearance of my actual Balls. Before I knew it I was doing Balls-squats every day until my Balls were in perfect physical shape. I even went so far as to inject juice right into my go-nads just to make them bigger and stronger.KHAOSThat is absurd. How the hell does one do Ball-squats and why would you inject steroids intro them? Your Balls do not have a muscle mass to incress.At that point Old Balls begins to strain out of control as slowly one of his balls rises into the air. Everyone looks in amazement/disgust and as soon as he is sure that everyone saw Old Balls drops it back into place and gasp to catch his breath. The crowd is speechless.OLD BALLS-SLAWYou see? Now can I tell the rest of the story.VELVET JWe are listening man! I am all ears. Isn't Old Balls the greatest guys?The others stare with complete discontent.OLD BALLS-SLAWOnce I got real ripped in the Testis people started calling me Strong Balls but it wasn't long until the usage took a tole on me. I juiced so often that I was having crazy mood swings all the time and also the weight of my own nuts began to stretch my sack.VELVET JDid it increase your Ball ageing process and that's why they call you Old Balls?OLD BALLS-SLAWIt sure did. I was an anomaly of science. Previously they had never seen a scrotum grow longer than 1 inch in a year but mine grew 7 times that amount!ALLWow.Some are more amused than others.OLD BALLS-SLAWAlthough I kept up to my usual feats of whackyness the additional amount of sagging flesh between my legs made the folks start calling me Long Balls.COLE SLAWWell thats not too bad.OLD BALLS-SLAWAre you kidding me? Imagine working your whole life to living up to the name BIG BALLS and all of a sudden you are stuck with the name long balls!!!???!! It truly sent me into a downward spiral.VELVET JThats terrible. I feel your pain man.OLD BALLS-SLAWYou have no idea my pain!!!! You could never imagine what it is like to have your name drug through the dirt while you sit and watch your own balls slap your knee-caps!!VELVET JYou are right man. I have no idea what you have felt! NO IDEA!Cole Slaw is clearly irritated interjects.COLE SLAWYou were telling us why you are called Old Balls.OLD BALLS-SLAWOh, well.. I basically lost my mind and turned to a life of crime and often used my freakish balls to intimadate numerous people.SHITTNG WOMANOMG. I so think I saw your E-Hollywood story!OLD BALLS-SLAWYou sure did. I made national news.COLE SLAWOLD BALLS!!!OLD BALLS-SLAWOh yeah, well, my crimes were so severe and I was on the run so rather than go to jail I came here: to the underground tunnel of criminals!KHAOSYou mean we are in “The” Secret Underground Tunnel of Criminals. I thought this place was a myth.OLD BALLS-SLAWOh, its no myth. Its a living breathing truth. Well, it is a truth.KHAOSSo if it really is the underground tunnel then where are the other criminals?OLD BALLS-SLAWOh, they live all up and down this tunnel. This place is a secret underground tunnel afterall, they dont exactly have door-mats and mail boxes.KHAOSI think you are full of shit. NO HARDCORE, BADASS CRIMINAL would live down here in this shit! They would rather rot in jail. I wanna meet some of these “neighbors” of yours real soon buddy.OLD BALLS-SLAWWell, calm down buddy, we can go meet a neighbor after sun up.KHAOSSun up? This is an underground tunnel. I havent seen the sun in days and from the looks of things you have not in years!!!!!!! No more bullshit, I want to meet one of your neighbors now!!!!!!!At that point Khaos snaps and pulls out a gun. He points the gun at Old Balls and awaits his demands. Before he can say much there is a knock on the front door.OLD BALLS-SLAWWell, its looks like one of my neighbors is here right now.KHAOSHow convenient. Open the door and do it slowly.OLD BALLS-SLAWYou really are a paranoid fellow you know that?Old Balls opens the door and welcomes his two only friends in the world into his home for their ritualistic, sunday night, domino game and Cheep Vodka chugging contest.Once Khaos sees that the other two men are clearly fellow underworlders he puts his gun back into place and finds a small bit of piece in his surroundings.KING KHAOSSo now I guess I’m in company with some gangsta thug ass ware type niggas. Niggas on the run. So you guys know what it is like to be a criminal somebody hiding from the fat white pig known as the man.The two criminal friends of old balls stare at khaos with vodka in their hands.KING KHAOSSo you guys probally know what it’s like to have to hurt somebody. Have to kill somebody.King Khaos gives a insane stare slash grin while holding a forty five caliber hand gun beside his face.CRIMINAL GUEST 1Yeah I killed somebody!Everyone in the room look at the overweight bearded brute of a man. If you put bear paws on him he’d just about scare every tourist in Yellowstone. He is what some gay men refer to as a “bear”. A “bear” is a slightly over the age flaming homosexual man that purposely doesn't bathe. As he looks at Khaos with a wanting eye he begins to put on lip fusion.CRIMINAL GUEST 1I killed my sister.A freaked out scared perplexed look came across Khaos to the point he looks down at the ground and begins to cringe.CRIMINAL GUEST 1My baby sister was killed by me. She was just a victim in my negative game called life. All she wanted to do was help me out with a knew move that rick flare was going to do on Monday night raw. That is WWC new world order incase you didn't know.KHAOSI watched raw. I am raw. Let me guess the steel Venus off the rope.CRIMINAL GUEST 1No. The house by the cliff with nothing to cushion the blow.Khaos sits still with no expression on his face.CRIMINAL GUEST 2But don’t you guys worry. He is reformed now. He is just one big, bundle of love.VELVET JOh yeah, I heard about that shit a while back. I saw the video on youtube. That was raw. REAL RAW!!!COLE SLAWYeah man, me too. I remember when the cops took it down too. They said it was too graphic or some shit. But just one question man.CRIMINAL GUEST 1Shoot.COLE SLAWDidnt you used to be really ripped and completely waxed? What happened to you?The second guest looks at Cole with a glare because he is insulted by what Cole just said about his man. Guest one takes the blow and pretends as though he was not bothered.CRIMINAL GUEST 1Well, when I ran from the cops I just fled down here immediately.CRIMINAL GUEST 2Your still sexy boo.CRIMINAL GUEST 1Living down here eating _____ all the time, never exercising and no sun light has taken a tole on my body.Khaos snickers in the background.KHAOSIt took a tole all right. You look like Larry the Cable Guy but worse.CRIMINAL GUEST 2Old Slaw, who are these wonderfully, polite, individuals that you have as guest in your home?As Old Balls gets up from where he is sitting both of his balls slide out of his undergarments into plain view of everyone. Cole Slaw gives him a quick glare and he picks them up and places them back in the shorts.OLD BALLS-SLAWWell this is my nephew Cole Slaw and these are his friends Khaos, Velvet J and uh, I don’t believe that you ever told me your name young lady.The Psych Ward all look at each other because they too do not know her name even though they gang-banged her.SHITTNG WOMANYou guys seriously don’t know my name?COLE SLAWI know your name, its Mrs. Weinberg.The Shitting Women Gasp.SHITTNG WOMANI had a 4 some with you 3 guys and none of you even know my name? I know all of yours?COLE SLAWSorry, we are just self-absored I suppose.VELVET JBitch, we dont need to know your name. Your just a ho!KHAOSDamn straight man. You said it J.From out of nowhere Old Balls’ Balls fly and slap Velvet J Cole and Khaos in the face.OLD BALLS-SLAWNow boys, if you are gonna be down here in my home you have got to learn to respect the ladies.KHAOSThe ladies? There is only one.OLD BALLS-SLAWThats where you are wrong my friend. I would now formaly like to introduce you to my neighbors Cal and Don.CAL AND DONHIII!!!!!!! (WITH SUPER HOMO-VIBE)OLD BALLS-SLAWThese guys are musicians too. Just like you boys. Maybe you could make some music together.CAL AND DONOh, you boys like making music? Would you like to hear one of our songs?COLE SLAWWe are kind of in a rush.KHAOSYeah guys, I am real sorry but we have got to get a move on things.CAL AND DONOh come on, we’ll make it a short one.OLD BALLS-SLAWThey have time. There is always time for music.CAL AND DONWe are proud and we are LOOOOOOUUUUUUDDDDDDDD!!!KHAOSOh, no.CALI love his butt.DONHe loves my moooooooouuuuuuutttthhh!COLE SLAWUh, oh.The rest of the song commences and is about the gayest thing ever done in cinema.INT. --RAW SLAW’S CRIB (BURNT REMAINS)-- MORNINGCHANCEThat Raw Slaw guy was good.SWALLOWSDon’t ever call a CRIMINAL “good” in my presence! He is scum and you know it.CHANCEI just meant that he is good at being a criminal not just plain good sir. There is a difference.SWALLOWSWell in my world anyone who calls a bad man good has got something to hide!CHANCEI am sorry sir. I am not sure what you are suggesting.SWALLOWSI am suggesting that maybe those boys are nowhere to be found because someone on our side is giving them information to keep them one step ahead of us!CHANCESo you are calling me a Mole? That is a strong suggestion sir. I hope that you have a lot of evidence because charges like that brought against a Federal Officer would require quite a bit!SWALLOWSOh, I have all the evidence I need in your cd collection. When you went to go grab donuts earlier I took the liberty of “searching for some clues” in your car and found some pretty conclusive evidence that you are involved!CHANCEMy cd collection? Please explain.SWALLOWSWell the first few disk where a disguise to throw me off I know that much. You figured if you put some Nirvana and a Pa Pa Roach cd in the front I would think you are a “rocker” type. but every good detective doesnt just give up when the first few signs point the other way.CHANCEWhere is this going?SWALLOWSJust shut up and allow me to explain. The next few cds started to change a little in genre. There was a Boys 2 Men cd and some R. Kelly. It seemed as if you had a taste for the RnB as well but it wasnt until I flipped to the next page when it all hit me.....when I knew you were working for them.CHANCEI am lost man.SWALLOWSDo you know what the cds were Chance? I know you do you bastard!! Did you think I wouldnt find out? You love Gangster Rap!!! You son of a bitch! I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOOOOOOOOUUUUUUU!!Agent Swallows runs at Chance and began to hit him in the chest as he weeps uncontrollably. Chance having no idea what to do slaps the detective in the face.CHANCEWhat is wrong with you sir? You’ve got to get it together! Just because I listen to some Rap does not make me involved in all this.SWALLOWSReally? (still sobbing)CHANCEREALLY! What is wrong with you man? You used to have it together. What happened.SWALLOWSI’ll tell you what happened.Swallows pulls out a flask and takes a chug.SWALLOWSThe Psych Ward happened! They are making me look like a fool. Those guys disappear without a trace and we got nothing......The media is hounding me, the Higher-ups are hounding me, my wife is hounding me but with all this stress even with the Viagra all I can get is a softy at best it isnt fair!!!!!!! Its WRONG!!! Its Wrong..........Chance has not once EVER seen Swallows show any emotion and is overwhelmed by the fact that he just laid everything on the line in the last few minutes. There is an awkward silence between the too but it is broken when Chance finally figures out what to say.CHANCELook, I would not be the Agent I am today if it was not for you detective Swallows. You turned me from an eager Rookie into a trained professional. It kills me to see you like this man. The old you would have never given up.SWALLOWSChance that is one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me and even though I still think you are a rookie and not even close to being a trained professional I still think you had good intentions boy.CHANCEAny-time....?SWALLOWSWell, lets forget all that happened back there and try and see if we can find any clues.CHANCEGood deal sir.SWALLOWSAnd Chance,CHANCEYes sir.SWALLOWSIf you tell anyone about what happened here today I will deny every bit of it and also tell them about the Vince Gill cd you had in the back of your collection.There is a nervous laughter as the two continue to walk around the debris.CHANCESo what if those guys didnt actually even come here? What if that Raw guy is just a burn out and has nothing to do with them at all.SWALLOWSIt crossed my mind a few times but I see through Raw like a clear turd, he has got guilty all over his face.Both men are digging through different piles of debris with plastic gloves on.CHANCEWell, we cant keep him much longer unless we come up with some real charges.SWALLOWSHow about the charge of aiding in evading arrest of known criminals?CHANCEThat would be nice if we could prove it.SWALLOWSWe can prove it now.At this point Swallows lifts up a piece of wood that reveals underneath it a door labeled: Entrance to S.U.T.O.C.SWALLOWSAhahaha....ahahaha.ahahahha...Swallows goes off and an enormously over the top laughing spree that last for a couple minutes. (Perhaps use a “5 minutes later”) Finally Chance interupts.CHANCESir?SWALLOWSNot now Chance, I am busy.CHANCEI can see that sir but, well, its actually about that. What the hell is SUTOC and why is it so funny?SWALLOWSI told you that you were a rookie. Now say it “I am a rookie”.CHANCEYou are a rookie.Swallows puts on his most intimadating face.SWALLOWSNow thats not what I meant! Now say it right or I am not gonna tell you anything about SUTOC.During Swallows rage Chance pulls out his cell phone and starts to type.SWALLOWSWhat are you doing?CHANCEI am not interested in playing your games. I am just gonna google it real quick.SWALLOWSOh well alright rookie. I will tell you what it is. SUTOC is the.....CHANCESecret Underground Tunnel for Criminals. It says right here it is thought to be just a myth.SWALLOWSWell it looks like thats a bunch of bullshit now doesnt it. We have the backdoor of the place right.CHANCECan you imagine what this is going to do for our careers? A secret underground railroad of criminals? We are going to be famous!SWALLOWSActually Chance I don’t mean to burst your bubble but it was ME and ME alone who found the tunnel.CHANCEIs that so?SWALLOWSYou are damn right that is so. Now dont play games with me boy.CHANCEWell, when everyone asked me the story of what happened I am going to have to tell them about your little breakdown right before you found it. You know the one I had to make you snap out of? The one that ended with you weeping like a baby!SWALLOWSYou wouldnt dare.CHANCEI would and dont think I havent thought about the Vince Gill either. It was left their by my mother as far as anyone else knows.SWALLOWSAlright then! You win. WE found the tunnel! Are you happy now?CHANCEI am indeed.SWALLOWSThank god. I was waiting for you to shut up.CHANCEWait, there is just one more thing before we crack this door open.At this point Swallows is incredibly agitated by Chance.SWALLOWSWhat is it?CHANCEWhy do they abbreviate of and not the?SWALLOWSHuh?CHANCEThe Secret Underground Tunnel of Criminals. They abbreviate of but not the. Why do you think that is.SWALLOWSChance, do you really want to know why?Chance nods but reluctantly because he knows that Swallows is about to give a long, meaningless speech with out an answer.SWALLOWSThe reason that they did that is that the people involved with SUTOC are criminals and you and I both know that criminals are dumb and that is why to guys like me they are so damn easy to catch!CHANCEYes indeed sir.SWALLOWSSo are you ready to go down this tunnel and whoop ass and take names rookie?CHANCEDon’t we need to call for backup before we do that. We have no idea whats down there.SWALLOWSAnd let them get that far ahead of us? Are you mad?CHANCEI am just trying to be reasonable sir. We do not know exactly what is down there and we are just two men.SWALLOWSJust remember who you are working with boy, one of the finest in the biz. LETS LOCK AND LOAD!Swallows then kicks open the door with all his might and without thinking jumps into the tunnel. Chance seeing his partner take off into the unknown and decides that he cannot bring in the criminals alone and jumps in behind him.INT. --OLD BALLS UNDERGROUND LAIR--Cal and Don just finished their song and EVERYONE besides Old Balls is speechless.OLD BALLS-SLAWThat gets better every time I hear it.COLE SLAWUmmmm..... that was a really great song guys. Now do you suppose we can work on getting out of here?OLD BALLS-SLAWWell, this underground tunnel has only one way out.KHAOSWhat exactly is the way out?OLD BALLS-SLAWAll the way through it.VELVET JHow long is that Old Balls?OLD BALLS-SLAWWell, I don’t exactly know. I came in threw Raw Slaw but since then I have never left. I wouldnt very well reckon you boys go out that way either.Khaos looks at Cal and Don (sitting side by side holding hands) and then musters the courage to ask them a question.KHAOSWhat about you guys? You know the way?The two lovers look at each other tenderly and Don stands up.DONI know the way. I am down here on my own free will so I come and go as I please.COLE SLAWYour own free will? Why would you chose to live down here?Don looks at Cal and smiles.DONWhat if your life partner was forced to live underground due to crimes he committed on an accident. Wouldnt you still want to be with them no matter what?KHAOSI don’t ever intend on having a life partner.CALWhats a matter Khaos, have you never been in love?Khaos says nothing at all but simply points to a tattoo on his arm that says “NO LOVE”DONWell thats a shame.Cole is agitated that the topic is changing once again.COLE SLAWSo about this way out of here?KHAOSCAN YOU SHOW US THE WAY OUT?CALAlright, don’t get your whole shaft in a knot.Cal and Don grab each other and begin to man kiss hard core.It’s not forever boo.Cal wipes a tear off of Don’s cheek.CALJust bring your sweet ass back here...DONDont forget to feed Mr. Jew Jew.He looks at everyone else.DONThats our PUSSY CAT!Khaos opens a door to a small front porch leading to a large dark tunnel.KHAOSI think this leads somewhere out of here.Khaos is followed by the shitting woman and Cole Slaw then Don. Velvet J begrudgingly pulls himself off the heated rock and out from under the sunlamp.VELVET JI like your pad Old Balls. You live like a king, do as you want.Velvet J gets a real passionate look on his face.VELVET JYou don’t have to put up with society’s restriction you let your balls hang like a man.Velvet J puts out the pound sign of man friendship. The knuckle touch.OLD BALLSThank you sunny. You know you are welcome here any time. Just don’t come back or I’ll have to kill you. I got something for you just wait a second.Cole Slaw peeps his head back into the house.COLE SLAWHey dude, we found a way out of here.Hold up a second I think Old Balls is going to give me something. Old Balls walks back into the room and hands velvet J a large tuperware container full of brownies.OLD BALLSThese are home made special Old Balls Slaw recipe. Now get going. Always remember if you don’t keep a trucking with the wind then you are running with the wind fuck the ozone I live in a fucking cave.Old Balls looks around and everyone have left so he slowly crawls under his heating lamp and pulls his balls out. Meanwhile the group heads down the dark tunnel.KING KHAOSMy lighters out so if anyone has a light now is the time to turn it on.Cal illuminates as a large flash light dildo is turned on.KHAOSWhat the fuck? You can just get in front of me. I don’t like the thought of that behind me.DONTwelve bucks at the porn store. It came with the batteries. A pretty good deal..... (trailing off)INT. -TUNNEL UNDER RAW SLAW’S-- NIGHTThe scene consist of 2 shots. 1 being Agent Swallows zipping down a tunnel and the other being Chance zipping behind him. The dialogue will begin once they hit the bottom and recoop themselves. Agent Swallows and Chance both pull out flashlights.SWALLOWSHoly mother of God! Would you look at this place.CHANCEIt could go on for miles.SWALLOWSIt does go on for miles. I can’t believe it really exist. Its been a myth to our people for years now. We always thought it was just talk. We thought the criminals just wanted us to think it existed. They wanted us to fear that they could run away forever and never get caught. Well, today is the day! Today is the day that I prove to their kind once and for all that there is no running. There is no hiding because WE are here! And WE will always be here as long as their kind exist!!!!!!!!!!!CHANCESo yeah, its real. We’re here. Now what do we do?SWALLOWSMy instincts tell me that we should march in this direction. I know those punks went this way. I can tell.CHANCEYeah, good call Swallows. I was thinking they might have gone this way.Chance points his flashlight in the opposite direction and reveals a huge brick wall. Upon seeing this Agent Swallows gives Chance a dirty look.SWALLOWSLook kid, you are either for or against me and lately you have been leaning towards against me. This is my show and dont you forget it.CHANCEIf you say so.SWALLOWSNow lets go catch us some bad guys.CHANCEAll right. I can deal with that but I do sort of have one question.SWALLOWSYou always have one question.CHANCESo can I ask it?SWALLOWSGo ahead.CHANCEIts just something I think you may not have thought of.SWALLOWSI doubt that really seriously but, go ahead. I have got to hear this.Swallows is grinning from ear to ear waiting to hear whatever it is that this rookie thinks he knows.CHANCEOnce we arrest all these “criminals” that are in this tunnel how exactly are we going to detain them. I mean, we only have one pair of handcuffs each.Swallows is beaming when he responds with pride.SWALLOWSYou Agent Chance may only have one pair of handcuffs but I on the other hand being the prepared type have enough restraints to detain over 100 people on me at all times. We will just cuff all those mother Fuckers.Swallows pulls out a wad of zip-ties.CHANCEYou honestly have that on you at all times?SWALLOWSEvery day since Attaca. Don’t worry rook You don’t have a clue.Chance then looks at Swallows defeated and they both nod and start running down the trail. Swallows leads with pride as Chance follows like a bitch.CHANCESir, I think my knee is injured from the fall into the tunnel.Swallows turns around with a cocky smirk.SWALLOWSAre you going to be a bitch chance or am I going to have to carry you.Chance falls to the ground and he tries to keep up. Swallows runs back and pulls Chance up and onto his shoulders.SWALLOWSI never thought those days in the military would pay off.Swallows begins to slowly jog carrying Chance then tires to a complete stop throwing Chance off his back. He then briefly drops him.SWALLOWSWhat the hell is this.Chance grabs his knee in agonizing pain as Swallows picks something up off the tunnel floor.SWALLOWSBeing a “rook”, you probably have never encountered one of these before.Agent swallows extends his hand in front of Chance with the flashlight pointing on it.SWALLOWSYou know what this is called “rook”.Chance picks up the object out of Agent Swallows hand and holds it in his finger tips.CHANCEI believe so sir.Chance faces Swallows.CHANCEMarijuana.SWALLOWSYou have done your research.CHANCESir, I believe the only way we can find these fugitives is to first think like them. We have to enter their drug induced psyche. I will light the blunt tip if you inhale.Swallows grabs chance by his shirt.SWALLOWSDo you know what that will do to you.Swallows holds the wrist of Chance as if suggesting he should wait a moment and think it over.CHANCEScientist report that it gives you an extreme hunger and slow reaction time. I am quite familiar.Swallows glares at Chance as he is about to light the blunt.SWALLOWSDon’t do it to feed your addiction do it to fuel the furnace known as our investigation... into the criminal underworlds starring lead detective Swallows and his bitch “rook “ partner chance. I would have the title cards looking real cool and there would be major special affects. I like the way that sounds.Agent Swallows looks at chance then gabs the pipe out of his hands and holds it.SWALLOWSI thought I could trust you but, it seems your addiction has gotten the best of you. You are too high.Chance chuckles and laughs at swallows.SWALLOWSWhy don’t you ask yourself that question you are the one holding the pipe.SWALLOWSHold up. What did you just say.SWALLOWSIt sounded like I was waking up from a dream.Swallows turns behind him very quickly and stares and then turns to look back at Chance.SWALLOWSIt feels like I just woke up from a dream.CHANCEYou just said that.SWALLOWSAre you suggesting that I am high “rook” Second hand smoke does not effect me.CHANCEYou took a hit of the blunt.Swallows jumps back.SWALLOWSI did no such thing.Swallows stops to look at the blunt tip in his hand. He then gasps in upmost disbelief.SWALLOWSI didn't. Yes sir I believe you did about an hour ago. If I did then why am I holding the same one you just lit.CHANCEThey left a trail of them. That is the fifth one I’ve lit for you sir.INT. --TUNNEL--Khaos stops to light another blunt.KHAOSSo were the fuck are we going and how much further till we get there?DONRight over here. Quite a bit. Do you like my dick.COLE SLAWIf I knew the way out I’d kill you. How long is quite a bit.DONA little ways.VELVET JWell that’s not far at all.Velvet J smiles at don.DONNo, its really not when you think about it. Sweet sugar coated candy ass.The group walk in silence for about 10 minutes. (10 minutes later)KHAOSI smell something burning. It smells nice.COLE SLAWYeah, I smell that too. Looks like some of these other criminals down here know how to party!The sound of reggae music is becoming faintly heard. Out of no were a small orange light is burning in the dark.JAMAICAN ALIENWhat’s up mon. Feellll like gettinnnn high.The penis flashlight is pointed over at a skinny black man with long dreadlocks. The shitting woman cowers by cole slaw grabbing him by the arm.COLE SLAWWhoa! What’s wrong?Cole Slaw leans down as shitting woman whispers.SHITTNG WOMANI just watched his eyes turn green.COLE SLAWWho?By this time Khaos and velvet J are standing by the Rastafarian. Khaos coughsVELVET JDamn! This stuff is amazing. The flavor is like some kind of wild berry.COLE SLAWIt smells like berries.Cole Slaw grabs the penis light from Don ignores the shitting woman and walks over to complete the huddle of smokers.VELVET JHere take a hit of this.Cole Slaw begins to hit the blunt then points the light up at the Rasta man’s face.JAMAICAN ALIENGet your penis out of my face. Feeelll what I’m saying.Cole Slaw pulls the light back.COLE SLAWSorry man, it’s just your eyes have a greenish tint to them.JAMAICAN ALIENIt’s a gene that’s passes down in my family only true smokers get it. Real Rastas.VELVET JYesterday, I thought my eyes looked a little green.Khaos hits the blunt then passes it back to the Rastafarian.KHAOSCan you just be high and leave this poor man’s medical condition alone.COLE SLAWI am pretty high.VELVET JThis shit is good what do you call it.JAMAICAN ALIENJamaican Fluff. It’s my own strain and I grow it right down here!COLE SLAWNow that I got to see.The Rasta steps to the side as a hidden hydraulic door slides open exposing a bright florescent room with tall green plants.Velvet J heads for the door and it quickly slides shut.JAMAICAN ALIENI can’t let you in there. You could be cops.Khaos gets angry and bows up to the small skinny Rasta.KHAOSThat is the most disrespectful thing you can say to me.JAMAICAN ALIENHow do I know you are not just pretending. How to I know you a true smoker.KHAOSMan hold up.Cole Slaw breaks out the beat machine and the three fugitives from the psych Ward break off another gangsta ass rap song.JAMAICAN ALIENI’m sorry I underestimated the psychward. You playas are down with me... Real smokers. You are welcome to enter just don’t take anything out of the grow room just don’t touch my weed.EXT. --OLD BALLS HOUSE-- UNKNOWNChance and swallows do not know they have just stumbled into Old Balls place.SWALLOWSI don’t know were we are or were we are going but I feel like I’m hyperventilating.Swallows begins to breakdown again hyperventilating.SWALLOWSI can’t breathe.CHANCERelax you are just having a panic attack. Everything is going to be alright.SWALLOWSJust feel my god damn pulse chance.Swallows extends his right arm while feeling his pulse with the left.SWALLOWSMy heart just beat irregularly.A faint giggle is heard from the darkness. Swallows drops his flashlight and screams. Chance pulls out his gun.OLD BALLS-SLAWEasy there partner I just thought you might need some help.SWALLOWSDon’t tell him we are cops he might kill us.Old Balls approaches the agents.OLD BALLS-SLAWYou boys must be friends with the psychward.CHANCEYeah, How did you know.OLD BALLS-SLAWI don’t get many visitors down here.Chance looks down at a crack in Old Balls robe and the question “Are those balls?” runs across his face.OLD BALLS-SLAWYou boys want a coke. Take a load off and let Old Balls get you a sodey pop.SWALLOWSDid that guy just refer to himself as Old Balls.CHANCEI believe he did. So Old Balls you don’t happen to know the way out of here do you?Old Balls is clearly mixing a white powder with the sodey pop comes out from around a corner with a coke in each of his hands and fully exposing Swallows and Chance to his long tan old sac.OLD BALLS-SLAWWell you boys just got here. You wouldn't be trying to leave Old Balls already would you.INT. -GROW ROOM-- TIME UNKNOWNIn the bright light of the florescent lit grow room it has become clear that the Jamaican’s body frame is not from this earth. Khaos turns to the shitting woman.KING KHAOSI thought I was just high earlier but, this nigga right here looks like a mother fucking Alien.The Jamaican’s head whips around so fast that he completely shakes off the Rastafarian wig. His eyes begin to glow green and stare at Cole Slaw’s back. Cole Slaw has his back to the group as he snaps off a bud and slips it into his back pack. Cole Slaw then turns around and looks at everyone. Cole Slaw then nods his head upward as if to say something.COLE SLAWWhat’s up.JAMAICAN ALIENI told you not to touch the chronic.The Jamaican alien rubs a circle on the right side of chest and Cole Slaw is lifted into the air.JAMAICAN ALIEN (CONT’D)Give me one reason why I don’t end your feeble earth like existence. Maaaannnnn.Cole Slaw responds in a Jamaican Accent.COLE SLAWIt’s alright maaaannnn. I be a true smoker. Any true smoker knows that weed is more important than the truth.Above the influence.com Flashes on the bottom right of the shot as everyone pauses in silence. The alien then squeezes his fist together and tightens his hold on cole Slaw. His back pack falls open and about ten huge nuggets along with the beat machine. As the beat machine hits the floor it plays the last Beat Cole Slaw was working on.JAMAICAN ALIENWhat is that?COLE SLAW(As he gasps for air) I make beats for a living it’s what I do. I got more.Velvet J screamsVELVET JLet Him go!The shitting woman runs behind Khaos who pulls out a blunt and begins to light it.KING KHAOSIf I’m going to die I’ma die high.The Alien release Cole Slaw and lets him grab the beat machine off the floor. He frantically twists the knobs and pushes the buttons on the beat machine until a flow worthy beat is cranked up.VELVET JI’ma die high bitch! I’ma die high bitch.Khaos passes the blunt to the Alien then breaks off a bad ass flow.INT. -OLD BALLS HOME-- TIME UNKOWNOld Balls is sitting in a worn out leather chair with house slippers on a nuts hanging nearly to the ground. Chance and Swallows sit infront of Old Balls with pale drugged faces.OLD BALLS-SLAWI guess it was Winston Churchill who first called me Old Balls. That there is one man with some large testis. His wife was a lesbo and so was mine. That’s how we met.Chance pushes himself up.CHANCEIf you don’t mind I need to use the restroom.OLD BALLS-SLAWGo ahead down the hall to your left. Jiggle the handle when you are done so the toilet don’t run.Chance nods and slowly walks to the restroom. Once in the restroom Chance picks up the carpet covered toilet seat lip and begins to piss.TOILET CREATUREHeeeeyyyy up there!Chance’s piss flies everywhere as he is frightened and backs away from the toilet. Worm type creature with a human looking face crawls out of the toilet.TOILET CREATUREYou aren't my master. I’m just so used to balls hiting my face before piss that I knew it must be someone new. Wow!CHANCEDo you know the way out of here?TOILET CREATURENot alot of people do but, you just happen to be talking to one that does.CHANCETell me I need to know.The creature winks an eye and bites it’s lip.TOILET CREATUREIt’s going to cost you.Chance leans into the creatures face.CHANCEWhat?TOILET CREATUREYou have to shit on my face.INT. -GROW ROOM-- TIME UNKNOWNThe Alien nods his head to the beat.JAMAICAN ALIENNot bad true smokers. I have a little beat I’ve been working on.COLE SLAWYeah what do you make beats with fruity loops? reason?JAMAICAN ALIENMy head. You will hear it telepathically.Velvet J closes his eyes.DONIt sounds like the theme to Heman masters of the universe.JAMAICAN ALIENThat’s because you are gay and have that song permanently stuck in you head to remind you of Dolph Lundgren.KING KHAOSJuvinile back that ass up.SHITTNG WOMANBrittney Spears.KING KHAOSWhat you hear cole Slaw?COLE SLAWOzzy.COLE SLAWWhat do you hear velvet?There is a slight pause everyone looks at velvet J.JAMAICAN ALIENThe song you hear now is the same song you played the most ten years ago.VELVET JTu Pac.JAMAICAN ALIENYour listening to the rap song with vanilla ice in ninja turtles part two. Don’t lie to us maaannn.VELVET JHow the hell did you know that man?COLE SLAWBitch, 5 minues ago he said he was telepathic. What do you think?VELVET JWell, I dont exactly know what telepathic means.KHAOSIt means he can read your mind dumbass.VELVET JOh, yeah.... I knew that. I just forgot.......Velvet looks around as he trys to come up with a lie.VELVET JBecause I am so HIGH! Yeah!!!!!Everyone else looks at him like an idiot.KHAOSSo Mr. (blank), do you suppose we you could tell us the way out of here. That is what we are trying to do.JAMAICAN ALIENThe way out? But you guys just got here. Don’t you wanna stay?COLE SLAWWe would LOOOOVVVVEEEE to stay and hang with you man but we got things to do OUTSIDE of this tunnel.JAMAICAN ALIENIts just that everyone has always left me my whole life. I had to leave my home planet because no one would be my friend.KHAOSDid you shoot that fucking ray at everyone back home that tried to steal your weed?JAMAICAN ALIENYeeessss.KHAOSWell man, i got some news for you. Here on Earth everyone that smokes weed knows that your friends are gonna try and steal it.COLE SLAWYeah man, a weed fiend is just that, A FIEND.VELVET JYou guys steal my weed?COLE SLAW AND KHAOSSHUT UP!JAMAICAN ALIENSo your friends steal? Doesn't that make them not your friends?COLE SLAWNo man, that just means that eventually you have to steal their weed.JAMAICAN ALIENOooooooohhhhhhh, I get it. Its like looking out from your buddies.KHAOSNo, its more like knowing that your friends will jack you so you have no conscience when jacking them back.JAMAICAN ALIENWOW! What a wonderful concept man. Its like sinning but like doing it on purpose man because you know everyone else gonna be in hell with ya.The Psych Ward all look at each other oddly and without speaking unanimously decide that they have to leave.COLE SLAWRight on man.KHAOSYeah fool, you nailed it on the fucking head.VELVET JRight on man, right on.KHAOSSo Enlightened One. Will you show us the way out of this tunnel.COLE SLAWWe have a journey to complete.JAMAICAN ALIENI understand. The way out is through here. But I have to warn you that the most dangerous man in the world lies ahead of you. Watch your asses.A door opens in a wall and a light appears in the door. The camera can only see the light and all the Psych Ward’s faces but you see there expressions change to complete joy. In side the door is a mansion. Without hesitation they all step inside.INT. --TUNNEL/MANSION--VELVET JHoly FUCKING SHIT! This place is huge. It must have like a million rooms in it.KHAOSI would say somewhere around 30-40 is more like it.COLE SLAWWhere are we?SHITTNG WOMANThis place is unbelievable.KHAOSI don’t see anything dangerous either. I think that Alien was bull-shiting.SHITTNG WOMANI’ve bet this place has a phone. I’ve got to call my husband.VELVET JIf you find one let me know. Places like this normaly dont block 900 numbers and I gotta gotsta get my jerk on. Its been like 13 hours and 42 minutes or something.The shitting women disapears into a random room to find a phone. Khaos takes note and goes into the same room a few seconds later. As the door closes a beat comes in that has a “sexual edge”.COLE SLAWDamn dude. It has been a while for me too. It looks like Khaos is gonna be getting all the action tonight.VELVET JWell, there are plenty of rooms here. I think I am gonna pick one out and hit the hay.COLE SLAWOh yeah man. Thats a reallllyyy good idea. I am pretty exhausted from such a long day. I am about to pass out.VELVET JGood night dude. We are almost free.COLE SLAWGnight man.........Oh and uh, dude.VELVET JWhat is it man?COLE SLAWCould you not like, knock on my door or anything. I am gonna be needing to get me some Deeep sleep.VELVET JDeep sleep? Are you gonna go in there and whack off too?Cole Slaw is incredibly emabarassed that he is caught.COLE SLAWUh, yeah. So leave me the fuck alone.Cole Closes the door quickly and takes a dive for the bed. (Insert Release).INT. --UNDERGROUND--Agent Swallows and Chance head down the tunnel with occasional breaks to vomit.CHANCESomething was in that Sody pop. I don’t know if that was a dream or real. All I know is I’m never going back.The two agents sit down against the tunnel walls. Chance leans his head back as Swallows begins to stare down at the ground. Swallows shakes his head in disbelief as he points his flashlight on the ground in front of him. He picks up the piece of evidence and examines it in front of Chance.SWALLOWSLook! It’s another blunt tip.JAMAICAN ALIENThere is plenty more were that came from maaannnnn.Swallows immediately pulls out his guns and blows the right arm off the Jamaican Alien. Chance regains his composer as he pulls out his weapon.CHANCEHoly Shit!SWALLOWSI didn't spend 5 years on the ninth level of an underground military base for nothing.Swallows walks up to the body. Alien blood squirts out of the Jamaican's mouth and arm.SWALLOWSWhat you got here is a typical Grey. Far from home now are’nt we.Swallows spits on the Jamaican Alien’s face and points the gun straight at the life form.SWALLOWSHoly shit did you see that. I fucking blew that alien to hell. I’m sick and fucking tired of being down here with you criminal scum. Now I want to know were the Psych Ward is and I want to know now!INT. -TUNNEL/MANSION-- TIME UNKNOWNVelvet Jay is laying in bed sleeping restlessly.VELVET J (NARRORATING OUT OF BODY)I’ve been in this tunnel too long, I have not been with a women since Crystol and even then I felt unsatisfied. I need some physical contact. I need a REAL release. Jacking off is not enough. I am only human. I would take anything I can get, anything, anything, anything.The scene next cuts to Velvet J waking up in the morning in his room alone. He looks around and is glad to at least be in a bed in a nice house. He slept in the nude so when he stands there is a shot of his bare ass. Without any warning the door burst open and in comes Don wearing a speedo, a vest and holding 2 cups of coffee and a newspaper. Velvet J quickly grabs a sheet from the bed to cover his nudity from the Homosexual male.VELVET JMan, you need to learn to knock. I was naked man.DONOh, now dont be silly. Just because the lights are on doesnt make any difference.Velvet J has a puzzled look.VELVET JWell, i dont care if the lights are on or off. I dont want you being around me even when I am naked.DONYou are such a grumpy gus in the morning. Have some coffee and purk yourself up! GuuurrrrrAs Don says that he flips Velvet J’s dick.VELVET JMan don’t do that.DONYou were not saying that last night.VELVET JWhat do you mean man.DONWhen you came to my room and said you were having a bad dream?VELVET JI did?DONYeah, you said it was too dark so I came in here with the flashlight and we played guiding light.At that point Don picks up a Dildo shaped flashlight from the night stand and turns it on. When the light comes on it reveals that the dildo is covered in shit.VELVET JWhat is on the end of that? Is that shit man? Get that away from me!DONYou are correct Velvet. It is shit. In fact, it is YOUR shit. Don’t you remember anything about last night?VELVET JNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!As Velvet is screaming he looks at the bed where there is a huge red mark. It cuts back to Velvet’s room where it is still dark and the door is opening. Upon seeing the the shitting women hold a shoosh sign up over her mouth Velvet stops screaming and she crawls into bed with him.The door to Cole Slaws room is opened. Velvet J tip toes inside and grabs the beat machine and turns in on full blast. Cole Slaw slowly pops out of the covers and greets Velvet with a smile.VELVET JWhat are you smiling at? I got something to tell you man.Cole Slaw signals for Velvet to turn down the blasting beat machine and he complies.VELVET JDamn last night was pretty fucking awesome dude.COLE SLAWYou are telling me man, I barely slept a wink.VELVET JYeah me neither man, I fucked the bitch last night.COLE SLAWWhat bitch there is only one lady with us unless you are reffering to..In another room don cradles the dildo light.VELVET JListen I fucked that bitch that you have been trying to get with. So don’t hate on me for fucking what you couldn't. I don’t know if you are just in some kind of jealous denial right now or what but I’m starting to fall in love with this women and I know its for real. Last night She came into my room about thirty minutes after we all went to bed. Then two minutes after that I came into her. We held each other until we passed out. We shared intimate details together that she will NEVER share with you!!! We even went so far as to name our first kid. Do you wanna know his name? Do you? Okay, I’ll tell you what it is. Its gonna be Velvet P. and the P stands for Philip and that is the name of her little baby brother that never had a chance to be born.....While Velvet is rambling the shitting women slowly slips out from underneath Cole Slaw’s covers.SHITTNG WOMANVelvet STOP!He finally takes his eyes of of Cole and sees the shitting women.VELVET JYou MONSTER!!!!! How could you do this to me?He looks at Cole.VELVET JAnd you!!! I thought you were my friend!!!! AAhhwhwhaaaahwhwaaaahaVelvet J turns quickly and begins to run the other way. Slowly getting out of bed and putting on his underwear starts to walk after Velvet.COLE SLAWI have to go after him.As Velvet runs down the hall he sees Khaos to which he falls into his arms and collapses.VELVET JThey took it. They took everything I ever cared about.KING KHAOSThey took your weed? Man that ain't cool.VELVET JNot my weed you idiot! They took my women. They took my heart and splintered it with their very existance!!! Oh, why!!!!KING KHAOSYour woman? I didn't know you had a woman.VELVET JYou know, man. That bitch Cole likes. I had my way with her.KING KHAOSI know you are not talking about Mrs. Weinberg. That's my bitch. Have you seen her?VELVET JI hate to break it to you man but she has moved on. After she left your room last night she came over to mine and we bonded. She isn't in to you any more.KING KHAOSSo you fucked my girl? I won fair and square you little weasel. Once I hit that.. that made it mine. I can handle folks pinching a little weed nigga but I don't stand for no bitch taking get over here.Khaos takes a dive for Velvet and takes him to the ground. They scuffle for a short while and then Cole steps into the room with the shitting women. He graps Khaos and pulls him off of Velvet. Velvet gets up and points at Cole Slaw.VELVET JHOME WRECKER!!!!!!!!!!He then runs at Cole and tackles him to the floor. Khaos looks at the two on the ground and heads for the shitting women. Once both Cole and Velvet see him approaching her they attack him. Soon all three are in an all out brall. The shitting women is sitting on the side lines freaking out as the Psych Ward tear each other apart. The violence is all interupted by a shot gun blast to a nearby vase. The Psych Ward stop fighting and see none other than the President of the USA George Bush JR holding a double barrell shot-gun.GEORGE BUSH JR.Settle down boys. You have got a lot bigger problems once I get security down here.He pulls his phone out of his pocket and starts to dial. Before he hits send the shitting women knocks the phone out of his hand with a fireplace poker. He drops the phone and it breaks but he still maintains the gun and points it right at the woman.GEORGE BUSH JR.You just messed with the wrong President honey!THE PSYCH WARDNO!!!!!!!!!!!GEORGE BUSH JR.Oh, I see how it is. You boys care a lot about this women. Well let me assure as the President of this fine country erasing her by this time tomorrow would not be a problem.SHITTNG WOMANYou wouldnt dare!GEORGE BUSH JR.Oh I would. Now you three get on the ground or this bitch gets it!!!!THE PSYCH WARDOkay.......GEORGE BUSH JR.Now my backup should be down here any minute even though I didn't call them because I am the fucking President and that's just how I role but, until then I have some questions to ask like who are you and how the hell did you get in my basement?VELVET JWe are escaped criminals. We ran away from a mental institute for the criminally insane, we found this tunnel and we met this dude named old balls and......GEORGE BUSH JR.SHUT UP!!!! Slow down! This is a secret entrance to the White House that only a few other people besides me know about and I want to know how you got here so I know who to KILL!!!!KHAOSThis guy named Don brought us here.COLE SLAWYeah, he is about this tall and real skinny. He is a real fruitcake if you know what I mean.The President looks into the distance sadly and mumbles Donnie........Donnie how could you?GEORGE BUSH JR.You are liars! You are all liars. Donnie said he would never tell anyone about this place. This was our place.At this point Donnie comes into sight behind George holding the flashlight and brandishing it as a weapon. The others try to distract Bush with talk.COLE SLAWDon always did seem like the backstabbing type. You know he's got a man that he lives with down in the tunnel too?GEORGE BUSH JR.He wouldn't dare.George Bush turns around only to have the weapon knocked out of his hand by Don’s light. Don then takes the light and slaps it across Bush’s face leaving a large mushroom mark.COLE SLAWDamn!Bush falls to the floor and looks up atDONI’m tired of staying in the tunnel for you. I’m not keeping this secret anymore.COLE SLAWYou don’t have to. I have recorded the entire conversation.GEORGE BUSH JR.You just hold on one second little whiper snapper. This don’t need to leave the room if you know what I am saying. You say that you boys are criminals. How about a full pardon?KHAOSI can agree to that. Plus a couple of million dollars.GEORGE BUSH JR.You are right Donnie I should have never pretended not to love you.VELVET JYou two queers have been catching too much.KHAOSLooks at velvet J with a perplexed expression.VELVET JYou are only gay if you take it.Velvet J smiles and stares at Khaos with dilated pupils.KHAOSWhat are you eating.VELVET JBrownies that Old Balls gave me. You want one?Cole Slaw runs over and grabs a brownie.COLE SLAWBrownies hell yeah, I’m starving. Gimme them.Cole Slaw begins to stuff his face then hands Khaos one.KHAOSFuck it.Khaos begins to chow down. Cole Slaw turns the beat machine on and starts to play a new beat as the group gets together for a final jam session. At the end of the song they all sit on a long couch and pass a blunt.GEORGE BUSH JR.Damn this is some fucked up shit. I am the president.COLE SLAWI can finally say I fucked in the White House.A picture of Donnie is displayed.Text: Don went back into the tunnel with his light and lived happily ever after. Really happily.A picture of George Bush is displayed.Text:Lives as Don and Cal’s sex slave while a synthetic robot like his wife replaces his body above ground.A picture of Chance and Swallows is displayed.Text: Shortly after relishing in victory Chance and Swallows were killed. The alien’s regenerative powers enabled him to regrow his arm and kill the two agents.A picture of Raw Slaw is displayed.Text: Raw Slaw went on to trip balls the rest of his life happilyA picture of the shitting Woman is displayed.Text: The shitting woman went on to have a baby with her jewish husband. The baby was half black.A picture of King Khaos is displayed.Text:Khaos now lives in Toronto with his newly adopted son. He owns three car dealerships and gets high everyday.A picture of Velvet J is displayed.Text:Velvet J is now leading one of the largest cults since David keresch.A picture of Cole Slaw J is displayed.Text: Slaw record label was released shortly after exiting the tunnel. Cole Slaw is getting paid alot of money to make beats and uses the money to humiliate unwed pregnant mothers in a reality television show called “What would I do for a million Cole Slaws”A picture of Darrel is displayed.Text: Darrel won the lottery shot his wife and paid his way out of jail.EXT. -- COUNTRY HOME -- SUNDAY AFTERNOONLittle Billy pulls on Grandpa's hand.LITTLE BILLYWhat ever happened to Old Balls grandpa.Grandpa crosses his legs and balls are visible around ankle level.GRANDPAWell, nobody really saw Old Balls after the Pysch Ward was pardoned.One of the kids had wondered over to the radio and turns the dial as the volume is increased.LITTLE BILLYIt’s Pysch Ward turn that shit up!One of the kids comes up behind the old man and slips a rope around his neck and pulls him to the ground as Little Billy and the others gather around him kicking and punching grandpa unconscious. The credits begin to roll.
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Pish Posh - Desperately Desperate (lost 1980's syn
Aug 24, 2008
Pish Posh formed in 1981 and immediately charted with their hit single "Desperately Desperate". The single started a near decade long career that launched them into super-stardom. The 1980s were an extremely rewarding time period for the duo, they sold millions of albums, completed a number of successful world tours and fucked a large number of women (probably including your mom or older sister). While the 80s treated them kindly the 90s are another story. Once the new decade rolled around and Grunge took over Pish Posh was quickly forgotten and their place on the charts was replaced by Nirvana and the other Seattle bands. These days Pish Posh may be gone but they are not forgotten, most women still cum just thinking about them. If you are a guy and you think your girl might be faking it just play their music and you will know its genuine. It is a little known fact that "Desperately Desperate" is about rape. Isn't it ironic they can still make women cum? Weird.......
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gillette commercial
Aug 24, 2008
Two professional hard asses, JJ and JB, battle late night at a tennis court over who's going to shave their head. I lost
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Aug 24, 2008
THE TRIBE(A screenplay written by Jeremy Beall and Jacob Jones)Written by Jeremy Beall and Jacob Jonesaggressiveliterature@ymail.comvelvetj.jones@gmail.com((903) 721-4790Jbeall)((903) 279-9508JJones)Copy Written Aug. 4th 2008INT. -- RADIO STATION -- AFTERNOONTwo country DJ’s, Deuce and Bucky, are sitting in the studio of their small ten by twelve foot East Texas radio station. The accents of their studio charge a rustic brown wall with blue and gold frames holding pictures of the local high school football team. A large wooden statue of a Indian chief stands in the corner. Buckey leans back in his chair rewinding the last regular season Jacksonville high school football game and Deuce flips a switch activating the “on air” sign. The sign lights up as his head leans into the microphone.DEUCE(excited)If ya’ll people, driving home from work, listening haven’t been living under a rock then, you know that This is the Deuce and Bucky show and we are talking football.The Jacksonville High school fight song plays in the background. Deuce triggers some football sounds and Bucky starts to chop the air using his hand as a tomahawk.DEUCE (CONT’D)East Texas football is still going strong and we are into the playoffs.BUCKYThat’s right we still have Henderson and possibly Corsicana.DEUCEI hate going to Henderson, it always smells like shit.BUCKYI thought you were born in Henderson?Bucky smirks.DEUCEFuck you, I boned your wife.BUCKY(Offended)What did you say?DEUCE(Baffled)Born and raised in Jacksonville been here my whole life.Bucky shakes his head and leans into the microphone.BUCKYThe Indians are still in the playoffs and fighting for that state championship.DEUCEEverybody knows that the Henderson women are easy and Corsicana has a meth problem. Leave it to the good ole boys in gold and blue to show you how football is supposed to be played. That is why I’m glad to be from Jacksonville, Texas.BUCKYWoo Wii, after you mention Jacksonville, I got goose bumps running up and down my arms. Damn those boys from J’ville sure know how to play some ball.DEUCEYou said it. They are straight up ballers. Each player is a heavy metal wrecking machine.A sensational, and intense glare consumes Bucky as he stares at a picture of the football team.DEUCEI believe they play Henderson this up coming Friday. There ain’t any doubt in my mind which bodies are going to be carried off the Indian’s burial ground.BUCKYThose J’ville boys live, sleep and will kill to play some pig skin. I pity Henderson.DEUCE(Compassionate)Coach Strong loves those boys to death. He will do what ever it takes to win state.Bucky grabs an old Indian football helmet and puts it on. Then gets into a three point stance. Bucky is about to tackle Deuce then pulls up right before running into him.BUCKYThis is the time of year when I relive the best years of my life. Only in Texas.Buckey pushes away from the sound table and reaches into a refrigerator. He begins pouring an ice cold beer into the Jacksonville Indian football helmet. Bucky lifts the helmet over his head and chugs the beer right out, a little spills on his shirt.DEUCEHell, I know it must be killing Coach Strong to not have a state ring on his finger yet. He has one from his previous coaching position in Marshall, Texas, but not one from Jacksonville.Bucky pushes pause on the highlight tape of the Jacksonville Indians playing football. Deuce raises his hand and makes a small gap between his index finger and thumb.DEUCELast year was the closets they’ve been in Jacksonville since 1969, when Ennis beat’em in the quarter finales at Texas Stadium.Bucky hangs his head and shakes it in sorrow.BUCKY(Aggravated)Man that was an upset. If you want to look at it as if the glass is half full, Ennis did win state when it was all said and done. Congrats to Jacksonville for getting beat by the champions.DEUCEBucky I may be telling a lie and god strike me down if I am but,Deuce bangs his closed fist on the sound table then points to Bucky.DEUCEThis year is the year we go to state and win.Deuce pushes a button that triggers the school song again and Bucky takes a head dress off the wooden chief and performs a rain dance around the sound studio.DEUCE (CONT’D)And win. Time to get the lead out baby! Go Tribe!BUCKYNow a word from Stetson cologne. It’s a nice way to make the panties drop.Deuce hits play on a commercial.The commercial consists of a woman singing in a sexual manner “Stetson cologne for men, it’s a nice way to make the panties drop. Available at all fine Wal- Mart stores.EXT. -- INDIAN PRACTICE FIELD -- AFTERNOONHead Coach Strong, a large fat man wearing a straw hat over his bald head, blows his ear piercing whistle. The whistle drops from his enormous spit flinging mouth.COACH STRONGYou stupid cock sucking mother fucker! Pull your head out of your ass boy.Coach Strong walks a few steps towards the offensive line and grabs the embarrassed football player with his left hand and uses the other to put the whistle back in his huge mouth. Coach Strong blows the whistle for the second time.COACH STRONG (CONT’D)Everybody stop, I want yall to know this sorry excuse for a center doesn’t know the difference from twins right 37 dive to twins right 39 toss.Coach Strong grabs the player by his face mask and pulls him closer. Coach Strong shakes his head.COACH STRONG (CONT’D)God damn it boy. If you weren't my son I would give you an ass kicking so bad there wouldn't be enough I.V. bags in the hospital to keep me from burring you.Coach Strong while still holding on to the player points to the direction he was supposed to block.COACH STRONG (CONT’D)You block down! You hear me mother fucker? Down! You’re an embarrassmentCoach Stunner stands a few yards to the right of Strong.COACH STUNNER(Offended)Strong! That’s enoughCoach Strong turns sharply and makes direct eye contact with stunner.COACH STRONGOk, everybody get back to what yall were doing.On the sideline two underclassmen kneel on one knee in the unbarring Texas sun watching their coach discipline their teammate.UNDER CLASSMAN 1(concerned)I wonder if Coach Strong’s wife knows he talks like that to their own son.Underclassmen 2 uses his left hand to block the glare of the sun.UNDER CLASSMAN 2God I’m tired of standing in this damn sun. Why do those guys get to sit in the shade and we have to get sun burned everyday? Who and what makes them so special?Underclassmen 1 points with his right hand to a patch of shade were a small group of varsity players sit.UNDER CLASSMEN 1The one on your far right is Jbeall.Jbeall stares down the field noticing the underclassmen pointing at him. Quick flashes of student’s year book pictures flip by until stopping on his photo.UNDER CLASSMEN 1 (V.O.)He’s the starting first team all district varsity tight end. Coach Strong creates the offense around the tight end every year. He’s pretty much Coach Strong’s go to guy, and not to mention the strongest guy in school for two years in a row.INT. -- HIGH SCHOOL -- DAYJeremy/Jbeall is walking down the hall way at school. In front of the principles office he observes a large Hispanic man picking on a smaller freshman. He shoves the freshmen down and sticks his foot on the poor boy’s face.UNDER CLASSMEN 1 (V.O.)Let’s just say he’s never been accused of taking any shit off of anybody.Jbeall goes to open his locker were the freshman lies. He then looks down at the ground and smiles.JBEALLYou ok?MEXICANFuck off white boy.Jbeall steps over the freshman to shorten the distance between them. He rears his head back and head butts the Hispanic male. The Mexican’s nose breaks and blood gushes everywhere. Jbeall has a face that screams hatred. Jbeall’s face is covered with the Hispanic males blood. The Mexican falls to the ground choking on his own blood. Coach Strong observes what is taking place in the hall way and immediately runs out of the Principals office to interfere. He runs up pulling a handkerchief from his pocket then hands it to Jbeall. Caoch Strong then turns to look at the hispanic squirming in pain on the ground.COACH STRONGWhat the fuck are doing to my tight end spick?Coach Strong stands over the bleeding Hispanic man and uses both hands to grab him by his top buttoned flannel shirt.COACH STRONG (CONT’D)Get your ass off the ground and go to the principles office.Coach Strong kicks the hispanic man in the ass as he walks away then looks to Jbeall.COACH STRONG (CONT’D)Are you ok?Jbeall stands there speechless and wipes the blood from his face with a handkerchief that has the word Strong knitted into it.COACH STRONGGo the field house and get the blood washed off of you.JBEALL(Calm)I’m going right now.COACH STRONG(Demanding)Get focused for the game.EXT. -- INDIAN PRACTICE FIELD -- AFTERNOONUnderclassman 1 points to Jacob Jones/JJsteel who is chatting with his team mates in the shade.UNDERCLASSMAN 1Kneeling to the right of him is Jacob Jones.Underclassmen 2 observes JJsteel telling a joke amongst the group. Quick flashes of student’s year book pictures flip by until stopping on his photo.UNDER CLASSMAN 1 (V.O.)A returning first team all district defensive end. On the field he’s a bone crusher but, off the field he’s a straight up joker. They call him JJ...steel.INT. -- TOMATO BOWL FIELD -- GAME NIGHTJJsteel is lined up on defense waiting for the ball to snap. The Quarter back hikes the ball and attempts to run a quarterback sneak. JJsteel keeps him contained until the final second when he tackles him, lifting him off the ground. In the process of being lifted off the ground the Quarterback loses one of his cleats. He stands over the QuarterbackJJSTEEL(Menacingly)Get you some bitch.The opposing teams Coach rushes at JJsteel and the Referees abruptly interfere and throw flags for the coaches un-sportsmen like conduct.EXT. -- INDIAN PRACTICE FIELD -- DUSKThe underclassman spits and splashes water down his neck from a power aid squirt bottle.UNDER CLASSMAN 1The next one in the middle wearing cowboy boots instead of cleats is BST.Quick flashes of student’s year book pictures flip by until stopping on his photo.UNDER CLASSMAN 2 (VO)What does those BST stand for?UNDER CLASSMAN 1 (VO)Brandon Simpson Terry. They say his mom left him in a dumpster a few weeks after birth. Apparently his mom was such a small town whore they couldn't get any one to admit to creating such a mistake. He’s the biggest ass hole on campus.EXT. -- HIGH SCHOOL -- DAYStudents fill the hall ways. BST is following an overweight female in the crowd. He sticks his foot out and sends her rolling down a big staircase by the cat walk. He stands over her, pointing and laughing. Several students walking by stop and observe Brandon standing over the embarrassed and hurt girl.BSTFat people shouldn’t take the stairs sweet heart.EXT. -- INDIAN PRACTICE FIELD -- AFTERNOONThe under classman continue to gaze at the older players that are relaxing and conversing in the shade.UNDER CLASSMAN 1My advice is just don’t turn your back on him. He picks on pretty much anybody smaller then him, especially girls. He plays no significant role on the team, he’s just part of the crew.UNDER CLASSMAN 2What about that guy?UNDER CLASSMAN 1 (CONT’D)The one on the far left is Brian Mckinny.Brian Kneels on one knee while talking on his cell phone. Quick flashes of student’s year book pictures flip by until stopping on his photo.UNDER CLASSMAN 1 (VO)He is the starting full back, straight A student, smart guy. Not very big, but don’t let that fool you. He packs a punch.EXT. -- TOMATO BOWL GAME DAY -- NIGHTA montage of skin tearing tackles made by Brain.EXT. -- INDIAN PRACTICE FIELD -- DUSKUNDER CLASSMAN 2Who’s that black guy jogging up to the group?Quintilly a tall black male jogs up to the group clustered in the shade. He gives a ghetto hand shake to Brian and takes a knee. Quick flashes of student’s year book pictures flip by until stopping on his photo.UNDER CLASSMAN 1That’s Quintilly they call him Q-tip. He’s a first team all state receiver and the number one college recruit on the team. He’s got so much publicity from the news and college recruits, he’s already started living “that life style.”EXT. -- FIELD HOUSE PARKING LOT -- ATERNOONQ-tip walks up to his brand new truck. He opens the door and reaches across the leather wrapped driver side seat and opens the center console. After pulling his hand out of the center console light glistens off a glass vile of cocaine. He then walks back into the locker room and sits in a metal fold out chair. Q-tip then opens the vile and dabs a line cocaine onto the top of his helmet. After snorting a line off the helmet Q-tip rubs his fingers under his nose while feeling the burning drip. He leans his head back against the cold iron lockers while exhaling, letting out a deep soothing breath.EXT. -- INDIAN PRACTICE FIELD -- DUSKCoach Strong screams across the field to the underclassmen who are watching the seniors in the shade.COACH STRONGLet’s go ladies! We need you on scout team defense.COACH STUNNER(Frustrated)Jake lets go! Pick up the pace. This is two minute offense.Jake bends over holding his abdomen.COACH STUNNER(Concerned)You alright?JAKEI’m fine coach, my stomach is just killing me.COACH STUNNER(Threatening)If you think your stomachs hurting, wait until I shove my size 9 ½ up your ass. Show some hustle! Let’s go!!!!Coach Stunner claps his hands at Jake who struggles to run to the huddle. The senior players in the shade observe Jake’s behavior.JBEALLI’ve always wondered what Stunners talking about when he says his 9 ½.JJSTEELI bet Jake knows. Let’s ask him.JJsteel screams across the field.JJSTEELJake… Jake!… How big is stunners dick?JAKE(Detestable)Fuck you ass holes. That never happened... Ever!Every one in the shade at the same time pretends to be shocked that he took the comment so personal.JJSTEELThat was awkward.JBEALLHe took that alarmingly personal, like when we told BST that we were sure his mom regrets what she had done.BSTFuck you asshole.Jbeall notices BST charging him and steps back. After three steps BST swings his helmet and loses traction in his cowboy boots causing him to slip. He falls to his face. Jbeall kicks him in the right side of the ribs. The varsity players sitting in the shadow notice Jake running across the field holding his stomach. He runs straight through a group of players standing in his way.JAKEMove it white trash.Jake shoves the players out of his way then mumbles to himself.JAKE(Scared)Shit. This is gonna be close.Coach Strong takes off his large straw hat and looks at his watch then blows his whistle.EXT. – PRACTICE FIELD -- NIGHTCOACH STRONGOk, bring it up.The football players run up to the center of the football field and take a knee around Strong.COACH STRONGGentlemen, I need not tell you how vital this game is tomorrow. This is my 8th consecutive year that I have taken this school to the playoffs; I do not plan on losing the first round.Coach Strong uses a towel to wipe the sweat from his head, and then throws it on a trainers face when the trainer is not looking.COACH STRONGWe will not lose the first round. Henderson is one of Jacksonville’s biggest rivals. They are going to taunt you, curse you, and try to fight you. There will be the local news and radio stations present. So, nothing you seniors are not used to. You guys, my Indians, have better class and character than any other team in this district. I expect you all to prove me right.The coach then whips his head around sharply.COACH STRONGHit them in the mouth between the whistle and help them off the ground after. Break it out on my son.Coach Strong’s son holds his gold painted helmet in the air and the team forms a tightly gathered circle and waits.COACH STRONG’S SON(Proudly)One! Two! Three!TEAMTribe!Coach Strong blows his whistle again even louder and looks at the varsity players while the tightly packed team breaks apart.COACH STRONGAlright guys we are out of time take it up to the field house and get ready.The players run up a hill and out of the humid practice field known as “Happy valley”. BST jumps into Brian’s truck and starts it.BSTGet in boys.JJsteel and Jbeall hop in the truck bed. Brian jumps into the truck’s cab with BST.BRAINTake it easy up the hill I don’t want any rocks thrown on it.BST slams the truck into drive and stomps on the accelerator and peels out sending rocks and dirt flying on the underclassmen trying to run up the hill behind them.EXT. -- FIELD HOUSE PARKING LOT -- NIGHTWhen JJsteel, BST, JBeall and Brian pull up to the field house in Brian’s truck they get out and walk into the locker room.INT. -- FIELD HOUSE LOCKER ROOM -- NIGHTAs they approach their lockers the group smells a horrific odor.JSTEELWhat the hell is that?JBEALLYou got to be kidding me.The group follows an unseen trail of fecal matter all the way to the showers. When the group arrives at the edge of the showers, Jake is standing in the back corner with fecal matter smeared all over his butt cheeks. He is trying to wash himself off before the team shows up.JBEALLJake did you honestly shit your pants?JJsteel points and laughs hysterically.JJSTEELCouldn't hold it in?Jake stands humiliated almost in tears while scrubbing the fecal matter off of his lower back and buttucks.JAKE(Angry)Get the fuck out of here! I’m telling my my daddy.At this point the rest of the team makes it into the field house and runs to the shower to see what the commotion is about. Every one starts to point and laugh as a random teammate throws a roll of toilet paper over the crowd and hits jake in the face. Jake slips and falls to the ground and in the process get a mouthful of dirty water. He spits the dirt water out of his mouth. He stays sitting on the ground shaking his head and screaming.JAKEI hate yall, I’m better than all of you.Jake covers his face and begins to cry. JJsteel, Brian and Jbeall stand in front of their blue football lockers while getting dressed to go home for the evening. After Jbeall puts on his shirt he turns to his friends.JBEALLSo are we still on for tonight?JJsteel sitting in a fold out putting on his socks looks up at Jbeall.JJSTEELYeah. I’ll be at Jesse’s house down the road from senior hill, so just hollar at me up when you’re ready.Jbeall look up from Jacob notices BST and Brian behind him.JBEALLOK, how bout yall, are yall going?BRIAN(Encouraged)Hell yea, it’s a tradition baby.BST(Determined)I wouldn’t miss this shit for the world.Jbeall stands up and shouts to the entire team.JBEALLAnyone placing an order from me be sure to have it in mine or JJsteel’s locker, no later then right after the pep rally.Jbeall and JJsteel shut their lockers. In the back of their lockers are bottles of steroids and needles almost blatantly noticeable.EXT. -- INDIAN FIELD HOUSE -- NIGHTThe football Players are walk out of the field house and into the black top parking lot. JJsteel’s, Jbeall’s and Brian’s girlfriends’ are standing beside their cars waiting on their men to come out from practice. Jbeall’s X girlfriend is flirting with an underclassmen a few car lengths away.JBEALLLets plan on being at my house by 11:15. We need to go buy supplies and park our cars at Ashley’s house.JJSTEELWhat color are ya’ll planning on getting?BSTI want neon orange.BRIANLime Green.JBEALLI’m getting the most ridiculous one I can find.JBEALLWhere are you going to be when I call?JJSTEELJess’s house.JBEALLSo you will be just a few houses down from Ashley, that’s easy enough.BRIAN(Charming)Hello ladies.Each girlfriend is overly excited to see their boyfriend. JJsteel, Jbeall and Brian walks up to their girlfriends put their arms around them and begin to make out.Jbeall’s girlfriend glares out of the corner of her eye at Jbealls X.ASHLEYWhy is she here?JBEALLTo piss you off.Jbeall turns his head to the left with his arms still around Ashley.JBEALLDo we all know what time and where we are meeting up tonight?BST(Confident)Nine!Jbeall stares at BST with a look of frustration and agitation.JJSTEEL11:15 Got it.BRIANAshley’s!JBEALLSee ya’ll thenASHLEYSo I take it ya’ll are still meeting at my house tonight.JBEALL(Sarcastic)Yea, since you insisted we did.ASHLEY(Smiling)Shut up.JBEALLI have to go take a shower so, I’ll hit you up on my way to your place.EXT. -- ASHLEY’S HOUSE -- NIGHTJbeall arrives at Ashley’s house and pulls into the driveway. Ashley’s is the biggest on the block, and resembles an old Victorian architecture. No one is outside but every light in the house illuminates the surrounding landscape. Jbeall begins dialing a number on his cell phone.JBEALLWuz up? Where are you? You already have BST? Good. I was concerned if that dumb ass could tell time or not. How close are ya’ll to getting here? Ok, well I’m pulling up to Ashley’s house now. I’m going to hit JJ up and see if he’s ready to rock and roll. He’s just right down the road so get here. Later.Jbeall’s phone beeps and reads incoming call JJsteel.JBEALLJJsteel. You ready?JJSTEEL (V.O.)Oh yeah, call me Picasso because I’m bout to cover senior hill.JBEALLMeet me down the road at Ashley’s we’re all ready to go.EXT. -- JESS’S HOUSE -- NIGHTJJsteel exits of the back door of Jess’s house and closes it behind him.JJSTEELBe there in a second.JJsteel puts the phone into his pocket and walks through the garage. As he leaves he see’s Jess’s elderly neighbor, MRS. Plum, driving slow into her drive way. JJsteel waves with a look of doubt on his face.JJSTEEL(Cautiously)Hi Mrs. Smug, how are you doing tonight?MRS. PLUM(Senile)Go fuck yourself, you damn nigger.Mrs. Plumb spits at JJsteel from across the driveway.JJSTEELJesus, what is your problem? Don’t you know I love you Mrs. Plumb.JJsteel mumbles as he enters his car.JJSTEELYou evil old bitch.EXT. -- ASHLEY’S HOUSE -- NIGHTAshley walks out of the house wearing a white tank top and tight gold cotton shorts.ASHLEY(Energetic)Hey you!JBEALL(Relaxed)Hey sexy.ASHLEYAre you sure I can’t go with you tonight?JBEALLI’m sorry but, your dad would shit a brick if he found out you went with us.Jbeall looks around the driveway.JBEALLI am surprised he even let us park our cars here tonight.ASHLEYPlease?JBEALLYou can walk down the street and watch us.ASHLEYYour an ass.JBEALL(Playfully)Eat me.ASHLEYNo that is your job.Jbeall and Ashley hear the sound of engines roaring. They turn around and notice JJsteel and Brian racing to her driveway. JJsteel arrives first in a sports car smoking a bowl and Brian pulls up with BST standing in the bed of Brian’s jacked up truck. Brian and BST both have beers in their hands. Brian leaps out of the driver seat and pushes his door shut.BRIANLets do this shit.Jbeall walks to the back of his car and pops the trunk.JBEALLAlright gentlemen, I went ahead and took the liberty of buying the supplies.BSTPlease tell me you got the bright colors.Brian reaches into the trunk and grab a can.BRIANYes, lime green.BST(Confused)Where is it?BST is leaned over in the trunk looking for his can of orange paint.JBEALLYour left hand is on it.Jbeall shakes his head and walks away. BST picks up a can and turns it around.BSTYes!!JBeall turns to Ashley.JBEALLI’ll call you when we get finished.ASHLEYY’all be safe.JJsteel is starting to call his girl friend as the group of football players walk to senior hill.JBEALLBrian did you bring the scanner?Jbeall turns to Brian.BRIANNo, my dad let me borrow his two way radio from the fire station.BSTAre you serious?JBEALLThose pigs have no chance on catching us.JJsteel lags behind the group trying to reach his girlfriend on the phone. He angrily runs his hand through his hair with the phone pressed against his ear.JJSTEEL(Frustrated)God Damn it! I just left her house and she’s not answering the phone.JJsteel looks at Jbeall.JBEALLDon’t get me started I have my own female problems. I don’t want any part of yours.The varsity players walk up to a line of towering bushes about a house away from senior hill. Suddenly they stop and notice varsity cheer leaders painting senior hill.JJSTEELWhat!!!JBEALLThat’s not going to happen.JJSTEELWhat are we going to do?JBEALLI have an idea, JJ give me your phone.Brian leans toward JBeall’s shoulder with curiosity.BRIANWhat are you going to do.Jbeall takes the phone from JJsteel then proceeds to call 911.OPERATOR (V.O.)911 what is your emergency?JBEALLYes I live off of Hill Crest and there’s a gang of thugs painting senior hill.OPERATOR (V.O.)All available units we have a ten forty three in progress at the location of senior hill. Ok sir, I have officers in rout as we speak, may I ask who is calling?JBEALLI would like stay anonymous.OPERATOR (V.O.)Ok sir, thank you for the call.The group starts laughing as Jbeall hangs up the phone. They hide behind the bushes and watch as police arrive on the scene. All the girls take off running. The cops jump out of their cars and start form tackling the girls, using excessive force. A scared cheer leader runs across an open yard. A police officer is following right behind in arms reach. He dives to grab her but, is only able to grab her shorts. The girl lays on the ground with her shorts around her ankles. The officer struggles to subdue her.BRIANOh shit! It’s Jax.JBEALLWhere?The cheerleaders flee in every direction from the cops.JJSTEELWhich one?BRIANIn the center of the intersection.The officer is trying to subdue Jax but, she is putting up a fight. The officer pulls his tazer out and shoots Jax. Jax falls to the ground and starts shaking. All the guys behind the bushes start laughing hysterically. A police officer spots the football players standing behind the bushes and walks over startling Jbeall.JBEALLShit!JJSTEELJesus!OFFICER SHOFNERGuys, what the hell are ya’ll doing hiding behind the bushes. Ya’ll are the ones that called in the anonymous complaint ain’t ya.JBEALLThese bitches heard about our prank tonight and tried to beat us to it.SHOFNEROk.. This is how it’s going to go down, chances are we’re going to place all of them under arrest.Officer Shofner looks at his watch.OFFICER SHOFNERRIts 11:30, ya’ll stay put until 11:50, shift change comes on at 12:00. There are normally not any officers out on patrol for about ten to fifteen minutes. So, ya’ll will have a good twenty five minutes to do what ever you have planned.JJSTEELSweet.JBEALLKick ass.Officer Shofner turns and walks three steps. He then turns around with a look of seriousness in his eyes.SHOFNEROh, and guys…BRIANWe know, we never spoke to you.SHOFNERKeep it that way.The group looks through the bush’s at the police cars and notices the girls lined up in hand cuffs. One of the other officers meets Shofner halfway.OFFICER 2(Curious)Where did you go?OFFICER SHOFNER(Cocky)I had to take a piss.Officer 2 pulls Shofner close to him.OFFICER 2Do you think any of these girls will do a little something extra to get those cuffs taken off?Officer Shofner looks at him with disgust.SHOFNERI doubt it. Go transport the girls back to the station.The Police cars drive away with cheerleaders in the back seats. As they get further down the road the red and blue lights are turned off.JBEALLOk, lets do it.The song La Grange from ZZ Top starts to play. The guys run out from behind the bushes. They start to throw down the painting supplies and begin putting on paint suits, opening up paint cans, and pouring paint into pans.INT. -- POLICE STATION -- NIGHTThe cheer leaders get their mug shots taken one at a time. Their hair is tangled in knots and their eye liner accents the tear tracks on their face.EXT. -- SENIOR HILL -- NIGHTThe guys start painting every inch of the street and don’t stop until there is no paint left. As the hill looks completely painted Brian pulls the scanner from his back pocket and raises it to his ear.DISPATCH (V.O.)We have another call from a resident on hill crest, sounds like there are some more kids painting senior hill.OFFICER (V.O.)That’s a big 10-4 dispatch, I’m just a couple of blocks away,DISPATCH (V.O.)What’s your E.A.T. (estimated arrival time)OFFICER (V.O.)About 30 seconds.Brian’s eyes enlarge with nervousness. All the guys look at each other.JBEALLRun!!!The guys take off running across the neighborhood ditching their supplies into a near by creek. They are tripping, sliding and diving behind objects. The group runs into an oak tree shadow casted by the full moon. The group watches the police cars arrive. The officers get out and run around the street looking for the unknown suspects. The players escape further into the shadows and walk back to Ashley’s house.EXT. -- ASHLEY’S HOUSE -- NIGHTJJSTEELI’ll see you guys in the morningJBEALLLater guys.JJsteel, BST and Brian get into their vehicles and drive away. Ashley comes out of the back door of her house.ASHLEYWhat’s up loser?JBEALLWhat are you stalking me?ASHLEYNo I was studying…JBEALLWhat do I smell on your breath.ASHLEYI had a few beers while I was studying.JBEALLEighteen and already drinking.ASHLEYOh shut up. You and all your friends started drinking at the age of fourteen, and you bought me the beers anyways.JBEALLWe’re not talking about Jbeall, we’re talking about Ashley.ASHLEYYou coming in?JBEALLYeah, I’m sure your dad would love me coming in at one o’clock in the morning with his youngest daughter. I’ll pass.ASHLEYOk, well I’m going to bed.Ashley walks up and kisses Jbeall good night.JBEALLSweet dreams.Jbeall opens the car door and his massive tricep flexes as he gets into his car.INT. -- HIGH SCHOOL GYM -- MORNINGThe high school band is setting up behind Duece and Bucky who are sitting at a table with their headset microphones on. Cheer leaders in full uniform pass back and forth in front of Deuce and Bucky’s sound table.DUECEGood Morning Jacksonville! I can taste tonight’s sweet victory! This is Deuce and Bucky coming to you on a special morning edition of sports news.BUCKYI don’t want the Indians to beat those losers, I want them to murder’em.DUECEI hope our boys got a great night sleep.INT. -- JJSTEEL’S BEDROOM -- MORNINGJJ’s alarm radio comes on to wake him up, it is the familiar sounds of the Deuce and Bucky talk show. The inside of JJsteel’s bedroom is huge. He slides off a king size bed and slams a muscle milk protein shake then lets out a belch that echoes.BUCKY (V.O.)Well I know they got more sleep than the varsity cheerleaders.DUECE (V.O.)They spent the night in Jail for trying to paint senior hill.JJsteel walks into his rest room and cracks a smile.BUCKY (V.O.)They did one hell of a job.EXT. -- SENIOR HILL -- MORNINGA car stops at the bottom of the hill and a woman gets out with her kids and takes a picture in front of the hill. One car completely runs through a stop sign and nearly slams into the back of another car.DUECE (V.O.)Well those girls sure do love the numbers forty one and especially forty four. Any one driving up to school today is going to be looking at the names JBeall and JJsteel.Senior Hill is covered with Paint but, the names Jbeall and JJsteel are the two largest and most visible.BUCKY (V.O.)For those of you who have been stuck up a penguins ass in Antarctica Jbeall and JJsteel are without a doubt.DUECE (V.O.)Without a doubt.INT. -- HIGH SCHOOL GYM -- MORNINGDeuce and Bucky sit at their sound table while Bucky pours a flask of vodka into his coffee. Deuce watches the cheer leader stretch and warm up.BUCKY (V.O.)Two of the most talented players to play high school football. Hell, Coach Strong calls them Hanz and Franz and do you know why? When you look at these guys physiques you quickly figure it out.INT. -- JJSTEEL’S REST ROOM -- MORNINGJJsteel Stand in front of his sink brushing his teeth with his shirt off.DUECE (V.O.)Hey, do you think Jbeall would want to maybe hang out with us one night? We could drink a couple beers talk football.JJsteel stands at the sink putting on his deodorant and shakes his head in doubt of Deuces comment.BUCKY (V.O.)Well you can ask him when you see him at the pep rally. Those of you tuning in we are talking Indian football and baby you are listening to..DUECE (V.O.)Duece and Bucky talk show.INT. -- HIGH SCHOOL GYM -- MORNINGBUCKYRemember guys if it ain’t Wrangler it ain’t worth wearing. Wrangler available any fine local Wal-Mart. So go get a pair.EXT. -- FIELD HOUSE -- MORNINGJJsteel walks out of the field house wearing a wife beater and jeans. Jbeall pulls up to his reserved parking spot and hops out of his car wearing nothing but his flip flops and boxer briefs. Jbeall stands beside his car and puts on his jeans and shirt.JJSTEELDo you feel like going to the pep rally?JBEALLNot really man. I have the biggest drink list for the party tonight. We’re not going to have time to go to the store after the game. I want to get a few bottles of liquor.JJSTEELYour right, liquor closes at 9:00 PM.Rap music starts playing and people are walking around the back parking lot. Students are everywhere and two cheer leaders twirl around lifting their cheer leading skirts in the air. The cheerleaders are not wearing any bottoms. A group of several students of all races are standing in the back of a truck dancing to the music that is being played. Coach Minyard and Coach Strong stand in the middle of the parking lot sipping their morning coffee.COACH MINYARDIs that coach Carpenter?Coach Carpenter is in the back of a truck freak dancing with a hot cheerleader. Underclassman 1 and underclassmen 2 are observing the pre pep rally riot.UNDERCLASSMEN 2Who is that big guy in the back of the truck with the cheerleader?Quick flashes of faculty year book pictures flip by until stopping on Coach Carpenters photo.UNDER CLASSMAN 1That’s Coach Carpenter, it’s his first year here at Jacksonville. He’s been assigned to coach Jbeall’s tight end position. When he’s not coaching, he is out with Jbeall and the senior guys getting in trouble.INT. -- STRIP CLUB -- NIGHTCoach Carpenter is giving Jbeall and the rest of the senior football players a grand tour of a strip club.COACH CARPENTERNow see gentlemen all this could be yours for a small price.A waitress walks by and gives coach carpenter a beer.WAITRESSCan I get you boys a drink?COACH CARPENTERBring them all beers and a round of shots. Put it on my tab.The group starts walking to the stage.COACH CARPENTERThis is my designated area.Carpenter has a red leather chair by the stage that is sectioned off by chains. The team walks up to the stage and stares at the strippers like drugged seals. The stripper bends down from the stage and rubs her breast in Jbeall’s face. Jbeall has a look of pure nirvana on his face. He then looks to his right.JBEALLJJ no!JJsteel crams his face into the crack of a strippers butt. Jbeall looks disgusted and the teammates react the same. Brian starts to curl his nose and pucker his lips.BRIAN (V.O.)That’s not healthy.Coach Carpenter walks up to the group.COACH CARPENTERNow that’s what I’m talking about.Carpenter walks up to JJsteel, removes his face, and replaces it with is own.Coach Carpenter pulls his face out.STRIPPER 1Hey coach.COACH CARPENTERHey Brandy.STRIPPER 2How’s my sexy football coach.COACH CARPENTERHe’s doing horny and ready to give you his entire pay check.Coach Carpenter slaps them on the butt as they walk away.EXT. -- FIELD HOUSE PARKING LOT -- MORNINGCoach Carpenter’s hip thrusting has become more aggressive with the cheerleaders.COACH MINYARD(Insulted)Do you want me to do something about this?COACH STRONGNo, as long as he takes care of Jbeall and Steel and keeps them out of trouble I could care less what he does.Jbeall and JJsteel both get into Jbeall’s car and put on their seat belts in unison. JBeall starts the engine to his car and coach Newton walks up tapping on the driver side window. Jbeall rolls the window down as coach Newton leans in with a dip dripping out of the left side of his mouth.NEWTONWhere do you boys think yall are going?Jbeall looks offended but continues to stare straight ahead through his windshield.JBEALLGet the hell off my car.NEWTONIf you boys don’t go to the pep rally, you boys aren’t playing tonight, and you can bet your ass I’ll make sure of that.JJSTEELYou’re not even a coach any more. You’re the lawn mower man for the school district.Newton points to himselfNEWTON(Offended)You shut your damn mouth. My job title is president project coordinator over landscapingJJsteel and Jbeall sit in their car seats laughing uncontrollably.JBEALLWhy are you still wearing a whistle around your neck.Newton becomes offended and spit flies out of his mouth when he replies.NEWTONWhat did you say boy?Jbeall wipes the tobacco spit off of the left side of his face. JBeall remains sitting but, becomes enraged. Coach Strong yells across the parking lotSTRONGNewton you better get your ass to the tomato bowl and get that football field ready for kick off.NEWTON(Scared)You got it coach.Newton bends back down.NEWTONYou boys better watch your ass.As Jbeall drives away he reaches out and snatches the whistle from around Newtons neck causing him to jog beside the car, Newton eventually falls to the ground.NEWTONGive me back my whistle you punk.The whistle from around Newton’s neck breaks as Jbeall drives off. Jbeall hands the whistle to JJsteel, JJsteel takes the whistle and puts it down the front of his pants. He then causelessly passes it to Jbeall who throws it out the window. Newton grabs it off the ground.COACH NEWTONSon of a bitches.Newton looks the whistle over and places into his mouth. He takes it out of his mouth and looks at it for a moment then proceeds to put it back into his mouth. He turns around and starts walking back to the field house.NEWTONThat taste so familiar.EXT. -- GUARD SHACK -- MORNINGJbeall and JJsteel pull up to the guard shack on campus. The guard, Butch, is in the building watching a pornographic film with his feet propped up on the counter. He see’s the two players pull up.BUTCH(Cocky)Well, well, well look who decided to come see me.Butch has a hole in his shirt and sweat stains under his arm pits.JJSTEELButch what’s up?BUTCHNothing much Hollywood. Where are ya’ll going today.JBEALLIts Friday baby, time to make a beer run.Butch pats his pockets down knowing he does not have any money.BUTCH(Shocked)Damn it guys, I don’t have my wallet.JBEALLDon’t worry, you want your usual?BUTCHYou bet ya, I only drink the finest.JBeall chuckles.JBEALLPeace.JBeall starts to drive away and JJsteel hangs his head out the car window.JJSTEELI would like to have my porn collection back some time this week.BUTCHI’ll think about it.Newton pulls up to the guard shack. Butch senses a vehicle driving up behind him, he turns around with an angry face and runs up to the driver side window holding his hand up for Newton to stop.BUTCHStop!!!! Where the hell do you think your going?NEWTON(Aggravated)Were I go every friday.BUTCHNot with out pass your not.NEWTONI’m the president project landscaping coordinator for this here school district.Butch starts laughing.BUTCHI don’t give a shit Newton, no pass, no exit.Newton hocks back and spits into a cup filled to the rim with old tobacco juice.NEWTONGod Damn It!!!Newton throws his truck into reverse spilling the juice on his seat and arm. He backs up then turns his truck around and drives back onto campus. Newton observes Butch through his rearview mirror screaming.BUTCHThis is my campus sweetheart.INT. -- JBEALL’S CAR -- MORNINGJbeall and JJsteel are heading down a country road about a hundred miles an hour. JBeall looks out the window then down at his phone as if something is troubling him. He bites his lip.JJSTEELMan what’s going on with you and Jax, it seems like one week ya’ll are together and the next ya’ll hate each other.Jbeall turns from the window and looks at JJsteel.JBEALL(Depressed)I know, tell me about it. I keep catching her doing petty shit.JJSTEALLike?JBEALLLike going over to other guys houses. I check her phone when she’s not looking and it’s the same guys over and over.JJSTEEL(Careless)Ditch the bitch.Jbeall makes a complicated face.JBEALLI try, every time I do a few weeks later I calm down about everything because its what I said, petty stuff. It doesn’t seem petty at the time but in my conscious I ask myself if what she’s done is really worth throwing our good times away. Does that make any since?JJsteel lifts his eye brow while he stares at the road ahead.JJSTEEL(Humble)Yea, of course.JBeall looks a JJsteel with a grin.JBEALLNow don’t get me wrong, if I walked in and she was getting doubled stuffed by two guys, you bet I’d toss her ass, but until then it’s all forgivable mistakes.JJsteel laughs.JJSTEELSo what’s up with Ashley then?JBEALLAshley is cool as shit. She knows how to have a good time and she’s the complete opposite of Jax but, I hold the same question as before. Is Ashley worth throwing everything away between Jax and I?JJSTEEL(Agitated)Dude, I don’t want to hear anymore, I’m completely lost.JBEALLYou brought it up.JJSTEELI know, if you want my honest opinion I would go for Jax’s mom. She’s so fucking hot.JJsteel clenches his jaw.JSTEEL(Aggressive)God!! I would give anything.JBEALL(Shocked)I didn’t tell you?JJSTEELTell me what?JBEALLAbout me and Jax’s mom.JJSTEEL(offended/sarcastic)NO!!! You must have let that one slip by.JBEALLGet this.EXT. -- JAX’S LAKE HOUSE -- NIGHTJbeall walks up to the front door and lets himself in. He notices no one is in the house so he makes his way to the back deck. Jbeall notices Jax’S mom dangling her legs off the deck while sipping on a wine cooler.JBEALL (V.O.)I went over to Jaxs’ house because I thought she was getting out of cheer leading practice at 9:00pm but, it was actually 10:00. I walk through the house and to the back dock over looking the lake and she’s sitting on the edge of the deck drinking one of those bitch drinks, right.JBEALLWhere is Jax?JAX’S MOM(flirtatious)Jax isn’t going to be home for an hour.Jax mom throws the hair back out of her face and smiles.JAX MOMWhy don’t we go out on the jet ski just to kill a few minutes.Jax’s mom straddles the jet ski first, Jbeall then follows and puts his arms around her to hold on.JBEALL (V.O.)So we are out in the cove driving around slow. Then she grabs my hand and places it on her fucking left tit. Then she pulls my face around her shoulder and starts kissing me. I say fuck it and stick my hand down the front of her swimsuit. Let’s just say she was louder than the jet ski engine.INT. -- JBEALL’S CAR -- MORNINGJJsteel grabs Jbeall by the arm and starts to jump up and down from the excitement.JJSTEELDude are you serious?JBEALL(Shouts)HELL NO I’M NOT SERIOUS!Jbeall looks down and notices JJsteel holding on to his right fore arm.JBEALLGet the fuck off my arm. I’m telling you a sex story and you start to hold my arm, and not to mentionJbeall looks down at JJsteel’s crotch and his eyes enlarge.JBEALLYou have the biggest hard on I’ve ever seen.It is very evident that JJsteel has a massive boner.JJSTEEL(Depressed)Damn you Jbeall. You got me all wrapped up in to the story.JBEALLI can see that.JJsteel and Jbeall pull up to the beer store.JJSTEELYou have the list and the money?Jbeall slaps the back of his right jean pocket.JBEALLYeah it’s all in my back pocket.JJsteel jogs to catch up with JbeallJJSTEELMan this party is going to be sick.JBEALLYou better start worrying about the game, nobody’s going to want to get wasted after a loss.The entrance bell rings to the beer store. The beer store owner, Boone, acts like a lunatic.INT. – BEER STORE – MORNINGBOONE(Screams)What’s up guys? Yall come here to get ready for an after party.JBEALLWhat’s up baby, there’s what we need. Oh yeah, throw Butch’s usual in there also.JJSTEELYou coming to the game Boone?BOONE(Insulted)Hell no! I don’t give a shit about football. I just like you high school kids spending your money in my store.JJSTEELThrow in some of that Lucas as well Boone.Jbeall looks at the lucas beer salt in JJsteel’s hand and shakes his head in confusion.BOONEWe have seven thirty packs of bud light, five cases of keystone, four cases of sky blue, 11 bottles of boones, two bottles of Jim Bean, and a case of natural ice.BOONETotal comes to 437.66 dollars, out of 550.00.A beer store worker walks out of the fridge area as Boone throws the cash in the register.BEER STORE WORKER(Concerned)You need any ice man?Jbeall stands there in deep thought for a second.JBEALLNo. We didn’t bring any coolers.EXT. – BEER STORE -- MORNINGJbeall, JJsteel and the beer store worker are standing behind Jbeall’s car with the trunk open. The back of the trunk is crammed with boxes of alcohol. Jbeall shuts the trunk and hands the beer store worker a twenty dollar bill for his tip.BEER STORE WORKERThanks player.Jbeall and JJsteel are in the car heading back to the high school. JJsteel pops open two beers and hands one to Jbeall.JJSTEELMan I’m wondering about that porn collection I let butch borrow. I don’t think he’s going to give it back.JBEALLJess still won’t let you.JJsteel abruptly interupts.JJSTEEL(SHOUTS)Nope.JBEALLI’m telling you that bitch is a lesbian. Your cock scares her.JJSTEELReal funny not everyone gets to fuck a girl with a cucumber on a daily basis.Jbeall smirks as he turns to look at JJsteel.JBEALLI remember when your parents thought you had a porn addiction and held that intervention at your grand parents’ house.JJSTEELDon’t start about my addictions, let’s talk about the vicodin and whisky binge you were on. How long was that, three months.Jbeall looks out of the corner of his eye like he’s trying to remember.INT. -- JBEALL’S HOUSE -- NIGHTJbeall is standing at the kitchen counter with his back to the room. A half full whiskey bottle stands to the right of Jbeall, he is crushing vicodin pills into a large mound. He scrapes the mound of vicodin powder off the counter and mixes it into his glass of whisky. Jbeall finishes the glass and slides it into the kitchen sink. The glass breaks, He looks at his dogs.JBEALLYa’ll readyThe dogs turn their heads in confusion.EXT. – JBALL’S HOUSE – NIGHTJbeall and his dogs walk out of the back of the house and down the drive way. He and his dogs are walking down a side walk beside a house. Jbeall looks down at his dogs.JBEALL(Intoxicated)You guys are getting really good at this, really yall are.Jbeall can barely walk up to the front door. His dogs follow him. He looks at the front door and then at the dogs.JBEALL(Cocky)Are yall ready for this shit? These mother fuckers are never gonna figure it out.Jbeall rings the door bell, he stumbles down the stairs into the front yard. The dogs follow. Jbeall elaborately swings his arm over his shoulder, motioning to the dogs.JBEALLEverybody run, guys lets go.Jbeall makes it a few steps into the yard and passes out with the bottle of whisky in his hand. The owners of the house come out. The husband stands at the top of the stair case, while the wife walks down in to the yard wearing her night gown. The wife readjusts her night gown and stands there with her arms crossed looking to see if any neighbors are watching.WIFE OF THE HOUSE(Embarrassed)Get your ass back in the house and go to bed; you have school in the morning.The wife looks back at her husband.WIFE OF THE HOUSE(Demands)Come help me get our son out of the front yard.Jbeall lays on the ground with the whiskey bottle in his hand, the dogs walk up and sniff him. Jbeall awakens and lifts his head off the ground then mumbles.JBEALL(Dramatic)Run before they put you in the kettle.Jbeall drops his head to the ground and passes out completelyINT. -- JBEALL’S CAR -- MORNINGJbeall and JJsteel are lost within themselves as they gaze at to the road.JBEALLI miss those day’s.JJSTEELI think you need to keep your addictions under control.Jbeall turns to JJsteel.JBEALLYeah you are one to talk. You have every Jenna Jameson movie ever made. A penis pump and a blow up doll. Your addicted to sex.JJsteel turns to JbeallJJSTEELYou are full of shit.JBEALLI bet power pile drive that blow up doll every night like a jack hammer.Jbeall point to the dashboard as he makes his point.JBEALLNow that my friend is addiction.JJSTEELIf we are married it’s not an addiction.Jbeall and JJsteel show back up to campus. They drive up to the guard shack and roll down their windows. Butch walks over and leans down to JJsteel and Jbeall’s level.BUTCHHey guys, how did it go?JJsteel reach’s into the back of the car and grabs Butch’s case of beer. He hands the case of beer to Jbeall, who hands the case of beer through the window to butch.BUTCHThat’s what I’m talking about.JBEALLI don’t see how you drink that shit.JJSTEELHow long has the pep rally been out for?Butch stands up and looks at the gymnasium with a case of beer in his right hand.BUTCHI don’t think it’s even let out. Yall be good.Jbeall and JJsteel drive to the back of the school parking lot and park in Jbeall reserved parking spot. The pep rally lets outs, a swarm of students exit the building. The principles are walking around the parking lot telling students to get to class.PRINCIPLESEverybody has five minutes to get back to class, or I start handing out invitations to Saturday school.INT. -- FIELD HOUSE -- MORNINGBST and Brian are standing in the field house talking about the up coming order that Jbeall and JJsteel are putting together for the football team. Brian stands there wearing his game jersey running shoe laces through his cleats.BRIANWhat did you order from Jbeall and JJsteel?Bst sits in a metal fold out chair relaxed.BSTJust Sust. 500 and dbol.BSTHow bout you.BRIANEnanthate and deca.While Brian and BST are speaking, several team mates are coming up to Jbeall and JJsteel’s lockers sliding steroid orders in the cracks of the locker doors.BST(Concerned)You ever worry about getting drug tested and this shit showing up.BRIANNo… the UIL doesn’t test for roids, at least not now they don’t…BSTWhy is that?Brian cracks a smile.BRIAN(Confident)Cost too much.Brian grabs a nearby chair and takes a seat next to BST.Not only would they have to test all the football teams, freshman through varsity but, they would have to test all the cheerleaders, charmers the band and pretty much anybody that steps onto a field or court. That my friend gets expensive when you’re talking about testing the entire state of Texas.Brian slaps BST’s leg stands up and walks away.BRIANSee yall in docs office.Brian walks out of the locker room. BST looks behind himself and watch’s Brian leave the room. BST turns back around and takes off his shirt and opens his locker.EXT. -- FIELD HOUSE PARKING LOT -- MORNINGJbeall and JJsteel are walking across the parking lot, Coach Carpenter approach’s them.COACH CARPENTERI need you two to get focused on the game tonight, I know there’s a lot of a distraction today so go do whatever it is ya’ll do and relax.Jbeall smiles as he pretends to punch Coach Carpenter in the gutJBEALLWhere in the hell do you think we are trying to go?INT. -- LOCKER ROOM -- MORNINGJbeall and JJsteel both slowly walk into the field house. Jeremy and Jacob walk up to their lockers and open them. At the same time several envelopes labeled (steroid orders) fall out of both lockers.JBEALLSales are up this week.JJSTEELYea, I guess coach’s speech about the team doing whatever it takes to get faster and stronger for the playoffs helped.JBEALLWell he’s not taking any profit, I’ll consider that free advertising.JJSTEELYou know if he ever found out what we were doing, he would kick us off the team.JBEALLIt’s more of a don’t ask, don’t tell mind set.Jbeall bends down and scoops all the envelopes up and puts them back into his locker.JJsteel Stands there and texts on his cell phone. Jbeall grabs his towl and strips down to take a shower.INT. --SHOWER ROOM -- MORNINGJbeall stands underneath a shower head letting the steaming water run down his body. JJsteel and BST race each other into the shower in order to get the warmer shower head. Jbeall turns around slowly. BST beats JJsteel to the shower desired shower head.JJSTEELBST you never use the shower.BST turns his head over his right shoulder.BSTI know because you are always in it.JJsteel stand behind BST impatiently waiting for him to finish.BST points across the room to the other shower headsBSTWhy don’t you just use the other shower head..JJSTEELEat shit, you know all those other showers are ice cold.Jbeall turns aroundJBEALLyou can share mine with me.JJsteel starts to walk over toJbeall stares at him.JBEALLYou think I’m serious?... Really?JJSTEELFuck both of you, hurry up I’m freezing.BST shakes his head.BSTNo, I’m taking my time on this one.JJsteel stands behind BST with his arms crossed shivering. BST turns to JBeall.BSTYou don’t think D-bol is going to fuck with my blood pressure do you?JBEALLYeah, its one of the side effects.Jbeall is quickly distracted by JJsteel. Jbeall notices a yellow stream flowing over BST’s right shoulder. Jbeall tries not to stare. BST makes pleasurable faces as he dips his head under the hot water. JJsteel stands behind BST urinating on his shoulders and head, but because BST’s head is down under the hot water he does not notice. Jbeall leans on the shower wall laughing uncontrollably.BST(Insulted)Side effects are not funny Jbeall, I take them serious.JJsteel is still standing behind BST urinating on him. The yellow stream finally trickles down and JJsteel gives a pleasurable shake. BST walks out of the shower.BSTIt is amazing how a hot shower refresh’s you in the morning. I’ll see yall in Doc’s office.BST exits the shower drying his hair. JJsteel steps under the warm shower head. Jbeall just smiles and turns to the wall.JBEALLYou know he probably really needed that shower.JJSTEELYour right he did.Jbeall and JJsteel exit the showers.INT. -- FIELD HOUSE DRESSING ROOM -- MORNINGJbeall and JJsteel stand in front of their lockers fully dressed in their Jeans and game jerseys. Jbeall bends down and pulls together all the steroid orders and places them under his shirt. Jbeall and JJsteal shuts their lockers and exist the locker room.INT. -- DOC’S TRAINING ROOM -- MORNINGJBeall and JJSteel walk into the training room (Docs Office). All of the starters on the football team are laid up and relaxing on the examining tables. JBeall walks into Doc’s office and grabs a bottle of pain killers out of Doc’s desk. He then walks back into the main room were the players are congregated. JJsteel is standing in the middle of the room putting the TV channel on 3. Jbeall walks up to an examining table and lays the envelopes down. JJsteel turns around and questions the players.JJSTEELWho wants to watch a movie.QUINTILLYWhat the fuck you putting in steel?JJSTEELA suprise.Q-tip/Quintilly, the star receiver, is sitting on a table talking to a trainer named Jenny with his arms around her waste grabbing her butt. The team mates are behind Jennie, pointing and whispering. Everyone in the room comes to see what the pointing is about. The team spots a large blood stain on the back of Jenny’s pants.It appears that she has started her period and did not know it. Quintilly is propt up on the table acting like a pimp. When Jenny walks away JJsteel slides up to Quintilly and whispers into his ear. Quintilly looks towards Jenny walking away and his eye’s light up. Jbeall is straddling the examining table with three organized stacks of money in front of him. Jbealls picks up his cell phone and begins to dial a number. The phone rings.DRUG DEALER (V.O.)What’s up baby boy?JBEALLWhat’s up.DRUG DEALER (V.O.)What do you have for me this week?Jbeall picks up a near by peice of paper and holds it in front of his face.JBEALLI need twelve test enenthates, ten decas, fifteen sust five hundred, five dbol, four EQ, and five whinny.DRUG DEALERI don’t know why you white boys fuck with that whinny.JBEALLBecause us white boys aren’t born with six packs like you black boys are.DRUG DEALERIs that it?JBEALLI need a total.DRUG DEALERAight. It’s sixty for the test, seventy for the deca, seventy five for the sust, one hundred for the dbols, seventy five for the EQ and one hundred for the whinny tabs. The total comes to three thousand eight hundred and forty five dollars and zero cents.JBEALLI already have the money so its whenever you want to meet.DRUG DEALERI’ll call you sometime this weekend with the order and a drop location.JBEALLSounds like a plan.Jbeall hangs up the phone and tosses it on the table he is straddling. Jbeall puts the money into one big envelope. He then opens the vicodin bottle and takes some for himself. Jbeal passes the bottle to JJsteel, who is sitting on an examining table across the room from him. JJsteel then walks around dispensing the pills to every individual player in the room. Doc walks in the room.DOCIs anybody going to class today?Everyone looks around but, no one speaks up.DOCNobody? If you guys stay in here yall can’t be going in and out, I’m not getting my ass chewed out by the other teacher.Brian sits on an examining table cleaning out his ears.BRIANWe’ll be ok.Doc leaves the room and shuts the door behind him.JBEALLJJteel what movie you putting in?JJSTEELThe Program baby!Brian turns around on the examining tableBRIANNice selection.Jbeall walks over to the thermostat and cranks the air conditioner down to 50 degrees and turns the lights out. Everyone has a place to lay and a pillow with a blanket to cover up with. Everyone passes out during the movie and doesn’t wake up until school is over. The 3:15pm bell rings and everybody awakens for the pre-game meetings. Jbeall and JJsteel slowly walk out of Doc’s office and into the locker roomINT. -- FIELD HOUSE LOCKER ROOM -- AFTERNOONCoach Strong walks in to the football locker room and starts gathering up the players.I expect every player to be dressed and with their position coach for pre game meetings. Everybody needs to have there bags packed and ready to get on the bus after the meetings.JJsteel, Jbeall and the rest of the players make their way to the meeting room.INT. -- MEETING ROOM -- AFTERNOONThe players are sitting in a stadium style seating arrangement facing a dry erase board. Coach Strong points to several plays mapped out on the dry erase board.COACH STRONGGuys I can’t stress enough no turn overs.Coach Strong looks a Jake the quarterback.COACH CARPENTERGot that Jake.JAKEYes sir.COACH STRONGIf we win the toss we are going to differ.Coach carpenter looks at JJsteel who is half asleep wrapped in a blanket. Coach Stunner walks in and uses his hand as a phone against his ear.COACH STUNNERStrong your wife on the phone.Coach Strong jogs out of the meeting room.COACH CARPENTERIf we get close on the goal line Strong will call you in Steal You and Jbeall are going to run Hanz and Franz the goal line play we have practiced.Jbeall hears his name and half way pays attentionCOACH CARPENTERNow guys this is not the same team ya’ll played last year. They got a new coach and I’m sure he has some tricks up his sleeve. We need to be watching out for the reverse and QB keeper. Their QB likes to take it and run.JBEALLUnlike ours.The team snickers.JAKEHey coach are we going to work the option or air.COACH CARPENTERJake shut the fuck up I’m talking.Jake lowers his head and becomes solemnly quite.COACH CARPENTERWe are going to air it out tonight. Quintilly you are going to have to just try your best to catch whatever the hell Jake throws at you, and Jake try not to shit your pants tonight.The team laughs at Jake as he holds his head defiantly then whispers to himself.JAKE (WHISPERING)It’s a joke they are just jealous of you.JJsteel sits there with his eyes shut, wrapped in a blanket but awake.JJSTEELI poo pood in my panties.Coach Carpenter dramatically rubs it in Jakes face. The team laughs.COACH CARPENTERJBeall I want you to hold on to that ball like it’s your orphan child. No harm meant by that one BST.Brandon is laying on the cement floor in the corner with a dip of snuff in his mouth and a cup in his hand.JBEALLBastard.BSTI fucking heard that Jbeall don’t talk to me like I am God Damn retard.BST begins to choke on is dip.COACH CARPENTERJbeall and JJsteel wake up.Coach Carpenter walks over to where Jbeall is asleep and drops a small piece ice on his head. Jbeall then picks Coach Carpenter up and throws him over his shoulder. He walk out of the room.JBEALLAm I going to have to give you one of my famous East Texas ass woopens?COACH CARPENTERPut me down! My hemorrhoids!Coach Carpenter recovers and Jbeall pats him on the back. He starts to bend his large stomach back up while holding his back.COACH CARPENTERListen Jbeall I’m just trying to get you boys psyched up and ready kill those sons of bitches tonight.Jbeall looks very calm and collected as he responds.JBEALLOh its always quietest before the storm.COACH CARPENTERI want you boys to go on that field tonight like a couple of killers scalping and raping. You understand me.BST walks over to Coach Carpenter.BSTI’m going to put a razor blade in my shoulder pads that way on kick off I’ll cut some ones neck wide open and they won’t even know it.Coach Carpenter looks at BSTCOACH CARPENTERBST you are a God Damn idiot. Just stick to the special teams and work on your one and only position.BST grins and his teeth are yellow and full of tobacco.COACH CARPENTERBrush your teeth while you are at it.INT. -- COACHES OFFICE -- DAYCoach Strong walks into the room and immediately sits in his chair which has back beads on it. He takes off his hat exposing his bald head then sips from a mug and looks at Coach Carpenter.COACH STRONGWill you go find everyone who is not in my office and tell them to get in here.Carpenter jogs out of the coaches office.Coach Strong the looks at Jbeall and JJsteel who are walking in the office.COACH STRONGI was just on the phone with the head coach for Miami. He told me to send him the tape of tonights game. I hope you boys are ready to crack some skulls.Jbeall looks at JJsteel and gives him a nod.JJSTEELAlreadyPlayers start to pour into the coach’s office and Coach Strong gets out of his chair and walks to the door and screams.COACH STRONGSomebody tell my son to get in her before I make him sit in the stands with his mommy.Most of the team including Jbeall and JJsteel are sitting on the coach’s floor wearing their football pants and a Tribe shirt. Once all the Players and coaches fill in the room. Brian shuts the door.COACH STRONGCoach Stunner go over the offense.Coach Strong leans back in his chair as Coach Stunner gets up and begins to shift his weight from side to side like he is nervous but, excited about at the same time.COACH STUNNERAlright, we are going to air it out tonight. Trips forty nine post. Ok that play is going to be the boom right out the bat. We are going to use our speed on the end to stretch out their defense and when they least expect it. That’s when we are going to hit them in the mouth. Jbeall this is going to be your big night tonight.Coach Stunner takes out a pen and starts drawing X’s and O’s.COACH STUNNERI don’t know if Coach Strong has already told you but, there are going to be some scouts out. It’s a big game this we can’t afford to lose, so we are going to have to hold on to that football, no mistakes. Here is an example of the goal line play we worked on called Hanz and Franz.Coach Stunner points at JJsteel and Jbeall.COACH STUNNERWe are going to stack you two on the week side and run it right behind you. It’s a guaranteed score. Coach Minyard anything our defense needs to know about.Coach Minyard Looks at the team through his thick bifocals.COACH MINYARDNope.COACH STRONGCoach Carpenter, go ahead and start the highlight video.Coach Carpenter leans overand presses play on the VCR. The lights are turned off, and the TV in front of the room starts to play an eighties rock song as the team sits mesmerized studying the major hits from the previous game a week before.After the video is over the meeting lets out and every player is locked in and completely quiet. No one says a word as all the players walk onto the bus and take their seats. Coach Strong is the last to load the bus.COACH STRONGTake this time gentlemen to focus on what we need to do tonight. I want you to through each play mentally, there shouldn’t be any doubt come kick off. You guys are a better team then they are and ya’ll are about to prove me right.The bus takes off creeping slowly through the school parking lot and past the guard shack. The guard, Butch, is past out on the center of the floor with his feet holding the door opened. Beer cans of natural ice are easily viewable from the bus. JJsteel and Jbeall’s eyes light up from shock at the idea that they help to create Butch’s extreme intoxication.EXT. -- TOMATO BOWL ENTRANCE -- DUSK (PRE GAME)Montage: The bus slowly cruises into the entrance of the tomato bowl. An aggressive song starts to play and does so until the end of the montage. Coach Strong stands up and waves his arm for the players to follow him off the bus.Each player gets off the bus one by one. The team starts to walk to the locker room as a group. The opposing team is already at the stadium and standing a few feet from the Tomato Bowl locker room. One of the opposing team’s players, number eighty four, spits on Jbeall. Jbeall mouths the players number to himself.The Indians become outraged that Jbeall was spit on. A quick brawl breaks lose. During the brawl, one of the opposing teams’ coaches grabs JJsteel’s jersey. Coach carpenter comes from behind the bus and throw’s an empty water cooler at the coach’s head. The water cooler knocks the coach to the ground.Carpenter is irate and ready to fight. Jbeall looks to Coach Carpenter and notices a smeared clump of a white substance under his nose. Jbeall’s eyes light up as he motions for Coach Carpenter to wipe his nose. Coach Carpenter wipes his nose with his thumb and licks it.INT. -- TOMATO BOWL LOCKER ROOM -- EVENINGMontage continued: Coach Carpenter walks to the front door from the Tomato Bowl locker room. He motions to Jbeall and JJsteel to follow. When JJsteel and Jbeall round the corner in the Tomato Bowl locker room, Coach Carpenter stands with his clip board in hand propped up on his stomach. There is a referee in the back of the locker room using the urinal with his back turned. There are four cut lines of cocaine awaiting the two players. Coach Carpenter smiles and waves JJsteel and Jbeall over then hands each a straw. Coach Carpenter leans down with his face on the clip board and snorts a line. JBeall then walks up snorts his line and JJsteel follows. Coach Carpenter notices an extra line of cocaine and begins to look around the locker room.EXT. -- TOMATO BOWL -- NIGHTMontage continued: Jbeall leads Coach Carpenter and JJsteel out of the locker room. All three are holding their nose from the burn of the lines they snorted. A few seconds pass by, the Referee Walks out of the locker room wiping nose.EXT. -- TOMATO BOWL -- NIGHT (GAME TIME)Montage continued: Every player is suited out in there football armor. The Team is in a single file line, like emotionless warriors preparing for battle. They walk in to a large tepee then start to rock back and forth to a rhythm. The Team bursts ut the fog filled tepee rushing out onto the football field. Cheer leaders are in front of them running with the team.The team meets in the center of the field, Jbeall is in the middle of the crowd getting his team pumped. He breaks them out and the team runs to the sidelines.As the Indians are getting ready for kick off the team lines up on the twenty yard line. Some players are jumping up and down trying to get blood pumping through their legs while other Players are flexing their forearms with intense aggression.The opposing team is standing on the other side of the fifty yard line glaring and looking cocky and over confident. The Henderson’s coach is yelling and pointing at his players.The kicker for the Indians drops his arm from above his head and the team crouches down and gets ready for attack. The football is kicked and the Indians blaze down the field with the look of hate and anger in their eyes.The opposing team catches the ball and starts to run but,before getting less then five yards an Indian comes down the field with lightning speed and lay’s the hardest helmet to helmet hit ever seen. The player from Henderson fumbles the ball and the Indians recover.Coach Strong is over on the side lines griping his fist and making a face that signifies he is enjoying the pain his players are inflicting. The Indian offense takes the field at their fifteen yard line. The offense breaks the huddle and the guy that spits on Jbeall is right across the line of scrimmage from him. As soon as the ball is hiked Jbeall gives a bone crushing uppercut to the guy that spit on him. Blood sprays out of the defending players mouth as he drops to his knees and falls to his face from the excruciating pain.Jake tosses the ball to the left and running back catches it as he sprints to the left side. The running back doesn’t see an opening, so he cuts back to the right. The entire right side of the field is vacant besides the guy that Jbeall uppercut in the jaw. He’s still laid out motionless. The running back runs untouched into the end zone.Henderson has the ball on the Indians twenty yard line. The center hikes the ball and JJsteel blows through their offensive line. The tight end covering JJ falls back and JJ makes eye contact with the quarter back. The Henderson Quarterback tries to avoid JJ by running a bootleg quarter back sneak to JJ’s left.JJ takes off charging in a lowered position, as if he is hunting this quarterback for the meat on his bone. JJ lowers his shoulder and lay’s a leg ripping decleating hit to the quarterback. The quarterback’s legs are above his shoulders and he is flipping in mid air then lands on his head. JJ loses his balance after his crippling tackle, and slides on his back away from the line of scrimmage.The quarterback loses the ball which JJsteel quickly notices and scavenges for it. JJsteel reach’s out lying on his stomach and grabs the football. The referees’ blow the play dead. JJ stands up and holds the ball above his head with large muscular arms. JJsteel slams the ball on the ground and the referee’ s run up throwing their flags to the ground. Coach Strong jumps up on the sideline and throws his hat on the ground in anger, spitting and cursing.The offense has the ball again, the quarter back drops back and throws a sixty yard pass down the field to Quintilly. Quintilly reaches out and makes a finger tip catch and gets taken down on the Indians 15 yard line. The center hikes the ball to the quarter back who peels back looking for an opening. Jbeall attacks the defensive end driving him off the line of scrimmage.The quarter back tosses the ball to the running back. The running back makes a line drive right between the tackle and Jbeall. Jbeall pins the defensive end on the ground and the running back gets tackled by a linebacker on the 7 yard line. There is a dog pile around Jbeall and the running back. While Jbeall has the defensive end on the ground in the dog pile he punches the player in his crotch cuasing the defensive end to scream in pain. Jbeall gets a face mask to face mask and starts screaming obscenities to the player. Jbeall laughs and spits in the face of the defensive end.The ball is hiked again and Jbeall runs into the upper right area of the open end zone, the quarter back drops back and throws a line drive pass to Jbeall which is completed. The offensive linemen run to Jbeall and stop ten yards in front of him. He takes the football and pretends to pull the pin out of a grenade using his mouth. Jbeall throws over his left shoulder and covers his ears with his hands while ducking down. He watches the football land in front of the offensive linemen.The offensive linemen act like they are getting blown up. They throw themselves in different directions as the referee’s start throwing flags on the field for unsportsmen like conduct (celebrating). Even coach Carpenter acts as if he feels the shock wave from the imaginary blast. Coach Strong looks at coach Carpenter pissed off, coach carpenter looks at coach strong and throws his hands up and makes a goofy face, like he doesn’t know what’s going on.The quarter back hands off to Brian, the full back. Brian runs in for a touch down. The final seconds run out on the score board, a gun shot represents the game has came to an end. The final score is 28-0 Jacksonville. The aggressive song comes to an end. The team is loading up on the bus, coach strong is shaking hands with parents and fans. An elderly man approaches Coach Strong and pats him on the backELDERLY OLD MANYour boys know how to play football coach, we’re impressed every year they step out on the field.COACH STRONGThank you, I appreciate that comment. These boys work their tails off for me.ELDERLY OLD MANIt damn sure shows.Coach strong takes a step onto the bus then turns around and wave to their fans.COACH STRONGThank ya’ll for coming out. It really gives us a reason to practice hard knowing we have such good fans. Ya’ll take care.The fans start cheering and yelling while the bus door shuts. The bus pulls away slowly.INT. -- FIELD HOUSE -- AFTER GAME NIGHTThe players are back at the field house, everybody is getting dressed for the after party. Players are walking every where, some are coming out of the showers, some are ironing their jeans. JJsteel is standing next to Jbeall. JJsteel is spraying multiple sprays of cologne.JBEALLWhat’s up with all the cologne you smell like a Macy’s?JJSTEELI haven’t told you but, me and Jess are going to go out by ourselves.JBEALLWhere to?JJSTEELThat’s it, we don’t know where to go besides her house, but her mom gets so drunk she tries to hang out with us.JBEALLMy dad’s parents are out of town for a while, if you want my key you can go handle up on your business there.JJSTEELYou would do that?JBEALLWhy wouldn’t I?JJSTEELThat sounds perfect. Thanks bro.JBEALLAnytime.Quintilly walks up to Jbeall and JJsteel with a real irritated look on his face.QUINTILLYAlright I love you guys to death but, I know ya’ll get off on little pranks, but this time you have gone too far.JBEALLWhat?.......QUINTILLYThe saving cream, its all over my locker.JJSTEELWe have no idea what’s going on.Jbeall, JJsteel, and Quintilly walk around the lockers to view what Quintilly is talking about. Quintilly’s locker is covered from top to bottom with shaving cream. Quintilly picks up the empty shaving cream can.QUINTILLYThere, take it I don’t want it.JBEALLI don’t want it either. I don’t even use that cheap shit.JJSTEELlooks to me like someone’s been shopping at the dollar general.BST is looking out of the corner of his eye’s at the three talking about the shaving cream. Quintilly slowly turns his head and glares at BST.QUINTILLYGod damn it, you fucking white trash peace of shit. Did you do this?BSTWhat if I did? What are you going to do about it? You fucking porch monkey.JBEALLWhoa, cut that shit out Brandon, we’re like family in this field house.Brandon walks closer to Quintilly and stands an inch away from his face.BSTFamily? No bro will ever be a part of my family. The only thing you’ll be apart of, is the tree in my front yard when your hanging from a rope.QUINTILLYFuck that!Quintilly uppercuts Brandon, buckling his knees. Jbeall grabs Quintilly and forcefully walks him back away from the fight. BST lays knocked out. Brandon awakens and stumbles back to his locker. He sits in a chair in front of his locker holding his jaw. Brian looks down at him and shakes his head. JJsteel walks up to Quintilly and Jbeall.JJSTEELI’m bout to go.Jbeall pulls his grand parents house key out of his pocket and hands it to JJ.JJSTEELSwing by my house tomorrow when you get the order in and toss it to me.JBEALLYou got it. JJ, they have an alarm on their house, so just call me right before you walk in and I’ll tell you how to turn it off.JJSTEELYou better answer.Jbeall turns to walk Quintilly back to his locker.JJSTEELDon’t worry about BST, Q-tip.JJ shouts over the row of lockers to Jbeall.JJSTEELI better not be left hanging outside with my dick in my hand.JJ turns around and walks out the field house.INT. -- JJSTEEL’S CAR -- NIGHTHe is driving up to Jbeall’s grand parents house with Jess. JJ and Jess come to a complete stop and JJ puts the car in park then steps out. He walks around to Jess’s side of the car and opens the car door for her.JESSThanks babe. Now whose house is this again?JJSTEELJbeall’s grand parents.JESSThat was nice of him.JJ and Jess walk to the back door. JJ pulls his cell phone out of his pocket and dials Jbeall. The phone is ringing, as Jbeall picks up there is a loud commotion on Jbeall’s end of the phone.JBEALLWhat’s up brother?JJSTEELHow’s the party going?JBEALLEverybody’s just now getting here.JJSTEELSo what all do I have to do to get in?JBEALLWhen you enter the first door there’s not going to be an alarm, but when you unlock the second door that goes to the kitchen.JJsteel unlocks the first door and him and jess walk in.INT. -- JBEALL’S GRANDPARENT’S HOUSE -- NIGHTJBEALL (V.O.)The alarm is going to start making a high pitch noise; the key pad is on your right so just type in 4790. You should be good to go after that.JJ walks to the second door and opens it; the alarm starts to make the high pitch noise. JJsteel turns to his right and types in 4790 and the alarm deactivates.JJSTEELNice, thanks again for all this.JBEALLForget about it. Be bad, later.JJ and Jess walk through the laundry room then the kitchen. JJsteel turns on the kitchen and living room lights. He and Jess walk into the garden room where they see the swimming pool. JJsteel reaches up and turns on the pool lightsJESSNot bad, I like it.EXT. –GRAND PARENT’S HOUSE -- NIGHTJJ and Jess walk outside and put their towels on the pool furniture. JJ already has his swim suit on and he turns to jess.JJSTEELYou can go inside and change if you want.JESSWhere’s the rest room?JJSTEELYou know where I turned the alarm off at?JESSYeah.JJSTEELThe rest room is just a few feet to the right of the key pad.JESSI think I’ll be able to find it.JJSTEELHurry up.Jess looks back with a little grin.JESSDon’t rush me.Jess walks back into the garden room and into the kitchen. JJsteel walks around the pool and turns on the water hose for the slide. JJsteel walks back around the pool and dips his foot into the water to see how cool it is.He walks back to the pool furniture and takes his shirt off. He then heads to the shallow end of the pool and uses the stairs to lower himself in until he dips himself completely under water.With JJsteel’s back turned to the garden room Jess quietly slides the door open and shuts it behind her. Jess walks up to the edge of the pool where JJsteal entered and stands there waiting to be noticed. JJsteel turns around to find jess standing at the edge of the pool wearing her bikini bottoms and no top.JJSTEELHEY…….Jess smiles and puts her hair behind her ears then slowly steps one foot into the pool. She submerges inch by inch her half naked body.JJsteel stands there flabbergasted. Jess slowly approaches JJsteel’s rock hard torso and raps her legs around his waste. He places his right hand on the small of her back and his left hand on the back of her head as they both go in for a kiss.All of a sudden you hear a loud engine coming up the drive way. A sports car comes to a tire screeching halt and music is blaring out of the rolled down windows.JJsteal and Jess turn towards the drive way. They begin to swim towards the edge.JJsteel and Jess get out of the pool to investigate the matter. Jess raps a towel around her chest.They both proceed to walk out into the driveway.Jbeall jumps out of the sports car, two girls are sitting in the passenger seat drinking from a liquor bottle. He runs around the car and approaches JJ and Jess at the edge of the garage.JBEALLDude I know I said you could have the house for the night but, I’m having to take that back.JJSTEELTell me what’s up, are your grand parents coming back early.JJsteel looks at Jbeall with confusion.JBEALLNo Brian’s girlfriend’s parents came home from Dallas early, so the party is switching locations.JJsteel looks at Jess with sad a faced.JJSTEELBaby I’m sorry, it’s not my house.Jess looks at JJ, then glares at Jeremy.JESSI’ll talk to you tomorrow.Jess glares back at Jbeall.JBEALLSorry, feel more then welcome to stay.Jess walks away while she holds her middle finger in the air at Jbeall.JBEALLFuck you to pussy eater.JJSTEELWhat the fuck Jbeall.JBEALLDon’t expect me to stand here, and take that bitch’s attitude.JJSTEELYou don’t know how close I was to...JBEALLSay no more, I forgive you. It’s time to party.A Texas rap song starts to play. Several trucks and cars enter the long driveway filled with high school seniors. Car after car pull up, people are yelling and having a good time. Trucks pull off the driveway and park in the open yard. Brian pulls up in his truck and backs into the parking garage. The back of his truck is filled with beer bottles covered to the bed rails with ice.Random classmates walk through the gate to the pool, one by one carrying coolers and individual bottles of liquor. A few stoners walk by with pipes and bongs, one guy tosses a large zip lock baggy full of weed to his friend across the garage. A group of friends are sitting around in a circle passing a bong. Girls are running around in their thongs and wet tee-shirts pushing guys into the pull. Two topless girls are sliding down the slide into the crystal clear water. In the distance, a local band is setting up stage across the pool area preparing to rock out.Jbeall, JJsteel, Ashley and a few random friends are sitting around a table taking shots of patron.JJSTEELBrian pass me that pipe.Brian looks blazed and in deep thought.BRIANWhat?JJSTEELPass… me… the… pipe…BRIANWhat pipe?JJSTEELThe pipe in your hand buddy.Brian just looks at the pipe like it’s not even there. JJ stands up and reaches over the table.JJSTEELNever mind, just try not to die on us.Brian looks at JJsteel with fearful eye’s then starts rubbing his chest.BRIAN(Fearful)What? What did you say?JBEALLAny ways!!! Where’s BSTJJSTEELHe was talking about some girl from out of town he was going to pick up..Jax walks through the gate. The whole table that Jbeall and JJsteel are sitting at focuses on her walking in.ASHLEYWho invited her.Ashley looks at Jbeall with a bit of sarcasm.JBEALLI didn’t. Why wouldn’t you expect her not to show up the entire senior class is here.ASHLEYI’m not trying to be a bitch, she’s just gonna try to start drama like she always does.Jax walks straight over to the table that Jeremy and the group is sitting at.JAXJeremy can I talk to you?ASHLEYJax what do you need?JAXWhat I need, is for you to shut the hell up and let me speak to my boyfriend.Ashley smile.ASHLEYX- Boyfriend.JBEALLDon’t you come to this house and disrespect Ash. You understand me, your more then welcome to stay and drink, but don’t you bring any of your attention driven bull shit to my party.Ashley is sitting right next to Jeremy smiling at Jax as Jbeall corrects her.JAXWhat ever. You and your little slut can die; I just stopped by to see who all was here.Jbeall points to the gate.JBEALLIf you can’t get along you can get out.Jax turns away and walks towards the gate. She mumbles while she’s walking away.JAXFucking slut.Ashley looks at Jeremy with shock and anger. Jbeall looks back at Ashley.JBEALLGo get you some.Ashley runs up to jax and grabs her by her right shoulder then yanks her around face to face.ASHLEYWhat was that you little bitch.Jax grabs Ashley and tries to push her around, but Ashley gets leverage and throws Jax into the poolfully clothed.JAXYou fucking bitch! You are off the cheer leading team. I’ll see to that.ASHLEYLike I care.Everybody around the pool is pointing and laughing. Jax starts screaming and swimming her way to the side of the pool. She gets out of the pool soaking wet and stomps her way out of the gate. Jbeall runs up and bear hugs Ashley from behind and pretends to throw her in. Ashley gets excited and starts kicking and screaming.Jbeall puts her down.Ashley turns around.ASHLEYI would kill you, if you did that.JBEALLRight.Jbeall and Ashley take their seats at the table again. JJsteel’s eyes get really big, he looks away in embarrassment.JJSTEELThere’s BST, check out who’s with him.BST walks in wearing wranglers and a tank top. He has two large women that must weigh two hundred pounds. He turns to the biggest and grabs her on the ass.BSTYa’ll go get something to drink while I go have a few words with my boys.BST walks over to the table and shakes JJ, Brian, and Jbeall’s hands. When BST gets to Jbeall, he stares Ashley down with a look of hate and jealousy. Ashley leans over to Jbeall and whispers.ASHLEYI’ll be back, I have to go to the rest room.JBEALLOk.BST appears to be ease dropping on what she tells Jbeall. Ashley stands up and proceeds to walk inside the house.BSTIf you see the girls I came here with tell them I ran out to my truck to get something.JBEALLI got cha.Jbeall walks over to the band that is getting ready to sing. The head singer turns around and shakes Jbeall’s hand.JBEALLHow’s it coming along?LEAD SINGERI think we’ll manage.JBEALLWell hell, holler if yall need anything and feel free to make whatever drink you want.LEAD SINGERYou don’t think the cops are gonna get called?JBEALLYea, just keep on playing when they show up.INT. -- REST ROOM -- NIGHTAshley is washing her hands in the rest room when BST purposely walks in.ASHLEYBrandon!!! I’m in here.Brandon locks the door behind him.BSTYou know what every guy hates.BST glares at her and walks closer.ASHLEYGet out.BSTWe hate little sluts that flaunt their asses around and act to good to say hi.Ashley tries to walk around BST to leave the room. Brandon grabs her by her hair. He slams her into the counter and bends her over. Ashley starts to become frightened.ASHLEYBrandon your hurting me.BST rears his right fist in the air and punches Ashley across her mouth causing blood to pour from her lips. He delivers a devastating punch to the back of the head.EXT. – POOL AREA -- NIGHTJbeall walks away back to the table expecting to see Ashley.JBEALLAshley hasn’t come back from the rest room yet.Jbeall acts nervousJJSTEELWhat’s wrongJBEALLFollow meJJsteel and Jbeall make their way inside.INT. – GRAND PARENT’S HOUSE -- NIGHTBST throws Ashley to the ground and kicks her in the breast.ASHLEY(Screams)Jbeall!!!BST starts to undo his gold plated belt buckle. He then kneels over her and pulls her shirt up over her waist. Jbeall and JJsteel make it to the rest room.JBEALLAshley, you in there?ASHLEYJBeall!BST places his hand over Ashley’s mouth then pulls himself closer to her face. BST is spits all over the side of her hair, as he is threatening her.BSTShut your fucking mouth slut.Ashley spits up blood through BST’s Fingures.Jbeall tries the door but, it’s locked. Jbeall runs to the bedroom door and opens it. He and JJsteel then run to the second rest room door located within the bedroom. Jbeall slide the door open, Ashley’s on the rest room floor bleeding. Brandon has his hands in his boxers.Jbeall runs to BST and grabs him by his hair and throws him into a wall. Jbeall kicks BST in the throat. JJsteel runs in and grabs BST putting him in a choke hold. Jbeall turns to Ashley, and kneels down to pick her up.JBEALLCome here baby…. Come here.Ashley raps her legs and arms around Jeremy as tight as she can, and starts to cry even harder. Jeremy walks her down the hallway and takes her into another rest room to clean her up. JJ is dragging Brandon outside by his neck.EXT. – GRAND PARENT’S HOUSE -- NIGHTJJSTEELWhat the hells your problem boy?BSTOh don’t tell me you haven’t ever fantasized about that type of shit. I just have the balls to do it.JJsteel points to the road with anger in his eye.JJSTEELGet out of here before I do something I’ll regret.BSTIt’s all for shits and giggles Double JJJselt turns a walks back to the party as BST leaves.INT. –GRAND PARENT’S HOUSE --NIGHTJbeall sits Ashley on the bathroom counter.JBEALLDid he put himself inside you?Ashley sniffles and leans into Jbeall’s ear.ASHLEYNo, he didn’t have time to. Thank you.JBEALLAre you positive.ASHLEYYes, a hundred percent.Jbeall kisses Ashley’s blood covered lips. Ashley grabs Jbeall’s forearms.ASHLEYIt’s ok.JJsteel slides the door open.JJSTEELShe alright?ASHLEYYes JJ I’m fine.Ashley wipes her eyes.JJSTEELNo offence but there’s naked babes every where in the pool.Jbeall smiles.JBEALLGo… have fun.INT. -- JBEALL’S CAR -- NIGHTJbeall takes Ashley to her house. They pull in the drive way.JBEALLYou gonna tell your dad?ASHLEYWhat do you think I should do?JBEALLI think you should definitely tell your dad.ASHLEYI might.Jbeall gets out of the car and walks Ashley to the door.ASHLEYListen….JBEALLBe quiet, I know I’m your night in shining armor. You don’t have to say it.ASHLEYThat’s not what I was going to say.Jbeall kisses Ashley good night.JBEALLSweet dreams.ASHLEYGood night.Ashley walks into her house.EXT. -- OUTSIDE POOL -- MORNINGThe next morning Jbeall and JJsteel are sleeping by the pool where the party was at. Jbeall wakes up to see JJsteel snuggled up with two half naked cheerleaders. JBeall’s phone rings.JBEALLWhat’s up.DEALERRise and shine baby, where you at.JBEALLGrand ParentsDEALERMeet me under the over pass in 5 minutes.JBEALLLater.JJsteel turns over and wipes the sleep from his eyes.JJSTEELYou want me to go with you.JBEALLI don’t think he wants to see you.Jbeall walks towards the pool.JJSTEEL(Offended)Why?JBEALLRemember when you purposely asked him where his wife was when he was with one of his girls... That’s why.Jbeall walks towards his car.JJSTEELYou coming back?JBEALLYeah, clear all these people out in 30 minutes.JJSTEALTake your piece. I don’t trust those guys’s.JBEALLWhy would you? There’re drug dealers.While Jbeall walks past the pool several people are laid out sleeping from the night before. Jbeall backs out of the driveway.EXT. -- UNDER THE OVER PASS -- MORNINGJbeall pulls up to a furniture store and exists his car. He walks back to the trunk and opens it. He lifts up a piece of carpet and pulls out a stainless steel 45. Caliber, pistol. He stands their overlooking his weapon. He ejects the magazine from the handle to make sure it is fully loaded. He pushes the magazine back into the pistol and places it by his side.A speed bike turns the corner. The bike comes within inches, Jbeall tosses the driver of the bike a large roll of money. The speed bike races away. A white Cadillac drives over the overpass and a Mexican hangs out the window and tosses a black duffle bag over the side rail of the bridge.Jbeall watches the duffle bag get tossed off the bridge. He catches the bag and walks over to his car and pops the trunk. Jbeall places the bag and the gun in the trunk.Jbeall shuts the trunk then walks to the driver side door and gets in. While he is in the car he texts “Complete” to his dealer, and drives away.EXT. -- JBEALL’S GRAND PARENTS HOUSE -- MORNINGJbeall shows back up at his grand parents house where the party was at. He comes to a complete stop at the end of the drive way.He walks back through the gate and looks around. Everybody has left the premises and the all the trash was picked up. JJsteel has made himself a mixed drink and is laid out by the pool. Jbeall walks up beside JJsteel and sits down.JBEALLThanks for cleaning up.JJSTEELNo problem. I mean shit, it was all my idea anyways.JBEALLHere’s your cut.Jbeall tosses him his share of the drug money. JJsteel looks at it between his legs and puts the roll of money in his pants pocket..JJSTEELDude what was up with everybody last night? Jax shows up and tries to fight Ashley, BST tries to rape Ashley. I’m going to go out on a limb and say Ashley didn’t enjoy herself last night.JBEALLI don’t think the fight bothered her, now the rape on the other hand. That was a crazy experience.JJSTEELSo what do you think is going to happen to BST?JBEALLI don’t know what Ashley is gonna do, she doesn’t seem too distraught about the whole situation. She has a swollen lip, but other then that…..JJSTEELAt least he wasn’t able to get inside her.JJ shivers is disgust. Jbeall laughs as he is in deep thought about the situation.JBEALLLets role.JJSTEELim not finished with my tasty beverage.Jbeall looks at JJ with shock.JBEALLDrink it in the damn car.JJsteel gets out of the chair and walks behind Jbeall sipping from his extremely large cup.INT. -- ASHLEY’S HOUSE -- MORNINGAshley wakes up from the night after the attempted rape. She walks into her rest room to check herself out in the mirror. Ashley rubs the back of her head where she was punched, and pulls her bottom lip down to see how bad the cut is. The cut is noticeable, but there’s nothing she can do about it. She walks down stairs to get something to eat and runs into her father and mother.MOTHERWhere were you at until two in the morning.ASHLEYI was out with Jeremy, he had a little get together over at his grand parents house.FATHERYou know, I like that boy he seems very calm and down to earth.Ashley’s fathers stairs at her face from across the room, he looks concerned and frustrated.FATHERWhat happen to your lip?Ashley looks at him speechless.ASHLEYYou saw me fall at the football game when we were stunting.FATHERI didn’t see that.MOTHEROh, Brian cheerleaders get banged from time to time.FATHERThey get what? What did you say?MOTHERYou’re over reacting… Lets go we’re going to be late.ASHLEYWe get bruises all the time daddy… Bye… Yall have fun.The father and mother are walking down the hall way.FATHERDid you say they get banged.The mother laughs and slaps the dad on the shoulder.MOTHERI said they get banged up.FATHERThat’s not what you said.Ashley stands at the opposite end of the room. She shakes her head and grins. Ashley walks into her room and picks up the phone and calls Jbeall.INT. -- JBEALL’S CAR -- MORNINGJbeall pauses to wait for another ring then answers.JBEALLWhat’s up chick?ASHLEY (V.O.)Hey, you want to come over and hang out? My parents left for the day.JBEALLYeah, I have JJSteel with me.ASHLEY (V.O.)That’s fine, you can bring him if you want.Jbeall looks over at JJsteel in the passenger side seat. JJsteel is sitting with a school book in his lap snorting a line of coke. Jbeall looks at the coke and runs his finger over the residue then rubs his finger on his gums.JJSTEELWhoa, that’s some good shit.JBEALLDon’t bring that shit in Ash’s house.JJsteel starts wiping his nose. He looks coked out of his mind.JJSTEELDude lets talk about love.Jbeall laughs and looks at JJsteel.JBEALLWhat?JJSTEELYea, I want to talk about love.They come to an intersection where a car is to the left of them.JJSTEELDude, dude.JBEALL(Startled)What?JJSTEELThat’s the old bitch that lives next to Jess, you know the one that gives me a hard time.JBEALLHave you to ever tried talking to her or maybe asking her if some how, you might have offended her?JJsteel looks at Jeremy with a calm responsible look on his face.JJSTEELYou always bring the best in me out Jbeall, pull up next to her.Jbeall takes a left and drives up to Mrs. Plums four door sedan. Jbeall rolls down the driver side window. The elderly woman has her little puddle in her lap. JJsteel leans over Jeremy and engages.JJSTEELHey Mrs. Plumb, I just wanted to say… YOU’RE A FUCKING OLD PIECE OF SHIT AND I HOPE YOU DIE!!!Mrs. Plumb spits towards the car from her car window.MRS. PLUMBFucking spickJbeall pulls his arm in the window so it won’t be spit on and floors his car. JJsteel looks in the passenger visor mirror and repetitively wipes his nose. Jbeall looks and points at JJsteel.JBEALLYou know that’s not what I meant.JJsteel turns around and looks through the back car window. Mrs. Plumb is pulling away from the intersection holding her arm out the window flipping Jbeall and JJsteel off. Jbeall runs his hand over his face.JBEALLDamn boy.Jbeall starts to laugh uncontrollably as he is joined by JJsteel.EXT. -ASHLEY’S HOUSE -- AFTERNOONJbeall and JJsteel arrive at Ashley’s house. Ashley answers the door front door.ASHLEYWhat took you so long? I thought your were leaving your grand parents place when I called?Jbeall grins and shakes his head and looks at JJ.Ashley and Jeremy kiss. Ashley pulls her head back quick from the pain and touches her bottom lip with her finger.JBEALLHow bad is it.ASHLEYNothing I haven’t gotten before.JJsteel walks in behind JBeall. Ashley is still standing at the door and JJsteel tires to get a kiss from Ashley as well. Ashley pushes JJsteel byhis face.ASHLEYPlease…Jbeall and Ashley are sitting in her room talking about her parents.JBEALLI cant believe your dad did question you more then that.ASHLEyI know tell me about. If my mom wasn’t standing there, he would have.JJsteel walks in the room with a sex book and video in his hand.JBEALLWhere did you get that?JJSTEELIn Ashley’s parents room.Ashley sits up and points towards her parents room.ASHLEY(Embarrassed)Go put that up!JJsteel walks out of the room.JJSTEELI’ll put it back when I’m finished.Ashley looks at Jeremy.ASHLEYSo what’s up with you and Jax?Jbeall slowly roles his head slowly towards Ashley.JBEALLWhere did that come from?ASHLEYIt came from my conscience.JBEALLI have no idea.ASHLEYWell, you say she treats you like crap but, you have been guilty of going back to her time after time.JBEALLI’m not with her now am I?ASHLEYThat’s what you said last time.JBEALLJax and I have a lot of history that I’m not sure what to do with.ASHLEYA lot of bull shit, if you ask me.JBEALLShe’s never done anything extreme that’s able to make me have a clear conscience to leave her. Plus I guess deep down I do care about her.ASHLEYSo we’re not stable.JBEALLI’m over here. I’m with you right now and not her.Jbeall looks around in frustration.JBEALLWhat do you want me to say... I work for her dad, I’m pretty close to her whole family and you expect me to push all of that aside. I’m trying baby but, shit it takes time. I didn’t come over here to argue.ASHLEYWell I want an answer.JJBEALLI’m finished with this, I have stuff to do today, and arguing with you is not one of them.ASHLEYWell leave. If your not going to answer me then leave.Jbeall pushes himself out of a wing back chair and walks out of the room frustrated. Ashley falls back on her bed and cuddles a pillow for security. Jbeall is walking to the back door when he passes the living room and finds JJsteel sitting on top of a large pillow, with the sex book laid out, and the video tape he found playing. JJsteel mimics sex moves he see’s on the television. He is leaned over talking dirty to the pillow, with no idea Jbeall is standing there watching him.JJSTEELYou like that? uuummmm. I want to hit that shit pillow style. What? What was that? You want me to eat those feathers for hours.JBEALLWhat makes you do stuff like that?Jbeall looks as if he can’t take anymore of Jacobs’s bizarre behavior.JJSTEELWhats up dude.JBEALLWhen your finished talking dirty to Mrs. Pillow, I’m ready to go.JJSTEELNope I’m staying until I get passed chapter 11.Jbeall walks up to JJsteel and grabs him by the hair.JBEALLSure Lets go.JJSTEELok. ok. shit.JJ and Jbeall exit the house.JJSTEELWhat’s going on?JBEALLShe invited me over here to argue.JJSTEELDude you do need to ditch that bitch, Jax.JBEALLI’m gonna fucking kill you if you say one more word.Jbeall and JJsteal sit in the car and close the doors.INT. -- HIGH SCHOOL CLASSROOM -- MORNINGJBeall and JJsteel are sitting in class. Jbeall is staring at his desk with a look of deep thought on his face, a lady’s voice from the office comes over the intercom.INTERCOMI need Jbeall and JJSteel to come to the principles office as soon as possible.TEACHERI’ll send them. Guys get going.Jbeall and JJsteel get out of their desks and make their way outside.EXT. – HIGHSCHOOL -- MORNINGThey climb the big stair case by the breeze way. Coach Strong waits patiently at the top.STRONGGentlemen we have a situation at hand in the principles office. Two detectives are here investigating a rape that occurred at a party Friday night after the game. Apparently some parent heard their kid talking about it over the phone. The officers don’t know anything except that it might be BST.He wipes the sweat from his brow.COACH STRONGGuys I… We as a team do not need this right now. I don’t care what the hell ya’ll do on your free time as long as it doesn’t come back to make my athletic program look bad. This looks bad. We don’t need a rape case pending on one of our players during the play offs. These referees’s are already coming from Dallas so we don’t need anymore prejudice and malice from them, there is already is gonna be enough. Just shut your mouth and let’s wait until the play offs are over…. PleaseINT. -- PRINCIPLES OFFICE -- MORNINGCoach Strong, JJsteel, and Jeremy walk into the Principles office. The Principle, two detectives, and BST are sitting around a table.PRINCIPLEGood morning gentlemen, have a seat.Jbeall and JJsteel take a seat at the opposite side of the table from BST. Coach Strong walks up and stands between Jbeall and JJsteal and puts his hands on each of their shoulders.PRINCIPLEThe reason I called you in here is because of a rumor of an alleged rape after last Fridays game.DETECTIVE 1We received a call from a parent that over heard her son talking about an incident involving two unknown people.DETECTIVE 2The rapist and the victim.DETECTIVE 1The mother might have heard the name Ashley in the conversation. Ring any bells?STRONGSo ya’ll don’t know anything else besides a rumor that a possible rape took place, and ya’ll come and pull my players out their class to harass them?BSTIf we’re talking about the Ashley that was at the party, she was all over everybody, walking around with her top off trying to get attention.STRONGReally, that sounds like a lot of girls that are being raised today.Jbeall grabs the arms of the chair he’s sitting in and squeezes them out of anger. Strong notices his behavior and grabs Jbeall’s shoulder firmly.DETECTIVE1So you guys aren’t going to say anything?JJSTEELWe didn’t see anything like that.JBEALLThe house was locked up so nobody could go inside.DETECTIVE 2So everybody was outside the entire time.Jbeall looks emotional and JJsteel stares down at the table.JBEALLYeah everybody.DETECTIVE 1Well the accusation was told to us that the the rape took place inside a bathroom.STRONGWell there probably can’t be much said about the credibility behind these accusations.PRINCIPLESounds to me that someone’s mother has a problem with spreading gossip around.Detective 2 observes Jbeall and JJsteel’s stressful body movements and facial expressions.DETECTIVE 2We’ll be in touch.Detective 2 stairs at Jeremy and JJsteel out of curiosity.PRINCIPLEYou guys are more then welcome to go back to class.STRONGIf you don’t mind, I would like my boys go back to my office and relax for the rest of the day until it’s time for practice.The principle smiles and pats Strong on his back.PRINCIPLEI don’t mind at all, anything for that championship.STRONGYou guys go take a load off.Jbeall and JJsteel walk out of the office and BST is standing with the two detectives shaking their hands and laughing.BSTI’m telling you, you get these East Texas girls drunk and they’ll do anything to get attention.The Detectives laugh and walk away.DETECTIVEI remember my high school day’s.BSTYou officers take care.EXT. – HIGH SCHOOL -- AFTERNOONJbeall and JJsteel walk out of the building and across the cat walk on their way to the back parking lot. The school bell rings and the classes let out for lunch. Students are running to the cafeteria. Jbeall and JJsteel walk over a big hill over looking the student parking lot. They both stop and observe Ashley across the parking lot talking to another guy; Ashley keeps looking back at Jbeall to see if he’s watching.JJSTEELWell that’s obvious, do you think she could try any harder to piss you off.JBEALLI wouldn’t put it passed her.Jbeall stands there with a bothered look on his face.JJSTEELStop thinking about it.Jax walks up behind Jbeall and punch’s him in the arm.Jbeall turns around and say’s nothing.JAXWhat are you doing after the game Friday?JBEALLThat depends on if we win are lose. If we when, I’m gonna throw another party. If we loose I’m gonna throw a party but smaller.JAXIt would mean a lot to me and my parents if you stopped by sometime this weekend and hung out.JEREMYI’ll think about it.JAXIt looks like you’re not the only one Ashley’s after.Jbeall looks down at Jax.Ashley see’s Jax and Jbeall talking then gets upset. She walks away glaring at the two.EXT. -- INDIAN PRACTICE FIELD -- AFTERNOONThe team is back at practice. Jbeall is out on the practice field being taught a new offence by Strong. Jbeall is lost in space while Strong tries to teach him a new play.STRONGJbeall are you listening? Highland Parks defense is the most complicated defense you will ever go up against, so pay attention. When we run just our basic 48 toss, you are going to have to block down on the end. Their end plays an outside tackle, your not going to worry about hook blocking him, I’m going to need you to crack down on his ear hole every time. If we can eliminate their end then we can worry about their all state linebacker.JJsteel, Brian, BST, and a few upperclassmen are in a straight line on their knees talking to one another. A goofy looking red neck, Josh, pulls out from his helmet the most terrible picture of his girlfriend and starts bragging about how their getting engaged. BST over hears the conversation and joins in.JOSHYeah we are going to get married.BSTDid I hear you say you are going to ask this girl to marry you?JOSHYeah, I’m going to ask her in the spring.BST takes the picture away from him, looks at it, then stares Josh right in the eye’s.BSTThis is the ugliest picture I have ever seen.BRIANBST… StopBSTYour gonna marry this pig?JOSHShut your mouth, you disrespectful son of a bitch.BST makes several hip thrusting motions while he screams like a pig. Josh grabs the picture back and walks away angry.BRIANYou are the biggest ass hole I know.BSTCome one, what is that white trash hill billy going to do?Josh walks up from behind BST and slam his helmet across BST’s head. BST is lying on the ground with his ass in the air completely knocked out. Josh is standing over him with the helmet in hand breathing very heavy. Coach Strong observes everything from across the field.STRONGIt’s about time you got what you had coming to you. If I had any money in my pockets I would pay him to hit you a few more times.As the team is jogging up the hill to go to the field house Quintilly runs up besides JJSteel and Jbeall.QUINTILLYI need yall to hook me up with some of that white girl.Jbeall looks lost and frustrated.JBEALLWhy you black guy’s got to be taking our white girls.QUINTILLYNot that kind of white girl. YayoJJSteal starts laughing.JBEALLOh.JJSTEELCome by our lockers after you get ready.QUINTILLYBet.Jbeall and JJSteel are getting dressed in the locker room when Quintilly walks up.QUINTILLYSo what’s up, we going to do thisJJSTEELHere.JJsteel hands Quintilly a glass vile of cocaine.QUINTILLYhow much bread you need.Jbeall puts on his shirt, then looks at JJsteel.JJSTEELDon’t stress it baby.QUINTILLYStraight. I’ll see yall later.Quintilly shakes JJsteel’s and Jbeall’s hand and walks away.Quintilly begins to walk to the field house exit.INT. -- QUINTILLY’S TRUCK -- NIGHTAs Quintilly is driving home, he runs a stop sign right in front of a cop. The police officer turns his lights on and pulls Quintilly over. The officer exits the police car and walks up to the driver side window.OFFICERGive me your license and insurance.The officer steps back and looks over Quintilly’s truck.OFFICERThis is a very nice truck. How did a black kid like you afford it?QUINTILLYWhat?OFFICERStep your ass out of the truck and walk to the back.The officer pats Quintilly down and reaches into his pocket pulling out the vile of cocaine.OFFICERI knew it. Place your hands behind your back.INT. -- JESS’S HOUSE -- NIGHTJJsteel walks into the living room and begins to light the fire place. As he lights the fire, a pair of hands begins to rub down his shoulders.JJSTEELThat feels good.Jess leans her head over his and they begin to kiss as JJsteel turns up the flames in the fire place. He begins to place his hands up her shirt then pulls down her bra. Jess leads him to the couch were JJ goes to lie on top of her.JESSWait.She stops him from unzipping her pants all the way.JJsteal quickly sits up.JJSTEELWhat?JESSI just don’t feel like it tonight.JJSTEELYou never feel like it. Stop me if I’m jumping to conclusions but, I’m starting to think you don’t want to have sex.JESSSorry I’m just not ready to get that close with some one. Look, there are plenty of other things we can do beside have sex.Jess grabs his crotch.JESSDoes that feel better.JJSTEELYou’re getting closer.Jess’s mom comes stumbling through the hallway door.JESS’S MOMHey guys. It’s getting chilly in my bedroom I’m just going to warm up by the fire a little. Is that alright with you guys?JJSTEELThat’s ok. You are not bothering me.JESSWhat?Jess looks at JJsteel discouragingly. Jess’s mom is wearing a silk pink night gown and her hair is pulled up on the top of her head. She is holding a wine glass in her hand that is stained with lipstick. She sits on the couch between her Jess and Steel.JESSMom you are drunk again.JESS’S MOMNo I’m not. Just trying to get a little warmer.JJSTEELGod Jess show your mom some respect what wrong with you.JJsteel puts an arm around Jess’s mom.JJSTEELWarming up yet.JESS’S MOMGetting there, burr.Jess grabs a remote off of a coffee table and turns on the TV.JESS’S MOMMaybe I should leave I feel like I’m interrupting.JJsteel and Jess answer at the same time.JJSTEELNo.JESSMake yourself comfortable mom.JESS’S MOMJJ would you like a glass of wine.Jess’s mom stands up and grabs hold of the couch to keep from falling over.JJSTEELWhat year.JESS’S MOMOh it’s just yellow tail.JJsteal looks at Jess and with a look of desperation.JJSTEELUm… Sounds exquisite. I’ll have some.INT. -COACH STRONG’S HOUSE -- EARLY MORNINGCoach Strong receives a phone call at 3:00am as he lies asleep in the bed next to his wife.The Phone rings twice.STRONGHello.QUINTILLYCoach, it’s QuintillyStrong quickly sits up.STRONGWhat is it Q- tip, everything alright.INT. – POLICE STATION –EARLY MORNINGQuintilly looks down at the ground.QUINTILLYI’m in jail coach.EXT. -- POLICE STATION -- NIGHTCoach Strong is standing is the police department with the county judge at his side. An officer walks Quintilly out of the back of the building.STRONGEverything alright.QUINTILLYI know I fucked up coach.STRONGI got your truck out of the impound, go home and we will talk about this after the game Saturday.The arresting officer walks up.COUNTY JUDGEWell, I should have known it was you. You’re going to drop all charges against Mr. Harmone.OFFICEROh I am!!!COUNTY JUDGEWhat did I just say?Strong stands there with is arms crossed staring holes through the officer.JUDGEIf you don’t, I’ll make sure those old sexual harassment charges against you get brought up in court again.The officer stares at the judge and Strong with extreme hate.OFFICERFine.The officer turns around and walks away. Strong and the judge walk outside.STRONGI want to thank you again.JUDGEYou want to thank me, win Saturday, and then we’ll call it even.INT. -- TOMATO BOWL -- SATURDAY NIGHTIts Saturday night, the fans are already walking around the inside of the stadium. The Jacksonville Cheerleaders are hanging signs on the fence. On the opposite side of the field the opposing team’s cheerleaders are hanging signs that say “class vs. trash”. In front of the Tomato Bowl are several hundred Jacksonville fans standing around socializing.Cheerleaders are selling programs at the bottom of the stairs. There are sold out signs in every ticket booth window. On the visitor’s side of the Tomato Bowl, there are several lines of high dollar vehicles in the parking lot.A man and a woman at the top of the stands pour a cup of wine while they sit snuggled under a blanket together. Several high dollar purses are sitting on the bleachers in front of their trophy wifes.The refs are standing around laughing with the opposing teams parents and coaches.The Indians are in their locker room, no one is talking and no one is acting up.INT. – TOMATO BOWEL LOCKER ROOM -- DUSKThere are players sitting on benches, while some players are laying on the ground with towels over their faces. Jbeall is sitting across the locker room looking at the electric blue carpet. Coach strong is pacing back and forth in the locker room, looking at the ceiling in deep thought.COACH STRONGYou have nothing to be nervous about. You guys practice harder and have more character then this team.Jbeall is staring at the ground while his stomach and mind anticipates the game, an intense glare consumes his face. JJsteel is rapping his wrist with athletic tape while one player is sitting in the corner reading the bible. Coach Strong stands at the door with a blank stair of contemplation. Strong then looks at his watch.STRONGTen minutes gentlemen.The team stands up with out being told. Like trained dogs they start to put their field armor on. Coach strong is standing in the middle of the locker room.STRONGTake a knee gentlemen. I need not tell you how important this game is. We lose, and we go home. We win, we are one more step towards state, and the majority of ya’ll are one step closer to playing college ball. I can’t stress enough that you guys are better then this team. You guy deserve this win more then they do. I have spoken to other coaches that have played this team earlier this year. They said they will taunt you, they will call ya’ll niggers, and white trash. Retaliate with your helmet and shoulder pads and not with your mouth. Knock them on their ass, and then help them up. Break it out on Brian.Brian stands up and puts his helmet in the air.BRIAN123!The whole team chants.TEAMTRIBE!The team is in a single file line is waiting to exit the locker room. Coach Strong calls the team out.STRONGLet’s go.The team calmly walks out of the locker room with their head in the air. The Jacksonville Indian school band is playing the “Indian Drum Beat” while Jbeall and JJsteel lead the line.There are opposing team fans standing outside the locker rooms. The opposing fans are glaring and throwing objects at the Indians.After the long walk, the Indians congregate in a large teepee set up over the Indians end zone. Coach Strong is on the side lines putting his head set on. The band continues playing the beat. Despite the band and fans, the teepee is completely silent and filling with fog from a dry ice machine. Jbeall turns around to face the team. He lets out a battle cry!JBEALLWhat time is it?TEAMGame time!JJSTEELWhat time is it?TEAMGame time!JBEALLWho’s house?TEAMOur house!JJSTEELWho’s house?TEAMOur house!JBEALLWe’re we going?TEAMGoing back!The team expoldes out of the teepee, the cheerleader are in front of the team running, the fans scream, the band still plays. The Team meets in the middle of the field on the Fifty yard line then crowds around Jbeall.INT. -- BOX SEAT AT TOMATO BOWL -- NIGHTDeuce and Bucky sit in box seats up in the stands with headsets on.DEUCEJ’ville fans get read,y this here is the moment you have been waiting for.BUCKYIt’s time those rich pricks on the Highland Park side to get a taste of what it’s like to dig through a dumpster.DUECEDid you see the refs over on the highland Park sideline.BUCKYHighland Park has a history of bribing certain officials. I’m not to sure about how these Dallas referees are going to be calling this game.DEUCEAll we can do is hope Coach Strong doesn't break their nose on a B.S. call.BUCKYCoach Strong has been carried out of a few games kicking and screaming.DEUCELooks like one of the team captains number forty one, Jbeall is getting the team pumped for the kick off.BUCKYWhat ever he is saying to them. He is saying with true conviction.EXT. -- TOMATO BOWL FIELD -- GAME TIMEJBEALLListen up, we are one of the only ten teams left in East Texas 4A football.QUINTILLYTell it Jbeall!JBEALLWe have four quarters to finish. If any of ya’ll have a fucking problem with that, then walk the fuck off my field and go sit in the stands. Hit them in the mouth and put them on their back every fucking play. Everybody ball up your fist and get pissed, it’s time to rock and roll. Break it out TRIBE on three.Jbealls shoves his helmet in the air. The team follows.JBEALL1.2.3.TEAMTribe!The team jogs off the field. Jeremy, JJ, and Brian are the team captains. Both teams walk out on the field. The ref stands between both teamsREFHighland Park, call it in the air.The ref flips the quarter.HIGHLAND PLAYERTails.The quarter lands on heads.REFIndians what do you want?JJSTEELWe want to kick, and we want to defend the score board.The ref turns to the Indians side line and motions the Indians to kick off.STRONGDefense lets go.JJ stays on the field, while Jbeall and Brian jog off.The Indians line up for kick off. The ball is kicked. The Indians run down the field. Highland Park catches the ball. The player that catches the ball gets destroyed by an Indian. The player’s helmet comes flying off. The Indians holds highland for only 5 yards.Highland park punts the ball. The receiving Indian runs the ball for 15 yards before he is taken down. The center hikes the ball to the quarter back and Jbeall goes down the center of the field for a pass. The linebacker follows Jbeall, holding on to him by the tail of his jersey, right in front of a referee. No penalty is called causing the Indian fans to start boo.The scoreboard now reads, second quarter, only 30 seconds left until half time. The Score is 0 to 0. The Indians defense is on their five yard line. Highland Park hikes the ball and the quarter back quickly passes the ball to the running back.JJSteel throws the tight end on his back. The running back tries to juke JJSteel. JJSteel squats down to deliver a staggering hit. The running back ducks his head and runs into JJSteel open arms. JJSteel stands the running back up and drives him back seven yards.The Indian fans go crazy. The first half runs out of time. Both Teams jog back to the locker rooms. Both teams meet at the exit at the same time. The Indians let the other team walk in first.OPPOSING TEAMLet the winners go first.OPPOSING TEAMLosersThe Indians show their class and let the team walk in without saying a word in retaliation. The Indians are in the locker room going over plays for the second half. Coach Carpenter has the offensive line in front of him while he’s drawing plays on the dry erase board. Coach Minyard has the linebackers and the defense line in a circle around him.Coach Minyard is in a three point football stance, showing his players how fast they need to explode off the ball.COACH MINYARDGuys you need to explode of the ball, stop waiting on the other team to come to ya’ll, you guys know what to do, explode off the ball and go attack them damn it.Coach Minyard slaps his hand in frustration.COACH MINYARDNow ya’ll get fucking pumped and hurt somebody.Coach Minyard holds his arm in the air.MINYARDDefense. Defense on three! 1.2.3.DEFENSIVE PLAYERSDefenseSTRONGOk guys listen up, you guys are playing a good game. The score is 0-0. Someone’s going home a loser tonight gentlemen, need I say more.STRONGBreak it out on Jbeall.Jbeall raises his arm.JBEALL1.2.3.TEAMTribe!The Indians line up in a single file line again and walks out of the locker room (An aggressive beat starts to play) The Indian fans stand up and start screaming. Some fans are blowing bull horns,some are using electronic microphones to scream into. There are hundreds of people cheering on the elevated railroad tracks outside the sold out game. Coach Strong stands on the sideline with his head set on. He turns to JBeall.STRONGLets go, twins left 48 fly.JBeall runs out to the huddle and repeats the play to the quarter back.JBEALLTwins left 48 fly.The quarter back turns around and repeats it to the huddle.QUARTERBACKTwins left 48 fly.The huddle breaks and jogs to the line of scrimmage. The center hikes the ball to the quarterback. Jbeall goes out for a 20 yard pass. The quarter back makes a fake hand off to the running back. The full back (Brian) runs out into the flat. The quarter back see’s Jbeall. The quarterback makes a complete pass to JBeall. Jbeall runs 30 yards before he his tackled. The quarter back steps back and throws the ball to Quintilly.Quintilly catches the ball with one hand and runs it in for a touch down. The fans go crazy. The defense is in a huddle. JJSteel stands in front of the huddle as if he is calling the play. The Huddle breaks. The ball is hiked. The whole defense blitz the quarter back. The quarter back is taken down hard from behind by JJsteal. Coach Minyard is on the sideline.MINYARDThat’s what I’m talking about, tear his fucking head off.The opposing quarter back throws a short 5 yard pass. The receiver catches the ball and breaks away for a 65 yard touch down run. The opposing teams head coach is standing on the sideline holding both arms in the air signaling touch down. The opposing team fans will not stand up, they just sit there and clap.The opposing team kicks off to the Indians. The Indians receive the ball and run it back for an 85 yard touch down.STRONGP.A.T… P.A.T.CARPENTERField goal team lets go.The field goal team runs out on to the field. The ball is hiked. The opposing team’s defense rushes through BST’s hole and blocks the field goal. Jbeall is out on the field. Jbeall looks to BST.JBEALLGod damn it, they give one position and you fuck it up.BSTQuite you’re bitching, it’s only a point.Strong turns to the up stairs booth and pushes the control button on his head set.STRONGThat just fucked us.STUNNERI know.The opposing team has the ball on the Indians 30 yard line. The quarter back drops back, a larger whole opens in the center of the field. The quarter back tucks the ball and makes a runs for it. The quarter back cuts back and forth dodging tackles. The quarter back scores. The field goal team comes out. The ball is hiked. The kicker kicks it right through the up rights.The score board shows 13-14 opposing team with 45 seconds left in the game. The Indians have the ball on the 50 yard line. The ball is handed off to the running back. The running back hits an open whole between the center and the right guard and breaks away with a spin move. He runs for 30 yards before he is taken down.The Indian fans go crazy as the team runs down the field to get closer to the new line of scrimmage. The huddle breaks The team runs to the line of scrimmage. There is only 15 seconds left on the clock. The quarter back calls twins right 99 post. The ball is hiked the offensive line bocks everybody, no one gets through. The quarter back throws the ball to an open receiver. The receiver bobbles the ball in the end zone as time expires.The clock runs to ZERO and the receiver clearly regains control of the ball takes two steps in the end zone before going out of bounds. The fans go crazy. The head ref runs up signaling “no control of the ball”, incomplete pass. The opposing team wins the game. Coach Strong runs across the field. Strong and the referee go at it face to face.STRONGWhat the fuck is your problem?REFHe didn’t have control of the ball before he exited the end zone.STRONGI am having you investigated by the UIL.REFYou can’t prove shit, Strong.STRONGThese boy’s deserve this win, he caught that pass and you fucking know it.REFGet over it, its over.Coach Strong is pulled off the field by the assistant coaches. JBeall stands emotionless then sheds a single tear. JBeall takes off in a dead sprint JBeall blinds sides the ref with a bone crushing hit. The ref is knocked out by the force of the tackle.JBeall stands up and casually stares at the refs dead like body and walks off. JJ and Brian walk up beside JBeall, the three walk off the field with the riot of angry fans behind them. The team loads on the bus as quick as possible. Various players have their heads down in depression.INT. – SCHOOL BUS -- NIGHT AFTER GAMESome players are looking out the window with expressions of hopelessness. JBeall steps on to the bus. Jax walks up behind Jbeall and approaches the bus.JAXNumber 41!JBeall turns around slowly.JAXWhat’s your problem?JBEALLWhat do you think is my problem, we just got our season taken away from us by a chicken shit ref?JAXOh my god, are you serious? It’s a football game.JBEALLIt’s a way of life that we have been living for the past 6 years, now it’s gone and you’re going to stand there and disrespect it.JAXI just wanted to tell you that my parents are cooking out tomorrow at the lake all day, it would be nice if you stopped by. There’s not a set time, just stop by whenever. Who knows we might be able to work things out.JBEALLI don’t know, I have to go.JBeall walks on to the bus. Strong is right behind him. Strong looks at the bus driver.STRONGLets go.The bus pulls up to the Indians field house. The team walks inside and throws their bags down in front of each of their lockers. The whole team is sitting down when Coach Strong walks into the locker room. The emotions are strong; players sit with their heads down.STRONGI’m sorry guys, I don’t know what I can do to help the pain.Strong looks at the floor with his hands on his hips.STRONGI know I’m going to miss ya’ll seniors. You guys have made this year exciting and I will remembered this season for the rest of my life. You guys have grown close to me through out the years and if any of ya’ll ever need anything in the future, I and the rest of my coaching staff will always be here for you.Strong looks at his watch.STRONGFor the underclassmen, off season starts tomorrow. There is never a day off in my program. If I come across a little strange, I apologize. I usually go through a two week depression every year when my senior players move on.Every players eye’s are red from crying while.STRONGI’m sorry guys.Strong walks out of the locker room. JBeall stands upJBEALLI want all senior players to meet at my grandparent’s house. Only senior players are invited…… Be there in an hour.EXT. -- OUTSIDE BY THE POOL -- NIGHTJJSteel, JBeall, and Brian are sitting around the pool back at JBeall’s grandparent’s house. There are several coolers full of beer, a table stands in the middle of a circle of chairs with a bong sitting on top.JBEALLSo what was Jess’s excuse for not coming to the game tonight.JJSTEELShe went to the movies with her friend same as last week.JBEALLRight.JJSTEELNo really she showed up and watched the whole game.JBEALLGood for you.Jbeall holds up his beer mug as the seniors start driving up and getting out of their vehicles. Quintilly walks up first.QUINTILLYHow’s it going?Quintilly gives JJSteal, JBeall, and Brian a hug.By that time the whole senior team has arrived.JBEALLEverybody grab a beer and lets have a good time.Everybody is reminiscing and passing the bong around. The pool is calm and you can hear the crickets chirping in the background. JJSteel and Brian are whispering back and forth to each other. JJSteal and Brian turn and look at JBeall. JBeall notices and looks back at them.JBEALLWhat? JJSteel we know this is supposed to be a guy’s night outBRAINDon’t you think it would be a lot more remembered if we had some naked ass’s running around.JBEALLNo, I planned for this to be a guy’s night out, what I say goes!The next thing you know, the music is turned up, and the pool is full of the entire football team with the naked strippers. Random girls are doing keg stands with no tops on. Coach Carpenter is at the party; he finds a pogo stick and hops all the way across the pool deck and into the shallow end. Coach Carpenter pulls himself out of the pool and walks up to JBeall.CARPENTERYou have to admit JBeall, this is a lot more productive.JBeall is snorting a line of cocaine off the butt of a cstripper that is laying across his lap. He then licks the remaining residue off of her. When he lifts his head up, he has cocaine all over his nose.JBEALLIt’s fucking great, I seriously want to thank you for pulling some strings and having these strippers come and entertain us.CARPENTERIt’s what I do.JJSteel snort his off a female and lifts his head.JJSTEELI told you JBeall, I told you.Brian is sitting right next to JBeall, he abruptly throws up.BRIANI know I’m having the time of my life.JJSteel looks at Brian with disgust. JBeall picks up the girl he has laid over his lap and throws her over his shoulder right before he jumps into the pool. Coach Carpenter pulls a women walking by into a bear hug and jumps into the pool.INT. –JBEALL’S HOUSE --AFTERNOONThe next day JBeall wakes up in his bed and looks at his clock, it reads 4:00pm. He drags himself out of bed and gets dressed.EXT. –JBEALL’S HOUSE --AFTERNOONJBeall calls Ashley as he’s walking out to his car.ASHLEY (VO)HelloJBEALLWhat are you doing?INT. – ASHLEY’S HOUSE -- AFTERNOONASHLEYSitting around waiting for you to call me.EXT. –JBEALL’S HOUSE --AFTERNOONJBEALLYour overly confidentINT. – ASHLEY’S HOUSE -- AFTERNOONASHLEYWhat did ya’ll do last night.EXT. – JBEALL’S HOUSE --AFTERNOONJBEALLThe football team came over and we had a little get together.ASHLEY (VO)Did you have fun?JBEALLYeah, it was ok.ASHLEY (VO)What are you doing today.JBEALLI was planning on going to Jax’s house to say hi to her and her parents.INT. – ASHLEY’S HOUSE -- AFTERNOONASHLEYReally! You and her back together?JBEALL (VO)No. So what are your plans this evening?ASHLEYI don’t know, I’m going to eat with my parents in a few minutes. Look I have to go, have fun at Jax’s.Ashley hangs up on Jbeall.INT. -- JJSTEEL’S CAR -- SAME TIMEJJSteel speeds down a road on his way to Jess’s house when Jbeall calls.JJSTEELJbeall what’s up?INT. -- JBEALL’S CAR -- AFTERNOONJBEALLHeading over to Jax.INT. -- JJSTEEL’S CAR -- AFTERNOONJJSTEELWhy are you doing that?JBEALL(VO)To say hi to the family.JJSTEALAlright well have fun.JBEALL (VO)Later.JJsteal hangs up the phone and puts it in his shirt pocket.EXT. -- JAX’S LAKE HOUSE -- DUSKJbeall pulls into Jax’s drive way. Jbeall exited the vehicle and walks to the front door. Jbeall knocks on the front door and Jax comes to the door. Jax is looking behind her and laughing at something going on inside the house. Jax turns around and she looks at Jbeall with a gulilty expression across her face, as if to suggest she wasn't expecting him.JAXHey. Why are you coming over so late.JBEALLJust woke up. You told me to come over whenever.JAXI’ve been out on the lake all day, think I’m bout to take a nap.JBEALLTake a nap!!!A truck pulls in to the driveway. A guy JBeall doesn’t know steps out and walks toward him. The strange guy walks past Jbeall and stands beside Jax.JAXI think you need to leave.JBEALLI need to leave?Jax looks at the strange guy as if she’s expecting him to by her act.JAXYou know you’re not invited to my house anymore.JBEALLWhat?Jax points to Jbeall’s car.JAXYou’re a loser to me and my parents. Now go.Jbeall turns around and smiles at the fact that they are finally over. Jbeall gets into his car and drives away. An aggressive but meaningful song is played.MONTAGE:EXT. -- JESS’S HOUSE -- DUSK (SAME TIME)JJsteel pulls into Jess’s driveway. He gets out and walks to the front door and knocks.INT. – JBEALL’S CAR – DUSK (SAME TIME)Jbeall is heading fast down a windy lake road on his way to Ashley’s house.EXT. -- JESS’S HOUSE -- DUSK (SAME TIME)No one comes to the door, so JJsteal lets himself into Jess’s house.INT. -JESS’S HOUSE -- DUSK (SAME TIME)JJsteel walks into the main entrance hall wayINT. – JBEALL’S CAR – DUSK (SAME TIME)Jbeall is cruising down the road with his window downINT. -JESS’S HOUSE -- DUSK (SAME TIME)JJsteel walks into the living room to finds no one there. He then travels to the kitchen to find two half full glasses of red wine.INT. – JBEALL’S CAR – DUSK (SAME TIME)Jbeall is driving through town text messaging AshleyJbeall’s Text: What are you doing?INT. -- JBEALL’S CAR -- NIGHT (SAME TIME)Jbeall puts the cell phone in his lap then starts shifting gears as he is speeding through town trying to get to Ashley’s house.INT. -- JESS’S HOUSE -- NIGHT (SAME TIME)JJsteel see’s a light at the end of the hall way where Jess’s room is and walks to the door.INT. -- JBEALL’S CAR -- NIGHT (SAME TIME)Jbeall receives a text from Ashley.Ashley’s text: Headed back to my house. Where are you at? Jbeall tosses the phone in the passenger seat without replying.INT. -- JESS’S HOUSE -- NIGHT (SAME TIME)JJsteel knocks on the door, no one answers. JJsteel opens the door. The look on JJsteal’s face is priceless.INT. -- JESS’S ROOM -- NIGHT (SAME TIME)There are two girls on the bed. Jess is one of them. The other girl is laying on her back. Jess is on all fours on top of her. Jess moves her own hair out of her face. Jess motions with her finger for JJsteel to join in. JJsteel puts his hands together and thanks God as if his prayers have been answered.INT. -- JBEALL’S CAR -- NIGHT (SAME TIME)Jbeall is on Ashley’s street. Jbeall pulls off of the side of the road in front of Ashley’s house. Jbeall gets out of the car and waits on Ashley to arrive.INT. -JESS’S BEDROOM -- NIGHT (SAME TIME)JJsteel runs across the room dropping his pants. JJsteel jumps onto the bed with Jess and the other girl. Both girls start kissing JJsteel and feeling on his chest. JJsteel is on top of both girls. JJsteel is kissing both at the same time. The two girls are pinching JJsteel’s nipples.EXT. -- ASHLEY’S HOUSE -- NIGHT (SAME TIME)Ashley pulls into her driveway and gets out by the road. Ashley walks around the vehicle, stops and stairs at Jbeall. Jbeall is leaning against the trunk of his car. Ashley walks over to Jbeall and places her head on his chest and hugs him Ashley lets out a deep breath of air and closes her eye’s. Jbeall leans away from his car and smiles. Jbeall places his hands on Ashley’s legs and picks her up.Ashley and Jbeall kiss then pull their faces away and smile.The aggressive song stops.THE END.A phone starts to ring.INT. -- BST’S CAR – DUSK (SAME TIME)BST is driving fast down a county dirt road as he makes a call to Brian.Brian is working hard in a pasture and hear his phone ringEXT. – OPEN PASTURE --DUSKBRIANHello.INT. -- BST’S CAR – DUSK (SAME TIME)BSTHey bro, what are you doing?BRIAN (V.O.)Working what do you want?BSTJust wanted to call and tell you that I’m on my way to pick up that new banging hot freshmen. You know the black hair, blue eyed one.BRIAN (VO)Why are you picking her up? She’s like fourteen years old?BSTBST’s got to break the bitches in early.BRIANGood luck on that.BSTI don’t need luck. I have a something for her.BST holds a medicine bottle in front of him.BSTThis one isn’t going to be able to fight back like the last one did.BRIAN (VO)I don’t need to be hearing this.Brian hangs up on BST.BST gets offended and throws his phone in the back seat.BSTPussy.BST goes to turn the radio on and in the process, drops the medicine bottle.Deuce and Bucky come on the radio.BSTShit!Deuce and Bucky come on the radio in the back ground while BST looks for his medicine bottle on the floor board. When BST looks up, he notices a oak tree coming head on.BSTShit!BST hits the oak tree and flies through the windshield.BST lies motionless in a puddle of blood with shards of glass sticking out of his throat.DEUCE (VO)Well to all the fans of Jacksonville football and especially those seniors... ya’ll keep trucking. You never know what opportunity you might find around the corner. As far as next year, we got it covered.This is Deuce and Buckey signing out, if it ain’t a pair of wranglers on your ass it’s probably because aint got one.BST lies motionless on the hood in a puddle of blood with shards of glass sticking out of his throat.THE END
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Man Loves Machine (Post It Commercial)
Aug 24, 2008
I cheat on my vacuum with another vacuum. Most of the time it is at a car wash because they suck the hardest. This time I had no quarters.
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( Votes)

Perfect Circle - A Stranger
Jul 30, 2008
This is a compilation of footage to make you think about what we are as life forms.
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Why I'm the real Internet Pimp
Jul 23, 2008
OK king khaos you may have hos and do your biz online. i'll give you that but, peep diz. One night I was on craig's list and decided to check out the section were people leave random remarks. This one bitch said she was going to be at a wendy's by greenville. She said if some one happens to come by between the hours of 2 and 4 than we would fuck. well you can only guess what I did. I ran Up to wendy got some fries and scoped the place out. When I noticed her dressed in her sexy wendy's shirt with headset I said to myself damn she's the one. I dated her for four years and we became engaged. I was truly in love with her and felt that things were going great. That was until the summer time . I found a half used bottle of sex lotion on her counter. When I confronted her about it. The only answer she could come up with was that she used it on herself. See here is the part that chokes me up. There was hair all over the outside of the bottle. I could just picture another man boning her from behind while pulling her hair out as he goes to dump out half the bottle on his cock. I know this happened cuz i witnessed it. I walked in and found them. I should have stopped when I was in her room and saw the lines of coke and heard the fucking in the bathroom. I rushed home and downloaded a picture of a local model and assumed his identity on craig's list. After requesting her friendship on myspace I began a long planned revenge based on love letters I wrote under the name B Rad who she fell in love with. We agreed to meet at a starbucks.. I never showed. Ha! If I die tonight at least I know I got my revenge. You may be thinking wow thats not too pimpish of you velvetj. Its kinda desperate and uncool. Well peep this shit cuz you know I stay steady pimpin. I recorded every time we had sex on a secret camera then composed a master dvd which was sold to internet porn sites and sent in the mail to everyone listed in her phone.Thats why Im internet pimpin
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It was 4:20 in the Morning and I was bored
Jul 23, 2008
Me and the animals had a little barnyard fun. I put peanut butter all over my ballz. I made those animals pay. Oh yes it was a night they would never forget.
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Story of Bill Treasures
Jul 23, 2008
In 1846 Bill Treasures was on a boat some were off the Gulf of Mexico. His parents owned several acres of land in Texasfor the soul purpose of bringing Jesus to the heathenish indigenous tribes in hopes of enlightening their simple lives.The winds were calm and it was their last day on the boat. Soon on their ship would reach Galveston but, not before an aggressiveencounter with a band of pirates. They were not ordinary pirates. No they were Mexican pirates the most ruthless and unsanitaryrace of pirates on the gulf. One of the pirates takes a shit off the side of the boat and wipes his ass with his hand. Bill wasin his mothers womb at the time but, at the sight of a hand full of shit Mrs. Treasures faints and unconsciously gives birth to littleBill Treasures jr. His father immediately goes to pick the child up off the deck when a pirate places a blade beside his neck.The pirate that wiped his ass with his hand walks up to the new born and scoops him off the deck. Bill's head was anointed withMexican shit. Everyone on the boat was made to walk the plank including Bill's mother and father. The pirates decided to takethe newborn and raise him as their own but, not before cutting the umbilical cord with a rusted knife.Bill grew up not knowing his true origin. The mexican pirates were more pimps than care takers. Poor Bill was whored outfrom the age of seven. He was sent into Wal-marts and made to shop lift even steal purses of the shoulders of old ladies. Bythe age of eight he was put on the streets of Harry Hines in Dallas Texas to push crack cocaine to prostitutes. One day Bill'sadopted father the head of the mexican mofioso calls Bill into his pent house room on Harry Hines. When Bill enters the pent househe was big enough to be a man but still carried the mind of a child do to a slight mental retardation. His grandfather pimp tapshis long pinky nail on the sky rise window.Grandfather Pimp- I want you to know something. Your real name is Bill not puto. I feel kinda bad about whoring you out. I want you to be able to live a lifeoutside of crime and drugs. So, I am going to give you a grip and I want you to go out there and learn how to fly essay. Be everythingyou ever wanted to be just don't come back. Now get out of go.Bill turns to walk out the door.Grandfather Pimp- Just remember something essay. You always had wings.The grandfather pimp then throws himself off the balcony of his highrise and onto the streets of Harry Hines.Bill took the money the pimp had given him and partied ballas to the wall. He spent it on hookers, drugs and taco bueno until he had nothingbut the clothes on his back. Trottin down with depression and the dire need of a caseo fix Bill began to wonder the lonely texas highwayshitch hiking and giving Bj's to nasty truckers from Galveston to Amarillo. It was on a secluded road near Rusk Texas were Bill was knocked over the headand left for dead on the side of the road.When Bill awoke he was without clothes and unable to move his legs. He would have died that day if it were not for the grace of god and a youngdecent looking woman by the name of Wendy. Wendy tied Bill to the back of her truck and pulled him to her cabin five miles deep into the woods. It was in thatwere for four years Wendy taught Bill how to love, live and thrive again without the use of his penis. Since childhood Wendy had been taught by her father, ataxidermist, to stuff things. He even wrote in his will that he wanted Wendy to stuff him to preserve his body. It was this experience that enabled Wendy tostuff Bill's useless penis until it had the length and width of a full erection. When she was done stuffing Bill's dick she stuffed her recently deceased petarmadillo. It was was then that Bill got the idea to sell stuffed armadillos. Together the couple worked on having awkward sex and selling stuffed armadillosuntil they built the empire now known as Texas Treasures which now has sixteen locations around Texas and sales everything Texas. On an early winter morning Wendypassed away. Bill had her stuffed and put in the store window for 200 dollars and seventeen cents.
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Shot Gun (written by VelvetJ)
Jul 18, 2008
This is something I am still playing withEXT. -- BUCK CEMETERY -- DAYBREAK 1993He stands a couple inches over 6 foot wearing a ten gallon hat with a hawk feather stuck on the side of it. Ten miles outside of Gun Barrel city Big Mike kneels over the grave of Daryl H. Buck and takes off his hat.Wind blows as a hawk floats over the graveyard.A horrible cough is let out as Big Mike pulls a handkerchief from his back pocket and dabs his glistening forehead. A man in the background steps down from a Bulldozer and walks up to and stands right in front of the grave Big Mike is Kneeling at.GROTESQUE HILLBILLYWhat you want me to bull doze.Big Mike takes the tooth pick out of his mouth after a final clean of his rotted brown teeth then glances up at the grotesque Hillbilly while placing an electronic voice box against his neck.A hawk flies over head letting it’s beautiful majestic voice be heard.BIG MIKEAll of it.Big Mike Pulls out a large gold handgun and follows the hawk then notices a chirp in the grave yard were he is standing. BHe casually walks up to the baby bird and shoots it.The hawk lets out another high pitched yell.He then throws the gun up and slowly follows the hawk over his head.A shot echoes and rips the tip of the hawks right wing off. The large majestic bird dips into the woods.The grotesque looking Hillbilly walks away from Big Mikes’ long shadow towards the bulldozer. Mike unzips his pants and a golden arch wets down the tombstone while the hillbilly watches from the approaching bulldozer.BIG MIKEI bet you never thought you go from watering my seed to soaking up my piss.Big Mike zips his pants and proceeds to piss in his jeans.BIG MIKEHell, I’m not going to dig you up. That would be disrespectful. No, I think this is were I’m going to lay the pipe for the septic tank. Yep this looks like a good place to put the shitter.Big Mike Chuckles and hocks his breath back to clear his throat then puts a cigarette in his mouth. An arm covered in tatoos stretches out to light cigarette. Randy Spark, one of Big Mikes many meth addicted Mohawk wearing teenage followers, is dressed in black and has a look of wicked retardation.INT. -- THE BUCK MANOR -- (TEN YEARS EARLIER) NIGHTA heavy fog rolls through the trees and cakes the sky surrounding the two story Buck manor. The thick low level cloud seeps in the front door as if being sucked in by a black hole.MRS. BUCKBurrr! The weatherman said it’s going to snow all night.Mr. Buck Shakes the water beads from his broad shoulders and sets a log down beside the fire place. Mrs. Buck, a stunningly beautiful woman in her mid to late forties, warms her arms and leans into her husband as he reaches into the chimney.MR. BUCKIt’s just getting colder by the minute out there. This vent does not want to...A loud snap of metal on metal releases the vent and a nest of baby birds falls in the ash. The baby Birds stretch their necks out at Mr. Buck as the Mother cries from the top of the chimney.MRS. BUCKOh, Honey we can’t let them die we have to give them back to their mother.MR. BUCKThe mother won’t take them back. If we touch them so I guess that they are just going to have to sit in the ash until they are large enough to fly on their own.MR. BUCKThese birds can stay in the shed tonight. Tomorrow I will feed them and set them out to see if the mother wants to return to them. I’m going to pick up more wood.Mrs. BUCKIt’s getting worse be careful out there honey.MR. BUCKMake some hot coco and I’ll be back before it’s ready.Mr. Buck’s truck runs down a dirt road and stops beside a fallen tree with split wood beside it. He begins to pick up pieces of wood from a pile and places it in the back of his truck.He hears a scream from across the pasture. He grabs a flashlight from the truck and points it in the blinding fog.Mr. Buck approaches the screams there is a car on the side of the road that had wrecked into a tree. As Mr. Buck walks up to the wrecked car he points the light through the rear window.In the back seat a woman is laying on her back breathing heavy and holding her stomach as she moans in agony. Mr. Buck leans in and takes off his jacket placing it over the young lady.MR. BUCKJust hold on. I am going to get a doctor.WOMAN IN LABORNo the baby is coming now! Help me!She grabs Mr. Buck’s sleeve in agony then lets out a scream.INT. -- BUCK MANOR -- NIGHTMr. Buck walks through the front door and his wife immediately rushes to his side.MRS. BUCKI was getting ready to call a search party for you.She notices an urgent look on her husbands face.MR. BUCKTheir was a car that slid off the road and hit a tree. The mother is in the truck.Mrs. Buck stands in shock with her hand over her mouth and an expression of disbelief.MR. BUCKShe’s dead. The woman that gave birth.Mr. Buck turns to the side and reveals an infant under his coat.MRS. BUCKOh my God.Mr. BUCKGet a bottle with warm milk for the child. I am going call the sheriff.Mr. Buck hands the baby over to his wife.MR. BUCKIt’s a girl.EXT. -- BUCK MANOR -- NEXT DAYThere is a cop car and an ambulance parked in the Buck driveway. The Buck’s and the officer stand outside the steps of the mansion. Mrs. Buck is holding the baby in her hands as two men carry out the mother zipped up in a body bag. Mrs. Buck begins to cry and Mr. Buck holds her tightly.OFFICERWell we are going to find out who this woman was and the baby will be at the hospital until someone claims it.MR. BUCKNo one claims the mother.OFFICERNot yet.Mrs. Buck continues to cry.OFFICERWell, we are going to find out who she is and ran with then go from there.Mrs. Buck gently hands the officer the baby.Mrs. BUCKPlease let us know what we can do for this child.OFFICERWill do mam.A week later the Buck’s are sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast when the phone rings. Mrs. Buck is in the middle of drinking her orange juice. Mr. Buck places the morning paper down and walks to the phone.MR. BUCKHello.Mrs. Buck looks at the phone as if it were for her.V.O. OFFICERWell the parents of that pregnant woman are dead and the closet relative to her says she wants nothing to do with the funeral. We believe the father of that child is in jail for a methamphetamine charge. We are probably going to put the child in foster care.Mrs. Buck waits nervously by the kitchen window then looks out.MR. BUCKReally. Yeah sure we will be there.Mr. Buck hangs up the phone and slowly.MRS. BUCKIs the child alright.Mr. Buck walks over to his wife’s side.MR. BUCKNobody has claimed her.He pulls the hair back from his wife’s brown and adores her face.MR. BUCKCan you think of a name?She smiles and the two embrace.MR. BUCKThe girl had no close relatives and the father has been arrested in connection with a robbery. The child is going to be placed up for adoption. I’ve always wanted a child and I think you would be a great mother. This is our opportunity to be good parents to a little girl that needs a family.EXT. -- PRISON GATE -- DAYIt’s the summer of 1993 and fumes ripple across the ardent two lane road as a Sheriff’s car flies by a dead armadillo. A gold delorean car parks in front of the prison gate. He takes off his shades and hat rubbing the grease from his face Then uses it to slick back his back grey hair.He proceeds to take a match and place it in his mouth as the gate to the prison opens and Big Mike wearing wranglers and boots, walks out escorted by guards. Big Mike is holding a black duffle bag in his hand.A brown Sheriff car from Gun Barrel city rolls away kicking a cloud of dust behind it. Big Mike walks up to the car and opens the door throwing his bag in the back simultaneously.INT. -- GOLD DELOREAN CAR -- DAYBig Mike leans the seat back and lights up a smoke. The sheriff pulls out a zippo for Mike.SHERIFF GRISSI’m ready to get tore up with you bro. Hell, sixteen years of sobriety would kill a whiskey rebel like me.Sheriff Griss laughs exposing a mouth full of rotted teeth.BIG MIKEWell, I reckon I have a few things to take care of then we can get to the celebration. First things first I want to see my daughter.Sheriff Griss Pulls the lighter to his face and lights the cigarette in his mouth.SHERIFF GRISSShe’s got a boyfriend and he’s one huge son of a bitch. People say he’s going to have the school record.BIG MIKEWell, daddy’s girl knows how to pick’em.EXT. -- BIG MIKE’S HOUSE --The Sheriff pulls up to a Mansion in the woods. He steps out of cars crushing his fly boot heel into the gravel. Big Mike walks through the gravel path admiring the scenery.The topless women are in the pool playing chicken with each other. Mike opens the door and is quickly followed by his brother.SHERIFF GRISSSmells like home. How about a drink Mike.Mike’s brother heads to the bar and starts to mix up a drink.Big Mike throws his Bag down on the leather couch and props his feet on the couch and turns on a large television.BIG MIKEThe business must be doing well.SHERIFF GRISSLet’s just say the business has changed since you left.Griss hands his brother the drink.BIG MIKEI have to admit I dig the whole pig suit.SHERIFF GRISSThat’s all it is brother. I never give a ticket.A tall skinny retarded looking boys sporting Mohawks walk into the room.BIG MIKEWell holy shit. Who told all you to get the same hair cut as a fucking engine.SHERIFF GRISSI did. He follows our rule and our child. Lets just say I stumble across him. His parents left him for dead so Now he is our boy.RANDY SPARKNice to meet you.SHERIFF GRISSHe is quite but, probably my best driver.BIG MIKEYou mentioned him in a letter. They helped the time go by.Randy and Mike shake hands.BANY KINGI appreciate what you’ve done for my brother. You are one hell of a driver.RANDY SPARKIf it wasn't for your brother I’d be living in a jail cell.SHERIFF GRISSHey, I’m just making sure every one gets a chance to get on their feet.The Sheriff offers Mike a cigarette and looks out in the backyard at a girls floating topless in the pool.BIG MIKENice view. I see you are keeping it low key.SHERIFF GRISSThey are strippers. Some of the best customers I have. The business has branched out since you’ve been locked up. Pills come from Houston the weed comes from Dallas There is a small trailer home at the bottom of the hill were we cook the good shit.The Sheriff looks at his watch.SHERIFF GRISSIt’s almost three fifteen. Cody should be getting out of school in about ten minutes. Let’s see if she remembers her daddy.EXT. -- GUN BARREL HIGHSCHOOL PARKING LOT -- 3:15Sheriff Griss and Big Mike pull up to Gun Barrel High school and watch the mad rush of highschool kids rush to their cars. A young girl catching Mike’s eye hops in a truck.SHERIFF GRISSThat’s her.BIG MIKEShe looks just like her mother. Who is she riding with.SHERIFF GRISSHis name is Eroc King. His father works on stock cars at Thunder Mountain.BIG MIKEPull up to him.The sheriff’s car sweeps in beside Eroc’s truck. Big Mike’s door swings open before the car stops.BIG MIKECody! Cody!Eroc stops his truck as Big Mike walks up to his window.BIG MIKECody I know you don’t know me but, I’m your father. Your father as you know him just found your mother in a car beside the road. He helped her give birth to you then she died.Cody furls her brow and squints her eyes at the soft spoken man.CODYIt’s true baby girl your adopted and I’m your biological father.EROCGet lost you fucking creep.Eroc peels out leaving Big Mike in the tire smoke.INT. -- EROC’S TRUCK -- DAYCody and Eroc sit in silence as he drives away from the High School.EROCWhat the hell was that?EROCFucking weirdo.CODY BUCKThere was something familiar about his face.EROCWhy was that guy with a cop? Do you think your dad and are just trying to play some kind of prank on you.CODY BUCKI don’t know but, I better get home.EROCCome on Cody you can’t actually be taking this guy serious. I thought we were going to the pass.Eroc touches her thigh.CODY BUCKCan you please just take me home?Eroc looks at Shelly with a concerned expression.Cody BUCKPlease.INT. -- SHERIFF GRISS’S CAR -- DAYBig Mike sits watching other highschool girls walk to their car as he inhales a cigarette.BIG MIKEI want to know more about this Eroc kid.Sheriff Griss turns the wheel as the cop car slowly pulls out of the highschool parking lot.SHERIFF GRISSYou know his father. Banty King.BIG MIKEWell it’s a small world after all. I guess his crippled ass could have a kid.SHERIFF GRISSHis wife was a looney bitch that killed herself.The sheriff slows down beside an automotive store.SHERIFF GRISSThat is his father’s shop.It’ mom and pops’ store with a hand painted sign out front that reads King automotive.SHERIFF GRISSDo you want to go in?BIG MIKEWe will have to pay old Banty a visit soon enough. Besides it has been awhile since I’ve gotten my rocks off.INT. -- KING AUTOMOTIVE -- TWILIGHTEroc and Banty are in a garage beside a stock car. Eroc is at the rear of the car and Banty is under the hood.EROCPretty much just the exhaust.Eroc pulls the cover back exposing a race car.EROCAnd well this mirror hasn't arrived yet.Eroc pauses for a second and looks up.EROCA man in a cop car came looking for Scarlette at school today. He was claiming to be her father.Banty drops the wrench in the otherwise silent garage. The phone then rings.BANY KINGYou get on the phone and I’ll take a look at the exhaust.Using a nearby stool Banty pulls himself out of the wheel chair and unto a roller board then slides under the race car. The door creeps open and Eroc pokes his head in the garage.EROCMrs. Buck is here.BANY KINGSend her in.Banty still under the car flips off the light he was using to look at the exhaust and closes his eyes as oil drips on his face.MRS. BUCKI need your help Banty.BANTY KINGI want you to know I’m going to do what I can for you and your family. When Eroc’s parents died I raised him like my own son. I’ve raised him as if he were my own and there is nothing I wouldn't do for him. The same goes for your daughter. I love her as if she were my own daughter.MRS. BUCKThere is a man claiming to be Codys' father.Banty looks up at Mrs. Buck with thick bifocals and grease on his face.Cody’s father is back in town he was just released from prison. Good behavior. Listen I don’t want her seeing him and if he comes to you or your son I want you to tell me. He’s not going to take my daughter from me. Listen Banty I know it has been years since we have spoke and considering we are from the same small town and still live thereCody Buck stops to gather herself.I find it a bit ridiculous the extent we have gone to avoid running into each other. Especially since your boy and our daughter are so close. I’m just asking you extend the same supervision we would do for you and Eroc.BANY KINGI will do what I can to keep this man from seeing your daughter Cody. Relax you can sleep at night.MRS. BUCKThank you Banty.Mrs. Buck turns to go then stops herself.MRS. BUCKFor what it’s worth Banty I’m sorry.Mrs. Buck walks out the garage door to king automotive. As she leaves Banty remembers her the way he new her in High school when they were lovers.INT. -- GUN BARREL HIGHSCHOOL GYM -- NIGHT 1974Miss Buck and Banty are slow dancing. They gaze eye to eye as everyone in the gym dances to an old school slow jam.MISS BUCKI love you. You have to be the best thing that has ever happened to me.BANTY KINGThat’s nothing new.They look at each other and Banty’s serious look causing the young Miss. Buck to blush.MISS BUCKI’m pregnant.Banty smiles and embraces Miss. Buck.BANTY KINGI think we should go for a drive. Let’s get out of here I’m tired of dancing.Banty takes a flask out of his pocket and chugs a drink then hands it to Miss Buck. They both jump into the truck and slam the doors shut.INT. -- BANTY’S TRUCK -- NIGHTRain begins to pellet Banty’s Truck window.MISS BUCKBanty please slow down.Banty drinks from his flask then pushes further down on the gas pedal.BANY KINGYou don’t trust me babe. I’ve been driving this road since I was twelve.Banty hydroplanes across a curve.A deer suddenly darts across the road. Banty swerves to miss it causing his truck to flip into a ditch. She is hanging upside down In banty’s truck bleeding profusely.A young Miss Buck stops dancing and begins to embrace him with a hug and kiss. They dance in a circle and suddenly it is someone else dancing in her arms not Banty.Banty enters the gym in a wheel chair and begins to roll himself through the crowd until reaching Miss. Buck.Banty’s chair bumps into Mr. Buck as he dances with his future wife. Everyone stares at Banty as the band stops playing. Banty sips his flask then turns his chair to face Mr. Buck.BANTY KINGHow about a game Buck?A YOUNGER MR. BUCKI think you need to head home.Banty shoots the flask in the basket and looks at Miss Buck. Their eyes meet and she looks away.INT. -- KING AUTOMOTIVE REPAIR -- DAY 1994King Automotive repair shop hasn't left the sixties. The mechanics look like they are stuck in that time and they all are working on older model cars.Banty shuts the hood to the black sixties model cadillac he is working then glares on as a older model truck pulls up. It is Mr. Buck.Mr. Buck approaches Banty as he washes the grease from his hands.MISS BUCKHello Banty King.Banty looks away and starts to chuckle to himself.MR. BUCKPlease, I need your help.BANY KINGRemember when your dad took us hunting.Mr. Buck looks at Banty as he wipes forehead with the back of his hand. He puts up a wrench griped tightly in his hand.Mr. Buck motions to his wife to leave.MR. BUCKCody go to the car.A furious Shelly sheds a tear then walks out of the shop doors.MR. BUCKLets be men about this.BANTY KINGI might be in this chairBanty breathes deep.BANY KINGI may not be able to use my dick.Banty grips the wrench in his hands and suddenly drops it.BANTY KINGI’m more of a man then you will ever fucking dream to be. I’m raising your sisters bastard son while you fuck my old love sweetheart. You think you got balls bringing her here but,Banty swoops in on him with his chair his face wells with desperate emotion.MR. BUCKI’m sorry she left you but, it was something she had to do.Mr. Buck catches the wheel of Banty’s chair swinging him around.Banty throws himself out of his Chair and on to Mr. Bucks legs.Mr. Buck hits his head hard as he falls.BANTY KINGI remember telling you how much I loved her and how I want to marry her and have children.Banty watches the blood run from the back of Buck’s head.BANTY KINGI’m a realist. She left me because I can’t stand. Don’t come here and lie to me.Mr. Buck can barley speak. He then throws a hard head butt on Banty’s face crushing his nose.The two roll away from each other extremely injured.MR. BUCKI love her! I love my wife it’s not her fault you can’t feel your dick anymore.Banty spits blood off his face.BANTY KINGThat’s far enough.Banty pushes himself on a roller board under the car and begins to try and work as if nothing just happened.MR. BUCKI’m not Cody’s father. Her biological father is back in town. Somehow he has found her.BANY KINGHere I was thinking you gave her what I never could.Banty laughs and pushes himself from under the car. He takes off his glasses and wipes oil and blood from his brow.BANTY KINGTighten the suspension so it should be ready to race tonight. Your wife, Shelly she came by earlier and told me.MR. BUCKThis guy is an X con. He was caught with a lot of drugs and I don’t think he has the right to be in my daughters life.BANY KINGYou don’t believe in giving a man a second chance do you.Banty looks at Mr. Buck staunchly.MR. BUCKNot this one. Not with my daughter. I know your busy getting cars ready for the races so I’ll leave you.The door shuts leaving Banty in the garage by himself again. He slowly pulls himself under the car and flips on his flashlight. The dance floor lights up as Banty dances with a young cute girl in the high school gymnasium.INT. -- THE BUCK MANOR -- TWILIGHTCody walks through the front door and places her backpack down and slowly opens the fridge. Both parents walk up behind her as she bites into an apple.CODY BUCKDad, you won’t believe what happened to me at school today.Cody looks at her parents and immediately senses something wrong. She then stares at the blood on her fathers shirt.MR. BUCKWe need to talk sweety.Silence takes over the kitchen as She begins to realize what the silence means.CODYDad what’s wrong.MR. BUCKWe should have told you this before. You were adopted.CODYNo way. I get this. You guys are trying to punk me.Cody starts to cry and covers her mouth.CODYThis whole time you have known about him and you just lied to me.MRS. BUCKWe did it to protect you.CODYYou showed me pictures of my grandmother. You said we looked alike and that our noses were the same.Cody covers her face dramatically smearing her mascara.CODYWhat the fuck?MR. BUCKYour mother died as she was giving birth to you and your biological father was in prison.CODYHow come you didn't tell me this sooner.MR. BUCKHe is a bad man.CODYGood or bad he is my dad.MR. BUCKBaby don’t say that I’m your father I raised you. I’m the one who loves you not him. He’s going to bring nothing but, evil into your life. You don’t want to know him.Cody watches the man that has raised her beg. She then stares at her mother who is bitting her lip.MRS. BUCKWe didn't want you getting hurt baby.Cody looks out the window and takes another bite of the apple.CODYI feel like I don’t know who to trust.Mr. Buck hugs her.MR. BUCKListen. This man is in town now and I just don’t want you out and about until, until I have spoken to the authorities about him. I want to get a restraining order.CODYI want to meet him.MR. BUCKCody this is not a good man. He has done a lot of bad things.CODYThere is an inherent good in everyman.MR. BUCKNot this one.CODYI love you dad. You are and always will be my father. I believe he deserves a chance to see me.MR. BUCKI don’t want you seeing him and that’s final word on the issue.Mr. Buck stands up with a stern look on his face.MR. BUCKI’m not going to let you do that.Cody runs up to her room and a slams the door.INT. -- Cody’S ROOM -- NIGHTCody’s room is oxblood red with black and white photos of New York on her wall. She falls on her bed and picks up her phone and dials.CODYDo you feel like going to a house party tonight.EROC V.O.Why? You feel bad.CODYLet’s just say a little left behind.EROC V.O.You can’t sleep. Well, I’ll be there in a minute.Cody washes her face then stares blankly at her reflection in the mirror.INT. -- EROC’S ROOM -- NIGHTThere is a desk that looks like a shrine of power lifting trophy's next to his small bed. Hanging over his bed is a buck head mounted on the wall.The room is small and covered with brown carpet. The walls and ceilings are sponged with brown paint and dotted with posters of 80’s action heros.Eroc holds the phone with his cheek then kicks he feet up on the bed. Hanging on the wall by his bed is a picture of him and Banty beside a recently killed large buck.He puts the phone down slowly then gets up from is desk revealing both his large physique and the claustrophobia of the tiny room.Squeezing his shoulders down a short hallway to the kitchen Eroc takes two large scoops of weight gainer and throws them in a mixer along with a scoop of peanut butter. Eroc shakes the drink vigorously mixing it together.Banty rolls his wheelchair into the Kitchen were Eroc is.BANY KINGYou ready for the liftathon?EROCWhat the hell happened to your nose?Banty’s nose is bandaged up an one eye is badly bruised.BANY KINGAn exhaust fell hit me square in the nose.EROCYou got to be more careful. At least the whole car didn't fall on your chest.BANY KINGHow is yours feeling?Banty grabs Eroc’s arm and squeezes in an attempt to hurt him. Eroc flexes his arm.EROCI didn't do chest yesterday so I should have plenty of energy.Banty clicks on the television.BANTY KINGThere is some pizza in the fridge.EROCI’m not hungry.Eroc starts to open the door.BANY KINGWhere are you going?EROCScarlette called so I am going to go hang out with her for a little bit.BANY KINGMake sure you get some sleep tonight.Eroc continues out the door without responding to Banty.BANY KINGFeed the dogs before you leave.He steps out from behind a screen door with a hole in it. The wooden steps creak as he walks away from the trailer and into his pickup truck.INT. -- EROC’S TRUCK -- NIGHTEroc speeds down a dark desolate country road steering with his right wrist as his left hand.CODYHe’s my father.Eroc briefly diverts his attention from the road.EROCShut up you are not funny.Eroc notices the dried tear tracks on her face.CODYThat man at the school today was my biological father.EROCYou got to be kidding me.CODYI’m just finding this out because he has been in prison for the past sixteen years and is apparently evil.EROCI always thought you had a little devil in you.She smiles for the first time in several hours.EROCSo where are we going.CODYWendy’s friend is having a house party.EROCSo, you don’t know these people.CODYRelax they are friends of Wendy. She said most of them are stock drivers from Thunder Mountain.EROCThose guys are a bunch of meth heads. They are so fucking hillbilly.CODYYour not? Please listen to yourself talk.EROCThe way I talk and the way I act are completely different. You live in this town long enough you start to not notice it.CODYI’ve had a real fucked up day can we just get along tonight.EROCI though we were getting along. Don’t take your daddy issues out on me.She slaps Eroc.CODYThat’s not fucking funny.EROCIt was intended to be a joke. God I don’t get my cock sucked enough to put up with your shit.Eroc looks at Cody who is crying as she stares out the window.EROCListen I’m sorry.Eroc speeds up as they tear down the rural county road.EXT. -- BIG MIKE’S HOMECOMING PARTY -- NIGHTA mud covered truck pulls up beside the fire were people are gathered drinking beer.Wendy runs up to Cody with an enthusiastic hug. Eroc watches the people around the fire as if hesitant to approach.EROCWhat the fuck is that smell?WENDYCody!Wendy looks Scarlette in the eyes.WENDYYou’ve been cryingCODYWe need to talk.WENDYFirst lets get a beer. I want you to meet someone.Randy Sparks walks up to the three standing at the front of Eroc’s truck.RANDY SPARKWhat’s up any you guys roll?Eroc furls his brow.EROCWhat?RANDY SPARKI said lets roll, the party is really in the house.Eroc stares right through Randy as if he could punch him in the face with no remorse.Eroc steps out and dumps the rest of his protein shake on the ground and spits as Cody follows Wendy and Randy up to the house.EROCCody.She pauses slightly before entering the house and does not look back at Eroc.INT. --BIG MIKE’S HOUSE-- NIGHTRANDY SPARKWhat’s up man have a beer.Eroc doesn't look at Randy Sparks. He just keeps staring at Scarlette.EROCNo thanks.A angry smirk runs across Randy Spark’s face.EROCSay man do you have a staring problem?RANDY SPARKI heard you just broke Big Mike’s bench record. It would be disrespectful to come to his home and not say hello.Randy Looks at Cody as she walks closer to a picture on the shelf.RANDY SPARKCome on Cody, lets go say what’s up to Big Mike.Randy turns and starts walking up stairs. Cody grabs Eroc by the hands and pulls him with her. Eroc watches Randy intensely as the Three walk up to the balcony were people are playing pool.RANDY SPARKWhat’s up man.Randy leads them past the pool table grabbing beer along the way from a man wearing a Mohawk. Every guy in the house has a Mohawk haircut.RANDY SPARKNot long now. You are about to break through.A closed door at the end of the halls emits smoke and music from the crack beneath it.They walk down the hall and up to the door Randy knocks with rhythm.INT. -- BIG MIKE’S SMOKE FILLED ROOM-- NIGHTThe room is lit completely by black lights and is clouded with smoke. In the room is four guys with Mohawks and six girls including Wendy and Scarlette.Eroc looks at Big Mike who is in the front of the room drawing smoke from a 8 ft. bong. He exhales in Scarlette’s face. The looks at the bong and grins with gold teeth.BIG MIKEI think I likes you.He takes the hit then walks to a stripper sitting on his bed with her top off. The stripper hugs Big Mike as she clears he smoke from the bong she blows smoke it Eroc’s direction.BIG MIKEI think she likes you.EROCI’m not interested in strippers whores.The stripper gives Eroc an upset evil glare then pokes her lips out.BIG MIKEWe are all whores Eroc. Jesus fucked a whore! Now you come in my house and talk to my girls with that disrespectful tongue.Big Mike comforts the topless stripper on his arm as an innocent expression comes across her face.BIG MIKEHey babe.Cody stands surprised as hell to be looking at her biological father.BIG MIKEYou know I wrote you everyday in prison. One day didn't go by when I wasn't thinking of my beautiful baby girl. You look just like your mother.Eroc impatiently looks out the room.CODYYou're my dad.CODYYou are my Daddy.Big Mike pulls his fingers across his visage.BIG MIKEYeah, I’m your daddy we look just alike can't you tell.EROCSo what were you in jail for?Randy shoots an evil stare at Mike as if asking for permission of some sort.BIG MIKEThat was a dark time in my life son and I would rather not talk to you about it now son.EROCYou are not my dad and I sure as hell ain't your son.BIG MIKEListen baby, I don’t want you feeling uncomfortable. You and your boyfriend just chill tonight we got plenty of time to get to know each other now.Big Mike looks at ErocBIG MIKESon, Why are you not drinking a beer.Randy laughs as he pulls his Mohawk back into a pony tail.EROCI ain’t your son old man.Big Mike coughs.BIG MIKEYou are my son. See everyone in this room is either my son or my daughter. See it is something spiritual something great boy. Now who are you to say you are not one of my son’s.Big Mike stands up in Eroc’s face. Eroc does not back down an inch.RANDY SPARKThat’s Eroc. He broke your bench Press record.BIG MIKEOh, You are the strong guy. I used to fuck strong guys like you in prison.Big Mike is joined in laughter as the bong gets passed back to him. All of a sudden Big Mike pulls out a different kind of pipe. One for smoking meth.EROCI’m out of here.Eroc does not seem amused. Big Mike grabs a beer and walks up to Eroc.BIG MIKEI’m just joking son have a puff.Big Mike puts the bong in Eroc’s face. He does not respond. Big Mike blinks in surprise as if he was just waiting for Eroc to give into temptation.EROCNo, thanks I have the regional lift tomorrow.Big Mike Takes a swig of beer and looks haughty at Eroc.BIG MIKEFor me it was never an option. Boy I was born with a pipe in my hand. Now all my boys smoke so I think that is a bit disrespectful. You in my home. Let me show you some hospitality.A girl in the corner starts to cough after hitting the bong. Big Mike turns around and stares at her.BIG MIKEShut up bitch. You ain’t even on the train yet.They both join in a fucked up laughter that could only be in unison.He then turns back around and looks at Eroc. The bong is passed to Wendy who takes a rip then hands it to Cody. She hesitates for a second then sets the bong down on a table. Big Mike picks the bong up and puts it in her face. He then takes out an orange lighter and lights the bowl for her.EROCYou don’t have to do that.Cody takes the bong in her hand.CODYIt’s cool. I’ll just take a small one.BIG MIKEHow much are you going for boy? You trying to max out on some heavy weight.EROC400.Big Mike laughs hystericallyBIG MIKEThat’s fifty pounds over what I did at your age. You are talking bench press right.Eroc nods.BIG MIKECome with me Eroc I want to show you something. Cody stay here with Randy we’ll be right back.Eroc looks at Cody who is laid back against the couch in a calm state.EROCYou going to be alright.CODYYeah I’ll be fine go.Big Mike walks down his hall and into another room followed by Eroc. He then opens a closet door and grabs a box on a high shelf.BIG MIKEYou must love my little girl the way you was talking to her.EROCShe doesn't even know you man.BIG MIKEOh I know her. I’m her daddy. I hope you understand I just want to be a good dad. While I can.Big Mike pulls a key out of his pocket and opens the lid of the wood grain box. Inside the box are two gold plated desert eagles surrounded by black velvet.BIG MIKEI don’t pull these out unless I want to kill someone.He pulls one of the guns out.BIG MIKEThen again sometimes I just feel like showing them off.Big Mike hands the gun to Eroc.EROCIt’s real nice.Eroc looks at the gun front and back then hands it to Mike.BIG MIKEThis one is yours if you bench 400 tomorrow.Eroc laughs but, Mike does not.EROCThanks, but I already got a gun.A puzzled look runs across Big Mikes face.BIG MIKEYou like this?Eroc takes a harder look at the gold desert eagle.EROCNo, I have a gun.Big Mike laughs out of control.BIG MIKEWhat kind of gun is that.He suddenly stops and looks at Eroc who is walking out the door.EROCShot Gun.Eroc walks back down the hall and into the room were Cody and Randy stand talking. He takes her by the arm.EROCLet’s go.Cody pulls against Eroc at the front door.CODYJust wait. My real dad is up there. I want to get to know him. Give him a chance to be in me life. He deserves it.EROCI think you need to slow down and think about this. The man was in prison for sixteen years. That’s hard time and you don’t even know what for. He’s not your family.CODYI told my parents I was staying with Wendy tonight. Go get some rest I’ll be fine.Eroc conveys anger with his paused expression and stern brow.EROCDo what you want.Eroc starts up his truck and speeds away racking off his pipes. Sheriff Griss walks up to Big Mike who is watching Eroc and Scarlette form an upstairs window. He watches Eroc leave and begins to grin.SHERIFF GRISSI think it’s time to christen your daughter.Big Mike and Griss walk back into the room.BIG MIKEAlright guys the cotton candy time. The bubble train is about to leave the station.Big Mike grabs a black box from a stand beside the TV. Goerge Bush Senior is giving a speech about the Gulf war.Who’s hoping on?INT. -- BIG MIKE’S MANSION -- EARLY MORNINGCody and Randy are sitting on the living room couch as he props his mud covered boots on the table she stretches across her lap. She takes a hit of the meth pipe.Her blonde hair hangs over her face while she lights the pipe. Randy grabs her hair and pulls it out of her face and into a pony tail. Cody hacks out a cough then passes the glass pipe to Randy.RANDY SPARKColder than the iceberg that sunk the titanic.Cody licks her lips.CODY BUCKThis shit makes me horny.RANDY SPARKHuh. I thought it was just me.Cody lays her stomach across his lap and lets him admire her ass. Randy then slaps her ass and squeezes it.Randy Sparks grabs her head and shoves it on his lap. She begins to unzip his pants.CODY BUCKI shouldn't do this.RANDY SPARKDo what feels good baby.Randy grabs Cody’s wrists and pulls them behind her back as they begin to kiss he rubs his hand between her legs.INT. -- GUN BARREL HIGH SCHOOL BASKETBALL GYM -- MORNINGThe gym is a rusting structure with cob webs hanging from the top corners. Large men walk up to a young boy squatting so much weight the bar across his shoulders is bent.The young power lifter begins to scream and pushes the weight up as he does. He then racks the weight as his coach slaps his ass.Banty positions his chair right inside the door as his nephew E-roc prepares for his lift.COACHThat’s what I’m talking about! Yeah baby!The people that were standing around the squat rack and slowly move to the bench press were Eroc is laying down under a barbell. A spotter is behind Eroc with his hands on the barbell.SPOTTERYou need a lift off.EROCDon’t touch the bar I got it.The potter takes his hands off the bar. Eroc lifts the bar off the rack then slowly lowers it to his chest. The shirt he is wearing rips around the arm pits as he pushes it up at the same pace.As the bar is racked the lifters and coaches around Eroc begin to clap. Eroc then gets up and stretches his arms and neck.SPOTERHow much do you want to add?EROCPut 400 on there.The crowd around Eroc’s bench doubles as more and more people leave what they are doing to watch Eroc lift 400 pounds until he holds the attention of the entire gym.EROCI got this come on baby.E-roc’s uncle Banty watches from the doorway as he nods in approval to E-roc who looks at him before sitting on the bench press machine.Eroc gets under the bench and wipes the sweat from his brow. He then grips the bar lifts it.The bar slowly comes down on his chest as he exhales the weights begins to come off his chest. Eroc pushes the weight halfway up when the bar slips out of his right hand.BANY KINGEroc!The bar comes crashing down on the right side of Eroc’s chest as spotters watching quickly grab the bar and pull it off of him.People in the crowd immediately jump to their feet.SPOTTERSomeone call 911. It’s going to be ok.EROCI can’t breathe.INT. -- HOSPITAL X-RAY ROOM -- DAYA doctor holds an x-ray up to the light as showing a man with long hair in a wheelchair.DOCTORThree of his ribs were broken and his spleen was ruptured.The doctor breaks the news to Banty as he smacks his gum.DOCTORHe will heal eventually it is just going to take some rehabilitation. He is going to have to wear a full upper body cast for about three months.EXT. -- BIG MIKE’S METH TRAILER -- NIGHTBig Mike walks up to the door of a trailer house. Cody is with him and Randy is right of her.CodyThe smell it a lot stronger now.BIG MIKEThat is the smell of gold my child.Big Mike opens the door to the trailer house.BIG MIKENow this is where all the magic happens.Randy Picks cody up from behind and carries her up the steps.CODYPut me down I can walk.Randy sets her down at the entrance. She looks in and is amazed to see a working meth lab complete with tubes empty suddafed boxes and bubbling beakers. It is a real working Meth lab.BIG MIKEYou are in the nest now and any little good birdie that comes to the nest knows to keep their beeks closed about the nest. Are we understood.Cody nods.BIG MIKEGood.INT. --HOSPITAL EROC’S ROOM -- DAYEroc is on the bed unconscious. He is wearing a cast that covers his upper body. The door to his room opens and coach Strong walks in with the presence of a dictator.He is carrying a video tape in one hand and a large straw hat in the other. The coach pulls up a chair beside Eroc and sets the tape on his food table.Coach StrongI want you to know everyone on the team is upset about what happened and I want you to know I have all the hopes in the world to see you have a complete recovery. In the meantime we moved Hopkins to your position and he’s learning.Eroc is so drugged all he can do is barely move his head.COACH STRONGHe sure as hell ain't a returning All District Player. I brought you a tape of the first two teams we play. In the mean time get some rest and try to heal up. The players all signed this ball for you.Coach Strong sits the ball beside the video and begins to walk out of the hospital room as the morphine drips in the IV. The coach walks into Banty and the two shake hands.EROC’S FATHERThanks for coming by to see him coach. He’s going to make a full recovery before the season coach.The coach looks at Eroc then Banty with uncertainty.INT. --EROC’S HOSPITAL ROOM-- TWO DAYS LATEREroc is in a bed with an IV hanging beside him. He turns his head slowly as the door to his room opens. Cody walks in and sits by the bed. She then kisses him on the lips softly and parts his hair with her fingers.CODY BUCKI brought you some movies to watch.Eroc turns his head toward Shelly and whispers.EROCI couldn't stop thinking about you. I hate it when we fight.Eroc sits on his bed with a cast covering his entire upper body and a bar extending his right arm into the air leaving only his left free. Cody is signing his cast with a black marker.INT. -- DALLAS POLICE STATION -- MORNINGHank Young, a tall lanky forty seven year old man with jet black hair, sits in a chair across from the captains desk anticipating the door behind him to open.He props his left leg on his right then clears his throat.The door behind him opens. The voices of two detectives bark over the other precinct noise.DETECTIVE 1I’m telling you chief it’s these middle of nowhere RV’s housed with a cranked up cook and a shit load of over the counters.DETECTIVE 2Tell him about Wells. Wells Texas population three hundred. A man dies in a mobile home before getting rid of twenty seven pounds of crystal meth. It’s not Mexico chief it’s our back yard.POLICE CAPTAINListen I want some solid leads not some hillbilly crack head that has already O. D.’d in his trailer house. We will get a narc to go under cover and sell better shit. We will get to the real supplier quicker. Now get out of here.The detectives peak in the Captain’s office at Hank who is sweating bullets as he drinks the rest of his water and wipes the sweat from his brow with a handkerchief. Hank looks at the two detectives in the captains doorway.DETECTIVE 1Oh don’t do it. Don’t shoot me HankThe second detective uses his hand as a gun and shoots the first detective. The two stand in the doorway laughing as the Chief of Police steps inside his office swinging the door shut behind him.The captain is holding a manila envelope in his hand and mug in the other. He then grits his teeth and taps the folder with his ring finger steadily sipping on his mug that read captain.Hank stands and extends his right hand as the captain walks past him to stare out a window looking down and onto the streets of Dallas.POLICE CAPTAINNumber one in the crime rate and the place where Kennedy got his brain’s blown out.The captain turns away from the window as if disgusted by the view.POLICE CAPTAINHave a seat Hank.They take a seat and the captain throws the folder onto his desk turns his chair to the side and props his left ankle on his right knee and the two look out the window onto the city.POLICE CAPTAINThere are two kinds of people in this world: preachers and pimps. good guys and bad guys, do gooders and bad doers.The captain glares out the window.POLICE CAPTAINNow I know what we are and I sure as hell know you didn't mean to shoot that kid.He pauses to take off his shoes and socks then sticks his feet in a hot water message tray beneath his desk. The makes a face as if a thousand pounds had been lifted from his shoulders.POLICE CAPTAINThis is going to be the deal. You need the rest and the press is breathing down my fucking neck right now. If that damn reporter leaves one more message.The captain’s phone rings and he quickly grabs it and slams it back down with a furious might then throws his hands down flat on the desk and looks Hank in the eyes.POLICE CAPTAINI have to put you on leave while this case is pending. Use this time to get some fresh air Hank. Go back to that little town your from, what’s it called. Hunt some animals. Just not the dangerous kind.HANK YOUNGWhich one is that.POLICE CAPTAINIf you look into it’s eyes you will see the man is a beast. Just go game hunting in Gun Barrel for a few months.HANK YOUNGGun Barrel.POLICE CAPTAINI wish I could tell you to take a cruise or get away for a while.The chief turns up the vibrations coming from his message chair.POLICE CAPTAINYou haven't taken a vacation as long as you have been on the force. Well, I’m giving you one now.HANK YOUNGA permanent one.The captain leans in towards Hank.POLICE CAPTAINYou are a good cop but, you need to lay low for a while. Let this blow over.Hank is wearing green polyester slacks cowboy boots and a white shirt as he walks out the police station’s revolving doors. He puts his jacket on then turns to look at the building he spent so many years.An officer walks past him as he heads down the station steps.OFFICERTaking a vacation Hank.HANK YOUNGSomething like that.A reporter by the name of Jenny Palka holds a voice recorder by his face.JENNY PALKAMr. Young Dallas Morning news can you comment on the events that lead to the shooting of eight year old Jorge Mendez.HANK YOUNGIt was unfortunate and saddens me. Believe me I’m sorry.JENNY PALKASorry doesn't bring a mother her child back.Hank steps into his car and rolls the windows down while cranking the engine. Hank looks at the station and watches it disappear in the rearview mirror as he makes a turn. The radio blasts as he cuts through downtown Dallas.INT. -- HANK’S APARTMENT -- DAYHank turns on his kitchen light and pours a shot of cheap vodka in a glass then opens the fridge to grab the orange juice and shakes it.Nothing comes out of the container so Hank just grabs the bottle and turns it up to chug while plopping in the recliner. Hank hear the phone ring and grabs his head holding it up with his hand and pulling his hair back to stretch his face.He waits for the answering machine which answers with a robotic voice instead of Hank’s. The machine beeps.V.O. JEREMY BUCKThis is Jeremy Buck Just calling to let you know that the cabin is still available for rent. If you would like to check it out I will be available tomorrow two to ten. The earlier you get here the better. I got mowing to do in the morning but, if you need directions my wife will be at the house all day so just give me a ring.The machine clicks and a female voice comes on delayed.V.O. JENNY PALKAThis message is for Hank Young. My name is Jenny Palka. I’m with kltk channel ten news. I would really like to get a statement over the events that transpired two days ago at Wilshire Apartments.Hank slams the bottle down after another chug and pulls his revolver from the bag he left the station with. He looks straight down the barrel then cocks the hammer back. Dawn breaks and Hank is still asleep in the chair as the door bell rings.Hank wakes up with the gun still in his hand and walks to the door. Through the peep hole he could tell it was the same woman that tried to interview him at the station.Hank walks back to take a shower as the knocking continues. Standing with a towel around him and the bottle of booze still in hand Hank makes a call on his phone.HANK YOUNGIs Mr. Buck there this is Hank Young I’m calling about the cabin for rent. No that’s fine mam just tell him I’ll be there by seven. Thank you mam.Hands full he carries his bags out to the black Impala and throws them into the trunk. From behind Hank a familiar voice is heard.JENNY PALKAMr. Young my name is Jenny Palka.HANK YOUNGI know who you are.Hank continues to throw luggage in the trunk of his car.JENNY PALKAAre you willing to give us a statement. Something that will clear your name. You can’t just run away from what you’ve done Mr. Young.HANK YOUNGI’m taking a vacation.Hank continues walkingJENNY PALKAHow about an apology to the mother. You owe her that much.Hank throws the luggage in the trunk and slams the top.HANK YOUNGNothing I say is going to change what is already done.Jenny tries once more to get Hanks attention as he slides into his car.JENNY PALKAYou can’t run from this.HANK YOUNGI’m not running. I’m going home.JENNY PALKAWhere is that.HANK YOUNGGun Barrel City.Hank drives off.INT. --HANK’S IMPALA-- DAYHank cranks the ignition as he rolls down the window then the car is put into drive and a happy sixties song on the radio is turned up.He looks at the whiskey bottle sitting in his passenger seat and takes another drag. The speedometer climbs as hank watches the Dallas city limits disappear in his rear view mirror.EXT. --BIG MIKE’S HOUSE-- MORNINGTopless strippers lay strung out beside equally cracked out and cranked up teenage stock car drivers. Cody is laying across Randy’s stomach.Big Mike is standing in front of a wall covered with deer heads. Mike’s eyes glare directly into the deer’s and he touches the top of it’s head. He then looks at the Sheriff.BIG MIKEDo you know why the fur on the top of his head is a different color?The same group of hill Billy men with Mohawks sit on a large leather couch behind Big Mike watching him rub the center of a buck’s head with his long pinky nail. Big Mike turns around facing the men with a sinister grin.BIG MIKEIt’s cause I blew his skull off from a hundred yards away.Big Mike then thumps the buck’s headBIG MIKEHe stood there for a minute like he heard the shot but, didn't feel it. Go to Banty’s and give E-roc his Wheelchair.Sheriff Griss walks out of Big Mike’s trophy roomINT. --HANK’S IMPALA-- NIGHTHank is driving through the parking lot of Lakewood apartments. There is graffiti on the walls and dogs in the distance barking. Every person Hank passes causes him to take a second look.Two men stand beside a car as on smashes the window. Hank shines his spotlight on what he believes is a car being broken into. Two men run from the light and Hank steps out to investigate.He slowly walks towards the car and unlatches the button that keeps his nine millimeter pistol from falling out of it’s holster. As he approaches the car it is evident that the window has been broken.Hank points his flashlight at the car and a woman screams from an apartment across the street. The scream echoes causing Hank to shake and slam on the brakes.A woman wearing a bra and red sweat pants runs up to the impala and begins to beat on the window.WOMAN IN DISTRESSHelp! I am being robbed! He has a gun! Please my son is still in the house!Hank rolls the window down still sitting in his car with his hand resting on his gun. He then puts his jacket around the frantic woman and sits her down in the back seat of his car.HANK YOUNGWait here. Which apartment is yours?WOMAN IN DISTRESSApartment 155. My baby’s in there!The woman puts her hands over her face and begins to sob. Hank takes off running. He can hear his heart beat faster as he approaches an apartment with the door wide open. The number beside the door reads 155.INT. -- APARTMENT 155 -- NIGHTHank has his gun drawn and takes two steps into the apartment scanning the living room. He then approaches the bedroom on the right. As he pushes the door open two shots ring out blasting a hole through the door by hank’s head nearly missing him.HANK YOUNGDallas Police put down your weapon.Hanks turns around and unloads a shot into the chest of a small boy. He then drops to the ground and grabs his side. Blood runs down his side and into his hand.He struggles to get up walks to the boy who is lying completely still on the floor with a small revolver by his side.Hank Holsters his weapon and picks the boy up. He walks outside and towards his car as the mother still in the backseat recognizes her child and screams.Hank puts the boy in the front seat turns on the emergency lights and begins to drive out of Lakewood apartment complex.INT. --HANK’S IMPALA-- DAYHank looks in the rearview mirror and is haunted by the apparition of a mother’s face.EXT. -- EAST TEXAS ROAD NEAR GUN BARREL CITY LIMITS -- DAYThe Dallas Skyline disappears behinds Hank as he heads down a two lane highway that divides a dense thicket of pine trees. On the side of that road is a sign that reads Gun Barrel, Texas.Under the town name is the population and the slogan “A Great Place to Live.” The slogan had a spray painted line through it with the words “A Long Painful Death” under that.HANK YOUNGThis place hasn't changed any.INT. -- GUN BARREL BARBER SHOP -- DAYAn young man sits in a barber chair looking at himself in the mirror with an intense glare as the barber snips off his pony tail then begins to shave Eroc’s head. Eroc sits in the chair watching his hair get buzzed off by the barber.EROCI want a Mohawk.The barber looks stunned.BARBERAre you sure that is what you want son.EROCYeah.The barber then dusts the back of his neck with baby powder and throws off the nylon cloak from around Eroc’s neck he spins him around and places a mirror in his hand.He holds the mirror up behind his head and nods. Eroc walks outside the barber shop and jumps into the passenger seat of a mud covered cadillac with dogs barking in the back.EROCI think it’s pretty short.Banty is in his late fifties with nearly no hair grins with a tooth pick in his teeth.BANY KINGLooks cool. It’s going to be good and hot this summer and that shag will slow you down.Banty rolls the window down and lights a square blowing smoke out the window then uses a hand accelerator to back out as Eroc feels the top of his head. Randy Spark passes by Eroc looking down at his hair cut from a jacked up truck.INT. -- RANDY’S TRUCK -- DAYRandy sticks his head out the window to take a closer look.RANDY SPARKWhat the fuck does that shit head have a Mohawk for. Over my dead body. That piece of shit.Randy speeds ahead racking off his pipes.INT. -- BANTY’S CADILLAC -- DAYBANTY KINGI’m going to drop you at the house. I got to go back to the shop and make sure that stock car is ready for races tonight. If I’m not back by nine take the truck to Thunder Mountain and I’ll meet there.Ext. -- Gun Barrel City Limits -- dayBanty heads down the country two lane highway listening to country music. A large truck pulls up beside him and Randy Spark pulls himself out of the window with a lit motov cocktail in his hand. He throws it on the hood of Banty’s car.The bright orange sun hangs high as a 1965 Cadillac on fire rolls down a hill with smoke coming from the engine and orange coals flying up from it’s undercarriage.INT. -- HANK’S IMPALA -- DAYThe car slams into a tree on the side of the road. Flames leak from under the hood as a black impala pulls up ten yards behind the caddy.Hank Young jumps out the impala door and begins to run towards the smoking vehicle wrapped around a tall oak.The tall skinny man, Hank Young, runs to the caddy and puts his boot through the driver side window releasing a cloud of smoke from inside the car.He then proceeds to unbuckle the driver and drag him from the car. The driver coughing now on the ground points back at the car.BANTY KINGMy dogs, my dogs are still in the car save my dogs.The good samaritan Hank Young could hear the dog’s crying from the back seat. Hank takes a deep breathe and runs back toward the car.Two dogs sit in the back seat with their leashes wrapped around the headrest of the passenger seat. Smoke has filled the car. Hank quickly unwraps the leashes and pulls the animals out. The dogs run up and lick Bany’s face.Hank can barely stand as he bends over gasping for air.BANY KINGMy Bible on the dash please don’t let it burn up.A perplexed look comes across Hank’s face and he runs back to the car but stops in front of it because the flames have crept up the caddy’s door.Hank grabs the door handle and burns his hand. Furious and intent on opening the door he then takes off his shirt and wraps it around his hand then uses it to use to open the caddy door.He reaches in grabs the bible then looks down at the floor board at shotgun. Banty barely opens his eyes and mouths the words “shotgun.”BANY KINGGet my gun. (cough)Hank takes a deep breath and ties the shirt in his hand around his face. He runs at the car and jumps through the flames and into the backseat.Three seconds pass and he leaps out of the caddy with a shotgun in his hands. Banty is not moving and the dogs begin to whimper and nudge his legs.Hank kneels down putting his ears by Banty’s lips. Hank then begins to perform CPR as a cop car pulls up in the distance with it’s lights flashing. The sheriff pulls up and casually walks out of his car with a blank stare.HANK YOUNGCall an ambulance.The officer continues to walk toward the body as he talks into the radio on his shoulder. The Sheriff stops in front of Hank and Banty and watches Hank performs CPR.SHERIFF GRISSHe’s just drunk.Hank shoots a cold stare at Sheriff Griss.HANK YOUNGListen I’m a cop. He’s not breathing. I don’t think he is drunk.SHERIFF GRISSI’m the law in these parts and this guy is the town drunk.Sheriff Griss takes off his aviators and wipes the sweat from his brow.SHERIFF GRISSThe ambulance is on it’s way.Why don’t you just leave him be. I’ll take it from here.One of the dogs begins to growl at the officer as Sheriff Griss hocks a loogie and spits it on the dog’s face.Hank picks up the shot gun and walks back to his car as the sheriff glares at the gun in his hand.He looks back at the road and turns the music up then glances at his newly acquired shotgun sitting in the passenger seat beside him. Hank heads down a red dirt road and over a cattle guard.EXT. -- BUCK FARM -- DAYA cloud of dust follows behind him as he approaches the Buck’s home. Mrs. Buck walks out the front door in a plaid dress pulling her hair back into a pony tail.MRS. BUCKDon’t worry about them dogs they won’t bite you.Hank hasn't glanced down to acknowledge the dogs he is still staring at Mrs. Buck.MRS. BUCKI was expecting you an hour ago.Hank looks at his watch.HANK YOUNGI’m sorry their was a wreck about five miles out of town.Mrs. Buck notices the shirt wrapped around Hanks hand.MRS. BUCKYour hand, are you hurt?HANK YOUNGNo mam it’s just a first degree burn.Holding Hanks hand in hers.MRS. BUCKOh my god we need to get some bandages on that.Mrs. Buck wipes the sweat off her brow and leads Hank into the front door.HANK YOUNGMam, it is really not bad. I don’t want to inconvenience you.MRS. BUCKNonsense. Mr. Buck is on the tractor he’ll be back in about an hour if you’d like to come sit down for a glass ice tea.HANK YOUNGThat sounds great.MRS. BUCKWell there is Mr. Buck right now.They both peer out a kitchen window.A tanned man with a hat on and his shirt off is riding a large tractor that is pulling a mower behind him. The mower wings lift up and expose two larger blades spinning underneath.INT. --BIG MIKE’S HOUSE-- SAME TIMEBig Mike’s fan above the living room floors spins rapidly as classical music plays in the background. He acts as if he was inspiring an orchestra to play.As Mike grabs the glass pipe and loads a bowl of meth then adds his signature touch. Big Mike grabs a small bottle dropper and drips a liquid on the crystals in his meth pipe.BIG MIKEYou have to try this baby girl.Big Mike puts the pipe in Cody’s mouth and lights it. she coughs after holding the drug in her. Big Mike rubs her back.BIG MIKEThat’s the good stuff right.Her pupils dilate.CODY BUCKOh! I like that flavor.BIG MIKEYeah, I know you do. It’s bubble gum.Cody has a ghostly ora about her. Her face is sunk in and she has all the signs of a drug abuser.BIG MIKEThunder Mountain is going to be loud tonight.EXT. --THE BUCK’S FARM-- SAME TIMEThe blades slow to a stop as Mr. Buck turns the tractor off and hops down from the driver seat. Mr. Buck approaches Hank Young covered in dirt grass and sweat. He extends his hand and shakes Hank’s.MR. BUCKWell do you miss the city yet?Hank grins and looks at the tractor then back at Mr. Buck.HANK YOUNGNot hardly.MR. BUCKWell, there’s a hole in that fence down across the pasture. If I don’t fix it now them cows are going to get into my neighbor’s property. You can wait here or you can come with.HANK YOUNGIf I can help I’d like to come with ya.Mr. Buck pulls out a pair of leather work gloves from his back pocket and hands them to Hank.MR. BUCKYou might be needing these. Keep your hands from bleeding.MRS. BUCKLet me get you men some water before you leave.Mrs. Buck heads back into the home.MR. BUCKAre you sure your gonna like living in that little ole cabin.HANK YOUNGJust to be able to go to bed and not hear sirens and car alarms on top of that the fresh country air I couldn't ask for anything better.Mr. Buck grins and takes a jug of water from Mrs. Buck.MR. BUCKWell it’s just a little walk down this hill. You don’t mind walking, do you Hank?HANK YOUNGI love to walk.Mr. Buck grabs a roll of barb wire from the tractor and the two walk down the hill together.The sun creeps down the sky and Hank is holding a strand of barb wire with a pair of wire cutters. Mr. Buck nails the wire in place.MR. BUCKYou ever been to a race track before.HANK YOUNGHorse track?Mr. Buck squints his eyes and shades his face with his hand.MR. BUCKStock Cars.Mr. Buck tightens the barb wire fence by twisting the wire. A loud engine roar echoes. Mr. Buck then looks at his watch.HANK YOUNGSounds like seven.Mr. Buck chuckles.HANK YOUNGWhat’s that.MR. BUCKMy brother is a race car driver. They go up to the track a couple hours early to take some practice laps.HANK YOUNGThat a fact. I didn't know the track was so close. So how’s your brother rank.MR. BUCKHe’s the best there. Undefeated for the past five years. He’s racing tonight.Mr. Buck lets out a grunt and twists the wire as tighter then takes off his hat and wipes the sweat from his head.MR. BUCKMud Rally is on Thunder Mountain it’s about a minute north on the highway. He’s racing tonight. You are welcome to come after you get settled in.HANK YOUNGYou mean the track is close to here.The engines continue to roar in the background as Mr. Buck Grabs the spool of barb wire and throws it in the back of his tractor.MR. BUCKHop on I’ll give you a ride back the cabin.As the tractor heads over the hill there are several dead cows scattered on the field.HANK YOUNGWhat the hell?MR. BUCKShit.Mr. Buck stops the tractor and the two men jump off and walk toward the first dead cow.HANK YOUNGWhat happened to them.MR. BUCKThat son of a bitch.HANK YOUNGWhat the hell?Hank leans down to look at the cow.HANK YOUNGYou see this hole. They were shot Looks like a hollow point wounds.MR. BUCKI never heard any gun shots.HANK YOUNGDo you know any one that would want your cows dead?Mr. Buck points with a stick at the cows neck and looks up to the sky. The blue sky is beginning to turn red from dirt. The roars from ethanol race cars echo through the woods.INT. -- HANK’S LOG CABIN -- TWILIGHTMr. Buck opens the door to a log cabin then walks in followed by Hank Young. The cabin looks a hundred years old and has two small rooms divided by a narrow dogtrot. He pulls a string hanging down from the ceiling causing a light bulb to illuminate the room.MR. BUCKThe top of this fire place is covered up so don’t go starting a fire or you’ll smoke the entire place up.Mr. Buck looks at Hank who is covered in sweat and they both grin at the thought.MR. BUCKI know it’s not what you are used to in Dallas but,Hank cuts him off midway through his sentence.HANK YOUNGIt’s perfect just what I’m looking for.MR. BUCKI reckon about a couple hundred a month. That sound about right?HANK YOUNGSounds good to me.Mr. Buck shakes Hanks hand.MR. BUCKI’ll be back in about an hour and a half to pick you up for the race track that is you still want to go?HANK YOUNGI’d like to.Mr. Buck walks out of the cabin leaving Hank alone in the old house for the first time.Hank lifts the window and sits down in a creaky rocking chair as he watches a pink sun completely sink beneath tall pines on the horizon.EXT. -- BANTY’S TRAILER HOUSE -- DAYEroc and Cody sit on the steps of a trailer house kissing each other vigorously. Eroc grabs Cody’s breast under her shirt.CODY BUCKLets go to your room.Eroc grabs her face and holds it with his hand.EROCI got a better idea. Lets go for a drive.Then Doors to Eroc’s truck slam shut. It is the same truck and Eroc revs the engine racking off it’s exhaust pipes. The truck goes off a dirt road and into a beaten path.It stops and Cody climbs on Eroc and begins to ride him as he puts the truck into four wheel drive heading up an incline.The sun has now set and the two lovers stand in the sun. Eroc places his hand on the door preventing her from getting in. A thunderous roar of engines burning ethanol echo in the distance.CODY BUCKI have to leave now. Good luck at you power lifting meet tomorrow. Bye.Cody turns to step in her car. Eroc grabs her by the wrist. Cody takes a bracelet off her wrist and places it on Eroc’s wrist as she kisses him.CODY BUCKYou better not take it off.EROCI won’t.CODY BUCKI love you.Eroc’s embraces Cody once more in his arms.EROCI love you too.Cody walks around the pit turning the heads of hillbillies as engines from Thunder Mountain roar in the background. She approaches Big Mikes window handing him a hand full of cash.The passenger door opens and she walks around the front of the car then slides in the seat closing the door.INT. -- BIG MIKE’S GOLD DELOREAN -- NIGHTScarlette sits stunned her face red in her hands as tears roll down her cheek.CODYYou made alot of money tonight daddy.BIG MIKEThat’s not even the half of it. I want to know what they are saying about this other source.CODYThere is some guy named chance. He’s supposed to have the purest but I tried it and it doesn't compare to the shit you cook.Randy Spark pulls her hair from the back seat.BIG MIKEI thought I could trust you.RANDY SPARKYou bitch you had to go and open your loud fucking mouth.CODYWhat are you talking about I didn't say anything.Cody is still holding her face looking at Big Mike as he continues to drive away from the track and stands.RANDY SPARKI guess you didn't know that some fucking cop from another city came poking his nose around Big Mike’s today. Sheriff Griss said your boyfriend was running his mouth about what goes on out at Mike’s.Big Mike just stares at Cody through the rear view mirror.BIG MIKEYou made me mad Cody but, I can forgive you I’m not an evil man. We are going back to my place tonight. You’ll have to leave Eroc at the races. I believe he is trying to get the both of us in too much trouble. I love you like a daughter Shelly and I’m just disappointed at how you have repaid me for my years of friendship.Big Mike’s gold delorean speeds down the red dirt road as he pulls out a long pipe and hands it to Scarlette.CODY BUCKI really think I want to stay at the races a little while longer.Big Mike slams on the brakes as shelly flies towards the front windshield. Her head puts a crack in the glass and a cut above her eye. Big Mike then takes out a personalized handkerchief from his pocket and hands it to her.BIG MIKEYou are using your head too much. Press harder to stop the bleeding.Big Mike pushes the handkerchief against Cody’s head. Randy picks the pipe up off the floor and hands it to her.RANDY SPARKJust hit this and shut up you will feel better.EXT. -- THUNDER MOUNTAIN PIT AREA -- NIGHTSeveral stock cars are lined up beside each other in the pit area with the hoods up and the engines running. Jeremy Buck a large gruff looking man walks down the line of cars inspecting each one until he reaches the race car of big Mike.JEREMY BUCKThat’s a damn fine ride. Shame it’s always last place. Found anyone to drive this thing for you yet?Big Mike grins then spits by Jeremy’s feet. Just then a young man around the age of 18 dressed in racing gear and holding a helmet walks up beside big Mike.JEREMY BUCKThe pit is for stock racing boy. The four wheeler track is on the other side of that hill there boy.RANDY SPARKHowdy Mr. Buck my name is Randy Spark.Jeremy Buck begins to laugh. Randy Sparks has no numbers on his race car; it simply says “YO.” He is almost the size of Big Mike and stands beside him with a retarded grin as Copenhagen and spit drips down his chin. He wears his hair in a Mohawk has earrings and incredibly crooked front teeth.JEREMY BUCKYou have got to be shitting me. You got a damn kid driving your car. Hell I always knew you were kind of stupid Mike seeing as how you were in prison for sixteen years but, this is just fucking ridiculous.Big Mike lifts a microphone to his neck to project the sounds coming from his voice box as Randy leans in to hear what is being said Jeremy laughs and zips up his jacket.RANDY SPARKBig Mike says you talk a big talk but, can you put your money were your mouth is?Big Mike laughs as Randy Sparks spits a long stream of tobacco across Jeremy’s boot. A serious look sweeps across Jeremy’s face.JEREMY BUCKTwenty five thousand.BIG MIKEBoy you ain’t got that much money in your piggy bank.JEREMY BUCKI bet I got the deed to my land. Which is worth as much.Randy looks at Big Mike and Big Mike nods at Randy. Randy then extends his hand in the direction of Jeremy Buck. Jeremy doesn't acknowledge the hand and walks away. Randy grins and looks up to big Mike.RANDY SPARKThat’s a bet.EXT. -- THUNDER MOUNTAIN STANDS -- NIGHTThe stock cars pull up beside each other red lining their engines as a man with a green flag holds it pointing directly up. Mr. Buck puts his hand on Hank’s shoulder and points down to the track.Mr. BUCKNumber one. That’s my brother Jeremy. The very first car in the next race.Codyy walks back up into the stands and sits beside Hank.HANK YOUNGYou already eat your cotton candy.Cody Just looks at Hank expressionless then back at the race track. The man holding the green flag suddenly drops it and the cars take off with a loud boom.Hank sits with Buck family in the stands surrounded by die hard dirt track hill billy dirt race fans.. Buck as Cody stands up.CODY BUCKI’m going to get some cotton candy. Do you want some Mr. Young.HANK YOUNGNo thanks Cody I’m fine.INT. -- BIG MIKE’S GOLD DELOREAN -- NIGHTRandy sparks sits in the passenger seat of Big Mike’s gold delorean which is nestled in the back corner in the parking lot of Thunder Mountain. Big Mike pulls out a crack pipe from under the seat and begins to load the bowl with ice.He then takes an eye dropper and puts a drop on the ice then turns and looks at Randy.BIG MIKEYou like cotton candy?Mike puts the lighter flame to the bowl of ice and bubbles the crystal meth smoke through the water down a glass stem and into his lungs. He blows the smoke out and passes the pipe to Randy.BIG MIKEGet right before the race boy.Randy takes the pipe from Big Mike at the same time there is a knock on Big Mike’s window. Randy puts the pipe in the glove box as the delorean door opens.Standing beside the door is Cody smiling at Randy who pulls the door shut after she crawls into the back seat. Randy then takes the pipe out and begins to smoke it. He then passes it back to Cody who takes a massive hit.CODY BUCKUm. Cotton Candy. Sounds sweet.Big Mike places the microphone to his throat and looks at Randy.BIG MIKESweeter than sugar. Get the car ready I’ll take Cody back to the stands.Randy gets out of the gold delorean and Cody crawls to the front seat.BIG MIKEI trust you a lot baby girl. I know you would never tell your parents about what we do.CODY BUCKThat would be bad for both of us.BIG MIKEYour Uncle bet against Randy tonight.Randy and Big Mike laugh together.Big MikeI don’t want to tell how much but, I believe that your father is not going to like me much after tonight. Promise to keep our secret.Cody looks up at Big Mike with dilated pupils.BIG MIKEYou getting happy baby. I know you like that. Just remember this is our secret. Don’t go telling the wrong people.The door to Big Mike’s gold delorean opens beside the pit area’s concession stand.BIG MIKENow go on.Cody walks in a daze as she flirts with the stock car drivers standing around an open hood.RANDY SPARKI think she likes you Mike.BIG MIKEShe knows who her daddy is. She loves the glass dick.EXT. --THUNDER MOUNTAIN PIT AREA-- NIGHTJeremy Buck sits beside his car with his head hung. Big Mike’s gold delorean pulls up in front of him. The door’s dark tinted window rolls down and Big Mike glares at Jeremy who sits on the ground beside his car.BIG MIKEI reckon you ain’t got my money. Your land belongs to me now. I’ll start construction tomorrow.Jeremy looks up at Big Mike as he drives off then puts his head down in despair.INT. -- BIG MIKE’S GOLD DELOREAN -- NIGHTBIG MIKEI’m going to claim that property tonight.Big Mike turns to Randy who is riding with him.BIG MIKEYour are going to help me.The delorean speeds away from Thunder Mountian with a cloud of red dirt behind it.EXT. -- BUCK FARM -- NIGHTBig Mikes Gold Delorean Pulls up to the Buck farm and puases at the cattle guard then speeds on into the farm. Randy Spark leans out the window and begins to throw Molotov cocktails.After the pasture has engulfed itself in flames Hanks opens the cabin door and looks out on an ocean of fire aproaching his door steps.EXT. --LOG CABIN-- DAYBREAKA fire truck is spraying water on the last bit of flame still lit. The land surrounding Hanks cabin is completely black.Hank is working under the hood of the convertible he quickly pulls his hand away after burning it on the engine. Looking at the burn closely Hank holds up his other hand as if comparing the two.He notices that they both are shaking pretty badly so he drops his wrench and puts his oil covered hands against his forehead.CODY BUCKWhy don’t you try using a rag.Cody hands him a rag then sits down beside him.CODY BUCKYou can use my shirt.She starts to unbutton her shirt.HANK YOUNGThat won’t be necessary.Hank pulls his shirt from his back pocket and wipes the oil from his head.HANK YOUNGIsn't it a school day?A scowl comes across Cody’s face.CODY BUCKMaybe I just want to play hooky.Hank turns around and walks into the cabin and closes the door behind him. He stands in front of himself in the bathroom mirror and splashes water on his face.INT. --HANK’S LOG CABIN-- MORNINGHank stares at himself in the bathroom mirror after washing his face.HANK YOUNGThis ain’t right. You just need to go back out there and tell her that it ain’t going to happen. She’s too young and you... you can’t be in this kind of position. She’s not a lady she’s just a baby. You are a cop you know its considered rape.Hank rubs his face and glares at his reflection.HANK YOUNGI’m not a cop anymore.Hank opens the bathroom door heads towards the front door and looks out the window as the door to Mike’s gold delorean opens and Cody steps inside. The car then speeds down the dirt road leaving a cloud of dust behind it.Hank steps back outside and watches the car head into the distance then turns around to see Mr. Buck in his truck head down the hill and in his direction. Two black labs run up to Hank and begin licking his hands as Mr. Buck steps out of the truck.MR. BUCKGot any fix a flat?Hank grabs a can of fix a flat out of the trunk.HANK YOUNGYour daughter was just down here. I figured she needed a ride to school but that other fellow came and picked her up.Mr. Buck begins to inflate the back tire.MR. BUCKMust have been her boyfriend. That’s been her ride to school for the past six months on account of my wife having to be at work so early. She says it embarrassing to get dropped off in this piece of shit.Mr. Buck laughsMR. BUCKRandy’s one of them guys that everyone in the town knows but, not really. Hell, his last birthday party was one of the biggest pasture parties this town has seen.He kicks the tire as it starts to inflate.MR. BUCKThere was a fireworks display at the lake and everyone from the sheriff to the preacher was there. Cody seems to think he’s wonderful and I never heard anything but good about him.Mr. Buck tosses the melted tire in the back of his truck then folds his arms across the truck.MR. BUCKI reckon your enjoying your retirement. Breathing in this good clean air got you relaxed yet?Hank looks at his hand and it is shaking. He makes it into a fist and closes his eyes tightly trying to focus on something other than the twitch in his hand then looks back at the engine he was working on.HANK YOUNGI believe I’m getting there.The fire truck pulls up beside the cabin and a firefighter jumps down.FIRE FIGHTERWe found this in the field.He hold up a broken chard bottle.FIRE FIGHTERThe fire was set intentionally. Do you know any one that would want to burn your land?MR. BUCKNot off the top of my head no.The fire fighter looks out on the field.FIRE FIGHTERWell this fire is contained. YOu might want to think about any one you might have pissed on. Next time these bottles might be by your home.The fire man gets back on the truck and the two watch it drive away and another car comes barreling up the dirt road and slides to a stop beside Hank and Mr. Buck.The door is flung open and Jeremy Buck steps out with a face covered in blood then stumbles and falls to the ground as he steps out of the car.Mr. Buck and Hank run to his side and both men take one shoulder and carry him inside the cabin.INT. --HANK’S LOG CABIN-- DAYHank grabs a package of frozen peas and hands it to Mr. Buck as he helps his brother, Jeremy, onto his couch.MR. BUCKNow are you going to tell me what this is all about.Jeremy looks at Hank then his brother.JEREMY BUCKI lost it.MR. BUCKWhat are you talking about?JEREMY BUCKI bet the deed to the land on last nights race.Mr. Buck slaps his brother in the face with the frozen peas and an ugly scowl takes over Mr. Buck’s face.MR. BUCKWho’d you lose it to.JEREMY BUCKBig Mike.Mr. Buck walks into the Hank’s Bath room and smashes his fist into the mirror. Hank looks at Jeremy then Mr. Buck’s bleeding fist.HANK YOUNGI’m sure Big Mike will be gracious enough to let you win it back.Jeremy and his brother look at each other and then down at the same time.MR. BUCKMike is Cody’s biological father. He’s got a cult of these fucked up kids with Mohawks doing whatever he says. The bastard has been trying to take over my life since he got out of prison.HANK YOUNGNow just calm down here. This Big Mike guy doesn't know but, I’m a fucking cop. So nobody is going to come kick us off this land.Sirens go off outside the cabin as Mr. Buck and Hank run to the window. A sheriff steps out of the car and up the brick walkway to the cabin. Big Mike steps out of the passenger seat and closes the door as Hank follows Mr. Buck out the cabin.SHERIFF GRISSI understand your brother and Mike here had a bet. Now he is here to collect.HANK YOUNGNow Sheriff Griss is it?SHERIFF GRISSShut the fuck up boy.BIG MIKEI don’t want the money Jeremy. I just want the land. I got big plans for this place and I can’t have you backing out. That’s why I have your daughter Scarlette.Hank steps up and stands beside Mr. Buck and points at Sheriff Griss.HANK YOUNGThis has gone too far. You are a cop what the hell are mixed in this bull shit for. If anything this should go to court.BIG MIKEThis is not your business so, shut up and get out. You hear me.Hank steps into Big Mike’s faceHANK YOUNGI don’t think I heard you to well let me see if this works.Hank grabs the voice box wrapped around Big Mike’s neck and throws it to the ground then steps on it.HANK YOUNGNope. Guess not.The sheriff steps behind Hank and pistol whips him knocking unconscious.MR. BUCKHey! You are on my land you see this red dirt under your feet? My family has been working this soil for seven generations. Put that pistol up.The Sheriff pushes the pistol’s barrel closer to Hank’s head and cocks back the trigger. The Log cabin door slams shut. Jeremy Buck stands outside the cabin door with a shutgun in his hand.JEREMY BUCKYour going to fucking die with him.MR. BUCKYou don’t need to do any killing. You can have my land.Mr. Buck walks to his truck.MR. BUCKI’ll get the deed out of my glove box.The sheriff then shoots Jeremy Buck between the eyes. After Jeremy hits the floor Mr. Buck is shot three times in the chest.Hank crawls in dirt beside the crushed voice box as Big Mike approaches him. Big Mike the rises his leg and stomps on the back of Hanks head sending him face first into the ground.SHERIFF GRISSI’ve looked into the guy.Mike kicks Hank’s unconscious body facing up.SHERIFF GRISSThis city slicker here is an x cop from New York. He got kicked off the force after killing some little kid. Fucker is in hiding from the world.Big Mike bends down and picks up his broken voice box. He then holds a dangling piece against his neck and pops then trunk open.BIG MIKELet’s keep it that way.The Sheriff and Big Mike pick Hanks body up and place it into the Trunk of the cop car. The men then threw the other two dead bodies in on top of Hank.SHERIFF GRISSMrs. Clause should be arriving home at six.BIG MIKEI’ll wait for her.A car pulls up to the sheriff who is standing in the middle of the road. Mrs. Buck gets out and begins to break down and as she cries she throws herself in the arms of Sheriff Griss.MRS. BUCKMy daughter were is my daughter.SHERIFF GRISSI’m sorry mam she dead.MRS. BUCKNo! It’s not true you are lying.SHERIFF GRISSYou are right mam. I am telling the truth now. You are going to die.Big Mike walks out of the log cabin.SHERIFF GRISSNot until we have our fun.Mrs. Buck screams and tries to escape from the sheriff’s grasp.INT. --BANTY’S TRAILER HOME-- DAYEroc sits beside of an apparition of Banty. Eroc is grasping his head in his hands. Eroc has a blank stare then his face turns vengeful.EROCScarlette said the police cleaned up the mess before she got home to see it. One night a couple of days after she was looking through the cabin she found a shotgun under the mattress were Hank was sleeping. It was banty’s. To tell you the truth that gun was just pretty and I missed it.Eroc sits in a chair with the gun in his hand giving off a blank stare.EROCIt reminded me of a better time. A happy hunting ground were people follows courage and integrity not some crystal.INT. --BIG MIKE’S BASEMENT-- DAY (SIX MONTHS LATER)It is dark until a light hanging from the ceiling is turned on. Under the light stands Big Mike hold the leash of a large dog. Hank hides his bearded face from the light.EXT. --EROC’S FRONT YARD-- TWILIGHTEroc walks to the shed beside his house and locates a hack saw. He sits outside the shed sawing the stock of a shot gun off leaving just a handle. The sun falls as the stars begin to poke out of the sky.EXT. --BIG MIKE’S HOUSE DIRECTLY ABOVE THE BASEMENT-- NIGHTA large fire is lit as people stand around it drinking beers. In a truck twenty feet from the fire sits Randy Sparks in the driver seat and beside him Cody smoking a cigarette.INT. -- RANDY’S TRUCK -- NIGHTRANDY SPARKListen, until you get that through your head. You are a drug dealer. You help push weight.CODY BUCKI get judged ok. Most of these people around here don’t even smoke weed. I have to be so down about this shit.RANDY SPARKWell, we ain't talking about that shit I want to know what he’s selling. Is it better than my shit?Cody takes a drag and flicks the rest out the window.CODY BUCKEveryone at Thunder mountain is getting it from him now. I tried it and the shit is pure.RANDY SPARKWe ain’t talking about that. I want to know who this guy is so we can get him on our side or the fuck out of town. Right now it’s a no when situation and I know your mom needs the money after what that bastard did to your family. If you don’t take care of your mom who will. Bring this guy to me I want to meet him. Big Mike wants to meet him. You know how much he’s done for you after your dad and uncle were killed. Hell, Big Mike put a fifty grand price on Hank Young’s head dead or Alive.Cody’s phone lights up and she looks at it then puts it in her purse.RANDY SPARKWho the fuck was that.CODY BUCKNobody.Randy punches his truck radio.RANDY SPARKWho was it.CODY BUCKIt’s Eroc.INT. -EROC’S FRONT YARD-- TWILIGHTEroc sits by himself and watches the sun set. Banty gently opens the door and rolls out on to the porch.BANTY KINGWhat is wrong boy. How are you feeling.Eroc looks down at his cast.EROCHave you ever loved a woman so bad that it made you sick in your stomach?Banty moves closer to Eroc.EROCI feel like a fucking freak in this cast. It’s no wonder Cody doesn't want to see me.BANTY KINGEasy now son. You need that cast to heal right.EROCI don’t know if I should just give up or keep trying.BANTY KINGIf there is thing I know about women it is that they are capable of being an angle or a devil you just have to decide which one yours is.EXT. -- THUNDER MOUNTAIN -- NIGHTThe cars continue to race around the mud track as Eroc begins to look around the stands. He then stands up and walks out of the stands and toward the pit area. Eroc notices a gold delorean and jumps into his truck and follows it out leaving the race tracks.Eroc Pulls up to Big Mike’s in his pick-up truck. The truck pulls up on Big Mike’s lawn and Eroc pipes racking off the pipes. Every one by the fire drinking beer stop and watch Eroc walk out.EROCWhere’s Cody?A man with a cammo zip up walks infront of Eroc as he opens the front door.MAN WEARING CAMMOBig Mike is going to kick your ass for parking in his lawn.EROCFuck off!Eroc shoves the man into the wall. Randy and Codyy Are in the living room. Randy is standing behind Cody grabbing her ass. Eroc takes a deep breathe. Randy turns and looks at Eroc there eyes meet and Shelly becomes silent.RANDY SPARKHey welcome to the party Eroc your just in time to smokes. Oh Cody here has already hit the pipe twice tonight. Ain’t that right.Cody walks to Eroc and he looks into her eyes.EROCYour coming with me.Eroc picks Cody Buck up and throws her over his shoulders.INT. --EROC’S TRUCK-- NIGHTThe speedometer reads 90 and Eroc flies down the country back roads.EROCI don’t like it when you hang out with those drug dealers. Have you looked at yourself in the mirror recently. You look like a ghost.Cody stares out the passenger side windowCODY BUCKDon’t talk about me and my friends that way. Besides I’m getting to know my real dad. He’s a really nice man. He’s a good guy. When that sick bastard killed my Dad and uncle Big Mike was there helping my mother and I.EROCHe also built a race track in you back yard. Listen Scarlette I don’t want to fight with you. Banty told me it wasn't Hank that killed your dad. He said it was Big Mike.CODYHe is lying. Big Mike loves me.EROCYou don’t even know him besides he was at your gate and saw the whole thing. The Sheriff was there too. So was Randy.CODYI don’t believe you.Eroc slams on the brakes as Cody jumps out of the car and slams the truck door. Eroc roll the window down and leans out of it as he is reversing.EROCI’ ll call you tomorrow after the meet.She continues walking away. Eroc then rolls his window up but continues looking at Cody before she walks into her house. Her parents immediately embrace her and Eroc drives off.INT. --BIG MIKE’S BASEMENT-- MORNINGA roach runs across the floor. Hank swipes it up off the ground and eats it. The door then opens and Big Mike and Sheriff Griss stand in the doorway. The Sheriff turns on a lantern as Big Mike closes the door behind them.The Sheriff walks up to Hank and kicks him in the face then grabs his cuffed hand and hooks them to a chain hoisting Hank up by his arms. Big mike sits at a small table in front of Hank and unfolds a collection of knifes beside the lantern.BIG MIKEYou are probably asking yourself why am I still alive. I guess I wanted you to be dreaming of when you was a kid running up down the creek playing with your brother. See I know you just went undercover. You didn't shoot no boy. You came back to Gunbarrel to get me. See I got knots at the top of the rope.Blood runs down Hanks face as he lifts his head to look Big Mike in the eyes.BIG MIKEThere is one reason and one only. It is cause I want to see you suffer. You feel me.Hank spits the chewed up roach in Big Mike’s face.BIG MIKEThat’s alright boy. Just think about how you ain’t gettin no proper burial. I’m going to put your head in a big glass jar and turn your body into chili. I’ll serve you up this Friday at the concession stand. Hell I’ll give the chili away but not the recipe.Big Mike grabs a knife and walks towards Hank. He then runs the blade down the center of Hanks face. Hank screams as the Sheriff cuts his nose off.BIG MIKEI’ll let you smell your own blood for a little bit while you think about dying.EXT. --BIG MIKE’S HOUSE-- NIGHTBig Mike’s doorbell rings continually as Eroc knocks on the door the same time. Randy opens the door and stands in front of Eroc.EROCHave you seen Cody?RANDY SPARKShe doesn't want to talk to you.EROCListen you son of a bitch. If she gets hurt in any way I’m going to blow that strip of hair right off your head.Randy Sparks laughs.RANDY SPARKI’ll let her know you said that.Randy slams the door in Eroc’s face.INT. --EROC’S TRAILER HOME-- DAYBREAKThe phone rings and Eroc jumps out of bed and goes to the kitchen and answers it.EROCHelloSHERIFF GRISSYes, Eroc this is the Sheriff we are going to need you to go down to the police station and answer some questions.EROCWhat’s this about?SHERIFF GRISS (V.O.)People said they witnessed you with Shelly Buck at the race track last night. Well her body was dumped off at the hospital early this morning. She died of a drug overdose and we are going to have to get you to come in and answers some questions about last night.Eroc drops the phone and walks outside carrying the shotgun that was under his bed. He walks out into the shed and grabs the hack saw on the shelf. Eroc then begins to saw the upper body cast freeing his right arm from the large cast.INT. -- BIG MIKE’S HOUSE -- NIGHTOnce the body cast has been sawed off He then begins to saw at the butt of the gun. Sweat drips off his face turns to a disgusted look after seeing his skin green and peeling. As he feverishly finishes dust and gravel fly as his truck speeds off down the road.INT. --BIG MIKE’S BASEMENT-- MORNINGSheriff Griss and Big Mike stand over Hank’s beaten and food deprived body deprived body. A blanket full of chef knives sit on a table under the light in the center of the dungeon like basement.BIG MIKEAll the torture has made me sleepy. I’m tired of keeping your sorry ass alive. We are going to kill you tomorrow. I’m going to cut your heart out with one these knives.Sheriff Griss is laughing and is joined in laughter by Big Mike until Big Mike begins to cough and choke while lashing Hank’s face.The two leave the room and Hank looks up at his hands cuffed and chained above his head. He then looks at the table were Big Mike and Sheriff griss left the knives covered in his blood.Hank then lifts his body off the ground with the remain strength left in his body. His mouth reaches his thumb. His lips then peel back as he takes his thumb off with one bite.His right arm is then freed from the chain and strenuously reaching for the table of knives directly in front of him. An explosion shakes the light in the middle of the room and sprinkles dirt on Hanks shoulder. Using all his strength as well as a bloody right hand Hank Pulls himself to eye level with his left thumb.INT-- BIG MIKES HOUSE -- NIGHTBig Mike leans down and softly kisses Shelly on the lips. He then grabs her hair and pulls her head back as she squints her face in pain. Sheriff Griss looks at Big Mike and laughs. Scarlette’s wrists are bleeding from the handcuffs. She begins to cry.BIG MIKEOh don’t do that. Here smoke this bitch.Big Mike shoves a glass pipe in her mouth and lights a bowl of pure meth or, as Big Mike has been pushing Mike’s Dugs. Randy Sparks walks into the room and lights the lighter in his hand.RANDY SPARKSomebody doing some the pipe smoking in here?Big Mike grabs Cody and pulls her down by his legs and grins.RANDY SPARKShe likes to smoke and she’s a Christian.Randy’s face lights up his eyes still dilated from the race. He walks in and grabs cody’s ass.Randy rips the duck tape off of her mouth.CODY BUCKWhen Eroc gets here he’s going to fucking kill you!RANDY SPARKI bet you don’t know,Randy grabs cody’s face as she screamsRANDY SPARKI really don’t care.EXT. -BANTY’S FRONT PORCH-- DAYEroc Looks at a Picture of Banty and him holding a Buck. The sky begins to turn black as lightning cracks in the distance a strong wind blows across Eroc’s face.He reaches for a saw by his knee and begins to saw off his upper body cast. He then takes the saw to the shotgun and saws off the gun barrel then the stock the sun the rises over the porch and reflects off the wheel chair that Sheriff Griss brought E-roc after telling him Banty died in a car wreck.EXT. --BIG MIKE’S PROPERTY-- MORNINGA small log cabin sits on the top of a hill surrounded by pine trees. Fifty yards down the hill is a trailer house connected to the cabin by a red dirt road. Inside the cabin Big Mike sits in a rocking chair watching the Price is Right.BIG MIKEFour four hundred.Scarlette is on a leash sitting beside Big Mike. She is ghostly thin and incoherent of what is going on around her.SHERIFF GRISSThis bitch is fucking stupid. Two dollars for marsh mellows. Dumb bitch.The town sheriff is catching shut eye in a vibrating Lazy Boy beside Big Mike. The sound of a dog barking outside catches the attention of Big Mike.Big Mike ceases his rocking as a truck outside skids to a halt leaving a cloud of dirt behind it. A dog barks violently outside. The sheriff raises brim of his hat. Big Mike speaks through a voice amplifier wrapped against his neck.BIG MIKESheriff, why don’t you peel your fat sweaty ass off that rocking chair and see what the hell that dog is barking at.The cabin Big Mike is in sits on top of a hill overlooking a red dirt road and a trailer house. Twenty feet from the trailer house is a red truck connected to it by a line of fire creeping up the grass. An explosion consumes the trailer and rocks the cabin.The cabin curtains are drawn back as the reflection of a large fire sits on the window Big Mike is staring out of. Eroc is standing beside his red truck with a sawed off automatic 12 gauge shotgun as he mouths the words “fuck you” to Big Mike. The curtain falls back as Eroc walks up the hill toward the house.EROCCome get yours.Sheriff Griss a fat older man with a long grey ponytail steps outside the front door with a revolver drawn. Sheriff Griss points his revolver straight a buck shot shreds through him leaving a hole in the glass front door. Big Mike runs out from around the house in a white bathrobe firing two nine millimeters.BIG MIKEDie son of a bitch!Eroc catches one in the leg then rolls back behind his truck as bullets rip into the truck’s doors and through the top of a large tire Eroc is hiding behind. Eroc sits holding his leg. Behind his large mud covered truck holding a shotgun as the bullet wound in his right thigh squirts blood.BIG MIKEIt’s too late now boy. I killed your daddy and I killed your bitch. It’s alright daddy got his before I burned her with the trash.Eroc peaks his heads around the truck and watches Big Mike’s elbow poke around a tall thick pine tree.EROCYou are lying. She is your daughter.Eroc lays out on his back and unloads three buckshot at the pine blowing bark off the tree and half of Mike’s elbow from his left arm. Big Mike drops one of the guns and dangle uncontrollably. Smoke swirls out of the shotgun’s barrel as the light gleams off it’s polished stainless steel.BIG MIKEWell her mom was a whor so Scarlette was just an accident.EROCWhere is Cody?The smoke moves slower as time is slowed down. Big Mike Sits behind the tall Pine staring at his Left arm as it dangles from the tendon. Big Mike takes off the white belt holding his robe together and ties it around his left arm.BIG MIKEI Already sold her to a man from Thailand. He Fucks little girls and kills them. They call him the Widow maker. Money can buy anything including your whore Scarlette. He gets them high on heroin then beats them to death. That is were she is.Big Mike then takes the nine millimeter that was being held in his left hand and unloads an entire clip in the direction of Eroc’s truck. When the gun clicks Big Mikes takes the second nine millimeter off the ground and looks Hank directly in the eyes.HANK YOUNGGo to hell!Hank throws a chef knife directly between the eyes of Big Mike. Big Mike falls to the ground and Hank Young watches Eroc emerge from Behind the truck with a sawed off 12 gauge shotgun in his hand.A hawk flies over head and lets out a call.The two exchange eye contact. Eroc shoots Hank in the face with a buckshot taking off his chin and severing his jaw with one single blast. He continues heading up a path in the direction toward Big Mike’s house. A shot is fired from inside the house as Eroc approaches the door.At the top of Big Mike’s long staircase is Cody with a small revolver in her hand.CODYNo.She runs down to sit beside Eroc who is bleeding out.CODYDon’t die.EROCWhy did you?Eroc falls to the cold marble floor holding his hand over the left side of his chest. Blood runs through hi fingers.He props his head back against the wall and closes his eyes. The cabin sits in the middle of the woods silent and covered with dead bodies and bullet holes.Hank walks up to the door bleeding profusely.HANK YOUNGWhere is the phone.Cody points the gun at Hank then slowly lowers it. She is in total disarray.CODYIn the kitchen.Randy opens the door and Cody aims her gun at his head then screams.HANK YOUNGShoot him!Eroc grabs her ankle.EROCShoot.Randy looks at Eroc and he grins.RANDY SPARKHe baby put the gun down.Randy walks towards Cody and Eroc raises his gun. The trigger clicks Eroc is out of amunition. Randy grabs the gun from Scarlette and steps on Eroc’s chest.RANDY SPARKThe end.Hank Just stares at Randy who takes Cody by the leash and aims the gun at Hank.Eroc lifts the sawed off shotgun still in his hand and shoots Randy under his chin blowing the top of his head clean off. Eroc’s eye’s close as Randy drops like a fly.Down the hill from the cabin the trailer were Big Mike cooked his meth is burning sending black smoke high into the air until it begins to dissipate.EXT. -- MIKE’S TRAILER HOUSE -- DAYJenny Palka is standing in front of the graphic crime scene and places a microphone under her mouth.CAMERA MANOK we are on in five four three two..JENNY PALKAHell every one I am standing beside a hero today. He is a Dallas Police officer and his name is Hank Young. Hank can you tell us what exactly happened here.Hanks face is disfigured and scared. He just stares blankly at the camera reliving the horrific events of being tortured in his head.THE ENDposted by velvetj
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Is that a Pimple?
Jul 17, 2008
pimpleI've had what you would call normal pimples andthen I have had super pimples. I have'nt had one ofthese super pimples in five year but, I'm stillin fear of the super pimples return. He hauntsmy dreams with his taunting festering face. Believewhen I tell you I have lost jobs friendships and evenbeen disowned by my family because of this pimple.See this is'nt the type of pimple that comes right outand lets you know it's a pimple. No. This pimple liesto you and hides as it grows in strength until it wants totake over your face. I've told people it was everything froma spider bit to a gunshot wound. People would ask why is your face bleeding?Oh, I got stabbed. There is no amount of makeupor concealer you can put on it. Just bandage it up and tell peopleyou had plastic surgery. It's way better than telling someone it's apimplePosted by velvetjac at
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Crank Dat Fly ass Dance Moves vol. 4
Jul 17, 2008
Many people have hated on my freestyle dancing. example:velvetjac-u wish you had a badass trailer and that i was gay so you could touch my hot ass see it you know u want to touch but, no touch just look.KingCreechIII-you look like a homo dancin in your tiny ass trailorI ultimately would like to remix this video some way but, have been too busy to fool with it. So if any one would like to have a go at remixing this go for it. I leave it as an open challenge.
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For TEN years I was kept in a compound basement
Jul 4, 2008
Here is the story. Vick and I were friends since elementary school. We didn't really talk much in high school. We just kind of managed to look the other way.Basically one day I saw him whip a dog on it's ball sack. When I confronted him about it he acted like Everything was cool and even offered to buy me drinks at a local bar. That night I decided to take Vick up on his offer and have a couple of drinks. Little did I know Vick slipped something in my drink. For ten years he held me captiveIn his compound basementuntil ................fox searchlightfound me.

This is a response to the chris crocker leave Britney alone video.
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G.I. Joe PSA (Don't Look Him In The Eyes)
Jul 3, 2008
This coach is trippin man i..... dont know bout u but i personally don't get down by gettin orphan head
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G. I. Joe PSA get in the fridge
Jul 3, 2008
In the middle of the park there is a fridge containing Billy and his friends.
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KRISS KROSS (where are they now?)
Jul 3, 2008
Kriss Kross is now in a band called trytone. They still suck
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How to be a Gangsta Vol. 1 (EARLY VERSION)
Jul 3, 2008
This is about making money and spending it. If you don't spend it as fast if not faster than you make it you are not Raw! Being Raw is the only way to be! Being Raw is Gangsta!! Duh?
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Hard Asses
Jul 3, 2008
For 6 hours we held our breath and waited.......Coming soon to a theater near you! Two students skilled in the art of HARDASS declare revenge on the people who murdered their Sensai.
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pOETRY FROM VELVETJ
Jul 2, 2008
poems and suchaLLOW ME TO INTODUCE MEgLASS GIANTIf we went out and u broke up with memE FILL UhADRTIMESIS THIS THE WAY TO GET NOTICEDtHE oRANGE fuHH INCASE OF A PANIC ATTACJKK;'tO sYLVIAMELTED SANDtOOTH--BRUSHaSSOCIATED WID DEATHmY MOUNTAINhAY FEVERyOUNG oNESsOLIS pLANUMTHE TELEVISION IS A CONFUSED OLD MANORANGE __A SUNRISE WITH HER--yo CAN START STONING ME NOW iM DONE!Allow me to introduce me------I see u, u handsome steedYou courageous knight ready toGive your life to protect aYoung Princess from grisszzzzly green dragonsI see u, u dangerous specimen of beauty you perfect mixOf danger and sex appealAble and willing to lie down your lifeFor integrity, beauty and nobilityTailored for and cloacked in godlinessA rose, a rose floating in timeWith diamond dew drops and sapphire stems(tear drop)With no thornsAlways on time like a pillowThrown before your head hits the bedAt least that is what the ladies have saidLadies… Not a lady let me get diz shit straightI am tizalkun aboutxz multible ladiesI look manly in a burberry scarfAnd drop dead gorgeous in my Armani coatWell known and known well by anyone thatWell knows meI’m sorryWhat was your name?I remember DiabloFace like fresh snowValentine day chocolate one the wayMy heart never so thin so shavedSprend out your road ill paveGLASS GIANTSA worker bee sat encapsulatedtowering from somea glass fortressHe is pushing over time to buy more timeto spend more timeAnother bee sits in an adjacent fortressequally as encapsulatedKnowing nothing of each otherother thanThey are separated by a frozen pondThe pond is a reflected midnight icethat the Twowould stare upon a many nightEyes were glued to a flickering screenBright digits black and green lead toThe yearning of cigarette butts and coffee ringszzLead to a confusion that would open hellFor the angle ringAn alarm went off the choice was madeTo rush this way to safetyNow for the first time eyes matched over aMMMMMOOOOAAAATTTTTTHow funny how an alarm brought us so close!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-------------------------------IF we went out and u broke up with me------------------Chicago, Illinois: I don’t know how long it has been or if I even remember how you say you\r knameCorrectly. Oh, I just want to know what to do with my life. I wish I could say I am standing in the windowOf a high rise on the front of this post card. Perched safetly above the rest of the world.I would probally fall out. I’d die after bouncing twice I’d fall like a bird that never learned how to fly.Denver COLORADO: It’s me again I am sorry if these cards are starting to bother you. You can find me some where in DENVER BURIED 6FT. UNDER LOOSE NEWSPAPER. Part of an ice cycle has now broken off and plunged into my eyes. A televangelist said let today matter. The matter of the fact is today blends with yesterday. Sleeep is a ritual feeeeeeling of security.Destin Florida: Yesterday I witnessed a little boy building sand castles. He spent hours shaping grains of sand only to have it swept away when the tide came in. This is the last post card I am going to send you.If it is really over than it is over. No fucking postcard is going to make a difference.----------------------------------------Can I get a picture---------------------------------------------------------------------------ME a still with youMe, a still with you to rememberAn explosion of light contains theByproduct of a black and white contrastYour face caught between two wrinkles in timeOne emulsed in magnesium and the other wellIt adheres to the left side of my chestGo ahead me a still with you on the wall were we hangAnd never fall-------------------------------------------------------hardtimes----------------------------------------------------The front of an 85 ford is molded to a white oakIt is a broad based oak that hangs over heavy scented pinesThe smell of death is strong enough to smother the pine fresh air.It is whit wood painted by black oil.Reflected by sparkling glass the soul creeps out and was never there._________________---------------------________that’s how it goes DIIIIIAAAABLLLOOOOOO----------------------------------------¬______I made a deal with a young faun today.Spit in my palm and griped soft hands this way.With a perfect sway s he’d sayTake the RCAPlug it in now just adjust this way.Just a bit there its velvetjSitting on a hot black road smoldering in 10 ft. flamesWhat about the People that didn’t know that nameThen they don’t know the only one I sang.My heart is just your second nameI focused hard and a light came.------------------------------------TTTTHHHHEEEE Orange FFFFFFFFFFFFFF________________________________The slick silver snake slid through a tight dark tunnelThe twisted metal ached and squealed.I felt the inertia push and pull me like an invisible wave.Screams and laughs laced underThe piercing echo of a child screaming for it’s motherVoices in cheer and in anguishEach convey a mental state to the other passengers.Coats brushing against against each other indicate a sense ofHustle and bustle between the mechanical shutting of doors.The heavy scent of perfume and bleach slid its way up my nose.A smell that struck me as civilized and insaneLike a beach blanket covered in snow.A bright green gum slapped the roof of my mouthAs my tongue milked it’s green apple flavorWith the slide of a yellow card metal turnsAn underground world of spaghetti steel slidesI laid my head back and tried to envisionBeing hurled under sky scrapersThose that twinkle and glow in the night sky.Just another layer of a complex means to movementThe F train is know for it’s pumpkin orange color and it’s easy uptown run.Much like a sprinter being pushed by some unknown force to beat his best time.I attentively listen to each second tick tock away.Broadway and Lafayette next run Second Avenue.A gruff speaker replaces my conscious mindNow I slip under a colony of ants.Knowing the world they are in and notThe universe in which they exist.-------------------------in case I flip the fuck out--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I know I will die and it could be faster than I can take flightIt may rush into my bedroom late at nightTake a grip around my heart and squeezed too ttight.Im ok im okIs all I sayI could be an old man shaking to bad to eatOr paralyzed unable to move my feetjust moving a finger an incredible feat.Im ok im okIs all I saynOW when everything is in its right placeand something hits your face.Runz through my nose like maseIm ok im okIs all I sayThis is the time I realize its todayNot to stop myself when I have something to sayThe sun has already determined the time of day.-----------------------To Sylvia---------If we had met-----------------------------------------------------------------------------The inside of and oven was it? The last place were you would go to find peace of mind.You smelt the gas and with the warm welcome of a dreaming child pulling over blanket to dream better.It must have been depression. It must have been running through your veins and swimming in your veins.You forget late august dayz that burn on and on like wicks with no candles to soften the flame.Please say you never forgot those nights in May that carry catalyst for change.What happened when battling that murderous self. I know the battle goes on.The crisp voice that creeps and crawls around every thought with potential. I’ll teach myself like you to be a better teacher. Forget the day before. Your good self will see all the colors in the spectrum.Taste each meal and savor each crumb. With dogged determination I will join the masses and get through each day kicking the demon.-------------------------------------------------melted sand-------------------------------------------------------------------------Sand melts to glassmissing mothers peel skin off babies blistered backsscreams echo and bounce down city walls covered with black ashtears pour down soot covered faces trudging on with remorseand shame of a disaster beyond conception.A little city now a little hole starved for life.New technology makes aiming precise.War hawks screamWaiting to take flightKill in Germany kill in VietnamA bomb dropped on AfghanistanAll in the name of helping your fellow manThose who support war will never understandWe melted glass to sand in a small country called japanMagnetic ribbons decorate patriotic carsAs a symbol of war packaged and soldTo a nation red hot set on revenge.Toooooooth------------------------- ---------------------------------brushTwisted brittle bristlesWorn to the bottom bent from the middleThis tooth brush has seen better dayzSince opening it has endured a rash of brutal scrubbingsPressed too hard it screams for a light circular motionTension and pressure stresses the purple plasticA humans subconscious is seenOn a small purple tooth brushMake your teeth real straight even if they bleedWhat ever it takes to let them make you pretty.__________________________bring out the best in me---------------------------------------------------Black clothes surrounding mable slab tombstones housing pine boxes dug deep into soft wet earth.Dust covered religious symbols hang over white sheets stains by wine. I was here please DC don’t forget I was hereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1100011---------------------------------my Mountian---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Every morning I climb up a mountainTo free myself from the wolvesThe air is sort of chill and it is lonely up hereMy mind keeps me companyThis bucket of trash I carry has to be dumped once I reach the top.I will shower my trash over the wolves for them to devourAnd make a meal of my shameWhen the stomachs are full then descend.-------------------------------------Hay Fever-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I’m sitting in a fieldSurrounded by burning hay stacksAnd missing an ear bit off by my better half.That half is using the bloody cartilage to writeSorry to disagreeMy perception of the night is sprinkledWith stars of destituteHer red light has told me to goSo I have set sail with a floating anchorUnable and unwilling to dock my ship.------------------------------------------Young Ones----------------------------------------------------------------Young ones run through the coldWhisper soft hot whit clouds while telling secrets to the starsYoung ones move so fluid with boney legs chasing tomorrows lightYoung ones don’t learn to judge every weary pilgrims face until deathBecomes a struggling race.Young ones use canes to proveHow old they claim you are too.Too tired to help Paint today?Young ones just sit and play.-----------------------------------Solis planum-------------------------------------------------------------------------------Solis planum is were we will meet in the valley of the coldest planet closet to ours. Just remember when you are lying next to him it’s not the truth it is his sensuality. I was waiting my heart broke with the tide I remember that ride spinning out of control on your ride. Just too high to be though with time. Alone is tough and I know you to be tough enough to want to through out all out stuff. When the smoke clears you will see it was and idea for just one lady. Meet me now…. way far dow ….n in that coldest valley.-------------------------------The television is a confused old man---------------------------------------------The television is a confused old manToo cold and cool to shake your handHis jaw opens spraying you with hisArrogant delightA bomb kills a home team scores tonightConstantly evading in the same lies and rulesYou taught us to live by.We will go to a retirement home for a day.I will pack a sand which with a little red appleIf it is closed you can wait on the side of the road.Smell the burning rubber and distant engine thunder!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1---------------------------------------orange------sunrise with her---------------------------------------------------------A slick of orange ripples across the lake like barrels of paint spilt and left to mirror the ball of bright that sustains our existence. If I caught a fish in the reflection it would bleed orange and in eating it my skin would turn the color of gumball tree leaves in autumn. It would glow like jack lanterns on a spooky porch. My heart would then thrust Sunkist out my veins across my pumpkin skin and back into the lake of fire/home of the morning glow that emits warmth like the bottom of a log in a fire still glowing from the night before.thanks
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behind the music
Jun 30, 2008
if only you knew. Times were hard in the 1980's. I felt my life could go in two directions..1 would be death which is far worse than rehab, or 2 get clean. I look back on it as a time when time was nothing more than white lines on a table. The fame of Pish Posh and Layzer was almost too much to handle. If the band was to reunite We would have to do it in a clean environment. Someplace like a park or chuky cheese.
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hard ass (the movie) coming soon
Jun 25, 2008
Coming soon to a theater near you!Two students skilled in the art of HARDASS declare revenge on the people who murdered their Sensai.
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cheeto commercial
Jun 22, 2008
jbeall a professional hardass meets his match in a cave only to find out he can't out run his hunger